Can't let go

Geng Jie sometimes asks Nanjin, do I treat you well?

Nanjin would always answer with a smile, yes, you are the best person in the world to me.

Nanjin felt that he was telling the truth.If there was no Geng Jie, he would have died with Nan Qiao long ago, and would not have lived well until now.

Geng Jie also just wanted to see Nanjin act like a baby with him, and didn't really have any doubts about it.He is good to Nanjin, which is known to everyone around him.

But when Nanjin woke up, Geng Jie sat beside Nanjin's hospital bed and asked again: "Ajin, am I treating you badly?"

Nanjin fell asleep after taking medicine. At this time, he still had some drug reactions and felt uncomfortable, so he frowned and didn't answer, just called him hummingly: "Mu Xian."

"Ok?"

"I want to drink."

Geng Jie got up and helped him sit up, fed him some water, and supported his back to tell him to lie down slowly.

"I'm sorry..." Nanjin said softly.

Geng Jie stroked his hair and said, "It's because I didn't take good care of you."

Nanjin didn't look at Geng Jie, he turned his head to look at the sunset outside the window, his eyes were empty, and after a while, he said: "No, you are very good to me."

"But I often feel that your kindness to me is like raising a dog. Give it an exquisite kennel, feed it the top dog food, tie it with the softest dog leash, and obey it when you are obedient. Shun Mao. If it leaves you, it will become a dog without a master, alone, with no place to live and nothing to eat."

His voice was very soft, and it was a bit difficult to speak, but he still insisted on finishing such a long paragraph.Geng Jie listened to him in silence, for a long time, he just took Nanjin's hand and wrapped it completely in his palm.He likes to hold Nanjin's hand like this the most.

The ward was very quiet, Geng Jie held Nan Jin's hand, habitually rubbed his joints with his thumbs and circled gently.Nanjin was too thin, even the palms of his hands were so thin that the joints protruded from each other.

They didn't look at each other for a long time.

Geng Jie asked with a light smile, "Then what is Aunt Hua?" It seemed that Nanjin just said an ordinary joke.

Nanjin was speechless.He could slander that he was like a dog, but it was hard to say that Aunt Hua was used by Geng Jie to tie his dog on a leash, so he turned his head to look at Geng Jie.Geng Jie sat with his back behind him, Nanjin couldn't see his expression clearly, but felt that his eyes were very gentle, as gentle as if he had lost his armor.

"I asked her to come and take care of you, okay? Wait until you get well..." Geng Jie fell silent, and Nanjin had the illusion that he could feel the blood dripping behind the silence. Don't worry." It seemed that the initial silence was just a natural pause.

Nanjin didn't speak.

They have been together for too long, and because of their tacit understanding, some things don't need to be said at all.This is the case when we make mutual promises, and it is also the same when we separate.

When Zhong Tong came to Nanjin's ward to check on Nanjin's situation, he was still lying on the bed, Aunt Hua waited on him, and Geng Jie had already left.

"How do you feel?" Zhong Tong asked.

Nanjin remained silent.

Zhong Tong has long been used to it.He was always like this, rarely had real communication with the psychiatrist, on the surface he was gentle and docile, but closed himself tightly, as if the role of the psychiatrist was to prescribe medicine for him.Zhong Tong even suspected that he was obstinately guarding that sick self in his subconscious, and never thought about getting a good treatment.

"I just told Mr. Geng some precautions, you..."

"Aunt Hua, can you buy some strawberries for me?" Nanjin said suddenly.

Aunt Hua was originally standing on the side listening, but she glanced at the inexplicable Zhong Tong, said "Hey", and said, "Doctor Zhong, please help me to take a look at him, I'll come as soon as I go."

Zhong Tong replied: "Okay."

After Aunt Hua went out, she went to see Nanjin, waiting for his next words.

Nanjin said: "I broke up with him, and I don't need to tell him anything in the future."

Zhong Tong was a little unexpected, "You..."

In front of Geng Jie, she asked Geng Jie to stay away from Nanjin, but she never meant to tell them to break up.She said to Nanjin: "In your situation, it is impossible to let you stay alone."

After Nanjin said these two sentences, he seemed to be very tired. He didn't want to say more, but murmured: "Then stay in the hospital, and then we'll talk...Anyway, I can't die by his side."

Now, Zhong Tong's eyes were completely wide open: "Why do you have such an idea?"

"One day," Nanjin just said, "I can't control myself."

Nanjin did commit suicide without a doubt, but what made him hesitate in the end, and obediently asked Aunt Hua to take him to the hospital, which Zhong Tong only now fully understands.He was afraid that he would die beside Geng Jie, in the house where he and Geng Jie lived day and night, which would make Geng Jie sad.

Geng Jie let go, and Nan Jin also let go of some invisible pressure, and instead became cooperative, looking forward to being discharged from the hospital wholeheartedly.

Aunt Hua was the last to know about this matter.

During Nanjin's hospitalization, Geng Jie still came to visit Nanjin every day. Aunt Hua thought he was busy, so she didn't accompany him personally. In fact, she had some small complaints in her heart. She felt wronged for Nanjin and told Geng Jie several times in private.Geng Jiexu responded, he seemed to be in a bad mood, and was running back and forth every day, Aunt Hua didn't think much about it after all.But on the day she was discharged from the hospital, the person who picked her up was not Geng Jie, and the luggage she had accumulated in the past few days was sent to the new house, and Aunt Hua realized what was going on.

She held Nanjin's hand and refused to allow him to leave: "Why are you doing this? Who cares about your food and clothing outside? You have a temper...you will suffer a lot. If Mu Xian is wrong, just let him admit it." Aunt Hua said The person hired by Geng Jie said such words, which made Nanjin laugh softly.He no longer had the energy to cry and laugh.

"Aunt Hua, I owe him a lot, but what I am most grateful to him is that he allowed you to accompany me for so many years." In the end, what he said was this, which made Aunt Hua speechless for a moment, unable to even open her mouth.Nanjin is not a person who is good at words. He tilted his head and thought for a long time, but he didn't know how to express it. He just said: "If...if it is possible, I am willing to give you an old age." He said it a little shyly, a little embarrassed , softly, and immediately ended the conversation on his own after finishing speaking, pretending that nothing happened.

Only then did Aunt Hua deeply realize that Nanjin hadn't changed at all, he was still that ignorant and sensitive little boy who never made things difficult for others, but always made things difficult for himself, which made people feel distressed.

She wiped her tears and said: "You say this, you, you really... I don't want the Geng family's money anymore! I will follow you and take care of you, okay? "

Nanjin also helped her wipe away tears, and said softly, "I will take care of myself. I came from an orphanage, why not? On the other hand, Mu Xian, he has no patience, he is busy every day, I am not here, and only you can see I'm relieved when I look at him. If you miss me, come and see me, I'll take you shopping, to the park, and treat you to something to eat."

In Aunt Hua's memory, Nanjin would not say such stereotypes.He must have thought about it for a long time before he could say it so consummately.

In the end, she had no choice but to ask: "Why, did Mu Xian treat you badly?"

Nanjin was quiet for a while, then replied, "You don't know how much I like him."

"Because I like him so much, those good things about him are not what I want. I just want him to like me too, just like I like him, so so so so so much."

Nanjin is almost thirty, and it is actually very childish to say such a thing.But this is in front of Aunt Hua, so it doesn't matter if he is a little childish.

When he said this, Aunt Hua felt relieved, thinking that it was only a temporary conflict after all, two people liked each other, so how could they not be together.But he knew that this so-called peace of mind was just a temporary comfort.