world without empathy

Four days have passed since that Sunday, and Shaonan and I have not spoken a word.As the mid-term exam approached and the weather gradually turned cold, I refocused on my studies.It's just that every time Shaonan passed by, he would look over unconsciously, and then lower his eyes in disappointment.

"The mid-term exam is coming soon, how is the review?" It was my mother's call.

"pretty good."

"I heard from the teacher that you have taken sick leave a few times, and you should pay more attention to keeping warm and eating on time. How much progress will be missed by taking this leave?"

"understood."

"I ordered a carton of milk and walnuts for you, and it will arrive next week."

"Ok."

"Then study hard."

"Ah."

After hanging up the phone, I opened the English textbook and tried to recite a few more words. Meng Jiangnv, who had always been silent, asked, "Did you call from home?"

Before I could answer, I saw someone break in and lead the door. It was Guo Xiao.

She subconsciously looked at Shaonan's location and said to us mysteriously, "I have some important news for you."

"What's the matter?" Meng Jiangnu and I asked together.

"I heard that someone saw our Fang Shaonan kissing a girl, the two seem to be dating."

"Really." I said involuntarily.

Meng Jiangnv also shifted her gaze back to the book "How to Be a Good Dog" in front of her.

Seeing that our reaction was too negative, Guo Xiao asked a little incomprehensibly, "Aren't you surprised?"

"It's okay." Meng Jiangnv and I said in unison.

"Okay..." Guo Xiao sat back on the bed a little discouraged. Before his butt was warmed up, the door was opened again.

It's a strange face.

"Excuse me, is Shaonan there?"

"She's not here, may I ask you?" I asked.

"Then please wait for her to come back and tell her that Shi Yishu is looking for her."

"Ok."

When the girl named Shi Yishu turned to leave, I recognized from her back that this person was the girl who was with Shaonan in the bush, and my heart became more complicated.

Afterwards, the affair between Shaonan and the girls quickly spread throughout the campus like a virus, and became more bizarre and more unforgivable after several mouths of word of mouth.Most people refused to contact her, for fear of being labeled as gay.However, while many people pointing fingers, many people also discovered her charm.Since then, Shaonan's sexuality has become an open secret.

At the same time, I also found that the side effect of focusing all my attention on my studies and trying not to miss her was that after I couldn't hold on anymore, I missed her even more than before.

I began to regret that impulsive Sunday, and even began to envy that girl named Shi Yishu.My mind became out of control and I became a stranger, which made me feel overwhelmed and scared.There is a voice in my heart that keeps saying: I want to talk to her, it is very urgent.

So I found her one night after the evening self-study, and it happened that there were only two of us in Room 304 at that time.

That was the back view of her tidying up the closet. I was almost driven by instinct to hug her tightly from behind, like grabbing the last straw after drowning.

"what are you doing?"

Surprised by my sudden movement, she tried to break free from my arms.

Taking advantage of my height, I lowered my head and kissed her slightly parted lips the moment she turned her head to face her.However, I have never kissed anyone before, because I don't know how to kiss a person, so I can only stick to her soft lips and stick to my position without advancing or retreating.Then, I was pushed away.Just like pushing her away, except that she was kinder and didn't hit me in the face.

"sorry."

I lowered my head and said, "I don't understand why I am like this. I try my best not to think about you, but my mind is still full of you...why...why do you still have a girlfriend? You want to seduce me, why did you disappear into my world as if nothing had happened when I had to miss you, why?" The more I talked, the more excited I slowly squatted down and lowered my head Buried in trembling shoulders, trying not to make a sound.

I saw her holding me while stroking my back and saying, "Because it's fun."

Her words were undoubtedly pouring a basin of ice water over me from head to toe.With a tremor in my heart, I slapped her hand off and backed up several times with my hands supporting my body. I just felt that this person in front of me was too strange, far more cruel than I thought.

Seeing me looking at her with conflicting eyes, she approached slowly and said, "Didn't you say you liked me, didn't you say that you were full of me, why did you back off, why did you look at me like this."

She grabbed my chin and pressed her lips together, still so soft, but as cold as ice.Just then the door was opened.

It was Shi Yishu from Shaonan.

She threw the book in her hand to the ground, ran over and picked me up and gave me a sharp slap.This slap was so strong that it made my left ear buzz.Before I could react, she kicked me to the ground again, and stomped hard on my stomach. Just as she was about to continue kicking, Shaonan grabbed her arm and stopped her.She followed Shao Nan's pull and looked sideways, and after hesitating for a moment, she spat at me and said.

"Bitch."

Then he shook off Shaonan's hand and left our field of vision.

Shaonan glanced back at me, then picked up the books on the floor and followed them out, leaving me curled up in an empty room to hug myself.

"Sister Xinyu, I want to sleep at your house tonight."

After Shi Yishu hung up the phone, he climbed the wall and left the school gate.She is not a fool, she knew that it was the girl Shao Nan kissed just now.But she did this firstly to completely cut off that girl's thoughts, and secondly because she couldn't do anything to Shaonan or said in a fit of anger that she wanted to break up with her.She put in too much effort to be able to stand beside Shaonan. She knew that Shaonan didn't like her, but she still guarded her position cautiously, feeling happy for possessing her.Because she was afraid that she would lose Shaonan if she was not careful, and then even the only chance to possess her would be deprived.

Thinking of this, she felt angry and powerless.At this moment, she just wanted to escape from school and throw herself into another warm embrace.There, no matter what she does, she will be tolerated, and she can temporarily put aside her usual trembling.To her, that person is an angel.