execution boy

Xiaodao was lying on the hospital bed, sideways looking at the distant window expressionlessly, there was a pot of green radish on the window, and he had been staring at the pot of green radish for a long time.

The nurse came over and said to me that the doctor had something to tell me and asked me to go to his office.

I tucked the corner of the quilt for the knife and said, "I'll be back later."

He didn't give me any response and I got used to it and went to the doctor's office.

The doctor took out the examination film just done on the knife two days ago, and said, "You have to be mentally prepared, his brain has already started to degenerate."

I was surprised: "What do you mean?"

"Look at this shadow, it's a blood clot in his brain, it should have been formed after a severe impact, and recently there is a tendency to severely compress the nerves, and his current behavior, in medical terms, is called advanced neurological activity Obstacles, Zhao Xiaodao's thinking, memory or analysis and judgment ability are extremely weakened, including visual space recognition, and self-emotional control, etc., which is no different from dementia."

I stared blankly at the doctor: "Then, is there any way to treat him, to take out his blood clot?"

The doctor smiled: "Those of you who don't understand medicine know how to guess. It's not that easy. The nerves in the brain are the most difficult places to touch. If you move the whole body, if his blood clot is really operated on, the consequences will be [-]%. Permanent dementia may even be accompanied by blindness, deafness, and impairment of various functions of the body."

"Then what about taking medicine?"

The doctor said: "This is the only thing that can be done at present. Now he sometimes remembers something and sometimes acts like a dementia. It is because of the oppression of the blood clot. Although a doctor should encourage the patient's family to face the disease positively, I must explain it to you. Bottom line, don't have too many illusions, that's all I can say."

The doctor looked at me and finally said, "Take him home and be with him well."

My blood was instantly cold.

I don't know how I got out of the office, and I know the doctor is watching me from behind, with pity.

I walked into the ward, and the knife was still sitting there motionless. I found a bench and sat on it, holding the hand of the knife.

"Xiaodao, I don't believe this, I don't believe it."

I choked up: "Let's go home, they are all liars."

I started to pack things for him in a daze, my head was in a mess, the noisy traffic outside the window made me irritable, it seemed that there was a fire in my chest that was going to burn me to ashes.

I don't want to think about what the doctor means by that.

All I know is that the only thing I want to do right now is take the knife home.

Carrying a bag and holding a knife in my hand, I eagerly got off the elevator of the hospital. As soon as I got out of the first floor, I saw several nurses pushing a man covered in blood. The man was motionless, and the woman next to him was crying.

"You can't have anything to do. If you have any troubles, how can I live..."

When I heard this sentence, my pace slowed down, and Xiaodao's pace also slowed down with me, completely unconscious imitation.

I turned my head to look at the knife, and my original sad mood seemed to be taken away by the woman's wailing.

I couldn't feel anything around me anymore, I could only feel the warm hand of the knife, and I clenched it tighter.

When I got home, I changed him into soft pajamas.

The goose-yellow pajamas set off Xiaodao's fair face, making him look even more immature, not like a 27-year-old young man at all.

The knife is like a puppet being pulled by me, and there is almost no sound in the whole room except me.

There is a park next door to the community. There is a large poplar forest. The green branches and leaves seem to always attract Xiaodao's love. I always take him there for a walk, and find a bench to sit down when he is tired.

He would also fix his eyes on the green, and the corners of his mouth curved up unconsciously. I don't know if he is still thinking about something, or if he has nothing, but he seems to be in a much better mood than at home.

In late autumn, Xiaodao had already slowed down his walking. I picked the best wheelchair in the mall and assembled it by myself when I got home. He was watching me from the sofa. I hadn’t used these tools for a long time, and my technique was a little rusty. I smiled apologetically at him. If he was conscious, he would laugh at my stupidity in his heart.

After dinner in the evening, I went into the bathroom and began to bathe him with water, mixed hot water with cold water, and tried the water temperature again. Xiaodao has been especially afraid of the cold recently, even though it is still a season of high autumn air, every time he sits on the sofa, he must Drape in a thick blanket.

I took off his pajamas and carried his soft body into the bathroom.

I wiped his body with a towel and found that he was getting thinner and thinner. Now I can even feel the shape of the bones through the skin. I blame myself for not taking good care of him.

Xiao Dao seems to be afraid of water all the time, and struggles a little every time he takes a bath. Every time I see him startled and wide-eyed, I laugh. This kid is as sensitive as a cat.

But the cat will scream and run away when taking a bath, he won't, he is just a little frightened at first, and then he will let me help him bathe meekly.

I'm used to his meekness these days.

So when he covered his body with a towel, looked at me blankly and said, "Who are you?", I stood there in a daze, at a loss.

It's been several months, and he hasn't said a word, and I'm used to his silence. I looked at his frightened expression, as if the doll I had raised for a long time came to life one day.

I hugged his body tightly and cried bitterly.

Xiaodao struggled uneasily and said, "It hurts."

I quickly let go of him: "Where does it hurt? I hurt you, right?"

Xiao Dao tilted his head with a pure expression: "Who are you?"

"I... I am your brother, and my name is Zhao Yi." I said cautiously.

Xiaodao stared at me for a while with black and white eyes: "My brother, Zhao Yi."

"Then who am I?"

"You are Zhao Xiaodao, my younger brother."

He was silent for a while, then lowered his head slightly: "Sorry, I don't remember."

I couldn't bear the ecstasy in my heart, and said: "It's okay, I will let you remember it slowly."

Xiaodao nodded suspiciously, then whispered, "Can you go out, I want to get dressed."

I quickly said, "I'll help you."

"No, I'll do it myself..." Xiaodao looked a little nervous and defensive. I was afraid of scaring him, so I put down my things and went out of the bathroom.

There was a burst of ecstasy in my heart.

I hurriedly called Dr. Liu, and I said Xiao Dao was in good condition, he was able to talk, and he would gradually get better.

Dr. Liu was silent for a while, and said: "Zhao Yi, you have to be mentally prepared. It's not good for him to repeat himself like this. If he still knew you in the past, and he still has past memories, it's okay if he has some abnormal disorders. , but now he doesn't know you, not even himself, you...you'd better be mentally prepared, forget it, you guys have a good time. "

Dr. Liu hung up the phone without saying anything, and I stood there in a daze, my heart that had just jumped for joy fell back to the bottom following these few words.

The knife in the bathroom said through the door, "Well, Zhao Yi, can you come here?"

I rushed into the bathroom and saw Xiaodao's helpless eyes.

"Why can't I use my legs? Am I sick?"

I knelt down and brushed his wet bangs aside.

"It's okay, Xiaodao, you just fell ill and will get better slowly."

Xiaodao looked down at me, the corner of his mouth curved in an arc.

"Thank you, Zhao Yi."

I held back my tears and said, "We are brothers, so there is no need for the word thank you."

Xiaodao smiled.

I remembered what Dr. Liu said, and I felt a little uneasy, and asked, "Xiaodao, do you still remember what happened to me?"

Xiaodao frowned and thought for a while, thinking in a daze.

I was terrified when I saw this expressionless face, so I quickly held his hand: "Let's not think about it, if you can't remember it, don't think about it, it's okay, you will remember it slowly in the future."

Xiaodao narrowed his eyes and said, "Did I like fighting very much before? Several boys fight together, and I always bully others?"

"My handwriting is very good, right? It seems that some people have always praised me for my handwriting."

"Do I like to collect all kinds of albums, but whose album... I don't remember."

Xiaodao suddenly frowned and said, "Am I not very good-tempered? The kind who doesn't always like to laugh..."

I can't stand listening to this.

What he remembered was not himself, but Zhao Yi from the past.

I didn't want him to see me bury my face in his lap with the frustrated, sad expression on my face.

Xiaodao touched my head: "Why are you crying? Is my illness very serious?"

I raised my head and smiled: "Of course not, everything will be fine, trust me."

Xiao Dao smiled, his eyes sparkled brightly.