execution boy

I came home from get off work and brought Dr. Liu with me. The medicine for Xiaodao was almost gone. Dr. Liu prepared new medicine for him. He also wanted to check the latest situation of Xiaodao.

As soon as he opened the door, he saw Xiaodao talking to the bear doll on the bedside, with a serious expression on his face.

"Why is this kid crazy again? Didn't you say a few days ago that he is still acting like a normal person?" Dr. Liu frowned.

"He's like that, good and bad," I said.

This is the normal state of Xiaodao, I don't want to disturb him, he has his own world, I put the bought vegetables into the refrigerator, pick out a few tomatoes and eggs, and take out a piece of beef and onion.

"Would you like to have dinner with us here today? I'll make more." I poked my head out and asked.

"That's a good relationship. Anyway, I don't bother to cook when I go home." Dr. Liu said, looking at Xiao Dao worriedly.

The room was very quiet, and I said while chopping vegetables: "His condition relapses from time to time, sometimes he communicates with me like a normal person, and sometimes he is addicted to his own world and can't get out. Will the new medicine you brought today work? ?”

Doctor Liu said: "I think, don't dislike me. To be honest, your money is a lot of money. It's hard for him to recover from his illness."

I smiled: "I know, I just want to try again."

I vaguely heard Xiao Dao say very seriously: "Get out, I don't want to see you."

"Aren't you leaving yet? I said, you and I have been strangers since that night."

I was taken aback, these words sounded so familiar to my ears.

Xiaodao stroked the bear's head with a gloomy expression: "I just know now that there has always been a bomb at home, which may explode at any time, and our whole family will not be safe if it explodes. Zhao Xiaodao, you are a devil. Both you and your father It's the devil!"

I put down the knife, walked to the living room, and stood with Dr. Liu watching the knife from a distance.

Doctor Liu said in a low voice, "If he gets emotional in the future, you'd better stay away from him. Safety is still very important. Look, he wants to kill that bear."

I ignored him and just looked at the knife intently.

The knife dragged the bear for a few steps, threw it into a corner, and said: "Look, this is where my mother's body was placed. My father wailed at the body for three days in order not to be cremated. Then At that time, every night, I wondered whether my mother would be cold here, whether she would catch a cold."

"Are you crying? Why do you have the face to cry? How do you have the right to cry? People say that you will repay your kindness with revenge. I only hear the sound but don't see the real face. You let me see that your father is a pervert, a murderous demon!"

"Forgive you? How can I forgive you? If you go back and kill your father, I'll fucking forgive you! Now you get out of my house, I don't want to see you in my life!"

"If you don't go again, be careful that I'm rude to you!"

Xiao Dao's eyes looked as if they were about to explode.

I watched all this with tears in my eyes. I didn't know that I was so terrified at that time.

In his chaotic world, he already thinks of himself as me.

I walked over and squatted in front of Xiaodao: "Zhao Yi, Xiaodao is not wrong, he is still a child."

Xiaodao looked at me with a sneer.

Dr. Liu supported his forehead beside him: "Is he impersonating you?"

I took a deep breath and said to Xiaodao: "Then why do you want a small knife? It has already happened, and now the police are also in contact with the judicial department in the United States to arrest his father and send him back to the country..."

Xiaodao's voice was cold: "I want their whole family to die, I want him to live in pain for the rest of his life, I want him to watch his father's blood flow like a river, I want..."

"No, you don't think so!"

Xiaodao had a sad expression on his face: "That's what I thought."

I held the knife tightly: "Stop talking, stop talking..."

Xiaodao said: "I...I wish I never knew Zhao Xiaodao in my life!"

I closed my eyes, feeling the slight trembling of Xiaodao's thin body.

I said: "Think about the past between you and Xiaodao, Zhao Yi, he has never been sorry to you."

Xiaodao was taken aback.

I put my lips against his hair and said: "Your favorite thing to do is to play football after school. You don't feel tired when you play every day. Every time you come home, you are sweaty, and the knife doesn't dislike you. At that time, the washing machine at home was not good. Yes, it's all the clothes he washed for you, have you forgotten?"

"Your favorite singer is Xiao Jingteng, that ignorant Zhao Xiaodao has always looked down on Xiao Jingteng, but there was a signing event in Chengdu, he stood in line for two hours for you, and got Xiao Jingteng's TO sign for you, But you didn’t appreciate it, and said that the signature was broken without writing your name, making the knife very sad, it’s either human or you did it!”

"You clearly know that Xiaodao is afraid of rainy days, and always scare him to tears on rainy nights. When he really cries, you regret it and sleep with him with your arms around him. How many times have you done these stupid things?"

"You always say that Xiaodao is stupid, Xiaodao is stupid, but when someone really knows how to recite "笠翁对韵", you happily brag to your mother, saying that you taught it well."

"You always dislike small knives at home, but every time you hear someone say that small knives are not good at school, aren't you the first to rush up and beat them up? But you are just stupid, and you never told Xiaodao, you said he must How happy..."

Speaking of this, I couldn't help but lightly tapped Xiaodao's shoulder, and the tears flowed uncontrollably: "You bastard, you have always been wrong, you obviously like Xiaodao from the very beginning, the first time you saw him You can't wait to protect him like a baby, you know he's done nothing wrong, how can you bear to torture him like this?..."

Doctor Liu sighed deeply, walked over slowly and patted my back, and pulled me away from Xiaodao. Xiaodao sat on the sofa in a daze, and I turned my head to look elsewhere, feeling bitter in my heart.

Dr. Liu said: "Zhao Yi, I have known you for ten years, and I want to tell you something from the bottom of my heart. You live with him, you are torturing each other, and it does not help his illness at all."

I do not speak.

Dr. Liu said: "I know a hospital that is not expensive. It specializes in neurology. There are professional doctors and escorts there. Send him there. This is the best way for you and him."

I said, "Dr. Liu, I don't want to be separated from Xiaodao. I have waited too long for ten years. I don't want to go to a certain place to see him regularly. I just want to watch him every day."

Dr. Liu said: "I know Zhao Yi, I know, but you won't do any good to his condition. Do you want him to go on like this for the rest of his life? A useless person, without you, he doesn't even have the ability to survive , how can you bear it?"

"You also said that if there is even a [-]% chance of bringing him back to normal, you are willing to give it a try. Sending him to the hospital now is the best help for him. You..."

Dr. Liu sighed: "I know the feelings between you, but in order to go further in the future, you should consider my suggestion."

He patted me on the back, then left without eating, put a few bottles of medicine on the coffee table.

I stared blankly at Xiaodao, Xiaodao's eyes seemed to be covered with dust at the moment, and they were still beautiful, but those eyes seemed to be just decorations, and they couldn't see anything.

I know him at this time, he will not take the initiative to say anything, at this time he is like a walking dead, without any ability to move, and I don't know how long it will last, sometimes one day, sometimes several days.

There was a twinge in my heart.

Dr. Liu was right, it was too selfish for me to do this, I always wanted to tie him by my side, I confidently thought that I could live with him properly if I had a house.

But in fact, there is too little I can do, and I can't walk into his life at all.

We live under one roof but exist in two worlds.

My thinking is too naive, his world will not change because of my existence, everything is my imagination.

I walked up to him and kissed his forehead lightly: "Xiao Dao, should I send you to the hospital so that you will recover?"

It was impossible for Xiaodao to answer me, and his eyes were still looking into the distance with no expression.

The whole room was extremely still.

My tongue was bitter, and I gently hugged his thin shoulders, letting his head rest on my shoulders, like holding a doll made of glass.

"Xiaodao, I was wrong, I was really wrong, don't punish me again, okay? Okay?"

I finally couldn't help it, and wept bitterly.