my joann

Chapter 41

National Day [-]th is said to be a long holiday, but it always slips away when no one notices.The four-person group of parents flew back to China today, Qiao An and Lu Yihang got up early in the morning, ready to pick up the plane.

Joan has been restless since he got in the car. The airport is one of the places he doesn't want to go. If he can, he would rather not set foot in his life.

This is perfectly reflected in Joan's seat belt.

Lu Yihang turned his head from time to time, always seeing Qiao An twisting his seat belt in various weird postures.

It's like a twist, and it's like a rag that can't be wrinkled.

"What are you thinking about?" Lu Yihang took advantage of the gap and touched the top of Qiao An's head, "Is your stomach feeling better?"

Joan leaned on the back of the chair, without moving his head, his eyeballs slowly moved to the left, and said, "Stop pulling."

Ever since Joan said that she had diarrhea, she has been acting "delicate". It's not that Joan doesn't want to be tough, it's because her body can't bear it.

That day he took his own medicine, one of each variety.Fortunately, he didn't die from taking medicine indiscriminately, but he slept for a long time.The strange thing is that Lu Yihang didn't seem to have any complaints about Qiao An's sleeping for so long, it just seemed that he was very worried.

After that, as if it was an appointment, Ren Youning sent a WeChat message saying that the treatment had progressed to a new stage, so it was changed from once a week to twice a week, so Qiao An would go to see him again tomorrow.

But Qiao An secretly reminded himself that this time, we must talk about taking medicine, otherwise we will really be unable to make ends meet...

Lu Yihang put his hands back on the steering wheel and concentrated on driving.Joan leaned his head sideways on the chair, looking at everything outside the car window.

They went out early, at the beginning of time, there was only a little light, and the city was blinded, blurring the scene of the rapid retreat.

Joan tightened the seat belt on his chest. The source of strength is a very mysterious thing. Sometimes it is a light in the dark, sometimes it is a hug after separation, and it is the quilt that is tightly covered when sleeping alone. It's a delicious Snickers bar, and for Joan now, what gives him strength is this extremely wide belt on his chest.

Hold it, you don't have to be afraid of anything.

The airport was far away from home, Qiao An and the others went out early in the morning, and Lu Yihang drove very steadily, Qiao An fell asleep leaning on it after sitting for a long time.

It was only when the car stopped that he woke up. After a while, he realized that something was wrong.

"Where is this? Aren't we going to the airport to pick up mom and the others?" Joan leaned on the window and looked out.

Outside the window is a vast expanse of splendor, even through a layer of window glass, it can't stop the beauty that hits the face.

"Mom, their plane is late, and they will arrive in a few hours, so I will take you to play around here for a while." Lu Yihang turned off the car, "Let's go, let's go down."

Joan was at a loss for a while, but curiosity still defeated everything. Anyway, there was no one outside the car, so he didn't have so much fear.

As soon as he got out of the car, he heard sounds that were absolutely impossible to hear in the city. "Wow-wow-" Like the wind beckoning, Qiao An looked at the large paddy field not far away, and walked over without thinking too much.

Lu Yihang smiled behind him and followed his footsteps.

"This is...?" Qiao An asked Lu Yihang in a very low voice as he stood by the edge of the field, as if any louder voice would destroy the beautiful scenery in front of him.

"I don't know what this place is called. I saw it suddenly when I was driving just now, and I brought you here." Lu Yihang closed his eyes, took a deep breath, "It's much more beautiful than I imagined."

Joan nodded, his eyes wide open, his expression forbearing and restrained.

"The weather is so nice, let's go for a walk." Lu Yihang held Joan's hand, Joan licked his lips, and let out a few breaths.

"Will we disturb..." Joan's face was full of anxiety, everything in front of him was so beautiful, even adding a little discordant note would make this place eclipsed.

"No, let's go." Regardless of the turbulent waves in Qiao An's heart, Lu Yihang pulled him towards the narrow path.

There are too many leaves on both sides of the road, Lu Yihang walked in front to open the way for Qiao An, and helped him block most of them, but there were still many fish that slipped through the net, sweeping Qiao An's face, body, or touching Qiao An's hands from time to time, and those comfortable shoes.

Some itching, and maybe some pain from time to time.But Qiao An liked it very much. He quickened his pace and walked to Lu Yihang's side, walking forward side by side with him.

The path is very narrow, just enough for one person to walk, but it is too crowded for two people.Lu Yihang was a little surprised, and hurriedly said, "An'an, the branches and leaves in front hurt, and..." And don't you feel crowded?

Before Lu Yihang finished speaking, he shut up very quickly.Because after Qiao An stood up, he probably also felt that it was very crowded, and within two steps, he raised his arms and wrapped around Lu Yihang's waist, making the two of them stick tightly together.

How could Lu Yihang refuse such an active touch?

Not stupid.

Joan was really happy.He had a sense of joy as he walked on this narrow path.The branches and leaves on both sides hit him non-stop, reminding him all the time that there are such a group of creatures around him.

He is not alone, but he is not afraid at all.

The magic of nature can make people forget many things. Joan forgot that he had been worrying about picking up the plane all morning, he forgot the anti-anxiety medicine that had bothered him for a long time, and he even forgot everything he was afraid of.

At this moment, he let go of his troubles and walked here quietly with Lu Yihang.With the passage of time, the sun slowly sprinkled on the top of their heads, and the warmth drove away all the dark sides.

For so many years of his life, he has been trying to keep himself away from people, or from people.Whether it is talking with people or touching the body, it will make him extremely anxious.Sometimes even when there is no one around, I will suddenly feel anxious.

Someone once said that he would rather be depressed for three months than be anxious for three months.

Although Joan firmly believed that he was not depressed and didn't know how depression felt, he firmly believed in this sentence.

Anxiety is constant.

It's like the feeling when you are walking on the stairs and suddenly step on the air, and you can't see how long it will take you to fall down.

It's like when you're lying in bed and there's an earthquake and everything shakes before you.

It's like sitting in the classroom, secretly taking out your mobile phone to check the time, only to turn around and find that the teaching director is standing outside the door looking at you.

It would be fine if anxiety was just that.As Joann said, anxiety is a constant state.

So this feeling will definitely not end in half a second or a second.He will last for months, years.

It's the feeling of being afraid all the time without knowing what it is you're afraid of.

Life is worse than death, really life is worse than death.

So for unfamiliar touches, he would never even have a thought.Not appearing does not mean that there is no desire.

If a person has ever had the best friendship in the world and the happiest social experience.When he loses it, he will never quit completely. Even if he doesn't care about it on the surface, deep down in his heart, he must have a deep desire for it.

Not to mention people like Joan who were forced to "quit".

in the city.Strange touches will always make him walk on thin ice, but now, his side is full of strange touches, but it makes him seem to return to the happiest time ever.

Just like what Ren Youning said, the minds of patients with social phobia are always on a roller coaster, and at this moment, the brakes are gently pressed down by a push of rice.

This road looks very long, but for two big men, it will be over soon.It may be that Joan was so relaxed after a long time, he didn't feel tired at all.

At the end of the road was a large vegetable field. This time they finally saw a few scattered figures working in the field.

It was golden just now, and now it is green, and Joan couldn't help but put a big smile on his face.

"Shall we go over and have a look?" Lu Yihang asked Qiao An.

Joan looked at the people in the field, then nodded.Suddenly, he let go of the hand on Lu Yihang's waist, and he didn't realize until just now that he was "shamelessly" holding Lu Yihang all the way.

My brain suddenly became hot, and I stood on the edge of the field and stepped on the mud with my head down.

"What's the matter? Let's go." Lu Yihang walked over, took his hand, and clasped it tightly.

Joan stepped on the mud behind him.

Lu Yihang's feet and Qiao An's feet are very coincident and have the same size, so Qiao An has to be very careful with every step so that he can step firmly in the middle.

So, this also indirectly led to them walking very slowly every step, so slow that they wanted to do this slowly, and finish their whole life.

The sound of running water suddenly came from my ears, faint and not very loud, and I had to prick my ears to hear it clearly.

Qiao An was a little curious. In fact, he liked to play in mountains and fields since he was a child. However, he had more experience climbing mountains when he was a child. He didn't have much experience in the countryside, and he didn't have much experience in rice fields in October. Today is really a It amazed him.

Before he had gone far, he could see where the sound was coming from.In front of them was a small pond, on which a path had been dug, from where the water in it flowed.

There are also a few ducks in the small pond, and they "quack" from time to time.

"Duck," Joan said.

Lu Yihang walked ahead and nodded, "Yes, you're so fat."

"It's delicious with sour radish simmering soup." Qiao An also nodded.

Lu Yihang stood still, turning his head a bit dumbfounded, "An'an, are you hungry?"

"No..." Joan was puzzled, what's wrong?

"If you want to eat old duck soup, go back and ask uncle to make it for you." Lu Yihang said.

"Ah!" Joan opened his mouth wide, "No, no, I suddenly thought of it, and I didn't say it because I wanted to eat it."

Lu Yihang smiled and said, "That's what I want to eat, okay? I'll make it when I get back."

"No way." Joan said, "Speaking of mom, they are back, and I will cook this meal."

"Oh, yes, I almost forgot." Lu Yihang said.

"Actually..." Qiao An looked at the unsuspecting Fat Duck and said, "I make duck soup is also delicious, you can try it tonight."

"Okay, my name is Uncle Li. Tell me what you need, and I'll send him a copy." Lu Yihang raised Qiao An's hand, touched it again and again, "You can do everything, you are so skillful."

Qiao An withdrew his hand, "If you do too much, you will be fine... Anyway, you shouldn't be able to eat it to death, just try for a while."

"Although I like to eat your dishes, cooking is really hard. Let me help you tonight."

"Uh..." Qiao An wanted to refuse, he was not used to having people standing beside him while cooking, but Lu Yihang's piercing eyes were really hard to refuse.

"Huh? By the way, you can also teach me how to make duck soup." Lu Yihang said.

Joan thought about it, nodded and agreed.

"It's almost time. We should go back. It takes about half an hour from here to the airport."

"Okay." Although Joan was very reluctant, they had more important things to do now.

Lu Yihang saw his reluctance, and said to him, "Let's come again when we have a chance, and play longer next time."

Joan nodded vigorously.

The author has something to say:

Lu Yihang: Wife, there are actually many beautiful things in the outside world, come out and have a look!

Joan: Then will you be there?

Lu Yihang: I will always be by your side.

Joan: In fact, as long as you are here, wherever you go is wonderful.

Notes of Lu's Beloved Wife 41

Life is beautiful because of those days when you are by my side.Life is hard because of those days when you're not around.

Someone once said that he would rather be depressed for three months than be anxious for three months.

It's the feeling of being afraid all the time without knowing what it is you're afraid of.

The person who said this is Andrew Solomon, a patient with depression for many years. The above part of the experience about anxiety is adapted from his TED speech, "Depression, Our Hidden Secrets"

Thank you sir for your bravery.