again for the star

You are the only light at the intersection that doesn't exist. The orphan thought, she fell in love with this voice, and she said to the old Chinese doctor: Dad, I have to go out, I want to find her.

The daughter turned off the video window, unbelievable: what?He tried his best to push this kind of messy film.She suggested that you can continue to look at it.The daughter said: Don't watch it, it's too boring.His taste is really bad. Once, he recommended me to read a book, with a total of more than 20 words, and it was all about how a man sat on a spring bed every day after get off work and played with an apple.On the first day, he regarded the apple as a star, and modified the entire constellation diagram with it as a frame of reference; on the second day, he regarded the apple as a woman's lips, spoke good words to her, and was extremely frustrated by her refusal to become soft ; on the third day, he pretended that the apple was a copy of Don Quixote, pretended to be able to read the words on it, and read it aloud in Spanish... so boring!

In the third year after retirement, she participated in the red tour organized by the school for retired old comrades, first to Nanchang, then to Jinggangshan, and then to Yan'an and Xibaipo.In Yan'an, the local accompanying bus somehow took the wrong route to go to the former revolutionary site in Zaoyuan, but it drove to a chicken farm: it was shocking.It was a very sunny day, and there was a wheat field outside the chicken farm. It was the harvest season, and there were shirtless young people walking in the wheat field. The highlights on their chests and arms seemed to be covered with silver spoons.The tour guide was arguing with the driver, so she simply got out of the car.The chickens in the chicken farm are walking around with their wings held up, but they seem to be an evolutionary species of wheat. Wings, flesh, blood vessels, internal organs and brains are all evolved from wheat.She suddenly got interested and was about to tell a joke about this chicken on wheat ear, both physical and spiritual, when the phone rang, and it was her daughter.

"Auntie, Li Yuan is in the hospital."

My daughter felt unwell at the company in the morning, so she was asked to rest and said no; at noon dinner, the dishes were wrong, she said to find someone to reason with, only to hear her talking and screaming over there, she was already paralyzed, Said that no one touched her, but suddenly fell down by herself.After watching the surveillance video, it is true that he fell to the ground.The hospital's diagnosis was cerebral hemorrhage caused by lack of rest and excessive emotion.

She forgot how she spent this year—the remaining half of 2004—and maybe the first half of 2005. She asked Li Zhenguo, and Li Zhenguo couldn't tell the truth, he was equally confused.

It was Sister Chen who gave her a business card: Club for the Elderly who lost their only children.It might be one day at the end of 2004. She took a look and put it in her bag. In 2006, Du Meiling fell ill—a dog she had adopted the year before had bled from its mouth and trembled for some reason. She rummaged through her bag for the phone number of the pet hospital.The Lost Only Elderly Club, she took a closer look, the headquarters is in Beijing.

The Lost Only Elderly Club, in fact, does not have a fixed club at all.They meet regularly every week, at parks, teahouses, and sometimes at a member's home.No one talked about the experience of losing their children. At the first meeting, she thought that everyone would talk about it when they took turns to speak, but no one said, what kind of palm technique they learned this week is a variant of Wudang Kung Fu; What song did I hear? Old Xu in Dongcheng sang it, but it was still not as authentic as Lao Guo's; the dog had its hair trimmed, made a fuss, and scraped off a little of the skin on its stomach; no one mentioned the child.She had no choice but to try not to say anything, she said: The dog at home died last week, and I just arrived in Beijing this week, because I heard about such a club—a business card given to me by an old sister of mine. Lost independence.No good, she thought, mentioning the block word.She went on to say: This old sister is over 70 years old and her body is stronger than mine. She has good health care. She danced sword since she was young and gave birth to three children. They are all strong and strong. I can’t do it. Only got pregnant with the third one—the third one, and it's gone.She was stunned, she felt that she had ruined the situation.She said: Excuse me, everyone.Suddenly someone said: "It's okay, just tell me, you haven't passed the period of confiding, it's because we've all passed it—not intentionally shy away from it—you tell me, if you have rivers and rivers in your heart, you have to let it flow out."

She spoke continuously for two months, and every time she got together, she realized that she was repeating the same thing.I became Mrs. Xianglin, she thought, it's not good, but she didn't care.But they all tolerated it, not the perfunctory kind, she thought, I repeated it again and again, but they all tolerated it.

Half a year later, she participated in a calligraphy and painting class for the elderly. She thought that her emotions were stable enough to hold a paintbrush.She studied oil painting, and stopped going to club parties for a while.The teacher who taught her taught Chinese painting, oil painting, gouache, and cut window grilles at the same time. His oil paintings looked exactly the same as the window grilles he cut in terms of theme and style. Presumably, if he taught flute and piano, he would also blow window grilles the same tune.Despite this, she was still full of energy. After three months of learning, she began to go to the park with a picture frame on her back to draw trees, ponds, pavilions and pavilions.She reappeared at the club at the end of the year, no one was surprised, and blamed her for being abrupt when she came and went. Naturally, the old man's club that has lost the heaviest mountain, how can a feather shake them?

At this time, the club added a new member, an old man who had recently lost his son. He often talked about how his son caught a mosquito when he was young, "smarter than spiders and lizards," spiders, lizards, sensitive, every time He has to divide each word five times to complete the complete pronunciation, and his face is always a rock under a waterfall.She's cleared, that's how I was before, and that's how everyone is before.Yeah, there are people around her to chime in.She turned her head and saw her.

An old lady who was common in clubs - and old was a little out of character.There was no doubt that she was not young, but there was something in her manner and bearing that stood out more than age, so that, at first glance, she did not make one think of age.what is it then?She thought, but it was familiar.She suddenly widened her eyes.

Yao Tieyun.

They said, you became a nun.Yao Tieyun smiled brightly: he has shaved his head and read scriptures.

She was still in a trance, she had thought about her for 20 years, why did she suddenly forget her - there is still such a person in the world - she felt a little guilty: You have already seen that it is me, right?I just recognized you.Yao Tieyun said: It's not surprising, when Junjun just left, I didn't even recognize my relatives.She is also called Qiu Junjun, and her tone is the same as it was more than 20 years ago.She thought, but time flies so fast.

They often walked around each other, she lived in Changping, Yao Tieyun lived in Xicheng, not close to each other, but the two bought vegetables, cooked together, and washed pots and pans.For the first time in their lives, they became real friends.Friends with substantial and consistent contacts.

One night, there was a heavy rain in Beijing, and Yao Tieyun called her: Be careful to close the doors and windows!She said: "Okay, it doesn't matter, it doesn't rain too much here."Yao Tieyun said: I am too big here - I am in the water, and only one head is exposed.She was taken aback: what?Has the house been flooded?Yao Tieyun burst out laughing—it was so angry—she had this kind of laughter when she was young, but now her laughter is mostly short and silent, but this time she laughs still young, as if she is only, well, at most 30 years old : I'm in the bathtub, taking a bath.She complained: You are always so scary.Yao Tieyun said: This day is really scary. It rarely rains like this in Beijing. One of my students just called me and told me, Teacher Yao, it’s not good, the piano room is flooded——oh, she’s picking me up now Class, in the art school - the pianos are all in the water, only the keyboard is exposed, like many square lotus leaves on the water, Mr. Yao, I am dying.I said, you are not going to die, you still have time to make analogies.She also laughed and said: I just came back, you used to teach music at the Art Academy, but I never heard you sing.Yao Tieyun didn't seem to believe it: how could it be?Have you ever seen performances in the city in the past, New Year's Day, Spring Festival, and National Day?She said: It turns out that you also participated in the performances in the city, but I didn't know.Yao Tieyun said: Hey, I'm old, it's not working now.

She said slowly: The first time I heard about you—you, the other party told me that you played the accordion well and sang "Song of Marino".

Nonsense.Yao Tieyun concluded: Qiu Si plays the accordion, I don't play it, I play the piano.I also don't sing "Marino's Song", I don't like it—at least I didn't like this song when I was young. At that time, this song seemed to me too—too cheerful and bright. At that time, I liked it more For sad songs, like "Three Sets of Cars", of course, now that I think about it....

Yao Tieyun stopped talking.

"Of course, I knew what she was going to say. In the last few years of our relationship, we knew what each other was thinking. People who are over 60 years old, especially those who have lost children, not only grow closer When they are more similar, even their thoughts tend to be similar." She said, looking at Chen.

"Of course, although Yao Tieyun and I tend to be similar, I am still very different from you. Therefore, I am not sure whether you can understand what I have said to you. But, as I said, you can Not being able to understand is one thing, and it's another thing for me to have a chance to talk. I've been silent and repressed for too long—a lifetime—and now I'm telling you, because, because like her It was the same as the last sentence that was not spoken on the phone.

"Because, of course, the more beautiful ones are undoubtedly those that are more tragic; but now that I think about it, those who are more cheerful and clear are not necessarily better."

Finish

2013.7.29