again for the star

Title: For the Star Again

Author: Lu Yipi

Content tags: Marriage

Yao Tieyun died of uremia in the autumn of 2010. Afterwards, Du Yingmei dreamed many times that she died due to floods, car accidents, and medical accidents.The most suspicious time was when an orange rolled out of a middle school student's shopping bag when the subway stopped. The root part of the orange hit her temple and killed her on the spot.The following year she met Chen, a software engineer who technically almost became her son-in-law, his first visit since her daughter died in 2004.She saw at a glance the marks on his face severely eroded by another's death, and it occurred to her: Maybe she could talk to him.

Chen made a request and looked through her daughter's photo album, elementary school diary and sketchbook, some letters and excerpts left over from middle school (there are some sentences from Xi Juan and Qiong Yao on them, such as: "How did I meet you...I have already Begged for 500 years before the Buddha" and so on), the jewelry box in college, the female red toolbox, in front of his daughter's wardrobe, he held a silk scarf with a starry night pattern and shed the first line of tears; she invited him When eating at home, stewed ribs, fish porridge, he began to cry.In the next six months, he became a regular customer. He helped her with a small amount of housework. When peeling beans, changing wires, and lifting the combination cabinet in the living room, he said that the text messages from her daughter remained in his mobile phone. He still cried occasionally, but The overall tone of voice has become controllable, he is about to cross that hurdle, she knows, if there is a river in your chest, let it flow.She also knew that it was not far before her turn to talk.

The first time she mentioned Yao Tieyun to Chen, she gave an overly exaggerated characterization, she said: "The most important person in this life." This not only shocked Chen, but even she herself felt that it was inappropriate. For parents, daughter, ex-husband, but for such a person who is far away from the center of his life.Perhaps she was trying to distract Chen from an architectural magazine—in the eyes of someone in her early thirties, she was a wrinkled mass of creation: the elderly, except for breakfast, morning exercise, lunch, nap, dinner, Evening exercises and news broadcasts, there are no other spiritual structures in life, what truly thrilling things can she tell? ——But she faintly felt that the expression "the most important person" is extraordinarily pretentious because it is too romantic, but it is not a lie.

She said that in 1972, she first realized that Yao Tieyun was the ghost who came to kill her.At that time, she was 21 years old and had just married Li Zhenguo, a fitter at the Third Machine Factory.During the day, she went to the workshop to deliver meals to her husband. There was a plump, fair-looking welder named Qiu Si who always affectionately called her sister-in-law, so she inevitably had a few words with him.One day before going to sleep, Li Zhenguo suddenly said: "He doesn't think much of you, a wife is better than you."Although she had nothing to do with Qiu Si—never thought about it, she emphasized—but for some reason, she immediately recognized what Li Zhenguo was referring to.She thought, when he was an elm bump, his mind was so romantic, she pretended not to hear, turned off the light and closed her eyes.Li Zhenguo continued: My daughter-in-law is a college student who can play the accordion and sing "Song of Marino".

She remembered Yao Tieyun that night.Seeing Qiu Si again, she always felt that there was a shadow of a woman behind him. At the party of the Third Machine Factory, he sang "Xiaolu" with the accordion. She thought: She taught him.She tried to capture some elements from his posture, movements and pronunciation to piece together Yao Tieyun.She thought she was a tall woman in a long red dress: like a Soviet woman in a movie, her face was round, her eyes were staring, her nose was straight, her neck was straight and long, and she looked like a stream of water from the side. .

Three years later, she met Yao Tieyun for the first time.She went to the supply and marketing cooperative to buy brown sugar, and ran into Miss Chen from the factory's working committee, who was talking to a woman with a big belly, and greeted her, "Xiao Yao, this is Yingmei, the guy from Da Li in the fourth workshop of Qiu. "Yao Tieyun roughly said something to her, but she didn't hear clearly. In short, he was very kind, but he was very measured.The first time I saw Yao Tieyun, she was obviously different from what she had imagined, she seemed to be shorter, she was old, and her skin was slightly dark and black, but for some reason, she immediately became what she had been before. The style adapted to the imagination.When she came to her senses, they were talking about the child in Yao Tieyun's womb, which was already 8 months old; they also took advantage of the situation to regret her miscarriage, both of which were lost at 5 months. Sister Chen concluded: Yingmei's foundation is too weak , too thin.Yao Tieyun also suggested that she should make up for it, saying: After all, a woman cannot have children.

She had a daughter the following year, and when the child was full moon, colleagues from Li Zhenguo's factory came to visit, and Qiu Si was also there.Yao Tieyun stood far away holding his son Qiu Jun, dealing with a few female family members who were teasing the children. Qiu Jun was a fat and big child, like his father, crying for some reason, waving his arms, as if he was directing his own crying, like conducting a symphony ——This is like Yao Tieyun again, she thought.Qiu Si stood by the bed and talked to her. She was in poor health and couldn't get out of bed for a month after giving birth.He praised her for her perseverance and she is a hero among women. She said, "Thanks to your family, Tie Yun, if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't try it a third time - it would be useless for Li Zhenguo to quarrel with me again."He just took it as her over-made polite words, thinking that she was being polite to me on purpose, and it had nothing to do with Tie Yun.Of course, who doesn't think so?

She often goes to the working committee, and Sister Chen always has news about Yao Tieyun.Yao Tieyun won the Top Ten Young Teacher Medal; Yao Tieyun's mother passed away;For some reason, Yao Tieyun got along very well with Sister Chen. In her opinion, Sister Chen was just a bitch who only slaughtered pigs and dogs. Why did Yao Tieyun take a fancy to her?Li Zhenguo also occasionally mentioned Qiu Si and Yao Tieyun, but she was limited by his suspicion of her relationship with Qiu Si, so she always avoided it, listened when she had time, and refused to ask more questions.Once, Li Zhenguo had no intention of saying that Qiu Si was reviewing his high school cultural courses and preparing to take the college entrance examination next year.She only thought for a moment and said: You can take the exam too.Li Zhenguo was very surprised. He said: Why should I compare this with him?Are you still thinking about him?She thought, it must be Yao Tieyun's idea.She is a college student, and he will not be worthy of her until he also passes the exam.So she told him to shut up: how could he be thinking nonsense!You don't test me.

After all, she was poor in everything. She took the exam for three years and was admitted to the Normal University in 1982.One day in August, she took a piece of cloth to the clothing store. Her daughter was entering elementary school and wanted to buy some new clothes. On the way home, someone suddenly appeared, blindfolded her, and forcibly dragged her aside.It was Qiu Si, he almost put his arms around her, only looked at her, and said: Why do you have to suffer so much for me, my heart aches.She couldn't believe that he was putting on such a show, he only stuck to her, exhaling hot air like a rotten taro, she pushed him away, begging him not to talk nonsense.He said: Who in the factory doesn't know that you have worked so hard for the past three years because of me?He pointed to his swollen eyes and said that it was Li Zhenguo who beat him. "I didn't fight back. I stayed next to you for you." At first, she only thought he was an actor, but now she couldn't tell the truth from the fake.She only asked one sentence: Did Yao Tieyun know?He said: She knows, it doesn't matter.He added: She is so lofty, she thought she was the only one in my eyes.She could only solemnly declare that her college entrance examination had nothing to do with him, and asked him to respect himself.When she left, he yelled strangely from behind: Du Yingmei, you are so reserved.

Li Zhenguo wanted to divorce her, he said: I will fulfill you.She didn't look at him, but asked him not to think about it.She thought it was not easy to pass, and she was ready to make a fuss all night, but unexpectedly he didn't say anything, just said: "Okay, my daughter is still young."

She expected that Yao Tieyun would come to find her, if she came, she wanted to tell her that Qiu Si is not good enough for you.If she asks, who is worthy of me?She couldn't answer, so she made up her mind not to.He just insisted that he has no connection with Qiu Si, so please rest assured.But Yao Tieyun did not come.

In the spring of the following year, one day when she returned to the dormitory after class to put away her textbooks, her roommate met her at the door and told her: You have a friend waiting for you inside.She asked: who?Then only reply: a woman, a little fat.It was Yao Tieyun.She thought, but her roommate missed her, when will Yao Tieyun gain weight.Yao Tieyun was sitting on her bed, with one hand resting on the beech wood desk in front of her. The window of the room was open, and she was looking at the woods outside.At this time, the willows are sprouting, and the light yellow is sparse, but the grass on the land is already very fat and bright, like a short rain.She thought, usually she only felt that the woods looked like a bald thief, but if Yao Tieyun had a look, it would be more delicate.When the two met, they looked like old acquaintances who had been together day and night. Yao Tieyun said, this forest grows fast, and there is a poplar tree that I planted.As soon as she heard it, she decided to ask what happened. Yao Tieyun seemed to startle her, so she had to look for it through the window. Finally, she pointed to one and said, well, she suspected that Yao Tieyun was just pointing blindly, but she ignored it. She said yes, That's it.She planned to go home earlier, but she led Yao Tieyun to a restaurant near Ximen, where they ate three dishes and one soup.They chatted almost everything. She wrote an English composition that didn't make sense. Yao Tieyun pointed out some grammatical mistakes for her. Yao Tieyun asked her what she would do after graduation, but she couldn't answer why. remember.When they talked about their children, Qiu Jun had hepatitis A a while ago and he was cured. Yao Tieyun said that it might be because he didn't eat clean at school, but when he returned to school recently, some good classmates avoided him. It turned out that his parents ordered him to avoid infection. Yao Tieyun said that she went to school and had a fight with the teacher, "Hepatitis A is different from hepatitis B, if you want to be thorough, you should be thorough. As a teacher, you should be responsible and explain these basic common sense clearly. How can you let other people isolate a certain student?" Yao Tieyun When talking, eyebrows like swords