[Comprehensive] Mr. Dazai who can't die

Under Yoshida Matsuyo's strong invitation, Osamu Dazai thought about it and agreed to give a trial course...

After all... that young man named Gui's cooking skills are really good.

Mr. Dazai, who was willing to bend his waist for five buckets of rice, said with a smile on his face in Songyang that as a teacher, he would have two blue crabs as an extra meal at noon every day, and he successfully surrendered.

"Is Mr. Songyang really okay? Just like Yinshi said, this uncle seems to be the lower of that kind of life."

The young man who spoke had purple hair and green eyes. Those green eyes were not Enkidu's vibrant pale green. Intuitively speaking, they were more like dark green, a green that was so deep that it was already dark.Although the boy's purple hair just reached his ear, handsome appearance, exquisite kimono and inexplicable temperament, Osamu Dazai dares to give this boy a few more years to grow, and he will be an outstanding girl killer again.

However, the words spoken by such a young man are more arrogant than anyone else.

"Jinsuke, the teacher said that Dazai-san is a very knowledgeable person." Facing the doubts of the students, the good old man Yoshida Matsuyo explained with a smile, and gave his arrogant student a loving pat on the head, and successfully let the student The boy named Shinsuke Takasugi blushed.

This scene happened to be seen by the sharp-eyed Yinshi, and the boy with dead fish eyes immediately yelled, "Ah, Aoshan, you are really cunning! You said so many doubts because I want Teacher Songyang to pat your head and kill you dearly." Right? You little brat who hasn’t grown up! Right a wig?” In order to make his words more convincing, he even turned his head and asked Gui, who was completely out of state.

Ah Yin would never admit that he was envious!After all, Mr. Songyang is very strict with him. Ah Yin, who loves to touch his head and kill him, can only get it when he performs particularly well!

Gui frowned, and said to Yinshi with a serious face, "How many times does Yinshi have to tell you, it's not the wig but Gui! Also, for Gao Sugi's behavior of monopolizing Teacher Songyang, as a friend, I respect you You are disappointed!"

"You two!" As he said that, he was about to pull out the wooden knife from his waist and fight to the death with his two fellow disciples.

"Okay, Yinshi, Gui, and Jinzhu." Songyang gently called his three disciples to a stop, and after successfully avoiding a tragedy of mutual cannibalism, he patted the heads of the other two awkward disciples, After harvesting two small red tomatoes, he calmly stopped.

Under Dazai Osamu's playful gaze, he calmly explained, "A large part of the reason why the teacher chooses to teach and educate people is the inspiration Dazai-san gave the teacher."

"Alas?" The three brats exclaimed at the same time, looking at Mr. Songyang who had a gentle smile on his face, and then at Osamu Dazai, who was watching the excitement and didn't think it was a big deal.

Then Gintoki gasped, looking at the two extremely similar smiling faces, he even dared to use his 2.0 eyesight as a guarantee, the curvature of the corners of Matsuyo's mouth and the man named Osamu Dazai were exactly the same when they smiled...

The dead fish eyes widened and began to convey the new discovery he had just made to the other two companions.

After the three of them winked, Yinshi, who was the backbone, coughed lightly, and said in a pretentious manner, "That's it, since you've said so, teacher..."

That's what I said, but on the evening of the second day, after this man moved out a human skeleton out of nowhere with great interest... the whole classroom exploded.

"Hey, uncle, although Ah Yin is not interested in your teaching level, I am even less interested in this kind of skull! Even if you tell me that the owner of this skeleton was a super beautiful woman in his lifetime, unless Her cock can be plump again, and her xx becomes steep, please understand the commotion of teenage boys to the beauty of female **!"

Yinshi deliberately made loud complaints to cover up his fear. Ah Yin has the highest respect for skeletons and dead people!Can you living people stop disturbing the tranquility of the dead if you have nothing to do, you will be punished by God!

"Don't worry, Yin Shi-jun, this is not a beautiful girl's asshole, how could I be so rude to a beauty?"

"Don't the samurai who died unfortunately not have the right to respect human rights? Uncle, your thoughts are very dangerous!"

"Gintoki, shut up." Takasugi Shinsuke was very embarrassed by his companion's stupidity, and asked lightly when the silver-haired curly hair tried to resist, "Is this really okay? Contradicting the teacher during class time or something... If you are caught If Teacher Songyang finds out..."

For a moment, a silver-haired curly kid who claimed to be independent so that he would not chase after Mr. Songyang every day to find candy like some little kids was instantly as quiet as a chicken. The smiling Mr. Songyang was the most terrifying!

"Then can I continue the lecture?" Looking at the only three students in the classroom, Mr. Dazai asked with a smile, waving the pointer in his hand.

"When... of course."

Although he agreed to Song Yang to become the honorary teacher of Matsushita Private School, Dazai Osamu had no interest in the youngsters with different talents in the private school after observing for a long time.

Faced with the man's arrogant pickiness, the good old man Yoshida Matsuyo smiled and gave a compromise solution, "Then Dazai-san can only teach my three personal disciples in the evening."

It can be said that it is full of sincerity from the [-] or so people in the entire private school to the current three.

"Then I will show my housekeeping skills."

Although Mr. Songyang had already greeted him in advance, he euphemistically expressed that his friend Dazai Osamu was a strange person, but... on the first day of class, he started to explain the 36 techniques of suicide with a sentence of a skeleton, is it really a man?

And why do other teachers recommend you to read the most popular and elegant Fugetsu and Uta in Kyoto nowadays, but when you come to Dazai, it directly becomes a book like "Complete Sex" that is very problematic at first glance!

"Yin Shi-jun, do you have any dissatisfaction with my teaching content?"

"This is no longer a question of satisfaction or dissatisfaction. This course was wrong from the very beginning. How can anyone open a special course just to study how to commit suicide? (╯‵ ′)╯︵┻━┻!"

"But when you are the only one who is dissatisfied, the teacher can't change all the lesson plans just because you are dissatisfied with one student." Facing the unreasonable students, Mr. Dazai's kite-colored eyes are full of interest, as if he is It's like watching a trapped animal struggling to die.

"!!"

Gintoki suddenly found that Takasugi and Katsura, who were supposed to be his allies, were sitting on chairs upright like Miyoshi students, taking notes very hard.

The battered unwillingness to face this cruel reality.

"Takasugi, wigs, what's going on with you guys!!"

"It's Gui, not a wig!" Gui, who can be said to be one of the top ten good students at Matsushita Private School, wondered why his friend was so irritable. "Since it's what the teacher is teaching, of course you have to take notes!"

"..." The silver-haired curly kid felt that sometimes he really didn't know what to say when faced with a natural wig.

With the last glimmer of hope, Gintoki looked at Takasugi, the only normal person present besides him.

"Tch." The purple-haired boy let out a sneer, and said arrogantly, "Idiot."

The man named Osamu Dazai seemed to be talking about suicide techniques, but in fact, it is not difficult to find from his speech and behavior that his familiarity with the human body has reached a terrifying level.

Shinsuke Takasugi, a talented student who is very good at drawing inferences from one example, has already thought of how to kill the enemy with the least effort and the fastest speed in actual combat from the man's description of how to commit suicide in a refreshing way.

Osamu Dazai didn't have the desire to teach anymore after being disturbed like this, so he calculated the time and found that there was still more than half an hour before the normal meal time, so he simply threw away the book and started paddling, "Okay, the next thing is Free time for questions, do you have any questions you want to ask?"

"Uncle, how did you and Teacher Songyang know each other?" Finally, he seized the opportunity to ask the most concerned question.

"You and I, Mr. Songyang, are life-and-death friends~" The lazy and elongated tone, taking into account the embarrassing discovery that the other party didn't die when we made an appointment to die for love twice, it is a life-and-death relationship in a certain sense. pay.

"Then what is the relationship between you and Teacher Songyang?"

The purple-haired boy who seemed the most indifferent couldn't help but clenched his fists under the desk at this moment, nervously waiting for a reply.

"What's the relationship..." After a deliberate pause, Mr. Dazai supported his head and said in distress, "If I really want to say, the relationship between me and Songyang has been confirmed since the first moment we met. Who will be buried in the same cemetery with me in the future."

The face is full of nostalgia. How cute Xu Jiang was at that time. Although he was a boy, he said to himself with a straight face, "Let's die together." This kind of sweet talk is really coquettish. What a good boy who can't be parried.

"He is..."

"That Dazai-san is looking for..."

"When we met for the first time, I said the most touching sweet words to me~" Looking at Songyang with light brown long hair standing at the door of the paper door, he blinked pikapika and said seductively, "I didn't Remember wrong, Songyang-san~"

"Heh, Dazai, that means you are absolutely not causing trouble?" Central Plains Zhongye, who hurried back to Earth from the alien planet when he got a weak induction, finally locked on a blue and white line after several months of traveling. The location of the fish, come and see what he heard?

Osamu Dazai: "!!"

Looking outside the door in horror, it was the smoky tone of the little man he was familiar with, looking accusingly at Yoshida Shoyang standing at the door.

"It's not my fault, I reminded you." Songyang smiled and defended himself, then turned and said to the petite but imposing orange-haired young man behind him, "Then Nakahara-san, talk to Dazai-san slowly. ?”

"Thank you so much, Mr. Songyang, for your help." The last sliver of rationality made Zhongyuan Zhong also show his calm demeanor in dealing with the port mafia in those years. help.

Although this Songyang teacher is suspected of being a man's cheating partner, but... no matter how you look at it, it's the fault of that damned mackerel.

Yoshida Shoyo thoughtfully held the hands of the students who were stunned by the accident, "Okay, Yinshi, Gui, and Jinsuke, let's go out to eat first. It's time for adults, and children should not watch it." gone."

The good guy did his best to close the paper door, preventing any sound scene in the room from leaking out from inside.

Osamu Dazai sneered, "That Chuya...you listen to my explanation."

It's such a long life, why did his little dwarf pop up by himself this time before he searched all over the world (╯‵ ′)╯︵┻━┻!