double autumn

To be honest, before I fell into the water this time, I hadn't been close to my husband for more than a year.At first, I was the one who poured out my worries about the relationship between my son and daughter to my husband, but my husband has always been puzzled about love, so I felt bored, so I stopped talking to him.But my husband was unhappy because of this, thinking that I didn't trust him, and asked me to let him know the inside story, and I thought that this request of my husband was really difficult, and it was a perfect display of his characteristics, so the two of us had to There was a big fight, and I even let out such angry words as "Don't be my brother anymore".Since then, we have been strangers, and I didn't pay much attention to the affairs of this family. I thought, "Anyway, it won't take long for me to marry a wife, have children, start a family and start a business."However, this illusion was finally shattered, and I was so hurt that I threw myself into the water.

I have seen Mr. get angry with other people quite a few times, and every time I am terrified; but when I was scolded by him, my heart was not disturbed at all.I thought, Mr. Xu Shi was too gentle to me, anger didn't look like anger, but only distressed and loving anxiety.After he scolded me and hit me, he didn't say anything else. In the end, his eyes were red, he raised his hand and slapped himself twice, knelt down in front of me, held my face and asked, "I'm sorry, does it hurt?" pain?"

His tears gradually overflowed, filled there, but could not flow down.He didn't cry, he just put his arms around me.The husband never cried and never apologized to anyone.He said sorry, I don't know what he thought, but I know that the guilt in my heart is more than him, and I should be more.

It was Mr. who rescued me.He asked me if it hurt to be hit on the face, and at the same time, asked me if it hurt to bear that kind of injury alone—he knew that I was weak by nature, and that the pain that could make people give up their lives, I couldn’t bear it, and I couldn’t bear it. Unconsolable.He hugged me, and I seemed to wake up, and I burst into tears.

I am ashamed of Mr. and grateful to him.Without him, I might have given up the idea of ​​life long ago.I am no longer interested in the affairs of men and women, but stay by my husband's side, and take care of everything else for him when he goes out to run a business.Only then did I understand the hard work that my husband took in taking care of us, and I was more determined to repay him. ——Because, most of the time, I am the only one who needs to be taken care of by my husband.

The eldest brother is like a father. I have lived by my husband since I was a child, and I am more attached to him than anyone else.My husband doesn't like his younger siblings disobeying him, and when something happens to us, he also likes to intervene, thinking it's his job.My younger brother and younger sister always felt that my husband was difficult to get close to, but I always liked to follow him with a smile on my face, watch what he was doing, and then tell him everything that happened to me.I don't have any opinions, and my husband decides everything for me; I don't have many friends, and the only few are people whom my husband knows well.I don't want to get rid of my husband and seek an independent life. Instead, I feel at ease when my husband is there.

As a girl, my younger sister is always more worried about my husband's marriage than others. Seeing that I rely on him so much, I worry about how he will take care of me when he gets married in the future.She didn't dare to tell her husband, so she discussed it with me first. She said that the aunt on the street was a matchmaker for a family in the south of the city recently. After talking about this matter, my younger sister came to ask me and took the time to mention it in front of my husband for her.I knew that woman, her father taught foreign languages ​​in my next class, and she was born like a young lady, so I told my younger sister that the husband would definitely not agree, but I still had to mention it to him .

The reason why I know that the husband will not agree to meet is because I know him so well.One of the reasons is that the husband is not good at dealing with women, and he has no interest in love, which is the main reason.Since the husband no longer wants to marry a wife, how can he waste his time meeting and chatting with a woman?And I knew very early on that our family would not add a sister-in-law.At least, it won't be a woman.

There is actually another layer to the reason why I am so sure of my little sister.Mr. was born not to love women.This is what he told me personally, and no one else knows it except me.When I was about 16 years old, Mr. said to me.He didn't hesitate or hesitate, he seemed to have accepted and affirmed this fact before telling me.The husband only trusts me, so he only tells me.I didn't tell my younger siblings either, I just silently fended off more and more matchmakers who came to say goodbye for him.I wonder if my husband would be interested in a man, but from what I've seen, maybe my husband won't even find a partner.Whenever I jokingly asked him when he would find me a sister-in-law, he would lower his face in displeasure and say, "Don't talk nonsense."

Later, the matter of my husband somehow leaked out.Mr. is young, but he has a big business, so he is well-known in the city.Once this matter was revealed, it would soon become known to everyone.Among the crowd, some were astonished, some were disgusted, and most of them were attracted by the idea of ​​Mr.Sometimes some people invite my husband to discuss business, and when he arrives, he finds out that it is a romantic place, and the waiters are all young men dressed as women, so he immediately turns black and leaves.But I don’t know why, the number of matchmakers coming to the door has not decreased but increased. The younger sister told me the reason, and I suddenly realized: these ladies actually use their husbands as “touchstones” to test their own charms, thinking that as long as they can make them fall in love with them, Then you can call yourself the beauty of the city.I don't find it ridiculous.

Although the husband didn't want to confide this matter to others before, but after this happened, he was not affected and continued to do his business.On the contrary, I was very uneasy about this. I heard idlers talking about my husband in the restaurant, such as "I don't want to pass on the family line, I am not filial to my son", so I couldn't help going forward to argue, and finally I did it. .My husband scolded me for being a fool, why bother to suffer for the prejudice of others.I said, I wanted to protect my husband, and I didn't want him to become a talking point in the mouth of such a despicable person, so I didn't say anything.

People from my family also came here. I don't say what their attitude is, but seeing their frosty faces, I knew that nothing good happened.They closed the door with their husband and talked in the hall for half a day before leaving.My siblings and I walked in and saw that Mr. was just sitting there drinking tea in silence, unable to see his emotions.I closed the door again and asked him what he talked about, but he didn't speak, and after a while, he said:

"They wanted to take the younger brother back and change his surname, but I refused. Their condition was that the four of us would sever our kinship with our family from now on, and never communicate with each other again."

He raised his head to look at me and said, "From now on, I will be the head of the Lin family. You three, if you need anything, just tell me that I can afford it."

The younger brothers and sisters understand the husband's decision, and also understand the husband's own choice.Going back to the original family is not only to hand over the younger brother to them, but also to force the husband to marry a wife and have children.My little brother is used to being free in our house, but when he goes back to his home, his hands and feet are restrained, so it must be uncomfortable.Besides, the family has been separated for many years, and the family has never asked us. If it is because of a kinship that seems to be there, it will be wronged, sir, and the brotherhood will be broken.Carrying on the family line is important to the family, but it doesn't matter to us. Why bother to stick to one surname and ruin the life of the family?

However, it was only after my siblings went back to the room to rest that I finally saw my husband relax his tense expression, showing a trace of fatigue.He called me to come to him, tilted his head and puffed on his cigarette, and asked, "Do you think I'll do this, okay? The old man in the ground, even if killed, his son..."

"Okay." I replied, and went forward to hold his hand tightly, "As long as it's your decision, there's nothing wrong with it."

He stared at me blankly, with a bitter smile on the corner of his mouth, he pulled out his hand and rubbed my head, he just said softly: "You lost me, what should you do?"

I said, "No matter what, you are my brother. No matter what you decide, I will support you."

He kept looking out the window, smiling silently, without answering.For the first time in my life I saw him question his decision.I know he is not because of the family, but because of this, our father really cut off the incense. ——None of my younger brothers and sisters were born in my father’s royal family, one has a foreign surname and the other is a woman, neither of which can be passed on from generation to generation.As for my husband and I, two sons who inherited the orthodox blood of the Lin family, one didn't like women, while the other liked women. Later, he thought about his elder brother.

I don't know how the husband found out, maybe when he called him "Sir" one time, there was a little joy in his eyes; or maybe it was a time when he deliberately touched his hand to make him aware of it?Anyway, if Mr. wants to know something, my thoughts will never escape his eyes.

Even once, I never hinted to Mr.And the reason why I can understand Mr.'s decision so much is because, in my opinion, Mr.'s affairs are not that much distressed, while mine is tens of thousands of times more difficult than Mr.'s.Men don't like women, at least people in the world understand it; but a younger brother can't escape condemnation if he has unreasonable thoughts about his elder brother.I know that such affection itself is a sin, so I never thought of making it public.At first I thought it was an illusion, so I ignored it. Later, when I woke up, I realized that I couldn't extricate myself and could only accept my fate.That was about after falling into the water and before leaving the house.My husband soon found out, but he knew that I didn't want to say anything, so he never made it clear.

In retrospect, Mr. has always taken good care of me.After he knew my crooked thoughts, he was not angry, and he still treated me the same way he treated me before.He allowed me to play with his things casually. At night, I took his coat and went back to the room secretly, but he didn't care.Even the person I beat up in the restaurant that day was said to have been half disabled by unknown thugs the next day; and the woman I was in love with and her lover seemed to have come to harass me after I fell into the water After one or two times, I never heard from them again, and I don't know which city they went to.Whatever my husband does for me, he is always quiet and doesn't say a word.I often wonder whether it is because my husband treats me so well—but I dare not dream about it, so I have never fantasized about "having a husband".

However, that is not the only thing that Mr. takes care of me the most.After the family member left that night, I stayed with him in the hall for a long time.The doors and windows were closed tightly, the siblings and servants all rested, and the husband just lit one cigarette after another without saying anything.It wasn't until the middle of the night, when I closed my eyes in a daze, that I felt my husband get up, carry me on his back like when I was a child, go to his room, and gently put me on the bed.Then, Mr. bent down, put his palm on my shoulder, lowered his head and touched my lips like a dragonfly on water.

I woke up immediately and opened my eyes. The husband's gaze was still on my face, and it was too late to look away.