almost lonely

Standing in the air with the shoebox in his arms, he sent a text message to Xu Ye with his fingers shaking: [Brother Ye, I dare not go for a gastroscope alone. ] Unexpectedly, Xu Ye called back right away.

After all, the two had been fighting coldly for so long, and Xu Ye was still a little awkward when he opened his mouth: "Where are you?" Ning Juechen's nose was sore when he heard his voice, and they hadn't spoken for a long time: "...the hospital." Ye felt that his words seemed to be full of tears, and his tone subconsciously softened: "What about now? Does it still hurt?"

It was the first time that Ning Juechen lied to Xu Ye like this, and he really lacked confidence. His voice became lower and lower, and he could hardly hear clearly: "It started to hurt last night. I didn't have lunch. The doctor said to have a gastroscopy..." Xu Ye hesitated for a moment: "I have something to do here, you can wait for me at the wonton shop outside the door."

Xu Ye arrived half an hour later, Ning Juechen thought he wasn't coming.Xu Ye saw him holding a shoebox as soon as he entered the door, and probably guessed that Ning Juechen lied and tricked him to come here.Ning Juechen stood up at a loss: "Brother Ye, I want to apologize to you!" Xu Ye frowned: "You are so talented that you dare to play tricks on me."

Ning Juechen lowered his head and pushed the shoebox over silently: "I just want to talk to you..." Xu Ye put his hands in his pockets, and he didn't have the slightest intention to sit down: "Well, I've said it now, I can go Bar."

Ning Juechen pulled his sleeve pitifully: "Brother Yi, I didn't record that." Xu Ye didn't speak, and gave him a deep look with complicated eyes.Ning Juechen argued incoherently in a low voice: "It's really not me, I just saw that post yesterday. Really, I just asked you that day, there was no premeditation, and it was not a trap. I really didn't do it, I swear !"

He still remembered the last time Xu Ye said to Lu Chengxiong and Chen Yuhong, "Don't wrong him", that was the first time that Ning Juechen was trusted and protected by others like this, the first time he knew that someone was on his side What is it like.Ning Juechen wanted to ask if you believed me, but he didn't dare.

"But this matter is my fault. If I didn't ask... Brother Ye, I know you are very angry. But you give me a chance, I will figure it out! Then you forgive me, and then we will be with you Are you okay?" He counted Xu Ye's silence, and his whole body was almost swallowed by the uneasiness and fear in his heart.

At that time, Ning Juechen just thought that the process might be a little more difficult and that it might take longer. He never thought that they would never have a chance to reconcile.

Later that week, Xu Ye didn't come to school for three days, and Ning Juechen went to his house as soon as he finished his evening self-study. There was no light at home and no one answered when he knocked on the door.Ning Juechen felt strange, even if Xu Ye was not at home, grandma should be there.

On the third day, the aunt next door opened the door and asked him what he was doing at night. Ning Juechen hurriedly apologized: "I'm sorry, I'm Xu Ye's classmate. I haven't come to school for days. May I ask if the grandparents and grandchildren of this family are not at home recently?"

The aunt looked him up and down: "The old lady is sick and hospitalized, and she hasn't been back for several days." Ning Juechen's brows twitched, and he hurriedly asked, "Do you know what's wrong with grandma?" The aunt shook her head: " I'm not very clear about this, the ambulance came to pick him up that night, you should call and ask."

Ning Juechen was in a state of confusion, and while calling Xu Ye, he ran all the way to the alley to take a taxi. His call history interface was full of Xu Ye's name from top to bottom, and three words were neatly written on the side: connected".

Ning Juechen stood at the entrance of the hospital for more than an hour, his calf was numb, the phone was finally connected, but Xu Ye did not speak.This was the first call in the past few days. Ning Juechen thought there was something wrong with the phone at first, and he pressed the receiver tightly to his ear, so Xu Ye's heavy breathing came from there.

Ning Juechen suddenly had a mixed feeling of peace of mind and anxiety: "Brother Ye, how is grandma?" Xu Ye replied briefly: "Hemorrhage, it's not good." Ning Juechen was taken aback, almost lost his grip Cell phone: "Why suddenly..."

Xu Ye's words revealed deep exhaustion: "Well, in fact, I have always had high blood pressure." Ning Juechen entered the door and walked quickly to the elevator: "Brother Yi, what floor are you on? I'm in the hospital and I'll come to look for it... "

Xu Ye interrupted before he finished speaking: "Don't come." Ning Juechen froze on the elevator button with a trembling hand: "Didn't we talk on Saturday? Don't be angry, okay?" ?”

"Well, Saturday. Do you still remember that you lied to me to have a gastroscopy on Saturday, and I said that I would be late because of something? Grandma started to have a headache at noon that day. I couldn't go away, but she let you I hurried to the hospital to accompany you, and said she could just lie down and rest by herself. Later, when I got home, I saw..." Xu Ye spoke like that for the first time, his voice was as soft as half a delicate cobweb trembling in the corner of the wall, "Chenchen, I know that this matter is not your fault and has nothing to do with you, but I'm sorry now...I really don't want to see you now."

Ning Juechen couldn't speak a word as if his mouth and nose were being pinched suddenly, why could he understand every word, but couldn't understand it together.He licked his dry lips, and after a while he found his voice with difficulty: "Brother Yi..."

Ning Juechen thought he should apologize first, but Xu Ye never liked hearing him say sorry, he didn't know what else to say. "It's late, you go back early."

Xu Ye said decisive words in the most ordinary tone.Ning Juechen listened to the hurried tone after the phone was hung up, his heart suddenly dripped with blood as if a piece had been cut off.

The bus was out of service at night, and Ning Juechen was walking home from the hospital in a daze, when it suddenly started raining on the road.It was already eleven o'clock at home, and Chen Yuhong opened the door for him: "Where are you going after school every day? It's getting later every day! Don't even look at what time it is!"

Ning Juechen took off his coat and rolled it into a ball and hugged it tightly in his hands, fearing that the rain would drip and stain the floor: "I'm sorry, it won't happen in the future."

Lu Juelan was reciting English, Ning Juechen pushed the door in and called him softly: "Brother." Lu Juelan ignored him, Ning Juechen walked to him and said again: "Brother..."

Lu Juelan frowned, and turned to look at him irritably: "What?" Ning Juechen started to twist his fingers again when he was nervous, until his fingers turned white: "Brother, can you go and see Xu Xun tomorrow?" Ye, grandma is sick and hospitalized, and he is alone in the hospital."

Lu Juelan watched Ning Juechen's calm expression disintegrate little by little, her eye sockets gradually turned scarlet red, the raindrops dripped down from the tips of her hair, and mixed with the gushing tears exaggeratedly smeared her face.This was the first time Ning Juechen cried in front of Lu Juelan, and the first time he dared to ask him, or more precisely, it should be begging.

He was very afraid that Lu Juelan would refuse. After the recording incident, the relationship between Xu Ye and Lu Juelan was completely over, and Lu Juelan blocked Xu Ye's calls.

For the first time, Ning Juechen felt that God had treated him too badly and unfairly.During the years of living with his father, the day when he knew that he had a twin brother who was living happily, and the days when he came to Jingcheng and forced his way into Lu's house like a pebble that didn't fit in, Ning Juechen never dared to have the slightest bit of love. This kind of thought, he always told himself to comfort himself: as long as you are obedient and don't make mistakes, everything will be fine.

——Look, he just did a little bad thing, told a little lie, and God can't wait to give him some punishment.

He had no choice but to return Xu Ye to Lu Juelan.

After that day, Ning Juechen seemed to turn back to the transparent and insignificant bystander and outsider at the beginning.He could only silently watch Lu Juelan accompany Xu Ye to the hospital every day, and then waited for Lu Juelan to come back at home, asking how his grandma was doing today.Xu Ye, is he okay?

Xu Ye came to the school several times intermittently, his face became thinner, his chin became sharper, and he was not energetic. Ning Juechen looked so uncomfortable, and his heart ached.On Xu Ye's birthday, he specially cooked a crucian carp soup according to the secret recipe taught by his grandmother, put it warm in a thermos bucket, and begged Lu Juelan to bring it to Xu Ye.In the evening Lu Juelan took it back as it was without even opening the lid.

More than a month has passed, and grandma has not woken up. Ning Juechen heard from Lu Juelan that her lungs were infected again a few days ago, and the situation is very critical.Ning Juechen secretly went to the hospital to see Xu Ye, Xu Ye was eating in the hospital cafeteria, and put down his chopsticks after only two mouthfuls of plain rice.

A few days later, Xu Ye's parents, who had been away from home for almost three years, finally came back, and signed the agreement to give up treatment the next day. Ning Juechen couldn't imagine Xu Ye's feelings.That day Lu Juelan came home from the hospital very early, Xu Ye said that he wanted to be alone and refused to let him accompany him.

On the day of the funeral, Xu Yi’s family built a big shed with red, white and blue plastic sheets, and the band whimpered and played the suona hard in the shed.Grandma was usually very popular, and neighbors came to mourn her. Xu Yi's parents wore white flowers on their chests and greeted strange neighbors.

Xu Ye moved the bench and sat at the door with Lu Juelan stacking ingots all morning. It was the first time Ning Juechen saw Xu Ye showing such a serious and focused expression, as if other things had nothing to do with him except for folding the ingots in his hand.

After folding some, he carried them to the side of the cornucopia, grabbed them one by one and threw them into the flames, the smoke made his eyes turn red little by little: "I folded too slowly, it was too late..." Lu Juelan stood beside him : "It's too late, isn't there me?"

As soon as the golden ingot fell into the flames, it burned and shrank like a withered flower, and instantly turned into a small ball of black ashes.

Ning Juechen stood outside the shed and watched from afar.his dad