cloud fall wind smoke

"The third week of the internship, the main arrangements: review, take part in various end-of-class assessments..." I carefully recorded the plan for this week explained by the factory master in my notebook.

The sun outside the window is good, and it is very warm on my body, and the cold seems to have completely left me.

"Buzz..." the phone in his pocket vibrated suddenly, and a new short message was received.

It was from Fengli, "Call me back when you have time, I have something to tell you."

"I'm in class. If it's convenient, you can leave a text message." I quickly replied.

After a long time, he came back with a message, "Let's talk on the phone, I can't tell you in text messages. You are busy first."

oh?What could it be?Pineapple's tone was weird, and I was a little curious.

"whisper--"

As soon as the get out of class bell rang, I hurried out of the classroom, found a relatively quiet place, and skillfully dialed Fengli's number.

"Hello! What do you want from me?" I closed my eyes slightly and stretched myself.

"Well, how should I put it? This matter..." Fengli spoke slowly today, not like the him I knew.

"What is it, is it so difficult to speak? You can just say it directly." I felt that he was a little squeaky.

"Then let me tell you, you asked me to help you get the rank of Shixun, right?"

"Yes."

"Then, since I have nothing to do this morning, I just clicked on your Shixun mailbox."

"And then?"

"Then, I saw that you had a lot of correspondence with a mailbox signed by blackwhite. At first, I was just curious, so I opened it casually, and then found that the words in the letter were ambiguous, as if two people were in love. I want to ask You, who is this blackwhite?" Feng Li's tone suddenly became very heavy, even on the phone, she could be heard more or less.

"Haha, why did I think it happened, this blackwhite, guess what?" I said this at the time, trying to ease the atmosphere.

"I don't want to guess about this kind of thing. I want you to tell me yourself. Are you dating someone else when you're dating me?" Fengli's tone suddenly became very serious.

"Well, this blackwhite is actually..." Seeing him like this, I didn't want him to be in a hurry, so I explained truthfully, "In fact, it is the mailbox of my newsletter."

"Shouldn't the email address of Shixun be the same as your Shixun account?" Fengli asked seriously.

"Generally speaking, yes, but now we can apply for a special name for our mailbox. The special name and account name are linked to the same mailbox." I explained patiently.

"How can I believe what you said is true?" Fengli didn't seem to believe what I said.

"You can use my mailbox to send me an email. Note that when you choose the sender, there is an option. You can choose a special name to sign it." I explained in detail.

"Wait, don't hang up, I'll try it." After speaking, I heard the sound of typing on the keyboard on the other end of the phone.

……

"Well...it seems to be true." Fengli's tone was much better than before, not so gloomy.

"It seems like this." I also breathed a sigh of relief.

"Then why do you write so many letters like this to yourself? You know, I'm almost dying of anger. The words are so ambiguous. I can imagine what the tone would be if I said it myself." Pineapple seemed to hold back The grievances in my stomach can finally be vented.

"Well, I didn't know you at that time, but everyone should long for someone who likes themselves. When I have nothing to do, I just like to write and write. Just like that, by chance, I found that writing a letter to myself, and then receiving and reading it, even if it was written to myself, felt very different." I shared my feelings with Fengli frankly.

"Then you don't indicate that you wrote it for yourself." Fengli muttered softly.

"Oh, I signed the letter in a different mailbox just to create the feeling that it was written by another person. How could I still sign my name?" There is a lot of jealousy.

"I don't know, so..." Fengli cleared her throat, but then paused.

"So what?" I thought, now that the matter has been talked about, there is nothing more to say.

"So, when I was angry, I thought you were with someone else...so...so I deleted those emails." Fengli finished the sentence somewhat incoherently.

"What?!" My brain went blank for a moment, and I paused for a while, "Do you know how long I have written those things? I have not deleted them, and I am reluctant to delete them, because I think they can record those precious emotions, and I will recall them later It was a good time waking up.”

"I'm sorry, I don't know what they mean to you. I was confused at the time, and my brain got hot, so..." This was the first time I heard a serious sorry from Pineapple's mouth.

"But they have been deleted." An inexplicable sadness welled up in my heart.

"But you already have me now, and we can communicate and write to each other in the future." Fengli didn't seem to expect that things would turn out like this, from the initial questioning of the teacher to the current apology.

"With you, do I have to delete the past?" When I wanted to say something more, the class bell rang again, "Start again, even one of them is not the same as before, let alone they have been lost. I It's time for class, so be it."

Fengli wanted to say something else, but I had already hung up the phone.

I sat back in the classroom with a complicated mood. There were anger, sadness, reluctance, and hatred in my heart. Every emotion seemed to be magnified aimlessly.But I don't know why, but the love is decreasing a little bit.To be precise, it is a good impression of pineapples.

In the following day, the whole person became distracted, and he kept thinking about what happened in his head.I didn't even answer Fengli's call.He sent a lot of text messages apologizing, and when I was very late, I replied one, the content was probably that I wanted to be alone, please don't contact me for the time being.

At noon the next day, I practiced in the factory.

"Your complexion doesn't look very good, are you okay?" The boss asked with concern, stroking my shoulder.

"Oh, I'm fine." I came back to my senses and found that it was already lunch time.

"If you're not feeling well, we'll bring you food." The boss said again.

"Ha, it's okay, just go eat together." I tried my best to squeeze out a smile.

After lunch, I sat alone in the open space in front of the building basking in the sun, the sun is still warm.I raised my head and squinted my eyes to look at the sun. For a moment, I seemed to have the illusion of returning to high school, because in the afternoon at that time, I also liked to sit on the school playground and bask in the sun.

The sun never seems to change, but I... Suddenly, I seem to understand.

The reason I'm unhappy right now is because I've gone from one being free to being two connected.When two people are together, if they rashly break each other's "privacy", the problem they will face later may be mutual "trust".

——Unfinished, to be continued——