【Taizhong】Fake Orthopedics

*BGM: CIKI-??

I really slept through the winter solstice like this.During this period, I charged my mobile phone twice and turned on it twice, but there was no news about Osamu Dazai, and he never came to the beach villa again, just like the story about the turtle shell that he squatted on the beach and told me when it was slightly bright in the early morning. , is another dream in my sleeping dream.The first time I turned on my mobile phone was because I had to confirm the balance in my account, even though I clearly knew that just buying instant noodles and water and other daily necessities would not cost much.

My mother called me a few times, but she didn't answer because my phone was out of battery and turned off. She then left me messages by email and text message. She didn't mention that time when Osamu Dazai ran away from home and stayed here overnight. Maybe Osamu Dazai's eloquent tongue has already deceived the world, but I'm not interested in knowing.At first, my mother simply asked me how I was doing and whether I had enough money, and then she became sympathetic to me, guessing that I might not be able to eat well, and asked me to pay attention to my body, like a good mother's tone.But I don't know how much of these words are sincere and how much is false.

Maybe it's because I have been burying myself in the quilt all the time, but I haven't actually checked the condition of my body carefully, because after falling asleep, all consciousness will leave my body, leaving me sinking and floating in nothingness .The home decoration of this seaside villa is really beautiful. Even if it was a house more than ten years ago, the interior design is not outdated now, but because it is only used as a residence for vacation, of course there is no scale, full-length mirror There is only one side in the master bedroom.

That full-length mirror was bought by my mother five years ago. In order to take selfies on vacation at the seaside, she needs a full-length mirror to check whether her outfits are fashionable and appropriate. Obviously, she basically doesn’t have any friends of the same age, even if she wants to show off. She can go anywhere, her preservation is just for her father's face, and she knows that her father doesn't often take her to some public occasions.She was still beautiful, but already a dry woman.

I took off the summer clothes I was still wearing, threw them on the floor of the master bedroom, and looked in the mirror.The person in the mirror is a monster, with fluffy and disheveled hair. Even the platycodon grandiflora used as organic fertilizer in the wheat field may be more shiny than this. The legs and cheeks are swollen, but the flesh covering the ribs is sunken, outlining the The ribs become a series of protruding horizontal ribs.So ugly.I also want to know the reason for this result. I sleep like this and only rely on instant noodles to fill my stomach. I can’t keep up with my nutrition. It’s normal to become like this, at least it’s better than the state of those drug addicts I’ve seen But it was much better, after all, I was just lethargic.

The second time I turned on the phone, I received a letter from an unexpected person, from Mr. Mori.He asked me how my life is now after I moved. If I have time, I can go to his house to eat cakes before Christmas. He said that he was making strawberry cream mille-feuille cake for Alice recently, and he finally became proficient after doing it several times. His The email was attached with a photo. I clicked on it and saw that there was white cream and red strawberry slices sandwiched in the sliced ​​mille-feuille cake. It seemed that I could taste the sweetness just from the color of the photo.

I was startled, for this enthusiastic neighbor, before I left in a hurry, I didn’t actually thank him for his care during that time. It was not just a matter of impoliteness. I am also afraid of meeting Mr. Mori again. I am afraid that he will mention the meeting with Osamu Dazai in the coffee shop that night. Is it a coincidence, or is it a trick of Osamu Dazai? I dare not think, I have already collapsed once. This dangling half-life is at stake, and I definitely can't bear it again.I know where my limit is.

The day of the winter solstice was the third time I turned on my mobile phone, and the charging cable was connected to the mobile phone. I curled up on the sofa in the living room, waiting for the instant noodles to soak for enough time, and at the same time waiting for the mobile phone to turn on, all waiting and emptying.After soaking the noodles, the mobile phone has not been turned on. I can only use a fork to stir the light yellow and curly noodles like corn silk in the cup, and stuff them into my mouth tastelessly. Instant noodles, when the wreckage was thrown into the trash can, the phone was finally charged enough to be turned on, the screen lit up, revealing a small phone brand logo, and after a while, the unlock interface popped up on the main screen ——The calendar shows that today is December 21, the winter solstice this year.

The home page of the weather app on my mobile phone still shows the weather in Yokohama, which is a little far away from here, and the natural weather will not be exactly the same. It is cloudy here, light rain there, and strong wind.An astonishing number of missed call notifications spewed out instantly in the next second, as if a hot spring eye had been unintentionally dug out.

It’s my mother’s call. Seeing that I didn’t answer, she continued to call. She called every 2 minutes. The earliest call was half an hour ago. It seemed that she had encountered some big event that she couldn’t handle and had to contact me. The same impatient, what could it be? I can think of something that would make my mother so nervous. It should be related to my father, but I can’t think of what it is. It may be due to malnutrition. My mind can't move a bit.

I was racking my brains to think about it, when my mother's persistent next call came again, I picked it up, and heard her sobbing on the other end of the phone, intermittently, but never stopped, I have always commented on my mother as a tough person Woman, even when she found out about the adultery between his son and stepson, she was never so moved, and she was extremely calm when she made a deal with me. I absolutely admire her on this point.I've lived so long that I can't do this.But now she was crying into tears, as if a brick was pulled out of the load-bearing wall, causing the whole thing to collapse.

She cried for about 20 minutes, and I didn't hang up the phone, because I knew she couldn't let me just listen to her cry on the phone for no reason, that would be too hypocritical, and she would not allow it Such a gaffe.She collected her emotions and was finally able to speak complete sentences. She said that when her younger brother was going to school this morning, he collided with an unstopped tram door on the road. Fortunately, he survived. The biggest injury was the fracture of his right hand. The other places are all minor injuries, which are already miracles among miracles.

But she didn't know until now that her younger brother had taken an overdose of sleeping pills for a long time. She and Osamu Dazai lived under the same roof, and she took care of his daily life. She seemed to be concerned about Osamu Dazai. She didn't know anything, and what made her even more unacceptable was that after her father found out about this, he didn't even have words to blame her, he just quietly said I know, the hospital where Osamu Dazai was sent to after the accident happened to be well known to her father He greeted the doctor and colleagues of the dean, and arranged an inpatient bed for Osamu Dazai.Her father's attitude towards her mother was not bad, but perhaps it was because of the double impact that her mother could no longer adjust herself. She felt guilty that her father was implying her identity as a "mother" by not blaming her. It's like disqualification.

The orthopedic doctor who treated Dazai Zhi used a plaster board to reinforce him after the surgery to connect the broken bones. Obviously, the whole process should have been excruciatingly painful, but Dazai Zhi did not utter a muffled groan.

The doctor asked his mother about some related matters before explaining the situation to her. The side effects of taking a large amount of sleeping pills will cause his physical function and various desires to decline, and his reaction speed will slow down. If it is because of a trance, the reality The feeling is distorted, and it is of course possible to crash into the side wall of the tram from there, but the doctor said another dogmatic guess: Osamu Dazai may have a tendency to commit suicide.

I still didn't speak when I heard this, only my mother's sobbing voice and my breathing on the phone.It seemed to be an overly complicated chess game. My mother was very skilled at chess, but she was so embarrassingly defeated by the ups and downs. Listen to the tone she used to beg.

"Chuya, you should move back in."

"You save him, save me too."

I thought to myself, I will save Osamu Dazai, and I will save you, so who will save me?

But his heart softened, and he let out a soft "hmm".

When I came here, I groped my way and found the villa after stumbling, but when I returned to Yokohama, my father drove a special car to pick me up.I recalled carefully, and found that I hadn’t talked face-to-face with my father for about half a year. He threw my suitcase into the trunk, sat back in the driver’s seat, and let me sit in the passenger seat next to him. .My father was driving a radio station in the car, probably some unpopular music station, playing some hypnotic piano jazz music, and I was a little sleepy again.

"Thin." My father said to me.

I knew that he was not reprimanding me, but simply expressing the facts he observed. I nodded and put my head on the window glass. When I arrived here, it started to rain. I guess my mother didn’t tell my father. Maybe my father just thought that I also cared about my younger brother who had a broken bone. I was in a hurry to visit the hospital. It’s not easy to book a taxi here. When I arrived in Yokohama, he happened to be resting, or maybe my father felt that he should also maintain the father-son relationship with his eldest son. In short, he did come to pick me up in person.

In fact, Osamu Dazai didn’t need to stay in the hospital for many days. He could be discharged after the operation and plaster cast. However, because he suspected the possibility of a concussion, he stayed in the hospital for observation for a day to be on the safe side. When my father and I arrived at the hospital, he I was already preparing to be discharged from the hospital. On the small table next to the hospital bed was a plate of sliced ​​apples, cut into rabbit ears. I liked eating them when I was a child. I don’t know when I have never eaten an apple peeled by my mother.

Osamu Dazai was indeed covered in cuts and bruises. Except for the plaster cast on his right arm, he was also covered with medical bandages and large band-aids all over his body. The abrasions may heal quickly, but the plaster cast on his hand is probably not enough. It took two or three months to take it off. I was not at the scene of his accident, so I don’t know what happened at that time. I just listened to my mother’s description. He was indeed lucky to get this life back. Nor did he accompany him to school. Who knows what he did and what was going on in his mind at that moment.

After being discharged from the hospital, Osamu Dazai did not go back to his own room. After his father had dinner at home, he had to go back to the hospital to work the night shift. 10 minutes after he drove away from home, another person rang the doorbell of our house, probably Osamu Dazai's classmates said they were here to give him notes and exercises from the two days of class. They were talking through the open door, and the cold winter wind was blowing into the house.

I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been sleepy for too long, and I’ve become more and more chilly. If I open the window, I’ll wear two more down jackets, curling myself up into a ball that’s not easy to leak heat.I closed the door of the room, but it didn't last long. My mother took advantage of the time when Dazai was talking downstairs and moved all of Dazai's personal belongings into my room.One trip after another is not too tiring.

I despise this behavior of doves occupying the magpie's nest, but I can't say anything to resist. What can I resist, Osamu Dazai is now a tortoise that is about to sink into the sea, I have to get him out of the water even if I can't swim Pick it up and throw it ashore to let him live. My dream of dying together is just my dream. I don't want those dreams to become reality.

What's more, the reality is not as beautiful as the dream, no matter what, it is a mess, and even using a toner to forcibly cover up the dirt can't succeed.

The last thing that was brought in was Osamu Dazai’s schoolbag. I knew that there was a lot of medicine in it. I don’t know how many medicines he took, how many times he went to the pharmacy or It is a clinic.He is a real patient now, his right forearm is fixed in plaster, and he has been injured for a hundred days. His dominant hand should be his right hand, and I don't know how he will do his homework again.But I don't need to worry about this, he is Osamu Dazai, and his methods and means are always much more than I thought.

Osamu Dazai soon went upstairs with the notes and homework sent by his classmates. My mother brought a hot water basin and whispered to me that my brother was still wearing a plaster cast on his neck. He can't take a shower, and it's troublesome to take a bath. Let me wipe him with a hot towel.While doing these things, a vague realization popped up in my head, I am like a slave like this.

I wiped his back with the hot towel in my hand. His back is very white, probably because he doesn’t see the sun often. In fact, his whole body is very fair. After adding the big and small wounds, the wounds are bleeding. His complexion became even whiter with traces, sinful and beautiful. I looked at his wounds and found that I felt a little refreshed. I don't know if it was because of his injuries or because of his injuries. Quiet and lovable about it.He is a sick man, I should treat him better.I so hypnotized myself.

Osamu Dazai didn't speak, just let me wipe his body with a towel. The temperature of the towel was not too low, and his fair skin was slightly red. After I wiped his back and chest, I squatted down. Just as he was about to untie his belt, he finally came to his senses.

I raised my head and found that Osamu Dazai was looking at me. He also had a scratch on his right brow bone, and on the edge of his lower eyelid. His right eye was completely covered by a bandage, and he stared down with only one eye. Looking at me, I was suddenly a little bored, I put down the towel, threw it in the hot water basin, and let the towel be soaked in hot water.

"What do you want, I really don't understand you, Dazai."

Osamu Dazai stretched out his left hand and pulled me up, my knee hit the table leg, the knee jerk reaction made the whole leg unable to exert strength for a short time, and I had to fall down on his lap, and he was able to kiss me lips.He seemed a little frustrated, and maybe it was an unreal weakness caused by the pain.

He pressed against my forehead, whispering his only request.

"As I said, all I want is you, brother."

*The dry woman refers to "Gone with the Wind".