【Taizhong】Fake Orthopedics

*BGM: Soda Green-I miss you so much

I felt cold, so I put the quilt on my body like a coat, and moved slowly to the gate of the villa like a cumbersome bear. The bright light was not so bright that you could not see your fingers. There was a second knock on the door. The door of this house is not equipped with peepholes, and there is no such advanced equipment as monitoring outside the door. It is impossible to have relatives and friends of our family for a kilometer, so I dare not open the door hastily, I just asked who it is through the crack of the door.

Fortunately, the gate of this villa is not so thick, and people outside should be able to hear me clearly when I speak indoors, so the visitor answered me with a dull, youthful voice.Osamu Dazai said from the other side of the door, "It's me."

I even suspected that I hadn't fully woken up, so I reached out and pulled the quilt on my body, but the quilt was very heavy, and because I always kicked the quilt this way or that, or pressed it under my body, or caught it between my legs when I fell asleep. , the center of gravity of the quilt in the quilt cover has also become very strange. It could have been hung on my shoulders properly, but after such a pull, it fell to the ground instead. Willingness, folded the quilt in half, hugged him in his arms, and used him as a cushioning airbag, so that I could press him down, leaning forward against the door panel, so that the sound from the other side of the door and the outside sounded louder. came into my ears clearly.

How did you come here?I asked, but he didn't answer me, so I asked the second question - what are you doing here?But he still didn't answer me, so I finally had to sigh and tell him: You shouldn't be here.Osamu Dazai deliberately ignored my first two questions, because he didn't finally speak until he heard my last sentence. He said that he couldn't sleep.His voice was muffled and hoarse, and I don't know if it was because I was listening to him through the door, or because he was in poor physical condition.

Osamu Dazai is not a person who is willing to show weakness, this is true in front of others, especially in front of me, if he is not five years younger than me, I guess he would like to compare me in everything to be happy.So I knew it when I heard his voice. He probably didn't lie to me when he said that. He really couldn't sleep.I also thought of the large number of pill boxes I saw when I opened his schoolbag after he fell asleep in the hotel that day, and I subconsciously thought of the worst conclusion: just taking Valium tablets may not be effective for him.Osamu Dazai's spirit was as tense as a string made of polylactide that could not be easily broken. The toughness was so strong that it was difficult for him to break down even once. Pushed into a dead end.

But I still don't want to open the door.Even if he ends up on a dead end, what does it have to do with me? I am a mud bodhisattva and I can't save myself. I have already struggled enough to keep my own life.I thought this way willfully, and heard him say outside again: If you don't open the door, I will tell Dad.

Osamu Dazai seldom utters such naive words. I know he doesn't like to make fuss about his father. Rather, he and I may be on the same side in this regard. I don't feel how much he treats his father. If I stand in his position, I may not even be able to speak nicely to my father. After all, I think I have a clear love and hate.

I snorted coldly, sneered at him, and said, "What did you tell father? You said that you skipped your cram school, and you might skip Monday's school class. You ran away from home, worrying your mother, embarrassing your mother, and insisted on running here." Do you want to blow the sea breeze?" To be honest, speaking like this feels very refreshing, as if embarrassing him is my innate mission, and I feel that my tired body from long sleep has become light I got up, and I continued: "Or do you want to accuse me, saying that I made you skip class, I made you run away from home, and I made you embarrass your mother? If you want to tell your father that, just tell him that." Just say that I told you to do this!" My speech speed was probably a little fast, and my voice became high. When I heard the silence outside the door, I sneered again and threw the quilt on the floor. I stuck myself on the door panel and said this retaliatoryly: "It's still not difficult for you to say that you dare not push all these things on me. As long as you say so, you can continue Isn’t it good to be your good boy, the excellent son in the eyes of your parents? Just go ahead and talk about it. Blame it, and lose something.” When I said this, I exhaled the stale air in my chest, and talked to him with a smile.

"Now I have nothing more to lose."

The other side of the villa door was silent for a while, and I moved the corners of my mouth silently.I don’t know if Osamu Dazai was aroused by my words, which made his already low mood, but in short, this silence was within my expectation, so I didn’t feel bored, and even a little happy. I hate Osamu Dazai's appearance of being in control of everything and strategizing. If I can stimulate him, I will definitely feel a little proud. Even if the price is my own suffering, it doesn't matter, I am already ready to bear all the consequences.However, my pride only existed for a very short time, and it was brutally strangled by his silent response, and I died tragically.

"There's more. Chuya."

"If you don't open the door, you will lose me."

This is the aggressive method.I knew it the first moment I heard his words, and I knew he wouldn't do what he said.His ability to prescribe the right medicine is astonishing, no matter what kind of game it is, it will always end with me admitting defeat.I knew he was aggressive, and he knew he was betting on my reaction.I can't afford to bet.I glanced at the crooked and scattered quilt on the floor, and a corner of the quilt overflowed from the quilt cover.Failed quilt.I seem to be this quilt.When I thought of this, I finally lowered my hand, pressed on the doorknob, and pressed down gently.

The second the door opened, I saw Osamu Dazai's eyes curled up. His eyes were smiling, and I was sure that I would open the door for him, and at the same time, I would admit the fact that I didn't want to lose him.

It's really useless, me.

Osamu Dazai didn't bring anything, he was wearing light clothes, and he probably took several buses to come here after the cram school on the weekend. Although I found out the specific location of the house after groping all the way, but It is estimated that Dazai Osamu may have memorized the address here long ago, and he will not get lost if he comes here. I found a large pajamas for him to wear after taking a shower. Maybe it was because I was asleep all the time. After changing clothes, most of the clothes in the suitcase are neatly folded and clean, and the same is true for the pajamas worn by Osamu Dazai, but when worn on him, it changed from a mid-length T-shirt to an ordinary one. The short T-shirt I wore couldn't cover my long legs. Of course, it was impossible for me to have pants that fit him in my clothes. Osamu Dazai had to wear the pants he had when he came.

Before I even said anything, he had already moved my quilt that fell on the floor, dusted it off, and put it back on the bed in the guest room where I slept, and he lay down in the quilt by himself. , and no matter what I said—in fact, I didn’t say anything, he even ran all the way to the beach because of insomnia, even if I told him to go to the second bedroom, he was determined not to go Yes, why should I bother.What's more, I'm sleepy again. I've been drowsy for a long time. It takes only 3 minutes to lie down and fall asleep.

It's very weird. In the past, Osamu Dazai and I slept on the bed, and it was impossible to just sleep, but this time it was really just sleeping under the quilt.Osamu Dazai didn’t even take out his cell phone, and mine was left on the bedside table for a long time without being touched, it was even covered with dust, the charging cable was not plugged in, and the phone was turned off long ago without power, I don’t know the exact time, I just I can roughly estimate that it will be around seven or eight o'clock in the evening when I go to sleep.Osamu Dazai didn't take any medicine, and I didn't even pour water for him. He lay down and writhed a few times. After I also fell asleep under the covers, he put his head on my back intentionally or unintentionally.I didn't dare to move, and let him resist, and it didn't take long to feel that his breathing became even, and he didn't sleep very deeply. Once I moved, Osamu Dazai would use a nasal voice to express his doubts in a daze .This is probably what he really looks like when he sleeps, off drugs.

When I opened my eyes again, it was still dark, and Osamu Dazai had already woken up. He didn’t come out of the bed, as if he was waiting for me to open his eyes, and then asked me if I had anything to eat, saying that he was a little hungry.This situation is somewhat familiar to me, and he did something similar when he first came to my apartment.I said there are only instant noodles, and Osamu Dazai nodded, meaning that instant noodles are also fine, as long as you have something to eat.Rinse the instant noodles with boiling water and wait for 3 minutes before eating.In the past, I didn't feel hungry, but when I watched him eat noodles, I felt empty in my stomach, so I also opened a box of instant noodles, soaked them and ate them with the plastic fork that came with it.

In the humid and warm weather, even in the early morning before dawn, eating this kind of hot soup can make people sweat.After eating and drinking the empty noodle soup box, I threw it into the trash can, and I tied the mouth of the trash bag tightly. Then I told Osamu Dazai to go back to Yokohama. There is still time to go to class on Monday morning, so I took a taxi. I will give him the money.Osamu Dazai finally stopped being stubborn now. He changed back to his original jacket and the same pair of trousers, so he didn’t need to take them off. I suspect that he had planned to come here long before I asked him to come here. Now when he was leaving, he told me directly at what time there was a train passing through Yokohama at the station, so I just had to catch that train, and I didn’t need to take a taxi.I said I would send him away, but he didn't refuse.

When I found the villa by myself, I changed the route and took the bus. Because I couldn't figure out the way, I backed up several buses, and I almost couldn't find the location of the villa.Osamu Dazai and I walked out of the gate of the villa together, and told me that walking along the coastline for about half an hour from here can actually reach the train station. There is no need to reverse the bus, and the walking time is actually even shorter.I didn't know this, since he knew the way, I just followed him.

There are trails built along the coastline, which are stone slabs and cement roads, specially for people to walk. Osamu Dazai is not good at walking, so he insists on walking on the beach along the edge of the waves.I was wearing flip flops, even if they were soaked by the seawater washed ashore, it wouldn’t bother me, they would dry completely after an hour, but Osamu Dazai was wearing sneakers, I reminded him that the shoes would get wet, I don’t know if he listened or not, because he kept moving forward with a distance of one person in front of me. I was afraid that the sea breeze would blow away what I said, but after a while, he turned back and came back to talk to me. Say nothing.

"I just want to walk on the beach with you." Osamu Dazai stopped, and while he was saying this, he seemed to have discovered something novel, squatted down, and reached out to touch the sand on the beach.

I stood a step behind him, waiting for him to say something.The sky is brighter, but the overall is still a gradient of cobalt blue and indigo. I know it is almost dawn-I have seen the sea at sunset many times, but I have never seen the sun rise once.He fiddled with the sand, and his clean fingers were also stained by the wet sand. He dug out a Baker from it, perhaps because it was compared with the dark camel color of the wet sand, or because it was handled by Osamu Dazai. On his finger, the surface of the shell looked particularly dazzling and transparent, as if the value of the whole shell was not the content inside, but the two outer shells.Osamu Dazai held the shell in his palm and told me about a dream he had before.

In the dream, there was a little turtle with short hands and not very strong swimmers. He found a shell on the beach and wanted to take the shell home, but when he swam into the sea, he found that because he was holding the shell, I can't stretch my hands and feet, and I can't swim.Then he has only two options left, one is to give up the shell and go home alone, and the other is to embrace the shell and be willing to drown because of this shell.

Which one did he choose in the end?I asked Osamu Dazai.

He chose the latter.Dazai Osamu did not look up at me as he said this, but continued to look at the shell, as if he was recalling his dream, or maybe the current scene is also like a dream to him.He hugged the shell, moved slowly, and finally sank into the bottom of the sea, but he didn't regret it, because he really liked that shell.

Osamu Dazai raised his head and looked at me, he said to me.

"Zhongye, I am the turtle in my dream."

"Can you give me a hug?"

As he said this, the halo in his eyes seemed to be trembling in a trance, he begged me so much, without his strategizing, without his prescribing the right medicine, he just simply stated his wish to me.

I didn't answer him, just lowered my body and hugged my dear brother tightly from behind.

Osamu Dazai's dream and Nakahara Chuya's dream are similar in this section about drowning in the sea.