【Taizhong】Fake Orthopedics

The bed in the bedroom at home is a single bed, and the horizontal distance is only 1.2 meters. Although it is not impossible to squeeze two men, there is no room for turning over.I am used to sleeping on my side on weekdays, which can be regarded as saving space, but most of the time I will subconsciously face the outside, and I probably can’t do this tonight, because if I face the outside as before, I will be face to face with Osamu Dazai If you fall asleep, you will definitely not be able to fall asleep.That being said, even if I face the wall and force myself to close my eyes, I can't ignore Osamu Dazai who is almost clinging to me behind me. His presence will definitely affect me and make me unable to sleep.In this case, facing the wall just makes me more depressed.

Osamu Dazai is really sick.I knew this a long time ago, but it's just nonsense that is repeated over and over again, and the tongue is almost chewed to pieces.

When my mother was cleaning the bowls and chopsticks in the sink downstairs, the hot water in the bathroom happened to be almost full.There are two bathrooms in the house, one on the first floor, at the other end of the stairs, and one on the second floor, where Osamu Dazai and I have our bedrooms.My father doesn't like to take a bath. It has always been like this. I guess it may be because of the influence he has been working in the hospital for many years. My father is not a complete clean freak, but he thinks that the flow of the shower is different from a still tank of water. The water is cleaner.Mother wiped her hands clean, called Osamu Dazai's name downstairs, let him take a bath in the bathroom first, and wait for him to finish using the bathroom before changing to me.The door of my room was open, and if I listened carefully, I could hear Osamu Dazai and his mother talking downstairs.I heard Osamu Dazai begging his mother in a coquettish tone, saying that he was under a lot of pressure for the foreign language exam next month, and that my brother finally came back tonight, and wanted to sleep with him after a long absence. When you relieve stress, you are reminded of the time when you were a child and your brother slept in the same bed at the beach house.I thought to myself, with Osamu Dazai's acting skills, even if he was at the bottom of the list in his studies, he wouldn't worry about not being able to find a job. After all, even a shrewd and sensitive woman like my mother would be fooled by him, so I believed him. I was talking nonsense, and I was even worried that he would sleep on my narrow bed, what should I do if I turned over in the middle of the night and fell off and got hurt.

"It's okay, brother doesn't always sleep well."

Listening to his answer on the second floor, I can imagine that Osamu Dazai is smiling and perfunctory to his mother at the moment, and the conversation soon disappears. It is probably Osamu Dazai who has entered the bathroom. Before I can react, The mother had already gone upstairs, and her footsteps were the most recognizable in the family, because the mother was the only one who used to wear clogs and flip-flops in the family.When my mother saw that the door of my room was wide open, her first reaction was to frown again, like a conditioned reflex, she blamed me for being in the room with the door open, and said, "My brother is going to sleep with you tonight, he has to prepare for the exam, and he is under a lot of pressure." Very much, be considerate of my younger brother.Later, she explained to me in a long-winded manner that Osamu Dazai was going to take a foreign language test next month. I nodded and faltered in response to her, but she in turn tried to scold me for not listening to her.Let me be sure again, I am not good at dealing with my father, but it may be equally difficult to deal with my mother.Mother thought about it, walked out of my bedroom, and came back after a while, holding a quilt in her arms, which should have been freshly washed a few days ago, and the quilt smelled of washing powder and softener.She took away the quilt that hadn't been used on my bed for a long time, replaced it with a new quilt, and finally went out. Before leaving, she closed the door of my room and gave me the last quilt of the night through the door. Instructions, let me use the bathroom as soon as possible after Osamu Dazai takes a bath, so as not to waste my brother's precious time.

It didn't take long for Osamu Dazai to wash his hair and take a bath, and came straight into my bedroom, as if nothing had happened, blinked, reminding me that if I don't use the bathroom again, the water in the bathtub will be completely cold, I stare After glancing at him, I went downstairs, rinsed my body briefly in the bathroom, and when I returned to the bedroom, Osamu Dazai was already sitting at the table in my bedroom, reading a thick, hard-covered book by the blue light of the desk lamp. Book, I passed by him and glanced behind him, it was probably a science book, at first glance I could see the formulas and linear illustrations on the pages, his hair was still wet, dripping water, wet the back of his pajamas A large piece, I kicked him to let him dry his hair, don't wait to pour all the water on my bed, he hesitated for a while and then replied to me and asked me to help him dry his hair.I subconsciously wanted to scold him, but I swallowed the swear words before I could say them out, and wordlessly pulled the wire of the hair dryer over, and pulled his hair to dry the dark hair. Dazai Osamu's hair is very thin and soft, and all It takes a lot of time to dry, and my hands are a little sore when holding the hair dryer.

The noise of the hair dryer was rumbling in the room. I stood behind him, fiddled with his hair, and gently asked him why he seemed a little angry just now.I reckoned that Osamu Dazai couldn't hear my voice, but he turned his head as if telepathically, and asked if I had said anything to him just now.

"Nothing." I shook my head and turned off the hair dryer.

Osamu Dazai really slept on the outside of my bed that night, and somehow he seemed to have become peaceful again, just like the previous entanglements with me and the angry kiss from him just now. It's all like a dream I had. Dazai's law and order are not like him—or maybe it's because I have expectations that there is a gap. There is no answer to this question. I just feel that I have become less like myself.I stared at the wall in front of me just a short distance away, and emptied my mind. Not long after, I found that Osamu Dazai's breathing that occasionally fell on my shoulder became even and long-he fell asleep.I waited a few more minutes, convinced of this, and finally moved myself slowly, keeping myself in the same position, and rolled over.Osamu Dazai was sleeping facing me, his blow-dried hair was very fluffy, and the shampoo smelled sweet. I used the same shampoo as him, and of course it had the same smell.

This is very strange, I think, I have been in close contact with his skin three times, but I feel like I have never looked at his face carefully before. I have looked into his pupils that are as deep as the sea, but why have I not noticed it? Osamu Dazai had faint blue eye circles under his eyes. He fell asleep with his eyes closed, and the traces of fatigue were covered under his slender eyelashes. Occasionally, his eyelids trembled, which was a natural body reaction when he was asleep.Looking down, you can see his thin lips, which are not sharp.In fact, my sleeping posture is not very good. On the contrary, Osamu Dazai can’t move very well when he sleeps. When he slept in my apartment late at night a few days ago, when I woke up, I found that his sleeping posture was not at all Nothing has changed.I stared at Osamu Dazai's beautiful sleeping face, and couldn't help but feel a little drowsy, and fell asleep in a daze.

Dreamed again.

This new dream can also hear the sound, I heard the sound of the waves, the sea breeze in midsummer is actually warm, but it can feel a little cool when blowing on the body, maybe it is a psychological effect, there is no one on the beach, Dazai Zhi stood in the shallow sea, letting the waves come and go from his feet, going and coming, changing constantly, he stretched out a hand to me, didn't say anything, but mostly asked me to put my hand on his In the palm of his hand, he can hold me - but after that, we are destined to have no good ending, he holds hands with me, we can only walk into the sea, until we reach the end of the sea, our breathing will also stagnate, and we will be fishy and salty drowned in sea water.The moment before he drowned, Osamu Dazai seemed to say something to me. I couldn't hear it clearly, but I could only see his lips moving.The me in the dream was probably as crazy as Osamu Dazai, because at that moment I didn't expect that I could understand what he said.

I just want to kiss his lips.

I made an appointment with a psychiatrist for myself, and the appointment registration for the psychiatric clinic was until Thursday. I still had to live through this endless bad dream for three nights, but I finally had hope. Even if I was awakened by the nightmare, I would The time required for the rapid heartbeat to calm down has been shortened a lot.The psychiatrist who received me was a delicate-looking woman, with black medium-length hair that was curled slightly inward at the end, and the length was just around the collarbone. Her lips were painted with lip gloss, which was light in color, but in the movement of her lips Sometimes you can see the transparent light like glass on the lips.

Maybe it’s because I’m a first-time doctor, and the consultation period is relatively long. I’ve never been to a psychiatric clinic before. When she asked me to explain my current situation, I was at a loss for words, and I didn’t know where to start. rise.Several threads of emotions in my head were twisted together. I paused for a while and said that I probably have a sleep disorder, it is difficult to fall asleep, and I always have dreams when I fall asleep. When I said this, I asked her if she would mind listening to me. My recent dream, the female doctor shook her head and let me continue.I talked in a mess and told her the dreams of several nights in bits and pieces.

"...Mr. Zhongyuan, can you tell me the identity of the other person in your dream? According to your description, he should be someone very close to you, your lover?" She turned the ballpoint pen in her hand, What did you scribble on the paper and ask me.

I was a little stiff, and it took me a while to shake my head bluntly.

"No, he is my brother."

The female doctor seemed a little surprised, and she didn't know whether she was surprised by the strange relationship between the brothers, or that I would announce this to her mouth. She seemed to want to ask something, but the nurse knocked twice Going out of the door, she turned the doorknob and poked her head in to remind her that the next patient who made an appointment was already waiting, and the consultation time for this time would be over in about 5 minutes.The beautiful black-haired female doctor had no choice but to say sorry to me, tore a piece of paper for me to write a prescription, and said to prescribe me some sleeping pills, at least to ensure a stable sleep time, she opened the work progress form and asked me Do you want to make an appointment for the next diagnosis and treatment? I nodded and waited for her to finish writing the prescription and left the consultation room with the prescription.

The dosage of sleeping pills is strictly controlled. I can’t mix too much. I can only take two weeks’ worth of medicine at most. After tightening the mouth of the bag, he squashed the air bulging inside, and stuffed the fluffy plastic bag into his briefcase.Tonight, because I came to the clinic for an appointment, I didn't stay in the company to work overtime. I clocked out at one o'clock. Even if I sat in the clinic for an hour and a half, it was still very early.I thought about finding a fast food restaurant nearby to settle today's dinner before returning to the apartment. When I walked across the road to the fast food restaurant opposite, I caught sight of a familiar figure out of the corner of my eye.

The boy in the high school uniform should not have appeared here, because the location of the clinic is in the urban area, and his school is about ten kilometers away in a straight line, and it takes half an hour by tram. It's time to have dinner at home, and why is it here.I blinked my eyes, afraid that what I saw Osamu Dazai sitting on the window seat in the coffee shop was a hallucination caused by my lack of sleep, but when I closed my eyes tightly, turned my eyeballs twice, and then opened them again, this The illusion is still there.The person sitting at the same table with him is also a familiar Mr. Mori Ogaimori who lives in the room next to my apartment.If they were sitting next to each other at a long table in a fast food restaurant, I could still hypnotize myself that their meeting was just a coincidence among coincidences.But they didn't choose the fast food restaurant next to them, but sat at a table for two in the coffee shop, facing each other, obviously it couldn't be explained by coincidence.

The mobile phone in my pocket buzzed, and the caller ID was my mother. I was a little dazed, and my fingers mechanically pressed the answer button, and my mother's voice came from the other end of the phone.She was a little anxious at first, and asked me if I knew where Osamu Dazai had gone, and then explained to me that he should have finished cram school at this time, but he hadn't returned home yet. At this point, my mother repeated The question just now asked me if I knew where Osamu Dazai would go.

I opened my lips, but I couldn’t utter any sound. I just felt the noise of people walking and talking in the whole street poured into my ears. I was deaf because of the noise, so naturally I couldn’t hear Knowing my own voice, I can't say anything.My mother didn't hear back from my phone call, and seemed even more anxious.I knew she wasn't worried about Dazai, but that if she didn't manage Dazai well, it would make her father unhappy.After all, my mother is a woman with keen intuition. She dialed my phone immediately before Dazai returned home on time, as if she believed that Dazai's changes were inseparable from me.She was silent on the other end of the phone for a while, and asked me one last question abruptly.

"Chuya, did you make a mistake about your brother?"

The mobile phone in my hand fell to the ground, and the phone was hung up because of this. I wanted to bend down to pick up the mobile phone whose screen was broken into flowers, but a beautiful hand appeared in my vision. One step faster than me, I picked up my mobile phone and put it in my palm. I slowly focused my gaze on the owner of this hand—Osamu Dazai had come out of the coffee shop at some point, with a leather schoolbag on one side shoulder straps—seeing me looking at him, he subconsciously smiled at me.

he asks.Why are you here, Chuya.