【Taizhong】Fake Orthopedics

The air conditioner was probably turned off before Osamu Dazai left my room—maybe it was turned off earlier. When we were entangled on the sofa, we inadvertently touched the remote control of the air conditioner caught in the sofa, and turned it off. The air conditioner was turned off, and he came to me during the science cram school on Saturday. Of course, he had to go home when the cram school was over, so it would look natural.After Osamu Dazai left, I lay flat on the sofa again. The air in the cramped room was also sealed and full of bad smells. The toilet paper used for the aftermath was thrown down in balls, and I rolled away for a certain distance, zero. Scattered on the living room floor.I closed my eyes, and fell asleep drowsily in this humid and sultry afternoon—as if I wanted to use sleep to make up for the exhaustion of my body. I thought I was in a deep sleep and dreamed.

The plot of the dream was a bit hazy, not because my memory of the dream was blurred, but because the whole dream was as weird as being covered in a layer of fog.

On a sunny summer day, Osamu Dazai ushered in his wedding on this auspicious day. A Western-style wedding is held in a church. The couple swears oaths, exchanges rings, and kisses. Everything is done step by step.I sat on the first row of pews in the church, applauded and congratulated him with my parents, as if he was really a good brother that I was proud of, and I kept my identity as a good brother.In the dream, I couldn't see who the bride was holding his forearm, but when I raised my eyes, I could only see Osamu Dazai's eyes.His lips were curved, as if he was smiling gracefully, but his eyes were full of glaciers, and he couldn't find any trace of a smile.Does his bride know the emotion in his eyes? I was puzzled, but I didn’t say anything. It was the father who gave them a message of congratulations.The only thing I could do was applaud, and I clapped my hands so hard that my palms turned red with blood.

It should be a sweet dream, there is no elder brother who would not wish his younger brother to find a good bride to spend the rest of his life with, but my dream did not end there.

After the wedding ceremony in the church, everyone went to the banquet venue for the second banquet, and booked a banquet hall in the hotel to entertain the wedding guests. The people who came this time were not only those relatives and friends in the church, but also some Father and Dazai's medical colleagues and distant relatives, some of whom I can't even name, but this is not what I should deal with, Dazai is not like me, it is impossible to be defeated by this situation , so I went upstairs and dumped myself into a mattress in a hotel room that was already open for a brief rest.I actually fell asleep for the second time in my dream, it was like a loop, ridiculous, ridiculous.

In the middle of the night, I only felt heavy on my body, and I struggled to get up, only to find that Osamu Dazai had entered my room at some point, with half of his body on my back, as if he wanted to suffocate me in the mattress like this, Let me suffocate, die faster.I wanted to wake up Osamu Dazai, who smelled of alcohol all over his body from dealing with those distant relatives and colleagues, but found that he was already sober, even his eyes were open.

Osamu Dazai grabbed my wrist and brought me down again, lying on my side on the bed facing him.The humidifier in the room was working quietly, and a small amount of purple-white light spots swayed with the produced mist. The light spots also swayed in Dazai Osamu's eyes. He looked at me and spoke. The voice is also very clear. I really can't tell whether he is drunk. After all, I know that some people have no symptoms even if they are drunk. Even the logic of talking drunk is smooth. I don't know if Dazai Such a person may be because Osamu Dazai is underage in my impression, and I have never seen him drink a bar.I was thinking about this, and I was having a headache because of the memory errors in my mind, when I heard Osamu Dazai's voice.It’s strange, I’m clearly in a dream, but I can hear Dazai Osamu’s voice, and I can’t figure out which one I am in the dream, maybe that high school student Dazai Osamu It's the one who appeared in my dream.

Osamu Dazai said, I have been dedicated enough to act as your good brother, and in exchange, Chuya, you promised me—his words came to an abrupt end here.He got up from the bed, pinned me directly, grabbed my neck with one hand, and exerted so much force with his fingers that I suddenly felt short of breath, and I couldn't even maintain the movement of looking up at Osamu Dazai's face. He didn't know when there was a pistol in his other hand. The pistol was black, and he could feel the intricately carved and sunken patterns on the pistol. If there was light, he should be able to see that it was What kind of pattern, but the room is dark.Why did I touch the gun body? It was not because I wanted to do so. It was Osamu Dazai who forced the pistol into my hand. As he was suffocating, he grabbed my hand and aimed the gun at his own heart.

"Shoot here, Chuya."

"You promised me, brother, you will go with me."

"Come with me and get out of here."

He said so, with a smile in his voice, which was naturally gentle, just like the performance of an innocent child at the moment when he got the gift he wanted most.

I opened my eyes and escaped from this dream. I was covered in sweat. The hot sweat near the tailbone stuck to my skin, like a large piece of fine and sharp needles pierced into the skin, and then pulled out quickly. As if coming out, I reached out and touched my neck. The feeling of being pinched by Osamu Dazai's fingers in my dream seemed to still remain in my body. I trembled uncontrollably, flexed my hands and feet, and curled myself into a ball.

I was also very ill.

Probably because of the bad dream I had last time, I suffered from insomnia for several nights. I could barely sleep for an hour or two by lying on the bed and watching the sun rise. I had to be woken up by the alarm clock and went to the company to check in work.Most ordinary company employees have such a tragic fate. As long as the sky has not fallen, they must go to work.Fortunately, Osamu Dazai did not come to my rented apartment for a whole week, so I was able to catch my breath during this rare intermission.

When I got off work on Friday, the head of my immediate boss showed great kindness, saying that he left work early today and invited people in the department to drink. He found an izakaya that opened earlier near the company, and several colleagues declined the head’s treat. , but most of the colleagues went. After all, the minister is a stingy man. If he can tell him to treat guests, it must be because he has some great happy event. As expected, the minister said with a smile that he The son of the family is getting married, and the woman is already pregnant. It is considered a marriage with the son, but the young couple have a very good relationship. They just went through the naturalization procedures today. The girl does not want to get married with a big belly. Being able to be a grandfather, of course he was overjoyed.

I eat charcoal-grilled chicken heart skewers in silence, drink draft beer in silence, and reduce my sense of existence. I am a silent stone statue, but the good times don’t last long. My colleagues at the same time found my silence and came over to talk to me. , he said, I listen, and from time to time I respond with a few perfunctory words.

"By the way, you know the architectural design office upstairs in our company, right?" The colleague continued to drink while holding a beer glass, "I happened to be watching TV yesterday, so I found out that the engineer in their office was So powerful, the well-known XXX and XXX buildings in China are all designed by him. Haven’t the design drafts of those two designs been made public? The drawings given by the designer are not too artistic, they are all painted flowers He can do it. I saw that the show happened to have a few clips of their engineering stage. I don’t know what to say except awesome. Such people work on the floor above our heads. On the other hand, we have With such a small salary, I really feel that there is a big gap in my heart!"

I came to my senses, put down the skewered chicken hearts that had been eaten up and only had a bamboo stick left in my hand, and asked him, "Is the engineer you're talking about surnamed Sen?"

"Yes! How do you know...you don't know him, do you?" The colleague winked. "I heard that there is no one around him. Do you have any younger sister or something? Hurry up and get close to him."

I smiled helplessly and said, "I guess we know each other—my family is just me and my younger brother who is still in high school. Where would I go on a blind date for my non-existent younger sister?"

Mori Ogai had just talked to me the day before.I came back from work and walked back to the apartment from the station. I happened to see him and his blond loli swinging in the park, so I said hello to him. Mr. Mori smiled at me and asked me what I had during the day on Saturday He didn't have time, so he wanted to bake a cake for Alice, but he and Alice probably couldn't eat the whole cake, so he said he could let me eat half of it.Naturally, I couldn't be ashamed to let him give me so much again and again. I can't do such a thing as free food, so I volunteered to help when making cakes.As a result, when I returned from the izakaya, I fell asleep dizzy, and when Mori Ogai knocked on my door the next morning, I just woke up, and my hair was as messy as straw.I said it was helping, but I couldn’t even recognize some of the kitchen utensils, so I was so helpless in the kitchen of Mr. Sen’s house for a while, and finally he gave it away with a wry smile, and asked Alice and I to wait in the living room. It's fine.

"Rin Taro treats you very well." The blond loli blocked her lips, she didn't know whether she was praising me or she was jealous. After she said this, she didn't seem to want to continue talking about this topic with me, so she climbed onto the sofa on her own , just enough to reach my hair sitting on the floor, she stretched out her hand to pull the end of my hair, combed my straw-like hair, and tied a three-strand braid.I'm not very good at dealing with this blonde loli, so I have to pray that Mori Ogai finishes baking the cake soon.

When I realized what I was thinking, I was stunned belatedly. Mori Ogai did treat me very well. In this bustling city, this kind of neighborhood affection has probably died out long ago. In the close relationship between family members and colleagues, I suddenly found that I was in an extremely relaxed state with Mori Ogai.Osamu Dazai asked me blankly, "Did you fall in love at first sight with the man next door?" popped into my head again, twitching the corners of his mouth unnaturally.

If only that was the case.I actually had such an idea.

My mother called me and coldly ordered me to go home on Sunday night. My father would have dinner at home on Sunday night. Said that my younger brother's test scores last week were among the best in his age, and he seems to have been reading thick textbooks for medical college students recently.

The air has been humid for several days, and it is very hot. On Sunday, there must have been enough clouds and it rained. I went to the door with an umbrella, only to realize that I forgot to bring the keys to the house. After ringing the doorbell, I came to open the door. It was not the mother, but Osamu Dazai. He probably just came downstairs from his bedroom, and there was a pair of blue-light-proof flat glasses on the bridge of his nose, which were very elegant, and he probably forgot to take them off.Without calling my name, he reached out and took my umbrella, put it away on the umbrella stand.

I really don’t know what is the meaning of this family dinner. My father never let me talk at the dinner table since I was a child, saying it was a polite education, but the time the family will be together is only at this dinner table. If you don’t talk, you will lose the last If there is no opportunity for communication, the emotional indifference between family members is also a conceivable consequence.I even felt that I could smell the hospital-specific disinfectant smell from my father, and the food in my mouth tasted like chewing wax. Osamu Dazai sat on the chair to my left, and only my mother occasionally said a few words on the table.Osamu Dazai finished eating a small bowl of rice, put down his chopsticks, and started chatting with his mother. After a few words, he brought the topic to me again.

"My brother didn't even say where he moved to. It's been a long time since he moved out and only came home once. It's very worrying. If something happens, I don't know where to go to find you."

When Osamu Dazai said this, his tone was well-balanced, and even his mother agreed with him, and I was scolded by my mother again for no reason.I was sure he did it on purpose, and kicked him to the left, hitting his calf.

The tormenting dinner was finally over, I dragged him upstairs, pushed him into my room, closed the door, and finally asked him angrily why he was so hypocritical to say nonsense in front of his mother.I don't know what attitude to take towards him anymore. Osamu Dazai is crazy, and I can't draw a conclusion by measuring him with the thinking of a normal person. I can't do anything about him, but I can't just indulge him like this Do whatever you want.

Osamu Dazai lowered his head and chuckled, then raised his face again, his slightly curly forehead hair moved up with his movements, revealing his pair of pupils.He stretched out his hand and pressed me against the door panel, biting my lips without any explanation.This kiss was a little different from the first time he did it. I vaguely sensed something, Osamu Dazai seemed to be angry, but I was not sure why he was angry.Fortunately, the lips were not bleeding from his bite. I stumbled and accepted this rough kiss with him. The front teeth hurt so much that I pushed him away with great difficulty. I used a lot of strength, almost punching It was only after he forced him to let go of me, that there would be bruises everywhere he was hit by my fist.

"Don't you want your father and her to know about me and you? I'm helping you. What else are you dissatisfied with, Chuya?"

Osamu Dazai looked at me from a distance of half a person, gritted his teeth, and said so unwillingly.