If you don't want to be gay today, start driving

Jiang Qin's tears flowed down my neck and wet the pillow below, but I couldn't move as if I was sealed...

He lowered his head and kissed my cheek, as devoutly as if on a pilgrimage, "It's terrible... Every time I wake up for a long time, I can't tell whether I am in a dream or reality. He Yi, during that time, I even closed my eyes at night. I dare not, for fear of repeating that dream again... No one will be like me, it's like a nightmare..."

I touched his face, and wiped off the teardrops on his eyelashes with the pulp of my thumb, "Can you tell me about that dream?"

"I don't remember clearly..." He murmured, "But when I woke up, I was very scared. We seemed to be back before the college entrance examination... I can't remember exactly what you said to me, but after you left, I was very confused and very excited. I also smashed everything around me. In my dream, I was calm for two days, and Lu Hanxue, she kept scolding me, like a monster... But I am full of you, and I always feel that I want to find you, very uneasy , when I found you later, you just..."

Jiang Qin broke down in tears as he spoke. A boy in his 20s cried helplessly like a fool.

I stroked the back of his head, "Okay, it's all a dream, look at you, why are you crying?"

I also had this kind of dream. I dreamed that after I died, Jiang Qin hugged me and cried heart-rendingly, but I couldn't see his appearance clearly at that time, and I didn't know what happened around him, and it happened again later. what.

Jiang Qin was still hugging me tightly and shaking his head desperately, "No! It's more real than a dream, more real than reality! You can't understand...the heartache, loss, and sadness in the dream are all real..."

"I understand……"

Jiang Qin couldn't listen to anything I said.

After the two were silent for a long time, he suddenly asked in a muffled voice, "He Yi, have I really lost you..."

"I……"

Forbearance, resignation, grievance, as if all the emotions turned into tears in an instant, pouring out of the eye sockets with soreness.

I wanted to pretend to be nonchalant and tell him that you were thinking too much, but when I opened my mouth, I cried with him.

How much we have sacrificed, how much painstaking effort we have made to get to where we are today, and going around for a lifetime is almost over, but we still have to love him.

"Jiang Qin...you in the dream, do you love me?" I kissed his tears and stroked his cheek, I longed to get in touch with him more, I hope we will never experience such a dream again in this life.

"Love, love without knowing it, too late to regret, I have never done anything that I regret so much in my memory, only the dream sounded the alarm for me, He Yi...I love you, I love you...I love you. "

"I love you too."

Don't long for tension, don't envy reincarnation, I have the present, that is, I have eternity.

Hugged silently for a long time, so long that I thought Jiang had fallen asleep, but he asked me, "He Yi...tell me, it's actually true, isn't it..."

Such a ridiculous thing, does anyone believe it? The Buddha said that it cannot be said that it is true and cannot be said. If it is said, it is gone.

I don't regret everything I did for Jiang Qin, and I really didn't pay too much, I only gave him love, and I gave it secretly by myself, and I was so moved by myself, but Jiang Qin never owed anything What am I, if I insist on blaming him, I can only blame him for being a good man, who makes me tempted and fascinated.

Thinking of it this way, Jiang Qin is really pitiful.

I kissed the tip of his nose and bit his neck, "What nonsense are you talking about?" Jiang Qin smiled and kissed, "Is it true... I lost you... He Yi, I think I know... no dream can be so real..."

"..."

"The last time I had that dream, I suddenly dreamed of the ending... We went back to the second year of high school, I just cut my hair and went back to the dormitory to see you clutching your stomach and going to see a doctor. I was very happy at that time, you came back, I even I knew it was a dream within a dream, I thought, it was about to end, the nightmare tormented me for more than a month, you finally came back, and then I really woke up."

Some people are afraid that they can’t make a sound when they cry, and I’m probably the same. The hair on both sides of the temples is wet with tears, and Jiang Qin who is close at hand is blurred, "Do you believe in fate? Believe in the letter of reincarnation Are you obsessed..."

If I didn't have such deep obsession or great regret, how would I go back to the past and start over with Jiang Qin to make up for all this.

Jiang Qin hugged tightly, "Believe it, I didn't believe it before, but I believe it now."

As smart as Jiang Qin, he always asked me why I was no longer as close to him as before since the second year of high school. He noticed a lot of things, even if they were discovered later.

But it's not too late, so he knows everything.

I can't say it, but he gets it.

Maybe it was too tired, maybe it was exhausting to exchange a very important secret, and we just fell asleep in each other's arms.

How long I have slept, I can hardly estimate, it always feels as long as a century of deep sleep.

I seem to have become a thread of soul floating around, like a broken candle that is about to lose its last light.

Someone awakened and called me, someone roared and cursed, all kinds of voices and expressions, like a white horse passing by, were fleeting in my ears, and I even thought sadly, I am not dead again, am I?

I was reborn with my obsession with Jiang Qin, and when I got him completely, my last sliver of soul finally subsided, and there was no resentment, so I disappeared?

How horrible that was, I couldn't breathe just thinking about it.

I don't want to disappear.

If I get Jiang Qin, I will fulfill my wish. Wouldn't it be too cruel for Jiang Qin who was left behind?

Why keep the person who loves you deeply, if you can't give him a future, why make a person you love so sad.

i don't want to disappear...

In no mood……

I thought I was really dead.

I can't seem to wake up.

I don't know if I woke up or not, but my thoughts were wandering, Jiang Qin was kissing me, and I heard him say in a daze, "Baby, you are too weak, why do you have a fever again?"

"Do you like egg custard? I made it for you before. Try it."

"I learned 43 dishes abroad, and you only ate three of them. At least you have to eat all of them?"

"Baby, I'm going to give you a bath again. If you know that I treat you like a little son every day, will you wake up and kill me? What? You won't? You will..."

"If you don't open your eyes and look at me now, aren't you killing me? You are making me commit suicide slowly..."

No, I don't want to hurt Jiang Qin...

Why can't I speak, am I still alive?

"Baby, today is your birthday, what do you want?"

"If you still don't speak, I will reward you for eating my big chirp... Hahaha why don't you get up and beat me to death, huh? Hit me, kick me twice..."

"Why are you crying? Doctor? Doctor! He reacted!" The bed under him seemed to shake, and the people around him staggered and ran out.

Jiang Qin, don't go, stay with me.

kiss me.

hold my hand please.

He seemed to have noticed it again, and he said, "I heard it, He Yi, are you going to wake up?"

He grabbed my hand so hard that it hurt my internal organs, and he kissed me so softly, "Are you going to wake up? My hair is going gray because of you."

"Don't...white hair...you're not handsome." I said.

His voice was hoarse as hell.

Jiang Qin smiled through tears, "I'm scared to death by you, you still worry about whether I'm handsome or not?"

My whole body was weak and limp, and I couldn't open my eyes. Fortunately, I could hear Jiang Qin crying next to my ear every day, as if giving me salvation, hooking a trace of my soul, and I couldn't get away.

So what's going on...

In her previous life, Jiang Qin was probably a resentful woman who was abandoned by me, so that in this life, she has become so aggressive, and she always seems to be crying.

Cry, cry, don't cry, how can I stay.

Finally, wake up.

After hugging and sleeping with Jiang Qin last time, I actually slept for more than a month. Looking at his thin cheeks, I felt distressed, "Don't you know how to cook 43 dishes? How can you feed yourself so thin? I feel sure." It’s because the food is not tasty.”

Jiang Qin didn't even dare to hug me hard, "If you gain one catty in the future, I will gain two catties, okay?"

"Okay..." In the end, it turned into two ugly fat people...

"Can you always hear what I say?" Jiang Qin touched my back.

This is a ward. There is a sofa next to it. It looks quite big. It should be specially customized for Jiang Qin, "I can hear you, you are not human, I am sick, and you want me to eat you..."

Jiang Qin froze in place, as if he had forgotten when he said this, and then smiled helplessly while hugging me, "If you know that you can wake up, I'll feed you earlier."

"..."

Making the most casual jokes, embracing a love that was nearly lost again.

Jiang Qin and I both understand that I'm probably paying off my debts... I escaped from the underworld once, and I always have to pay something, when it's hard work, anyone can bear it...

Fortunately, I survived.

I haven't gotten out of bed much for a month, my limbs and I are almost rusty, and when I get out of bed, it feels like I have a prosthetic.

Fortunately, walking two steps is much better, Jiang Qin seems to always give me a massage.

The doctor said I was a miracle, I seemed to be dying for no reason...

Even though the machine was smashed by Jiang Qin before the critical illness notice was printed out, he was back to normal again.

Jiang Qin looked at me and smiled, he understands, he knows, I can come back to be with him after death, how could a simple coma make me leave from now on.

With this illness, I managed to avoid a new one, and I didn't have to worry about whether to celebrate the new year with He Xiang. In the end, Jiang Qin stayed with me in the hospital.

Jiang Qin said that they all came to see me during this period.

I sat on the bed and asked him, "Who is it?"

Jiang Qin: "Your parents-in-law."

"Fuck...then why didn't I hear it?"

Jiang Qin shook his head, "Maybe you can only hear me muttering to myself?"