like a dog

At the end of October, Lin You had a phone call with Lin Xun, and they mentioned Lu Yuan again.

"You said last time that you would let me meet for a while, how about meeting once this weekend?"

Lin Xun hesitated for a moment, glanced at Lu Yuan who was cleaning the study, but didn't agree immediately, just said I'll ask him.Sitting on the sofa together in the evening, Lu Yuan connected the computer to the TV to watch the previously downloaded criminal investigation drama, while Lin Xun wore glasses and flipped through an animal illustrated book to find inspiration for his next novel.

"Lu Yuan, are you free this weekend?"

"Yes." Lu Yuan leaned on Lin Xun's lap and looked at him. "There was a high school reunion, but yesterday it was said that some people couldn't make it back, so the date was changed. What's the matter, do you want to go out?"

"My dad said he wanted to see you."

Lu Yuan blinked blankly: "Your dad wants to see me?" He turned over from the sofa, and Lin Xun saw that his face seemed a little red, standing in front of him like a student who was called to the podium by the teacher after class.

"Can I?"

Lin Xun smiled, Lu Yuan didn't have any classes to attend in his senior year, and he had accumulated enough internship credits, and he didn't go to his previous company again. When he had nothing to do, he stayed at home with him, cooking, washing and cleaning. , taking time to write his graduation thesis slowly.Being taken care of by Lu Yuan like this, he almost forgot that he was just a college student who hadn't graduated yet.

Lin Xun closed the book, and Lu Yuan squatted down when he stretched out his hand, and rubbed against his palm habitually.Lin Xun patted his cheek, rubbed his soft hair and said, "You can, just to meet, my dad just wants to see..." He paused, touched Lu Yuan's ear and said softly: "What kind of people I'm dating."

Looking at him, Lu Yuan's eyes seemed to become brighter. He held Lin Xun's hand, lay on his knees, breathed out a sigh of relief, and sat down beside him after a while.Lin Xun turned the pages of the book, and slowly leaned on Lu Yuan's shoulder again.His eyes were a little tired. He took off his glasses and closed his eyes. For some reason, his shoulders seemed to be stronger than before.

The meeting time and place are Lin Youding.Although Lu Yuan didn't show too much nervousness or lack of self-confidence after that, Lin Xun could tell from the way he hesitated in front of the closet for a long time that he was still a little nervous.

Lin Xun chose a shirt for him that he often wears, and said in front of him, "Just this one."

Lu Yuan nodded and changed his clothes. Lin Xun lowered his head to help him tie the buttons and said, "Just be yourself. My dad is not too strict. He has a good temper..." Lu Yuan called out to him , Lin Xun looked up at him, Lu Yuan took his hand, and only then did he realize that his hand was shaking.

Lu Yuan held Lin Xun's hand, touched his fingers and said, "Lin Xun, just be yourself. It's good that you are like this now, don't force yourself too much, he is your father, there will be no problem .”

Lin Xun pretended not to be anxious about meeting Lin You, and didn't say anything. He didn't fall asleep much last night and closed his eyes to pretend he didn't suffer from insomnia. He almost deceived himself, but Lu Yuan still saw through.

Lin Xun took a deep breath, looked down at their clenched hands, and raised his head to kiss his close lips.When he finished the kiss, his cold fingers warmed up.He looked into his eyes, smiled and said, "Let's go."

The meeting place was in the urban area. They got off the subway and took a taxi. It was exactly eleven o'clock when they arrived, half an hour earlier than the agreed time.

Lin You and them were almost at the same time. Lin Xun was worried that Lu Yuan would not be able to handle it. After all, he was still too immature to face Lin You.But the fact is that he was overthinking, Lu Yuan greeted Lin You generously, and talked with him a lot with a smile, but he stood by the side and didn't say much after greeting.

The last time I met Lin You seemed to be several years ago. Lin Xun sat at the table and looked at Lin You, and found that he also had gray hair. He would always forget this when talking on the phone with him. He is not invincible , he is also weak in front of time.

He was no longer the father who could carry him on his shoulders, and the sternness in his eyes was less hidden, like a sharp weapon soaked by the years, with a little rust deposited.But even so, there was still a kind of coldness on his body, like a knife protruding horizontally under the sun. Although he was smiling, he still exuded an indelible bloody smell.

Lin You looked at Lin Xun and asked with a smile, "How are you doing recently?"

"It's okay." Lin Xun stroked the glass in his hand, then changed his mouth again, "It's pretty good."

After a long meal, Lin Xun went to the bathroom halfway.When I came back, I found that neither of them spoke, as if they had been quiet for a long time.Lin Xun sat down beside Lu Yuan, and was about to ask him what happened, but Lu Yuan stood up and apologized to him, "I'll go too."

Only Lin You and him were left in the room.Lin Xun took a sip of lemonade, and when he put down the glass to speak, Lin You broke the silence first, shaking the cigarette on his hand, and said slowly: "Lin Xun, do you like him?"

There was no warmth in his tone, not like asking him, but interrogating him.Lin Xun didn't hesitate much, and met Lin You's gaze and said coldly: "I love him."

"What's the reason?"

"he's good."

"I can replace it with a better one for you."

Lin Xun glanced at him quietly. Lin You's words were hard to distinguish between true and false. He has always been a master at pretending. He can't learn his falsehood, nor can he learn his truth.

"I don't need it." Lin Xun slowly clenched his fists, "If you touch him, you touch me."

Lin You smiled, leaned back in the chair and said, "Really? Are you sure you want him?" He seemed to be talking about family affairs, but he didn't have the warmth he should have: "I taught you that people can't On the surface, he may be completely different from what you imagined. Are you sure you want him, no matter what you don't regret it?"

Lin Xun let go of his clenched fist, took a sip of the lemonade on the table.He knew what Lin You meant. Everyone has secrets. He has secrets, Lin You has them, and Lu Yuan has them too.In the matter of feelings, honesty is not necessarily the best choice, and it is not necessarily stupid to ask the bottom line.

Just like no matter how much he trusts Lu Yuan, he won't tell him everything. Similarly, Lu Yuan can also choose to hide some things from him.There is no one who is completely frank in the world. When a person lives alone, there will be secrets.

Lin Xun put down his glass and whispered, "I love him, and I don't regret it."

Lin You wrung out his cigarette, smiled and sighed: "Okay, as long as you think it's good." He looked at his son and said that he looked like him, but looking at him now, he only felt that he looked more and more like him. Yu Wen, there is a clear distinction between love and hate, when you want to give it, you hand it over, and when you want to take it back, you have to leave even if you tear yourself apart.

"But I have to send you away. After you meet Yu Wen at the end of the year, I will send you abroad. Over the years, your name has been used for activities there, with real estate and credit records. You also have several small companies under your name. You don’t have to worry about anything, just get on the plane, and someone will pick you up when you arrive.”

Lin Xun frowned and said, "Why?"

"Last month I found new clues, but by the time I arrived, people were dead and things were gone. As before, any clues about that car accident will eventually turn into a dead end. It's the same as the one that happened back then. In such a clumsy kidnapping case, the scene is full of flaws, but the person behind it cannot be found, because the clues are all broken."

Lin You turned the lighter in his hand, flicked off the lighter cover, and snapped it on again. He looked at Lin Xun, his voice became as cold as the metal in his hand: "I suspect that the person who wanted to attack you at that time was the same as the one who planned it before. It was the same group of people who killed Chen Jinlin Tong."

Lin Xun's breath was stagnant, and he clenched the glass in his hand.Lin You went back to work for Han Lin, and now continues to work under Han Xuan, just to find out the deaths of Chen Jin and Lin Tong.That year he was a senior, and Lin Tong was only four years old.His never-masking younger sister died in a sudden car accident with her mother on Children's Day.

And that June, when Lin You held the funeral for his wife and daughter, he didn't know that he was about to lose his son too.

He has killed many people, and accident is the best disguise. He is a familiar hand, and his experience made him smell the conspiracy from this car accident.The death of the two of them was not an accident, but man-made.He quickly withdrew from his useless grief and devoted all his energies to finding the murderer.

Several months had passed by the time he realized that Lin Xun hadn't contacted him for a long time.Lin Xun was in Anchi at that time, and they even made an appointment to meet, but Lin Xun didn't come to see him, he seemed to have disappeared from the world, and there was no news from him again.

Lin You went back to check the landline at home. After the funeral, he never returned home. After a few months, the room was full of dust, and everything was still the same, but he was gone. Tender little shoes, no one would wear them again, and threw herself into his arms with a smile.

He checked the incoming calls from the landline, and there was a missed call on June [-], but he did not leave a message.Lin You remembered that this phone number was the landline number of Lin Xun's dormitory in Xiqiao No. [-] Middle School.Before Lin Xun called but no one answered, he would leave a message, but this time he didn't.

Either this call was not made by Lin Xun, or Lin Xun didn't have time to leave him a message at all.

His gut told him the second scenario was more likely, but the last thing he wanted to happen was the latter.But things never go the way people want them to, bad things happen, every day.

A few weeks later he found Lin Xun.Song Yuan took him to the door of the ward and handed the key to him.

"Brother Tian, ​​you can take him away now, no one will stop you. But I hope you can take a good look at him before deciding whether to take him away."

Lin You was at the door of the ward, looking at the bright room through the small window on the door.Holding the key tightly, he stood at the door for a long time, which seemed to be very long and also very short.

For a moment, Lin Xun even met his gaze.He was struggling hysterically on the hospital bed, crying and laughing, and blinking blankly for a while, as if he was awake for a few seconds.With red eyes, he looked at Lin You outside the door, struggled feebly a few times, and opened his mouth with sobs.

He said, take me away.

His fragile appearance reminded Lin You that when he was just born, he was lying in the incubator, crying heartbreakingly. He wanted to hug him so much, but he couldn't. will bring him disaster.He has to stay in it until he is healthy enough.

Lin You didn't stand there anymore, he turned and left, and when he went downstairs, he threw the blood-stained key into the trash can.

"Those people have missed once, they may let you go, or they may plan to do it again at a certain time." Lin You lit another cigarette and exhaled, "It's too dangerous for you to stay here, you must Go, go as far as you can."

"Why do you think it's safe if I leave?" Lin Xun understood what Lin You said, but he didn't think that leaving Zhangzhou would change anything, "I don't want to leave here."

"There will be someone to protect you over there. I have already made arrangements. After a while, I will send Yu Wen there too. Since you are not here, I can do things freely." Lin You saw that Lin Xun was still hesitating, He smiled and said, "Take him with you, anyway, there is nothing else worth keeping here. Talk to him, if he is willing, then everything will be fine, if he is not willing, I will help you talk to him again."

"No, I'll just talk to him."

Lin Xun rejected him straight away. Lin You's so-called conversation made people feel chills.

A few minutes later, Lu Yuan came back, and the three of them sat and chatted for a while. It seemed that the atmosphere was harmonious, but in fact, they each had their own concerns.Lin Xun didn't eat much in the second half of the trip, today can be regarded as a disastrous meeting, worse than he expected, but it can't be avoided, Lin You and Lu Yuan must meet once again.

Long-term pain is worse than short-term pain, and there are things that should be said or must be said.

After the end, Lin Xun walked to the subway station with Lu Yuan.Lu Yuan was going to stop the taxi, but Lin Xun said he wanted to walk more, so he nodded with a smile and said, okay, let's take a walk together.

In the afternoon at the end of October, although the sun was warm, it was still a bit cold when the wind blew.They walked through North Street Park, and the subway station was diagonally opposite the park.Lin Xun used to come here when he was a child, but now the people have changed, and the place has changed completely. The wide lawn he used to lie on has become a pigeon square, and the white pigeons fly to the side of the fountain and disperse when people pass by. .

Lu Yuan followed behind him, and he was used to walking behind him since some time ago.He remembered that he seemed to ask him once, when they took the escalator up the overpass, Lu Yuan was standing in front of him, but came down a few steps to stand behind him.

The fallen leaves falling at his feet swirled on the ground with the breeze. Lin Xun touched the scarf Lu Yuan tied on him when he went out, and remembered his answer at that time.

"There are so many people here, I'm afraid that if you turn around, you won't be here."

Lin Xun looked back at Lu Yuan, who was looking at the white pigeons flying in the square.

"Lu Yuan." Lin Xun called him, and Lu Yuan turned to look at him, and answered him with a smile. Lin Xun seemed to be hoarse, and suddenly couldn't speak what he wanted to say.

What if he doesn't want to?Why does he ask him to live with him as the center, to keep such a lively person in captivity?

He should be under the blue sky, not like him, staying in an invisible cage all day long.

"Lu Yuan, shall we leave here together?" Lin Xun whispered, but he finally opened his mouth.

He felt that he was a selfish animal, and it became his instinct to want to be with this person in front of him.For this instinct, he abandons his morality, allowing selfishness to temporarily swallow up guilt.

Without hesitation, Lu Yuan said, "Sure, where do you want to go?"

"It's not just for a while, and it's not just Zhangzhou. I want to leave here and go to a far away place, and I won't come back in the future." Lin Xun stood by the fountain, and the sound of the water almost drowned out his voice, "Would you like Come with me?"

He thought he would wait until there was silence, but he didn't expect that there would be a response almost in the next second.

Lu Yuan pulled out his hand in the pocket of the windbreaker, held his face and said with a smile: "I am willing, I will go wherever you go." Lin Xun was warmed by his hand, and looked at him hesitantly. Said: "Don't you think about it anymore? Don't you think about your parents, friends, your studies and future plans?"

"My parents have been unable to control me for a long time. They will support all my decisions in the sky. Friends can be made again. Besides, it is not like before. The information is so developed, and it is not impossible to communicate without meeting each other. I am anyway I'm about to graduate, and I don't have much to think about in my studies, as for my future plans..."

Lu Yuan smiled and sighed like a sigh of relief, and pinched Lin Xun's cheek: "I was scared to death when you called me just now, I thought you were going to preempt me."

Lin Xun stared at him without knowing it, and forgot to avoid his hand.He stared blankly at Lu Yuan's eyes and said, "What's the first thing?"

Lu Yuan smiled, but did not answer.He knelt down on one knee in front of him and took out the velvet box in his pocket.Holding a ring in his hand, he looks at the whole future he looks forward to.

This time it was his turn to ask him that question.

He looked up at him and said softly, "Lin Xun, are you willing?"

In the sun, the breeze is blowing, white doves pass by the fountain, and yellowing leaves are floating on the water.Lin Xun's answer was lighter than a feather and shallower than a pool of water, which made him want to spend all the time after that to listen carefully.

Lu Yuan bowed his head and kissed the ring on his ring finger, held his hand and got up, and when he closed his eyes, he also closed his eyes to kiss his lips.