like a dog

Lu Yuan washed the car at the car wash shop in the underground garage, and went straight to the pet hospital to pick up Lizhi for the return trip.

This time with the flight case, it stayed in the back seat.

Lin Xun was wearing a seat belt and sitting in the co-driver. It was nearly eight o'clock, blood red and orange lights were scattered in the night, and the traffic was rolling. They were blocked in front of a long traffic light. Blood vessels, throbbing with cold steel.

The sticky hot mist dissipated completely, like a layer of ice, breaking up the previous intimacy and enthusiasm with a stick, stirring in the air in pieces, and slipping into the air duct like ice slag without paying attention.

They didn't say anything all the way, and Lu Yuan didn't talk to him much since then.

Although he also opened the door for him and fastened his seat belt, it was always as if there was something between them, and they didn't look at each other, as if they were wearing a transparent protective suit, which invisibly separated contact.

Lin Xun moved his shoulders, his neck was a little stiff, the wound on the back of his neck was almost healed, the medicine Lu Yuan gave him, the previous bite marks did not leave any scars, and this time probably there will be no scars.

The radio was not turned on, and the car was terribly quiet, like a low pressure hovering, not even the litchi.Lin Xun was still fighting in his mind, words were fighting in his throat, and he spit out a sentence after a long while: "I just responded casually."

"It's okay, I don't care."

Lu Yuan looked ahead, the red light was still on, he pointed the steering wheel with his fingers, and he didn't look at him from the beginning to the end.

Lin Xun turned his head, his temples twitched, Lu Yuan was smiling, but just like his words, it was very blunt.He would rather have a big fight with him, slam the door away, or justify angrily, rather than acting like nothing happened, but the inside is stabbed to pieces, with blood dripping from the spleen and hanging on outside.

"Lu Yuan, I didn't think..." Lin Xun pressed his forehead wearily. When he saw him for the first time, he didn't expect it to become like this.Indistinctly muddy together.Just like the extra bad bandages at that time, they were wound around indiscriminately.Now it's festered, and it's stuck together and can't be disassembled.

"I know."

When the light was green, he shifted back to D gear. They waited for nearly 15 minutes for this left turn. The roads in the urban area were really too congested.

"I know that he is a teacher's friend, an important friend who has known me for a long time. You believe what he said is normal. I am just a housekeeper who rents in your house. I don't know the bottom line. It's normal for you not to trust me. " Lu Yuan held the steering wheel calmly, as if he was giving a report that had been rehearsed countless times on the podium, and suddenly laughed.

"Maybe you don't believe it. I've fallen in love with you since you bandaged my wounds. You said you don't want to fall in love, and you don't want to be with me. I also think it's acceptable. It's normal for feelings to be unrequited. I I knew it was going to be like this.”

The lights reflected on his face, dim yellow and red like overturned neon lights, colorful and floating like rivers flowing.

"Teacher, you...sometimes you take the initiative, and sometimes you don't say anything. The contrast is huge, and there are even some contradictions. Because in fact, no matter which one is, it is not the real you."

The darkness of night is blocked by man-made brilliance, like a decorated monster.He suddenly envied the darkness a little bit, at least facing it, Lin Xun was completely real.

"I thought you just liked me a little bit." Lin Xun said in a low voice, as if his throat was being strangled, and his nose was also stuffy.Maybe 18°C ​​is really too cold.

The randomly tightened sandbags hanging above his head were shattered by a punch, leaving him ashamed, unable to be brushed off, drifting into his eyes and lungs, dirty and confused, drowsy and depressed.He leaned against the car window and closed his eyes half-closed, unable to say anything, the atmosphere was stiff as if the car was filled with cement, it was terrible.

"It's not a little... It's not that I like it a little bit, Lin Xun."

Another red light, they stopped in front of the sidewalk, passers-by hurriedly stepped on the zebra crossing and passed in front of the car, hot and cold faces reflected each other, sparks scattered everywhere.

"I like two or three hundred grams, but you probably don't want it." Lu Yuan leaned on the seat and sighed with a smile, "My sincerity is too heavy for you, isn't it?"

He cleared his throat and released the brake: "Go to sleep first, I will call you when I get home."

Lin Xun couldn't fall asleep.

Not when I closed my eyes in the car, nor when I got back to the apartment to tidy up in the bathroom.His chest was blocked and stiff, as if he had been stuffed with a ton of waste, filling all his windpipes, inhaling and exhaling were painful, dull and endless.

Lu Yuan tidied up his things and went back to his room. Lychee stepped on the plastic bag on the side, tired after stepping on it for a while, and meowed at his feet for a while, and left unhappily without receiving the usual caress .Lu Yuan went into the kitchen to cook noodles, put green vegetables and minced meat on the table, Lin Xun was still in the bathroom when they brought them out, he continued to clean up the living room, and finally left it cold on the table and no one ate it.

Lin Xun entered the room and did not go out again.Originally, Lu Yuan would help him clean up, but this time he locked the door, even if Lu Yuan wanted to help him, he couldn't come in.He turned on the big shower, and the hot water hurt the skin and flesh, and the warm water washed away the dirty.

The water crashed into my ears like thunder, like fireworks and firecrackers at a wedding.He stood in front of the stairs, Fu Rui dyed his black hair back, and they set off fireworks against the sky, brilliant and brilliant.The groom bows his head and kisses his bride, holding her face like a treasure.

He and Fu Rui sang two songs with the guitar on the small stage of the wedding. He is actually not good at plucked instruments. He learned a week before the battle and lent Fu Rui a set of school uniforms. The two wore white shirts and black long sleeves. Kuang sang "Lian Lian" and sang the line "Dear My Love", shrugging at Lin You and laughing non-stop.When they left the stage, Lin You hooked their necks and smiled. The bride was pregnant, and he was all the wine toast.He was still far from drunk, but his eyes were red.

Before leaving, Lin You patted Fu Rui on the shoulder and told him to take care of Lin Xun more.Fu Rui smiled and said it must be, but it is really not sure who will take care of whom.When the car drove away, Fu Rui elbowed Lin Xun: "Hey, do you want to catch up?"

"How hypocritical." Lin Xun pushed him away and went back to the room.

In the evening, they took out all the beer that Lin You didn't take from the refrigerator. It was bitter, astringent and tasteless, so they mixed it with soda and drank it.They played the DVD, and when the protagonist was passionate, they sang along to the mouth of the bottle.The bullet clicked into the chamber on the screen, Fu Rui said with red eyes that I wanted to cry, Lin Xun took out a tissue and told him to cry, I will go downstairs to get a bottle of soda.

He went down the stairs, walked out of the small building, ran to the telephone booth in front of the canteen at the bridge head, and dropped a coin.It's been a long time since I dialed that number, so I almost can't remember it.

There was no one answering the call for a long time, Lin Xun also hesitated what to say, coming out was only a temporary thought on his mind.

"Hey, who is it?" Lin Xun, who was about to hang up, was stunned by the crisp answer. He hesitated and put the receiver back to his ear, but the voice on the other side was far away, "Dad's phone is broken and there is no sound... "

Lin Xun shook his head and smiled, and sure enough he dialed the wrong number, but another voice rang out from the noise made him freeze.

"What's the matter, show Dad..."

Before the voice came closer, he hung up the phone with a snap.

The familiar voice crushed his strength, Lin Xun squatted down holding the button, his eyes were burning sore, he bit his knuckles and choked up.Like a dam collapsed, tears suddenly flowed continuously.They flowed scalding into his mouth, tickling his nostrils like strong alcohol.

In a blink of an eye, when I was still a child, I fell down and fell into disgrace.He ran over to hug him, wiped the ashes and tears off his face, blew on his palms and asked him the same thing, Xiao Xun stopped crying, what's the matter, show her mother.

Stop crying don't cry.

Lin Xun wiped his face, raised his head and fanned his eyes, blinking desperately, Lin Xun, you are not a child anymore.You are no longer a child.

He chanted silently for a long time and held it back. He let out a long breath, and his legs were numb when he got up.

Lin Xun jumped on the spot, with the cap of the soda bottle still in his pocket, which jingled with the coins.He pushed open the partition door covered with small advertisements, took out exactly five bottle caps, and exchanged a new bottle with the shop owner.The soda was cold on his face, and he walked quickly back to the small building.

As soon as Lin Xun went upstairs and opened the door, Fu Rui rushed into his arms.He reeked of alcohol, knocking him almost to the ground.

Fu Rui hung on his shoulder and muttered: "Ashan, where have you been, I've been waiting for you to death..."

"Quick... get up! You're dead, how much did you drink?" Lin Xun pressed his head against his head, and what he was worried about on the way back still happened.This man really drank beer like soda. Although Fu Rui lived and ate at the bar, Lao Jin was strict with him, and he was also self-disciplined. It was the first time he drank alcohol.Leaving him alone this time, he really got drunk indiscriminately.

Fu Rui hugged Lin Xun tightly, strangling him until he couldn't breathe, buried his face in his body and rubbed against him endlessly, he didn't know whether it was tears or saliva, after he finished thinking about you, he murmured that he loved you, and he was covered in goosebumps The pimples are all up.Lin Xun couldn't stand still, he supported the drunk and knelt on the ground, and replied indiscriminately: "Yes, yes, love you, love you."

"You fart!" Fu Rui cried while grabbing his clothes.Lin Xun was at a loss, so he could only pat him on the back to comfort him, thinking that he would not be allowed to touch wine next time, the wine was too bad.

"Okay, I'm farting."

Fu Rui cried and raised his head to look at him, sobbing with red eyes: "Who are you?"

Lin Xun said helplessly, "I am Lin Xun."

"Oh Guan Shan, why do you look like this?" He held his face and shook it from side to side, his hands were sticky, the soda mixed with the smell of beer, and he cursed indistinctly, "You liar, your family How can you be a good person? Oh, your mother is pretty good, and it was pretty good when I was you... Your ancestor’s surname is Zhou, can’t you be gentle when you want to get rid of scars? Just peel it off after a good layer of skin, really His mother is a bastard. I am dying of pain and you will not come, and you are also a bastard..."

Fu Rui chattered endlessly with his tongue tied. He heard him swearing over and over again, you bastard, and the rest of the three or five sounds were mixed together. He really didn't know what he was angry about.

Lin Xun patted his face unbearably: "Fu Rui, wake up, hey, wake up!"

Fu Rui turned his eyes to look at him in a daze, frowned and stared, as if he matched the three ghosts.

"It's you, Lin Xun, you're back."

Lin Xun wiped the tears off his face, and wiped them back on his own clothes: "Yes, I'm back."

At this time he was still sober, and later he was also drunk, his hands and feet were weak and he felt nauseous.

From then on, he hated alcohol.Drinking is tasteless, drunk makes people dizzy, and it will only increase after waking up.It may bring a moment of happiness, but all that is left is pain.

It's just like an inferior poison, not necessarily fatal, but definitely difficult.

"Lin Xun! Lin Xun!"

For the first time, Lin Xun felt that the overhead light was dazzling, as if it had been peeled off and looked at the rotten organs brightly, his whole body was cold, and his head hurt like thousands of drill bits. Pushing away the source of the noise: "Don't... touch me."

"Can you be sober, do you know what you're doing? If I don't come in, are you going to freeze yourself to death like this?" Lu Yuan pinched his shoulder and shouted.He lay in bed for several hours, and the sound of the water didn't stop.I talked too much today, Lin Xun locked himself in the room, and he didn't go there anymore.

But in the early hours of the morning, there was still the faint sound of running water.

He came out and saw that water had overflowed from under the door of Lin Xun's room.He kicked the door in and walked into the bathroom with cold water all over the floor. Lin Xun curled up in the bathtub, the water covered his chest and was drenched.The shower fell on the bathroom floor tiles, and half of the cigarette and ash in the washbasin were mixed together.He lifted him out of the bathtub, like lifting a piece of ice out of icy water.

"Don't touch me!" Lin Xun shook off his hand and staggered out of bed.

"What do you want to do, Lin Xun, what exactly do you want to do?" Lu Yuan grabbed his hand and dragged him back under the quilt, holding his cold hand, his voice trembling, "Don't move, okay, the ambulance has arrived It's on the way, don't be like this, okay?"

"Don't go to the hospital, I won't go, let me go... let me go!" Lin Xun was hugged tightly by Lu Yuan, and the beating heart in his chest made him dizzy.

"Why do you all have to do this? Why!" He was pushing and shoving hysterically, with a high fever, his voice was completely hoarse, like a prisoner struggling desperately, bumping in vain.

"Is it so great to love me? Like me to care about me, and then, don't you still have to leave?" He tugged on Lu Yuan's neckline, choked up in a hoarse voice, and clenched his hands weakly, those things that couldn't be grasped were repeated over and over again. He slipped away between his fingers, and his parents and friends, bright and sober, all slipped away.

"Isn't it all the same in the end, I'm the only one..."

"Lin Xun, I won't leave." Lu Yuan hugged him tightly, his forehead was pressed against his shoulder, which made him choke with heat, "I won't leave."

Lin Xun was in a daze, as if he was in a dream.In the dream, everything he lost came back, and he returned to his best age.That he can generously give him his heart, give him his kiss, and give him the rest of his long life.

He was in a daze, and was rushed into the bustling crowd on the boulevard on the day of college entrance.People from various associations set up tents and set up tables and chairs in the square. He looked down at the leaflets and stopped, and accidentally bumped into a person. That person turned around and became like Lu Yuan.After he said he was sorry, he hurriedly asked him if he was okay, Lu Yuan covered his shoulder with a smile and said it hurts.He was moved so simply.

It would be great if the time could be changed and staggered.

Lin Xun closed his eyes and muttered, "Why didn't you come earlier..."

"I'm sorry, I didn't come in earlier." Lu Yuan held his hand, which was cold before, but now it was warmer.Tears fell on their overlapping hands, he hated the weak appearance of crying, but Lin Xun always made him weak.

"I didn't come earlier."

Lin Xun closed his eyes and fell into a coma, without any further response.Lu Yuan touched the palm of his hand, and then touched his forehead. There was an ice cellar on one side and a stove on the other.He hugged Lin Xun tightly, said in a rustling voice that it was all right, and dialed the phone again.