Love him deep into bone marrow Jian Hanfeng Chengyou

It's still early, but it's past nine o'clock at night.

Usually, Yin Jingnan would go to the study to read for a while, but today he returned to the master bedroom with Xiaoyan in his arms, went to bed early, and turned off the lights in the house, leaving only a small dim light by the bed.

There is no doubt that Xiaoyan needs company now.

Xiaoyan was put on the side of the bed by Yin Jingnan, and lay quietly. He always wanted to get closer to Yin Jingnan, but now he seemed to have no idea, and closed his eyes as if he was going to sleep.

If he were really as calm as he appeared on the surface, Yin Jingnan wouldn't be so worried.

I'm afraid that he looks fine, but suddenly does something stupid that cannot be undone.

Yin Jingnan lifted the quilt and lay down, stretched out his arms and fished the person into his arms.

"Cold?"

Enveloped by a warm embrace, Xiaoyan was a little dazed for a moment, and shook his head.

"Didn't you say that you wanted to knit a scarf for me? You can do some manual work to pass the time when you're bored during the day."

"But now that your hand is injured, just wait until you're done."

Yin Jingnan's gentle voice came from above his head.

Ever since the baby passed away, Xiaoyan hadn't thought about it that way. As for weaving the scarf, it was actually his wishful thinking at first, and Yin Jingnan wasn't necessarily a fan of it.

When Yin Jingnan said this suddenly, Xiaoyan's eyes suddenly became sour, and he could tell that Yin Jingnan was concerned about him.

Xiaoyan moved his lips slightly, stretched out his hand from under the quilt, and gestured.

"what……"

I don't want to knit a scarf anymore.

"Then don't knit, it's okay." Yin Jingnan stroked his emaciated back with a big palm.

"You haven't gone out for a long time, let me go out with you tomorrow."

Xiaoyan paused, raised his hand to gesture with red eyes.

I don't really want to go out.

Yin Jingnan sighed, "I'm worried about you."

Xiaoyan bowed his head in silence.

Yin Jingnan said patiently, "I won't go to work tomorrow, and I will stay with you at home. Let's go to the supermarket and come back with some snacks you like."

"Just take it as if you're going with me, okay?"

"Otherwise I'd be bored by myself."

Xiaoyan nodded slightly.

After a while, he raised his hand and gestured.

In fact, you don't have to worry about me, I'm fine.

"No, it just so happens that I haven't been to the supermarket for a long time." Yin Jingnan explained.

Xiaoyan dreamed a lot at night, always dreaming of the night when his child suddenly fell ill, he kept running in the cold wind with the child in his arms, obviously the hospital was right in front of him, but he couldn’t get there no matter what, he was extremely helpless, watching helplessly He held his son breathless in his arms.

I knew it was a lie when I woke up in a half-dream, and the matter was over, but I still couldn't control the tears streaming down my face. I often woke up once and couldn't fall asleep, so that I was not energetic during the day and was always in a trance.

The difference is that before, I had to spend the long night alone under the quilt, but today, Yin Jingnan found out when Xiaoyan was crying in his dream. He hurriedly woke Xiaoyan up, wiped away the tears on the boy's face, Holding her in her arms, she whispered comfortingly.

"Don't be afraid, don't be afraid, I'm here."

Xiaoyan's eyes gradually regained clarity, but it was the overly clear sobriety when he dreamed back in the middle of the night that made people feel more uncomfortable. He choked up and raised his hand to gesture.

I dream about the baby.

He has been crying.

Yin Jingnan followed Xiaoyan's back tirelessly, and comforted him softly.

"That's a dream, it's fake."

"Yangyang is in the sky now, having a great time with the other babies."

Xiaoyan knew that Yin Jingnan's nice words were just to deceive him and make him happy, but he was still willing to believe that there was a heaven.

Asked gestures.

really?

"Well, really." Yin Jingnan said.

"He is looking at you in the sky. The baby must hope that his father will be happy and stop crying all the time."

"He definitely doesn't want to leave you, but he's sick and has no choice but to go to another place temporarily."

"If you have a baby in the future, maybe he will get into your stomach and come back to accompany you."

Xiaoyan looked at Yin Jingnan and gestured.

Will we ever have a baby?

In fact, it’s just a casual reassurance. When a person dies, he has nothing, and there is no way he will come back.

Yin Jingnan hesitated.

"I mean, if you have a lover in the future, you will definitely have a baby."

Xiaoyan understood what he meant.

Covering the sadness in his eyes with drooping eyes, he gestured calmly in sign language:

That's not the original one.

Yangyang is your baby and mine, if I have a baby with someone else, it will not be Yangyang.

At this time, it would be too cruel for Xiaoyan to explain the words too clearly, Yin Jingnan didn't continue this topic, and moved his warm palm from the back of Xiaoyan to the back of his head, and stroked it lightly.

"It's late, go to sleep."

"Otherwise it will be dawn."

Xiaoyan deeply understood that Yin Jingnan was nothing more than pity for him from the beginning to the end.

One day, he will still leave him.

The little mute can't speak, but he is not stupid.

The two slept until nine o'clock the next day. After waking up and having breakfast, Yin Jingnan made a cup of milk tea to watch TV with Xiaoyan at home, preparing to go out in the afternoon.

He found it difficult for Xiaoyan to concentrate. He was staring at the TV, but he looked like he didn't know what he was thinking, which was worrying.

Recalling the beginning, Xiaoyan loved to laugh.

He was only less than 20 years old, and he was already forced to bear things that he shouldn't have to bear. Seeing this, Yin Jingnan felt more and more guilty, and tried hard to think about how to make up for him.

It is impossible to give him another child.

Too inappropriate.

If that child hadn't been there, things wouldn't have turned out this way.

In the end, it was still his fault.

Yin Jingnan secretly determined to spend more time with Xiaoyan, so as to make up for him.

A sci-fi movie was playing on TV, and Xiaoyan stared at the screen in a daze.

The boy's side face looks very beautiful, with a straight nose bridge, pale complexion, his hair seems to be a little long, covering a small part of his ears, and he is wearing white home clothes, which makes him look too thin, with a kind of quiet life smell.

If the first person Yin Jingnan met was Xiaoyan, he would have fallen in love with him, but when he was hospitalized in a car accident two years ago, when he saw the small group of thin figures huddled in the doorway crying outside his ward, he gradually fell in love with him. up.

Even though Cheng Wen is married, has children, and started a family with others, such things as feelings cannot be said to be absent, nor can they fall in love with someone who is not bad.

Xiaoyan and Cheng Wen are very similar in many places, for example, they are also soft and need someone to take care of them, but Yin Jingnan deeply understands that Xiaoyan is Xiaoyan, and Cheng Wen is Cheng Wen, if he confuses the two, he is really sorry for the former.

It's just that he didn't expect that when he forced Xiaoyan to become stronger, he would indirectly kill the child.

Yin Jingnan didn't want to think about it anymore, and raised his hand to lift Xiaoyan's hair that covered his ears and put it behind his ears.

"After going to the supermarket in the afternoon, I'll take you to get your hair trimmed."

Xiaoyan nodded obediently.

The two of them went out at three o'clock in the afternoon, and went to a supermarket underground in a large shopping center nearby, which was much bigger than the one near the community.

Today was Wednesday, there were not many people in the supermarket at this point, Yin Jingnan took a cart at the entrance, and went to the fruit and vegetable section with Xiaoyan first.

Yin Jingnan was pushing the cart, Xiaoyan was walking beside him, Yin Jingnan turned his head and asked him.

"What do you want to eat?"

Xiaoyan was absent-minded, and it took him a long time to realize that Yin Jingnan was talking to him, looked up at him, and gestured.

I have nothing to eat.

"Then I'll just watch and choose." Yin Jingnan glanced at the fruits beside him and stopped.

"The mangosteen looks quite fresh."

I pulled a plastic bag and opened it, and was about to start picking mangosteens, when a familiar soft voice suddenly came from the opposite side.

"Brother Jingnan?"

Yin Jingnan raised his head and said pleasantly, "Xiao Wen? Why are you here?"

Cheng Wen was tightly wrapped, with a black wool cap on his head, a short black down jacket, and a red scarf, revealing a white and delicate face with his hands in his pockets, looking like a high school student.

he laughed.

"The baby's milk powder is gone. Ah Qing will accompany me to the supermarket to buy some milk powder and some food by the way."

"Where's brother Jingnan?"

"I'll go out with my cousin for a stroll." Yin Jingnan glanced at Xiaoyan who was beside him in a daze, and said warmly.

As soon as the words fell, Jian Qing pushed the shopping cart over from the vegetable area, saw Cheng Wen talking to Yin Jingnan, and pulled Cheng Wen away with a dark face.

Yin Jingnan picked out the mangosteen and was about to tell Xiaoyan to leave, but found that he was looking thoughtfully at the direction where Jian Qing and Cheng Wen left.

"what happened?"

Xiaoyan retracted his gaze, bowed his head and gestured.

"what……"

Have you ever been together?

Yin Jingnan frowned slightly, "No, I lied to you."

"I used to like Cheng Wen, but he has a lover now."

Xiaoyan was silent for a while, then asked softly with gestures.

"what……"

what about now.

"Yes." Yin Jingnan replied.

"I can't forget that so quickly."

Seeing that Xiaoyan stopped talking, Yin Jingnan picked up the packed bag of mangosteens, "Wait here for a while, I'll go and weigh things."

Just as Yin Jingnan was about to leave, Xiaoyan grabbed his sleeve and gestured hastily.

"what……"

If one day you forget him, is it possible that you like me.

The boy lowered his head, Yin Jingnan couldn't see his eyes were red, and told the truth.

"I do not know."

Then Yin Jingnan went to the place where fruits and vegetables were weighed.

Xiaoyan stayed where he was, surrounded by all kinds of people, most of whom had smiles on their faces, the hustle and bustle made him feel very painful.

Tears fell uncontrollably.

Suddenly, a baby lying in a stroller next to him attracted Xiaoyan's attention.

Babies who are one or two months old all look about the same, their faces are white and tender, and look very soft, just like his babies.

The two faces gradually overlapped.

Xiaoyan walked towards the child step by step as if in a daze. He stopped by the stroller and bent down to hug the baby. Just as he stretched out his hand, the father of the child who was picking fruits turned his head. Seeing Xiaoyan's behavior, his expression immediately changed. It changed, turned around and pushed Xiaoyan away, stood in front of the child vigilantly, pointed at him and cursed.

"What are you doing?! Trafficker?!"

Xiaoyan was pushed straight back, bumped into the fruit stand unsteadily, the man stepped forward and grabbed his arm, and said angrily.

"Come here! There are traffickers here, come and see!"

The huge force pinched Xiaoyan in pain, his face turned pale from the pain, he shook his head in panic, and tears rolled down silently.

"what……"

I'm not.

"Say! Are you trying to steal my child?!"

Such a big commotion quickly caused commotion, and people around began to point and point. When Yin Jingnan heard the commotion, he ran back as fast as he could, rescued Xiaoyan from the opponent's hand with a sullen face, and held him in his arms.

"Sorry, my brother didn't mean to."

"It's like this. Something happened to our family recently. My brother was stimulated. When he saw the child, he felt very kind. Maybe he wanted to touch him. He didn't mean anything malicious. I'm really sorry, don't be angry."

The man looked Yin Jingnan up and down, and snorted coldly, "It's best like this."

After speaking, he pushed the child away, and the crowd dispersed.

Yin Jingnan put his palm on Xiaoyan's back and caressed gently.

"It's alright, it's alright."

Xiaoyan buried her face in Yin Jingnan's arms, trembling and weeping muffledly.