touch the back of the unknown

I had a dream, but I can't remember it clearly, I only remember a faint figure.

I opened my eyes with a headache, Yan Wu fell asleep, and we both lay on the floor in a stiff posture. I looked at my watch and fell asleep for more than an hour.I stood up, hesitated, and then hugged Yan Wu, a princess hug.

Then I overestimated my own strength, and underestimated the weight of Yan Wu's tendons, and I almost lost my center of gravity and brought Yan Wu down, but luckily I didn't.I shook it a few times, carefully placed Yan Wu on the bed, covered the quilt with a pillow.

At that moment, I felt that there were a few bright and dazzling characters on my body - "Gentleness□□attack".

I started to sort out the ins and outs of the matter, and then suddenly felt something was wrong.

Yan Wu likes Shen Yu——Shen Yu knows——Shen Yu finds someone to beat him——Yan Wu doesn't come to school at home——Yan Wu avoids me.

No, I wondered, Yan Wu was hiding from Shen Yu, so why was he hiding from me?

And he even contacted Shen Yu and didn't contact me... I feel resentful when I think about it, shit, brothers are like siblings, women (men) are like clothes, and now I really saw my hands and feet cut off for clothes!

Good Yan Wu, I was grinding my teeth, and suddenly my arrogance softened again. After all, he was the one who came to look for me this semester, and the so-called friendship was only maintained by him unilaterally. If he didn’t look for me, neither would I. There is nothing to say.

I remembered a classmate who said to me: "He Yi, you are finally a bit human."

I don't know about the human taste. The condition is better, but it may be worse.

I remembered that I read a medical history record posted by a patient friend on the Internet. He said that he thought he was much better, so he stopped taking the medicine. After a period of time, he was sent directly to the mental hospital.

I looked down at Yan Wu, and then realized that he woke up at some point, and his eyes were still not looking at me.

"You're avoiding me." I said clearly.

Yan Wu was startled.

"...I like men." He said as if he had made up his mind, but he still didn't look at me, as if he was ready to die.

"Shen Yu?"

He crossed his arms over his eyes.

The answer is on paper.

"Don't you feel sick?" he asked softly, a little sarcastically.

I suddenly had an urge to tell him that I also like men, that I am also gay, although I am not as good-looking as Shen Yu, nor have his good grades, nor his good voice, nor his good sound, body, health, popularity, mentality, and problems, but I...

I... At least I won't find someone to beat you... This reason is really... What do I want to say?

Yan Wu seemed to think that I acquiesced, so he shrank back into the bed.

I suddenly leaned over, pressed against him, and asked, "Why haven't you come to school for a while?"

Yan Wu seemed a little flustered, put his arms down, glanced at me hastily, and continued to stare at Daye from the ceiling, "I stayed in the hospital for a while...and then my dad found out...he said...he wanted to know that I was gay would not have given birth to me... My mother stopped me if I was going to be kicked out of the house..."

His voice gradually quieted down, and I pressed on him again: "What about Shen Yu?"

Yan Wu's eyes darkened: "I... shouldn't let him know...but I can't help it..."

Can't help but kiss him?

I suddenly didn't want to mention this matter at all. When I mentioned the name Shen Yu, I clearly saw Yan Wu's expression changed for a moment, which was the kind I had never seen before.

I've done too many stupid things to add to this one.

"Tomorrow there will be Star Wars The Force Awakens in the cinema, go and see it." I suddenly laughed and stepped back.

I have to go now.

It's just that I don't want to leave at all.

Yan Wu sent me downstairs, and I kept smiling with a strange lightness.

"Tomorrow at three o'clock, don't forget, if you dare to let me go, it will be over."

Yan Wu looked at me with a complex and tangled face, and I knew what he was tangled up about.

"Don't you just like men?" I smiled brightly, and said something against my will, "What era is it? If others say it, let them say it."

I pointed at me, "I'm here."

Fortunately, my poor English didn't hold me back at this moment. Yan Wu understood and smiled, watching me ride my bike into the night.

"Hey——" he shouted, I had already ridden a long way, stopped and looked back at him, trying to make out his voice in the bleak wind.I couldn't see his figure anymore, I didn't expect him to still be standing there.

"That day—I'm sorry!!!"

I smiled and replied loudly: "It's okay——!"

Humming briskly, I rode back to the place I hated so much.

Things are always unsatisfactory, even for a guy like me who has almost no sense of existence, fate refuses to give me a little bit of luck.

The movie wasn't as exciting as I expected, and I'm so sad to watch my favorite character being killed by his son, while the second favorite character is asleep - God witness, I just pay attention to this most of the time The sinews of a male protagonist...and a perky butt.Apparently blacks are more to my liking than whites.

The heroine is beautiful...in my opinion.Slightly undersized, but I'd like her if I were straight... maybe I have feelings for women too?Or maybe I'm not gay but bisexual?

There was a sound of chewing popcorn coming from behind me, and several girls were chatting and laughing in low voices, a boy was on the left, a girl was on his left, and a boy was on the left of the girl... This weird 3P... I On the right is Yan Wu, who is concentrating on watching the movie. As an eye, I stuck the lens on the glasses awkwardly, feeling a little uncomfortable and dizzy.

The movie was over, and the audience walked out of the screening hall one after another. This movie is my treat, so Yan Wu wants to buy me a cup of coffee later—the devil knows what will happen if I drink more coffee at five o’clock in the afternoon. I said that if I want to drink mango milk, I will appear childish, and coffee will appear a little mature-but who knows where the instant coffee bought in the milk tea shop will appear mature.

I regretted the electric bike Yan Wu rode and the mountain bike I rode. I knew that Yan Wu would come to pick me up, so that I could put my arms around his waist...it was logical.

At this time, the boy sitting on my left while watching a movie said a few words to a man and a woman next to him, and then walked towards me.I immediately looked at him vigilantly, that boy had a very gentle and dangerous temperament, and I felt a strange aura of the same kind.Of course, it's not a gay breath.But something tinged with uneasiness.

He shook hands with me, the eyes under the glasses were smiling, he was not bad, he was taller than me, his hair was hanging down, which should have been a very refreshing hairstyle, but his face was blocked by bangs.

Yan Wu looked at us and said, "I'm going to push the cart."

I make an Elkang call in my heart.

Then I quickly noticed that the eyes of the boy in front of me fell on Yan Wu's back.

"My name is An Shun," he shook my hand vigorously again, "Long time no see."

I never met him.

"He Yi." I said.

He looked at me very intently, I didn't feel any discomfort, I just looked at An Shun, thinking what a weird person, he reminded me of another word - "beautiful Japanese boy".

Or beautiful youth?

His voice is relatively deep, very educated, more honest.I've never seen him before, I'm sure.

"This is my mobile phone number," he handed me a note, "you can come to me for anything, especially about Yan Wu."

Alarm bells were ringing in my heart.

"So ashamed." He nodded, turned and walked towards the girl who was waiting for him.

I vaguely remember Kurt Vonnegut saying it.

I looked at the note, the font looked very upright, with a sense of righteousness, and there was a sentence under the number.

"All human suffering is essentially anger at one's own incompetence."

Wang Xiaobo.

I smiled and stuffed the note in my pocket.