touch the back of the unknown

In English class, the teacher asked me a question. I was distracted and didn't listen to the class.Bite the bullet and pulled out an answer, sat down, felt the nerves all over my body trembling and tense, my right hand held the pen tightly, and then let go, imagining holding a dagger in my back hand, and stabbing it down hard. , Flesh and blood splattered.

I firmly pressed the artery in my right arm with my left hand, felt the beating of the pulse, and finally calmed down a little.I turned my head and looked out the window, there was not even sunshine today.The sky was overcast.

I was suddenly cold, but my skin was extremely hot and my stomach was screaming in pain.

I suddenly wanted to listen to the song, I lowered my head deeply, suppressed the frenzied rage and impulse, and slowly buried my consciousness, and I could no longer feel anything else.

I thought of that boy, the boy I bumped into in the hallway, and his smiling eyes.

Danger, danger, warning.

The idea is too beautiful, and my spirit will collapse when it meets reality.So I've been trying to control my perceptions and images.And the suppression caused by this kind of control also caused my emotions to fluctuate violently.

As if redeemed, I finally heard the bell for the end of get out of class, got up, and left school.Looking at the students outside the classroom, I carried my schoolbag and walked forward stiffly, as if I had fallen into another layer of hell.

The hand in my pocket is always ready, holding the jackknife unrelentingly.

I got tapped on the shoulder.

After an almost invisible pause, I turned back with a smile on my face. The wind blew away my hair, and I narrowed my eyes uncomfortably. The figure of the boy stopped in front of me until my eyes slowly focused. Put on a smile, not a fake one like me, although it is well disguised, but a real, pure one.

Stop, stop, I said to myself, taking my eyes off his dick.

Yan Wu smiled and said, "Thank you that day...well, what's your name?"

my name?ask this?Why are you asking this?

I suddenly started to feel irritable, wanting to chop the few people around me into pieces, and then...

Shut up!I yelled to myself inwardly.

My head started to hurt, I clutched it tightly, looked at me with a hypocritical smile from a distance and said:

"My name is He Yi."

Yan Wu frowned, and then said, "Well...you smile so fake."

what did he say?

I heard the sound of my soul being sucked into a vacuum.

He continued: "Don't laugh if you don't want to laugh, I don't care anyway."

He said that my smile was fake, but I know that most people don't notice it, because they don't care about it at all, and I can't even tell the difference between my genuine smile and my deliberate smile.

Outspoken and a little reckless, I judge.

What was he thinking about?Why did he say that?What is his intention?

Several fragments flashed through my brain in an instant, and my consciousness operated separately and independently, but while I was getting multiple conclusions, I myself stood there blankly.

Is he the same kind?I'm guessing maliciously, but I don't believe in the so-called gay da, and besides, I don't have such a thing.

He smiled again: "He Yi, right? How about making friends?"

It's so strange, is the thinking of normal people so strange?I feel like I can't understand his current behavior, his way of thinking, and I don't know how to respond to him.

I imagined that as written in the novel, there should be a wind blowing across my cheek at this time, I smiled and stretched out my hand and said yes... But I am not a character in the novel, I don’t have soft hair and a fresh white shirt, so I Can't do that either.

Because this is acting, I think it will be seen by him.

But I can't say what I really think either.

What is a friend?

friend?what's the effect?What do you need to pay?is it required?By what means?What is a true friend?Why does he want to be friends with me?

I heard my heart beating, blood flowing slowly, I suddenly wanted to jump from a tall building, in the infinite darkness, I couldn't see anything.

What is he talking about, I hear time slowly stop, stagnate, become viscous.

Disgusting?

Yan Wu didn't know why he got a little closer to me, maybe he just wanted to know my answer, but I could smell him.

It is a refreshing human smell, not too much sweat, and some clothes fabrics.

My trachea, which was always panting, was not uncomfortable at all.

I said: "OK."

Then he didn't speak.

The other voices seemed to disappear, I turned my head to look at him, he seemed a little... at a loss?

I suddenly wanted to laugh, why did he feel overwhelmed when he said it first?

Or is he just not the straight-talking type?

Yan Wu opened his mouth, cautiously: "Uh... then... I'm free to come and play with you?"

The strange continuation of the sentence always feels not smooth, as if it was thought of on the spur of the moment.

I began to hate myself for not being able to play, my unlucky body, and my incompetent legs.

"I...can't play ball."

Yan Wu seemed surprised: "You don't know how to play?"

He seems to think that playing basketball is a necessary skill for boys... But I only know how to play badminton, and I haven't played any sports since my leg was injured.

I suddenly felt a deep sense of frustration.

I have summed up several skills that seem to be necessary for boys, such as playing basketball, whistling, and snapping fingers.

But all I can do is snap my fingers...not yet.

I suddenly thought that if he taught me how to play... Then I continued to look at my legs in frustration, even if Yan Wu was willing to teach me how to play, my legs would not work.

Yan Wu noticed my gaze and asked hesitantly, "Your leg...?"

"Old problem... Those who can run and jump will suffer from pain."

After running and jumping, walking is uncoordinated...

I wanted to change the subject, so I asked casually, "Where do you live?"

Yan Wu was stunned for a moment and then said: "8, Building 701, Chenyang District..."

8, Building 701, Chenyang Community, I quickly remembered this address and added it to the memo in my mind.

When I finally arrived at the school gate, I saw the white car from a distance, and I said goodbye to Yan Wu.

Then I walked far away, stopped again, and saw Yan Wu rolling out an old-fashioned bicycle from the shed.

Although I'm new to mountain bikes and have one at home... I glanced at the back of the old bike.

The back of Yan Wu riding the bike gradually became smaller, I opened the door and got in.

Then my face seemed to be torn off a layer of mask, with a disgusting indifference expression, and the mother in the driver's seat had the same expression as mine.

I smelled it, and there was a disgusting, rancid smell in the car.