january love

46

pair drink

The next day Ye Qing brought two bottles of red wine, each poured a glass and sat cross-legged in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows of the room. The room was well heated and the thick carpet was very comfortable. Duanmulian shook the liquid in the glass thoughtfully , Ye Qing lightly touched his cup, took a sip, and asked.

"What are you thinking?"

"Thank you for being willing to drink with me." Duanmulian looked at the desolate snow outside the window, and answered the question absent-mindedly.

"I can do anything for you." Ye Qing didn't mind the other party's absence, and added, "You don't drink well, drink less."

"Ye Qing...Can I get drunk?" Duanmulian still couldn't let go of his guard, he carefully looked up at the man next to him, he didn't look at Ye Qing for a long time, he seemed to feel that his indifferent face was not so cold.

"Don't ask for my advice on everything. I'll take care of you when I'm drunk, and I'll accompany you no matter what."

"I... will not trouble you."

Ye Qing scratched the tip of Duanmulian's nose and said, "I can accept everything about you, don't be so restrained, okay?"

"Thank you." Duanmu Lian raised his head and took a sip sullenly. The sweet and fragrant taste of the red wine rushed into his lungs. He smiled wryly, "I didn't expect that we would have the opportunity to sit here and drink, and we still have such a relationship."

"I think what is our relationship now?"

Duanmulian hesitated for a while and finally said, "Buyers and... the goods."

Ye Qing's hands pouring wine for him paused, only then did he realize that the little guy's positioning of the two of them was so biased, he had always understood Duanmulian's self-abased and self-ashamed character, but he didn't expect the other party to belittle himself to this extent.

"Do you still see yourself as an outsider after all this time?"

"Because...you made me see my situation clearly." Duanmulian held his wine glass nervously with his eyes dodged. He would rather rot in his stomach than say such words, but why was he unexpectedly calm when facing a man? Is it the effect of the alcohol or does Ye Qing have this magical power that makes people speak the truth.

"You misunderstood, it was my angry words, don't take it to heart." Ye Qing was a little annoyed that he was too impulsive at the time, this child is naturally sensitive and likes to think wildly, and in the end he did everything by himself without saying a word, "I hope Don't worry about it so much, I still like you to live like yourself."

"But I can't do anything." Duanmulian's eyes wandered a little. He is a poor man isolated by the world. Only the companionship of alcohol can numb those horrible injuries and pains. a cup.

Ye Qing didn't stop him, he lifted Duanmulian's bangs and kissed, "You are the first person I feel happy with, so don't insult yourself."

Duanmulian swallowed the wine in his mouth and touched the place where the man kissed just now. He was a little drunk but sober, and said in a daze, "I'm not good enough for you."

Ye Qing leaned over to cover his lips to prevent him from giving up on himself, the man tentatively inserted his tongue into his mouth, and licked it carefully, this ambiguous kiss was extremely gentle, Duan Mulian opened his mouth slightly and let the other person move, dumbfounded Stunned like a marionette, he loathes himself a little, and somewhere in his heart is clamoring, no, it's not like this, something has slowly changed, what is it...

Duanmulian was kissed in a daze and didn't know when he was put on the ground, Ye Qing put his knee/knee between his legs, sucking his saliva even more violently, but he was afraid but couldn't refuse.

Duanmulian's head became more and more dizzy under the infiltration of alcohol, but there was always a trace of rationality unwilling to sink, and he tried his best to pursue the precarious consciousness. He suddenly smiled and finally understood.

Ye Qing's compassionate tenderness made the worthless him terrified, like a soft knife lingering, more cruel than violence, more insidious than slander, more direct than ridicule, it turned out that the reason everything changed was because The bloody sympathy and pity, like a voice repeatedly emphasizing that he has nothing and is alone.The man blindly gave him tenderness, unlike simple harm, which made him justified to stand up and refute. Compassion could only add pain to him but he could not refuse. Everything stemmed from unequal sacrifices and demands.

Duanmulian succumbed to his self-esteem that was riddled with holes, and finally understood the reason why he was so sad.

Ye Qing tasted the aroma of the wine in Duanmulian's mouth, and then lightly kissed the white neck with red marks, he wanted to continue, but stopped when he saw Duanmulian biting his lower lip and forbearance, This guy didn't make a sound or refuse, but silently handed himself over, but his eyes full of drunkenness clearly showed his reluctance.

Ye Qing kissed the corner of his mouth and picked him up to lean on his shoulder, Duan Mulian rubbed Ye Qing's soft shirt, feeling comfortable but didn't dare to snuggle too much.

"Look, it's snowing."

Duanmulian raised his eyes and looked at the white catkins floating outside the window, falling on the roof and treetops, staining a large area of ​​sight, covering the original color of everything and covering it with biting cold, the life buried in the snow shivered and could not protect itself , but everything looks so vast and magnificent, like Ye Qing cast a haze called emotion on him, and pulled him out with tenderness mixed with sympathy, he had no reason to blame this man, he was just humiliated That stubbornness is at work.

"Ye Qing, don't be so nice to me..."

"you're worth it."

Duanmu Lianqiang resisted the urge to cry and stood up, staggered to the bathroom like a fleeing clown, locked the door with trembling hands, leaned against the wall and kept sobbing and wiping away tears, feeling that he had never been so embarrassed Never been so confused.

He was born wandering and curled up in a dark and cold corner. People who are not worthy of being loved will be terrified when they receive a greeting suddenly. Because he firmly believes that he will not be treated tenderly, he thinks that all understanding is a knife. In the past, he still had value. Self-deceived to accept the man's kindness, but now he has an empty body and can't live peacefully in tenderness.

Duanmulian slapped cold water on his face indiscriminately, trying to wake himself up, knocked a lot of things on the sink in a panic, and fell to the ground in pieces, but his increasingly stiff hands and mind were paralyzed , he couldn't commit himself to deceiving his heart to be content with the status quo, he didn't want to face such an incompetent self, he didn't want Ye Qing to suffer with him, in the end, that damn strong mentality was like a huge net, entangled him no.

The author has something to say: the countdown to the end~