ten years love letter

[21]

Kazuki reads Shiba's diary carefully.

Some of these things that Shiba wrote, Kazuki still remembers, some he no longer remembers.

——But Shiba remembered everything.

Be it the kindness or malice of others, Zhibo remembers them all clearly.

Those childish words seemed to let Kazuki see the crystal-like sensitive boy and the youthful time they spent together.

It turned out that he was aware of my tenderness towards Mr. Aoki.

It was great to be friends with Aoki-san back then.

He Shu stared fixedly at the computer screen.

——But, Aoki-san, why didn't you come that day?

The diary is getting closer and closer to that day.

The heart that had been numb for a long time in Heshu's chest began to beat violently.

What happened that day?

He Shu was so nervous, as nervous as he was looking forward to that day ten years ago.

Finally, that day has arrived.

Kazuki read the diary of that day.

[22]

"April 2002, 3

Dad knows all about it.

I don't know how my father knew my feelings for Heshu, he even knew that I was going to say it today, and my father knew everything.

I thought Dad would be angry, I was so scared.I'm afraid he will scold me.

But Dad didn't scold me.

Dad actually cried.

My father knelt on the ground, wept bitterly and said to me: "Zhibo, don't abandon me like your mother did."

I said, "I didn't abandon you."

Dad immediately ordered me: "Then you don't bring more shame to the Aoki family!"

I am speechless.

For the first time in 18 years, I saw my unsmiling father also show a human-like pleading expression.

I used to think that I didn't care about my dad, and my dad didn't care about me, but I didn't expect that I actually cared about my dad more than I imagined, and my dad also cared about me more than I imagined.

Dad locked me up, he didn't allow me to go out.

Heshu, I'm sorry, you must have been waiting for me all night, right?You are such a serious person.

will you forgive me

I won't even forgive myself.

"April 2002, 4

Dad wouldn't let me go out or even answer the phone. "

"April 2002, 4

Dad finally allowed me to go out.

I went to Kazuki's house, but there was no one in his house.

Neighbors said Kosugi's family moved to Tokyo.

How could this be?

How could this be?

Heshu, so what you wanted to say to me that day was moving?

I'm so sad, it turned out that I misunderstood.

Heshu, if I really said that sentence to you that day, how would you react to me?

If you hesitate, even just a little bit, I won't have the courage to live anymore. "

"April 2002, 4

I accidentally saw Kazuki's approximate address in Tokyo from the high school head teacher.

Dad will definitely catch me back before I get to the station.

Should I go to Heshu?

Should I disturb his life?

I know, if I go to him, he will forgive me, he is such a kind person!

But should I use my feelings to ruin his life? "

"April 2002, 5

By the way, I entered Tanizaki Art University.

I'm so surprised that my father didn't object to my art study.

Tanizaki is very close to Haiqiu, and I can go back to Haiqiu town on weekends.

In fact, if I go all the way along the train, I will arrive in Tokyo.

Heshu, you said before that I would be an artist, and now I really want to be an artist.

When you see me again, you will definitely say "Sure enough, you are such a style".

Just thinking of you smiling makes me happy too.

Kazuki, how are you doing in Tokyo?

Although we are separated, I always think about you in my heart, so I don't feel lonely at all, I always feel that you are by my side. "

[23]

After that, Shiba's diary became a record of college life.

Zhibo's college life is very busy, he learned a lot, made many new friends, and entered a whole new world.

Shiba is very talented, and Kazuki is really proud of him.

It was not until two years later that Zhibo mentioned Kazuki again in his diary.

[24]

"April 2004, 10

Professor Miyashita is going to hold a solo exhibition in Tokyo, and all of us students are going to join us.

Kazuki, I'm going to Tokyo, I wonder if I can meet you on the streets of Tokyo? "

"April 2004, 10

Kazuki, I stayed in Tokyo for seven days.

I went to find you based on the vague address I got at the beginning, but I didn't meet you by chance. Life is really not a cartoon.

I have been walking around the neighborhood where you live for a long time, thinking to myself, so this is where Heshu lives?

Has Kazuki ever drank in this izakaya?

Has Kazuki ever bought anything at this store?

The old man sitting on the street basking in the sun must see Heshu every day, right?I really envy him.

For some reason, I think that neighborhood is so beautiful!

However, there are too many people in Tokyo.

This city is full of noise every second, Heshu, I don't know how you can endure such a tense life, maybe you are stronger than I imagined. "

"April 2005, 1

Another year passed.

Dad said to me, you guys should go to class reunions once in a while, so I went.

I really didn't expect that I actually got Kazuki's phone number at the class reunion!

This incident was so unbelievable, I just said casually: "I haven't seen Kosugi-san for a long time."

Immediately someone said: "I have Xiaoshan's phone number here, do you want it?" Then he wrote me Heshu's phone number.

I can't believe that Heshu's phone is in my hand so easily? "

"April 2005, 1

He Shu, I dare not call you.

will you forgive me

If you forgive me, I won't forgive myself either.

I want to escape, all I can do is escape...

The person I met at the class reunion last time told me, Kazuki, you went to a very good university in Tokyo, and you will definitely work in a big company in the future.

He Shu, are you still the boy in my memory?

Are you forcing yourself to conform to society?Or, have you really changed?

I really want you to live the life you love.

No matter who you are with or what kind of life you live, as long as you are truly happy, I will be happy too. "

[25]

For the next three years, Zhibo was so busy working as a designer that he didn't even remember much in his diary.

Kazuki speculates that Zhibo must be devoting himself to work, trying to use work to numb his emotions.

It's the same with trees.

He continued to look down the diary, and he could feel himself catching up with Shiba's unhurried pace.

Those ten years of missing time are gently revealing their true face to He Shu.

[26]

"April 2008, 2

Kazuki, I saw it snowing in Tokyo today on TV.

Haiqiu Town is extremely cold, and many people in the design office have caught colds. The situation this year is really difficult.

How are you doing in Tokyo?

I want someone to take care of you, I would be very jealous of that person, but I'm also grateful for that person.

As long as you can be happy, I can also smile. "

"April 2009, 9

He Shu, my work has won an award!

People from the TV station came to interview me, they looked so serious, I was a little scared, so I asked my partner to be interviewed.

After returning home, I regretted it.

It occurred to me that if you watch TV, maybe you will see me.

I should be interviewed.

How about I get another big prize?

Hehe, just kidding. "

"April 2010, 11

Heshu, I met my junior high school classmate today.

That kid used to throw my textbooks in the trash can, and although he won't admit it, I know he did, and he now has two daughters.

We met on the street, I didn't want to talk to him, but he stopped me.

I'm almost 30, but when he calls my name, I'm the kid again.

I dare not refuse him, my hands were shaking at that time...

In the end I had to buy him a beer.

He keeps talking about his daughter like an idiot, I just don't recognize him.

At night, I went home and slept for a while, and I actually dreamed about junior high school.

That guy was holding two little girls and grinning at me, that scene was horrible...

I had to put on my headphones and turn up the volume to the max.

Heshu, what do you look like now?

Do you remember what I look like?

Even if you have changed, it doesn't matter, I still want to see you.

——No, does that really matter?

I hesitated again, I really hate myself like this. "

"April 2011, 3

today is my birthday.

It will be ten years in a flash, and all the things I want to do have been completed.

It's so strange, many people spend their entire lives realizing their dreams, but I don't have any regrets after only ten years.

Now, my only wish is to let you understand my heart, but I am so afraid to hear your answer.

I am a windmill, if there is no wind, I will not turn by myself.

I have been waiting for the wind to come, waiting for the wind to come, I am waiting for a miracle that will never come...

Heshu, are you already married?

Before you know it, this diary seems to have become a love letter to you alone.

Sometimes, I worry that if I do meet you, I may not be able to chat with you normally.

Missing you has become a part of me, but the long separation has wiped out all my courage. "

"April 2012, 1

Maybe it's because the job has been stabilized, Heshu, I always think of you recently.

I saw a news on TV that many old people died alone in their apartment after being celibate all their lives.I'm afraid I'll die alone too! "

"April 2012, 3

Today is my birthday again.

The people at the design office threw me a party, but the previous news was too scary for me, so I contacted the law firm to make a will.

Heshu, I leave all my inheritance to you.

Who else but you?

I sincerely hope that this will will never come in handy.

But it occurred to me that if this will really comes in handy, then you will definitely return to High Hill.You'll come to my apartment and you'll take over from me.

At that time, you may understand my intention, right?

In that case, my only wish in this life will be automatically fulfilled. "

"April 2012, 8

Heshu, it has been ten years since we parted from you.

I drank a lot today, and I finally worked up the courage to buy a ticket to Tokyo.

Tenth anniversary, that's a good excuse to meet up, right?

Forgive me for being timid, I only dare to use this excuse to approach you.

If you are not married, I plan to ask you in a joking tone: "How about being with me? You can go back to Haiqiu Town, or I will go to Tokyo to develop."

How would you answer me?

I know, I'm not a good joker, I'm bound to make the atmosphere very awkward.

However, this time I must speak out.

For some reason, there has been a teenage impulse in my heart recently, and I don't want to let life wear it down.

God, is my windmill turning at last?

I'm leaving tomorrow, so I have to pack my bags quickly today. "

[27]

This is the last diary entry written by Shiba Aoki.

Just 10 minutes after writing this diary, Shiba Aoki went downstairs to go shopping in a convenience store, but unfortunately died in a car accident.

[28]

If only we had been a little braver.

[29]

Heshu went to the beach alone.

The delicate yellowish moonlight illuminates the light blue night sky, and the slender waves gently lap the sandy beach.

He Shu faced the sea and said softly:

"Aoki-san, I know what you mean."

"I know you're a coward. Your personality doesn't match your appearance at all."

"But it wasn't your fault, and that's okay."

"Really, it's okay."

"Thank you for liking me."

The transparent sea water washes the beach over and over again, but the sea water cannot take away anything.

Tears blurred vision.

Like a boy, Kazuki choked and said:

"Shiba, I like you too."

[30]

2012, autumn.

Kazuki quit his high-paying job at a big corporation in Tokyo.

He returned to Haiqiu Town and opened a cafe with Aoki's inheritance.

The business of his cafe is very mediocre, and the usual customers include housewives from the town, high school students, children, tourists, and lonely old people.

When the coffee shop is on break, Kazuki will also go to Haiqiu High School. He is now the sprint coach of the track and field club.He has a cheerful personality and is very popular with the students.

Heshu likes this kind of life very much.

When staying with the children, He Shu can ignore the marks left on him by the years.

He was that boy again.

Once, a few high school girls who often came to the store for coffee pestered him and asked, "Uncle Xiaoshan, why don't you get married?"

He Shu smiled and replied: "Because the person I like has died."

"Ah, I'm sorry..." The girls showed a look of fear.

He Shu smiled, and said softly: "Everyone will die. People you hate, people you like, everyone will die. Death is nothing to be afraid of, and there is nothing to be sad about. "

The girls smiled shyly, and said, "What a pity."

He Shu shook his head and said seriously: "No, I'm very happy now. He likes me, and I like him too. Even death can't change this."

"He?" The girls were surprised, "So uncle likes boys?"

He Shu smiled without saying a word.

He lives his life seriously, as long as he lives happily, that person can be happy too.

By the time Heshu realized it, decades had passed.

And the tree is old.

He handed over the coffee shop to newcomers and lived an ordinary old life in a single apartment.

When the trivial life becomes fragmented, the real emotion emerges.

Just as Zhibo said, as long as Kazuki thinks about him all the time, he doesn't feel lonely at all, as if Zhibo is always by Kazuki's side.

In Heshu's heart, they still look like teenagers.

Still such a shy smile, such a simple life, and such a beautiful youth.

He always dreams of their first meeting.

The weather was really hot that day, and the endless blue sea was transpiring with colorful atmosphere.

In the long alley, Zhibo walked ahead wearing headphones.

He Shu walked behind with a soda, and couldn't help shouting: "You idiot, stop walking with headphones on!"

Zhibo seemed to have never heard of it.

When he reached the entrance of the alley, he turned around.

In front of the sparkling sea, at the entrance of a small alley, the boy was turning around.

His profile was as clear as a crystal, and his white shirt was bulging with the sea breeze.

According to the real situation, in the next second, Zhibo would walk out of the alley and disappear into the sea of ​​people.

But in the dream, he would stop.

Zhibo turned around, looked at Kazuki steadfastly, and said in a low voice, "Yes."

He Shu stuffed the soda into his schoolbag, quickened his pace and ran over, and shouted with a smile, "Are you waiting for me?"

Zhibo replied indifferently: "I have been waiting for you."

"Really?" He Shu said happily, "Then you have to wait for me forever."

"Yeah." Zhibo nodded, those pale brown pupils were really gentle.

"Are you ready?"

"Well, we've made an appointment."

A silent death is also a grand confession.

Ten years of time gathered into ten years of love letters.

In those love letters there are windmills that don't turn,

There is a sea that chokes and cries,

There are endless memories,

With trivial and busy life,

There are wounds that cannot heal,

There is a redemption as warm as spring,

There are no endless thoughts,

Also, love that never stops.

Don't be afraid of death, everyone dies, there is nothing to be afraid of.

I will live my own life well and spend every day seriously.

When that day comes, we will meet again in heaven.

I will stand proudly in front of you and say loudly, "You idiot, look how much longer I live than you!"

At that time, what expression will you show?

You must be smiling.

Then we can be together forever.

"Forever is always!"

"Oh, it should always be forever, right?"

-Finish-