Encounter

Not long after Shen Mo left, Xia Yuming woke up. He didn't wake up by himself, but was awakened by a soft sigh like a breeze.

"Those who died on my tree have never tasted the pain of losing their lives."

Xia Yuming opened his eyes suddenly, the ceiling was still the same, white but unclean, it was already stained with dust, and there were yellow-gray traces on the sides and corners, which were not very obvious, but could be discerned by looking at it for a second or two .

He is at home.

Xia Yuming turned around, hugged himself and curled up.

There was a buzzing sound in his ears, his head was dizzy, and his consciousness was not very clear. After a while, Xia Yuming also woke up as the tinnitus gradually disappeared.

He stared blankly ahead and whispered, "He's right."

After finishing speaking, he raised his voice and repeated what he just said.

"He was right."

who I am?What is the meaning of my life?The eternal proposition of philosophy.

Everyone has thought about similar questions. Some people have found a presumed meaning for their lives, convinced themselves, and moved on. Some people have never found the answer in their lives but never gave up.

There are also people who think about this question and then forget about it and don't think about it and don't respond, because they can't die, and if they can't die, they must live, and since they are alive, it is sometimes meaningless to ask this question.

But what if you are living on the edge of life and death?

What is it to be alive?Is there happiness in that?Does it contain happiness?

Some people say that true heroism is to love life after knowing its essence.

So what happens before you know this essence?Are people, other people, loving life?

Xia Yuming never loved life. In his memory, he seemed to throw everything away and move forward in the panic of "young people don't work hard and the boss is sad" every day, as if taking a step back is a precipice.

Work harder and harder, push yourself, work hard, he is excellent, he has been doing well, he is a good boy who is loved, he has been living like this until his "boss" will never come again At that moment, he realized his life and the empty and mottled nature behind it.

Everything about him is an attic in the air based on other people's visions. When everything is gone, what is supporting this difficult life?

His heart has stayed in the cage of warmth for too long, like a canary, unable to fly out.

This is the nature of his life, and he knows it soberly but has no courage to face it, and can only ignore it all and walk forward numbly, because his reason succumbs to his powerful survival instinct.

He didn't want to live much, but he was extremely afraid of death.

He didn't want to choose death.

Why did he choose death, why did he choose such a thing, he obviously did nothing wrong.

He is clearly innocent.

Is it not?Obviously that's how it should be.

He tried his best, he has never done anything illegal, and has been living an ordinary life. He is not perfect in morality, but he has not done too much wrong.

Is he wrong?He is not wrong?

It's just because of other people's selfishness, so why should he give up everything?

Life is not easy, he has worked hard for more than [-] years, now that the overall situation is the most important thing, should all these efforts be squandered?

He wasn't that unwilling, really, but he didn't want to cut it off with his own hands.

Is this wrong?

Is it wrong to want to live like everyone else?

Doesn't he deserve this treatment?Among the peers around him, he was more obedient than anyone else, more self-disciplined than anyone else, and worked harder than anyone else. Isn't he worth it? Isn't it worth it?

He thought he was worth it, he should be worth it, didn't he?

But people are always working hard, thinking that as long as they suffer and suffer, they can get what they want, but they forget that hard work is very important, and the direction of hard work is also very important.

The flower demon was right, he was just a giant baby, he lost his vigilance under the wings of his parents, and didn't really see everything in this world with his own eyes.

If, if I realized it earlier, would everything be different?At least not like now, caught in the middle helplessly, waiting to die but not wanting to die.

If none of this happened, if...if...

Xia Yuming suddenly remembered the hypothesis of the flower demon. If all this had never happened, then would such an obedient, weak and indifferent person pull another irrelevant person to get married, have children, and drag the other person's life into a lie? With hell?

He suddenly became frightened, the scent seemed to come up again but it didn't seem to be there.His mind is clear and as if he is still in the room with trees, he thinks of the flower demon's loud condemnation.

"No one in this world loves you anymore and no one needs you anymore. You are ugly, mean and cowardly, and you dare not even look at yourself like this. Xia Yuming, it's not that you don't have to bear sins if you don't commit crimes. Your heart is dirty and ugly. You live It must be painful and depressing. Why insist on it?"

His head hurt again, and his limbs began to convulse. Look, he heard his own voice saying that people are always looking for a moral excuse for their selfish desires. There are more villains in the world than real villains. are hypocrites.

You are a hypocrite, Xia Yuming.

You have no desire to live and no reason to live.

"you are not."

Shen Mo's voice was like a cold and sharp sword piercing the air to disperse distracting thoughts, Xia Yuming's headache suddenly disappeared.

"That's a deceptive sorcery, just don't listen to it."

Shen Mo put his things aside, walked to the edge of the bed and sat down, the black ponytail tied behind him swayed slightly with his movements.

Xia Yuming stared at Shen Mo without saying a word, after a while he smiled lightly, "I thought you were very pretty the first time I saw you, the prettiest one I have ever seen."

"Creatures like us tend to be more beautiful the stronger they are. I am very strong."

"Yes, you are very strong."

After Xia Yuming finished speaking, he fell silent again, and Shen Mo didn't answer, but just patiently looked at the human lying on the bed.

"I lied to you."

Shen Mo curled his fingers, feeling a bad premonition in his heart, "There are always some lies between people..."

"I said you liked me before, that was a lie."

The dark clouds outside the window gathered at some point, covering the sky and blocking out the sun, and the wind and rain were about to come.

"what are you saying?"

"I said, you don't like me. You just wanted to live when you said that."

"Then what do you mean now?"

"I probably figured it out, such a naive lie is really despicable."

"Then you, don't you want to live?"

Xia Yuming didn't answer, Shen Mo asked again, this time his voice was very soft, "The so-called figured it out, does it mean that you don't want to live?"

Shen Mo stood up, stood on the edge of the bed and looked down at Xia Yuming. A bolt of lightning flashed outside the window, illuminating the whole world for a moment, and then rumbling thunder came from the sky.

"It's just a little flower demon's low-level spells that have bewitched you so far, Xia Yuming, you've let me down so much."

In the dim sky, Shen Mo's eyes gradually glowed with a bloodthirsty red light, like a preying monster looking at the weak food under his claws, "If you talk about deceiving people, who can compare to me?"

He raised his hand and unbuttoned Xia Yuming's clothes one by one, slowly, with a strange magic in his voice, "Am I good-looking? A Ming?"

Xia Yuming felt that his limbs were cold, but the skin on his chest was burned by Shen Mo's touch, and he panicked.

"Amin, until now, we haven't done it yet. I'll give you a chance to choose. Do you want to be above or below?"

Shen Mo sat on it, Xia Yuming's mind seemed to explode with thousands of white lights.

It shouldn't be like this, he wanted to wave Shen Mo away but was grabbed by the other party.

"If you don't want to be above, then be below."

Outside, it was raining heavily.