Bear Diary

Friday, August 2010, 8

It rained heavily as soon as I went out. Fortunately, I was driving.This kind of plot makes me a little embarrassed, like the plot in a vulgar sensational literary film.Is it true that art comes from life?

I called the deputy squad leader. His voice sounded hoarse and weak. He was surprised to hear that I wanted to see him right now.For so many years, I never imagined that the deputy squad leader's home is only ten minutes away from where I live.I climbed up the dark and dilapidated corridor and found the door of his house, a rusty anti-theft door. The wall next to it had already turned yellow, and a large piece of wall dust had peeled off.

The person who opened the door was a middle-aged woman, most of the hair near the root was almost white, and it was tied casually behind her. There were many wrinkles on her face, and the two eyebrows were as deep as a knife carving.The middle-aged woman welcomed me in with a smiling face. The living room of the house is small, but there are a lot of things. Maybe it has been tidied up, and it doesn't look messy.The deputy squad leader was sitting on the sofa, saw me coming, and wanted to get up to meet me. Seeing his trembling appearance, I quickly stopped him and sat next to him.

"You are Xiaowen's middle school classmate, right? It's been a long time since no one came to see him." The middle-aged woman was very happy that I could come, and said so happily while looking for a glass to pour water for me. "I don't know what's going on this time. My high school classmates came here a few days ago, and today my junior high school classmates came again. Come more, come more..."

I hurriedly told my aunt not to be busy, saying that I was not thirsty.I pretended to glance at the deputy squad leader casually, but when I saw the name he left in the text message, it took me a long time to remember that it was him.Looking back, he was a handsome guy, tall and tall. I was about 165 when I was in the first grade of junior high school. He was half a head taller than me, and his body seemed to be very strong, but now he has become fatter than me.He said it was edema, and he looked haggard.Then he told his mother that he wanted to have a chat with me alone, and the aunt said very understandingly that she would go out to buy some food, and despite my refusal, insisted that I finish my lunch before leaving.It's still raining heavily outside...

Once my aunt is gone, I don't have to pretend to know him very well. "How did you know about my phone number? Is that text message mean?"

"My high school monitor told me that it's called Ayang." His tone was very cautious, as if he was afraid that I would get angry.He tried to smile, but it didn't look good.To be honest, I can't recognize him at all from his appearance, because the total number of meetings outside will not exceed ten times, but his accent with a Northeast flavor and the scar that creases out of the bridge of the nose remind me it's him.The Yang in his mouth is the boss of my roommate in the university, I didn't expect to have such a relationship, the world is really wonderful.

"Your body..." He said in a text message that he didn't have much time, but wanted to see me, and wanted to say something to me.If it weren't for this, I wouldn't be able to understand it.Seeing his appearance now, he really looked like a dying person.

"Chronic renal failure has developed into uremia." When he described his condition, he was surprisingly calm, as if he had accepted the worst consequences.

"Is there no way to cure it?"

"For a kidney replacement, it would require a lot of money." He smiled again, self-deprecating. "Hehe, let's not talk about this. I called you here for something else."

"What's the matter?" He didn't say anything and I already wanted to get to the point.

"Back in junior high school, our monitor..." He didn't seem to know what to say, he hesitated for a while before making up his mind and holding his breath. "At that time, I said that the words of our monitor were not intentional. At that time, I was young and ignorant. Over the years, I have occasionally thought of this matter, and I have always felt uncomfortable. Recently, I often think of it. It's not retribution, let me experience this feeling too. Just two days ago, the old monitor came to visit me, and I didn't expect you two to be classmates in college, so I asked for your phone number." He seemed relieved at this point . "Hehe, it's been so many years, I don't know if you still remember the incident at that time, but I think you should remember the bridge of my nose?" He touched his nose and smiled again. I don't know why, but I feel a little sad.

"Those things are in the past, I have long forgotten. Besides, you were not talking about me, but I was too impulsive at the time. I don't think Fangfang will be so stingy." Facing him like this, I can still say What?

He smiled, looking better this time. "It's just such a small matter, I'm sorry to trouble you to make a special trip."

"There's nothing wrong with it. As an old classmate, you should come and see it. Take good care of your health and take care of yourself for your mother. Survival is more important than anything else." I patted him on the shoulder.

His face was so swollen that it was difficult to see the expression, but I saw that he seemed very moved, blinked his eyes for a long time and said, "Thank you, I will."

"I'm leaving first, you have a good rest."

The deputy squad leader tried to keep me for a while, but seeing that I insisted on staying, he didn't want to keep me anymore, but he insisted on taking me to the door.When he was wearing slippers, I saw that his feet were so swollen that it was difficult to squeeze into the shoes.

At the stairs, I saw his mother came back, her hair and clothes were wet, and she was carrying some vegetables and a small bag of cooked food.After staying for a while, I asked a few words about the situation of the deputy squad leader. The auntie sighed and said that Xiaowen's father died early, and it was not easy to raise Xiaowen by himself. I did not expect to have such a disease.Fortunately, my kidney and Xiaowen are compatible, but I can't afford so much surgery fee, and now I can only rely on dialysis to maintain it.The aunt also said that when she has saved enough money, she will sell the old house and perform surgery on Xiaowen. She believes that Xiaowen will get better.As she spoke, she stroked her gray hair and smiled. I found that his mother and son had the same smile, warm and strong.

It was still raining heavily when I came out, and I was sitting in the car thinking about things I had never thought about before.What is the most important thing in life?love?life?Family?wealth?Honor?I really can't give an answer, but I thought of one, each of these is not the whole of life.Seeing someone living so hard, what reason do I have to feel sorry for myself?Thinking of this, I turned on the wipers, and the road in front of me became clear again.