love you very special

If you relax your body and mind and don't take one thing to heart, you will naturally feel nothing.

Lin Yi still had this indifferent attitude at the beginning, casual, love it or not.

If they only met once or twice and didn’t know much about it, it’s okay, but later they really poured themselves into it, whether it’s feelings or friendship, and they had planned to be friends for a lifetime and would never be separated. This kind of sudden parting and inexplicable parting will really hurt the heart.

In order to alleviate this situation, you have to work hard and forget everything. If you can’t relieve it, you lie on the bed and take out your mobile phone when you are resting, type a few lines in the dialog box, delete and type again.

No matter how thick-skinned he was when he was young, he didn't care about him, but now he has to set up various emotions, whether to pretend to be doing nothing, or to be cautious, or something else.

For example, "Yi Chu, I have been waiting for you at home for so many days, why didn't you come?"

"Your uncle, are you so busy with work that you don't call me?"

Or "well, don't you like me? I like you too after thinking about it."

I think this is very frivolous, so delete it.

Typing out "I miss you so much" feels too hypocritical and nasty, and I can't stand it.

After two days, I really couldn't do it anymore. I sent out a sentence "the equipment is broken, where are you going?" quickly threw away the phone and went to take a shower, lest the embarrassment would be withdrawn.

Because I was excited, I came out after taking a shower twice, and looked at my phone without washing my body.

And no reply.

Then I was in a state of high tension. Whenever there was movement on the phone, my heart seemed to be picked up and beat for 1 minute, 2 minutes, an hour and two hours, until I fell asleep, and then woke up in the morning.

Difficult and nervous, under the double stimulation, he didn't sleep well all night, and his dream was full of blurred figures.

Lin Yi felt that he was going crazy, and as soon as he went to the factory Xiao Wang came up and asked: "Boss, I haven't seen your friend from Shanghai for a long time. What's the matter with him?"

Lin Yi was originally irritable and said directly: "You gossip, hurry up and work!"

Xiao Wang seldom saw him lose his temper, so he thought it was a joke, and continued: "I don't affect my work, I have checked everything and there is no problem."

Lin Yiyi: "Have you calculated the data? Have you recruited newcomers and trained them? Are you ready for next month?"

Asking you that Xiao Wang didn't dare to speak when he was done, and left angrily.

All in all, Lin Yi wasn't in a good mood that day. With a cigarette in his hand, he turned around and still couldn't smoke it, and finally threw it into the trash can.

He hadn't been so impulsive in doing things for a long time, so he drove directly to Shanghai in the afternoon, Lin Yi thought about it, first scolded Yi Chu for being stingy, then scolded himself for being blind to good people, and finally reconciled.

According to his current state, it is estimated that he will not have any rebellious emotions when he wants to do anything. Anyway, he has let himself go. He can kiss whenever he likes, hug whenever he likes, and he can accept anything except going to bed.

Lin Yi called when he was about to arrive, and there was no other way not to call at this time.

The result is a shutdown.

All the way to play all the way off.

It took Lin Yi a lot of courage to walk to the door of his house, and knocked on the door several times, but no one answered.

Keep calling, keep prompting to shut down, from [-]:[-] pm to [-]:[-] pm, there is still no one.

This day seems to have experienced ups and downs, and astringency.

It was past two o'clock when Lin Yi came home, and he lay down and fell asleep without eating.

A few days later, Lin Yi couldn't give up, so he went to his house again while doing errands on the weekend.

This time, he waited for more than two hours and opened the door directly with the password.

There is a gloomy atmosphere when you enter the door. It has been raining in Shanghai these days, and the windows have not been opened for an unknown period of time, so it is not popular.

Lin Yi closed the door, opened the curtains, and opened the window.

Because I was too tired, I fell asleep on the sofa.

I don't know how long I slept, but I woke up when I heard a burst of cheers outside. The room was quiet, with the breeze blowing and the curtains rustling.

Lin Yi went to Yi Chu's desk and left a note.

"call me."

What Lin Yi is looking forward to is to meet with the previous one and make it clear that even if Yi Chu insists on not contacting and breaking up, and goes against what he said before the bed, he will still accept it.

They always have results.

Lin Yi waited too late and hadn't eaten all day. He was so tired that he called and lived with Xiao Zhou.

Xiao Zhou's newly bought house has not yet been handed over, and the rented house is not big, with one bedroom and one living room, and the rent is several thousand.

Sitting together, Xiao Zhou knew that he was very depressed, so he couldn't bear to mention Yi Chu's matter, but said: "You are good in everything, but there is one bad thing, and I haven't taught you a lesson for so many years. Even if you get married in the future When you have a child, your wife can leave, and the child will leave when he is old. You can only rely on yourself in everything. Too much dependence on others will only make you feel guilty and painful. When I was young, I thought my parents were very good. Well, one marries a wife and the other marries a man. No one wants me, no one likes me. Xiao Ling loves me so much and treats me so well, she will still break up and leave. After all these years, you still want to rely on one person. Indeed, one person is too much. Suffering is too lonely, and being lonely is better than gaining and losing again, don’t you think?”

Lin Yi smiled lightly: "You haven't said this before."

Xiao Zhou said: "I didn't say it because I didn't see what kind of person you are. He is good and treats you well, but people are selfish. He likes you so he treats you well. Once the two of you are out of balance , then there is no need to be nice to you, we are all adults, and our time and energy are limited. In terms of advantages, I didn't attack you when your mind was weak, otherwise I would definitely bend when I saw you, and I couldn't stand him."

Lin Yi "haha" smiled to himself, lying on the bed with his legs stretched against the wall.

Seeing that he was silent, Xiao Zhou continued: "I'm not trying to enlighten you, you know better than anyone else that it's better to rely on yourself than others, and you have to be more ruthless in life, or you will end up like me."

Lin Yi asked gossipingly, "No way, are you still sending money to your ex-girlfriend? How is her father sick?"

Xiao Zhou said: "I went to see it once, and it wasn't very good. Chemotherapy costs thousands of dollars a day."

Lin Yi sighed: "Maybe the girl just broke up with you when she found out that her father was sick."

Xiao Zhou laughed dryly and did not speak.

It was almost twelve o'clock when the food was delivered, Lin Yi was eating, and Xiao Zhou was washing clothes outside.

When they were studying abroad together, Xiao Zhou was like a young master, and his parents were well-off. They paid tens of thousands of 10,000+ per month, and spent more money than Lin Yi.

Nowadays, I can do everything from washing clothes to cooking, and I never say anything no matter how hard or tired I am.

Lin Yi admired him very much, because he couldn't do this, no matter how long it had passed, he still longed to be loved, cared for, and paid attention to, probably because of his personality.

They share the same bed, and usually sleep at one end of the other.

Xiao Zhou said, "I tell you a happy event, do you want to hear it?"

Lin Yixiao: "What? Are you going to get married and have children?"

Xiao Zhou said: "That's not true, I will pay you back 1 yuan tomorrow."

Lin Yi kicked him: "Get out, don't, give it to me next year."

Xiao Zhou didn't push back and forth like the others, "Do you want love or not, come to me if you need money in the future."

Lin Yi let out an "um", closed his eyes, and quickly fell asleep.

Lin Yi got up early the next morning and drove back, but he still didn't give up. He said silently for the last time in his heart that if he was not at home, he would never come again.

Put the car on the side of the road and take the elevator up, and the elevator door opened.

Similar to the movie scene, Lin Yi wants to go out, and Yi Chu wants to come in.

I miss it every day, and a person I want to see suddenly appears in front of me, my mouth is so dry that I can't speak.

Yi Chu was thinner, obviously surprised to see Lin Yi: "Why are you here?"

Lin Yi had mixed feelings, including grievance, sadness, and joy.

Yi Chu was startled when he saw that Lin's expression was particularly bad: "What's wrong? Is something wrong?"

Lin Yi didn't expect to meet him this time when he came here. He completely forgot what he wanted to say to him when he met in this way.

Yi Chu went back and opened the door, and said, "I just saw the note you left and was about to call you."

To contact you alone, why now?Anytime is fine.

Lin Yi sat on the sofa and said nothing.

Early in the morning, he must be dressed so neatly and should go to work. Lin Yi got up just as soon as he sat on the sofa: "I just stopped by to see you. I have nothing to do."

They are as polite as strangers.

Yi Chu raised his head slightly, his eyes shifted from his face to his hand, the back of his hand was scratched by someone lifting something the day before yesterday, and there was a Band-Aid on it.

Lin Yi instinctively hid the back of his hands to prevent him from seeing, and said, "You said you were coming to see me, it has been more than a month, and I haven't seen you coming, I'm worried..."

Worry about what Lin Yi can't say, what is there to worry about?

I wanted to question before, but now I can't say anything, and I can't say anything in front of him, because it has nothing to do with others from the beginning to the end.

Yi Chu took a glass of water, and instead of handing it directly to Lin Yi as before, he put it on the table.

The tiny details made Lin Yixin sore.

"I haven't bought a new mobile phone these days. I know you will definitely call and send me a message. I'm sorry."

Yi Chu spoke very softly, like soft silk floating, feeling powerless.

As soon as Lin raised his head, he noticed that there was no needle removed from his wrist.

As soon as Lin saw this kind of thing, his whole body was tense, and he suppressed his trembling voice and asked, "Yi Chu? You..."

Yi Chu what?what can i sayCan't say anything, Lin Yi lowered his eyes.

What a pitiful look.

Yi Chu rolled up his sleeves to expose the needle tube without any shyness, pointed to his throat, and said, "I have a problem with my breathing, and my lungs."

Lin Yi's body was pierced like a knife, unable to breathe, he just sat there in a daze.

Yi Chu deliberately spoke unclearly, just wanting to see Lin Yi's reaction.

Lin Yi quietly sat beside Yi Chu: "Are you going to the hospital now?"

Yi Chu: "Well, I want to give you a call and then go there."

Lin Yi: "Are you alone?"

"No, my mother came the day before yesterday."

Lin Yi caught a smile on the corner of Yi Chu's mouth, and he didn't know how long he had to resist before letting his mother come over.

With the mother here, it seems that she can be a child who doesn't understand the worries of the world with peace of mind.

After not sitting for a few minutes, Lin Qi got up: "Then you go, I won't go with you."

Yi Chu didn't respond, he was thinking about how he would feel if this person was sick, probably he was extremely flustered and pretended to be calm, wanting to hurt and feel bad for him.In the past, he said all kinds of things, but he didn't know how true he was. He said that if he was critically ill, he would pass out sadly, which was probably just a joke.

These years, it was just a joke, and only I took it seriously.

In the elevator, be quiet.

Lin Yi opened his mouth: "Are you all alone these days?"

Yi Chu leaned against the elevator wall: "Aren't you always alone?"

Yes, they are all one, and all are used to it.

Loneliness spreads and erodes the whole body.

After getting out of the elevator, Lin Yi said, "I'll go with you."

Yi Chufang explained: "Don't worry, it's just an inflammation, and it's almost healed."

I always feel that I can bear it when I am young, but who can really resist it?

Lin Yidao: "Then you should also quit smoking in the future, it hurts your lungs."

"Ah."

Lin Yi said: "It's actually very easy to quit. As long as you are busy with other things and forget everything, you will soon forget this feeling."

"Ah."

Lin Yi stopped, turned his head to look at Yi Chu, and asked, "Yi Chu, are we still friends?"

Yi Chu stopped, and after a few seconds, he said "hmm".

Lin Yi frowned, believing in his words, believing in the past, and believing now: "Can I still look for you in the future?"

Yi Chu looked at the children in the distance who were still playing in the community, the hot summer wind dazzled his eyes, blowing away the past, that summer, and the deep memories.

It is difficult for Yi Chu to maintain the so-called friendship, and it is even more difficult for Lin Yi.

For so many years, Yi Chu has always regarded him as the person he loves. If you want to love and cherish the person for life, you don’t have to tell that person. As long as you like him silently in your heart, it’s fine. Now you want to turn your lover into an ordinary friend. It’s bloody. Cut off the heart, no one can accept it.

For so many years, I have kept it in the deepest part of my heart, unwilling to tell anyone, looking forward to the result, but afraid of the result.

These days, their relationship was the warmest and most harmonious. Yi Chu thought that Lin Yihui knew what he was thinking, but in the end, the result was the same as expected, and it was worse than imagined.

Yi Chu thought that he would at least try to find himself these years, but in the end he never thought that this kind of blow was more painful than not liking him.

The word "friend" is so ironic, so ironic that I can't speak, I can't bear to be harsh, I don't know who said it, he is sad, sad, and distraught.

However, facing this face again, carefully saying "be friends", it is difficult to say "good", you can't do it harshly, you can only accept it calmly.

After leaving the community, Lin Yi still decided not to go to the hospital with him. Yi Chu couldn't ask for anything, and just repeated what he said before: "You don't have to care about my feelings, don't wrong yourself."

Lin Yi was ashamed to say it once.

When they got to the side of the road, they staggered a few meters away, as if they were passers-by waiting for their own cars to pass by.

When Yi Chu was about to get in the car, Lin Yi suddenly asked: "Yi Chu, since when did you like me?"

Asking people don't know if they have a heart, and hearing people are extremely embarrassed.

Yi Chu said casually: "More than a month." After speaking, he hurriedly got into the car and left.

For some reason, Lin Yi heaved a sigh of relief, fortunately, it didn't take long, and the sadness wouldn't last too long, so he felt better.

Separated from each other, Lin Yi sat on the side of the road and let go for a while to drive.

While waiting for the traffic light, I received a WeChat message from Yi Chu. "Thank you."

Lin Yi didn't know what he was thanking, no matter what Yi Chu was thanking, it wasn't him who should say thank you, but himself.

For so many years, so many days, a thank you is not enough to express my inner thoughts.

You thank me, I thank you, life is so divided that it seems to be separated.

Lin stopped the car at the intersection, wrote a long paragraph and sent it.

"Too many things have happened over the years, I have changed a long time ago, but you always treat me as good as I thought, as good as when I was in school. I really want to go back to the past and be carefree, but people can only look forward , can’t always recall the past. Yi Chu, you are too closed, you should go out and have a look, there are many very good people in this world, they are better than me, better than me, more attractive than me. I I’ve always been ignorant of good and bad, blind, I didn’t cherish it before, and I don’t cherish it now, and you can blame me or scold me, I’ll accept it.”

Twenty minutes after sending the message, Yi Chu replied with three words, "You didn't."

Nothing is unknown.

I really want to see him right now.

As soon as Lin leaned on the back of the car, he called and answered, "Which hospital are you in? I'll go see you."

Sticking to the phone, you can feel Yi Chu's breathing: "Don't come here."

Lin Yidao: "How are you now?"

Yi Chu said: "Okay."

Lin Yi said "Hmm" and hung up the phone.

Lin Yi had already smelled enough of the smell in the hospital back then. After returning to China, he became seriously ill. He was alone in the hospital for almost a month. During that time, he dared not let his friends know. Even Xiao Zhou is an ordinary friend.

I went through the hospitalization procedures, paid for the injections, and called the nurse. According to my 20-year-old age at the time, I could attract a group of admirers with my good looks. During that time, I was decadent, weak in body, poor in appetite, hardly had any food, and my appearance changed.

Seeing that he was too young, the nurses at the hospital took the initiative to invite a nurse to take care of him for a few hours. They would buy some for him during the usual meals and survived the hospitalization.

After being discharged from the hospital, Lin Yi sold the house with debts on his back. This city is where he grew up from birth to childhood. He has youth, memories, and childhood. Every place is familiar, but suddenly it is like a nightmare in an ice cave and he just wants to escape immediately. .

Later, I met Xiao Zhou in Shanghai and took over the affairs of the factory.

Dizzy, five or six years have passed.

Whether you love or not, whether you care or not, you are indifferent. You just want to survive in this world with no one to rely on, and have a sky of your own.

As soon as Lin got to know Yi Chu, he could do everything to the best and he would be fine in the hospital.What's more, he has been used to being independent since he was a child. He used to think that this person is unreasonable and always likes to reject people thousands of miles away. Only after this encounter did he realize that people who are no longer used to it still don't like loneliness.

After thinking about it for a few days, Lin Yi decided to go to the hospital to see him.

The phone still doesn't work.

Not to mention the ward, which hospital is not known yet.

The only way is to wait in his community for a day and a night. Luck will not always be there.

The last time we met by chance, this time it was not good.

All of a sudden, this person has never been in my life these days.

Lin Yi's life has returned to its previous calm, dull, uninterested life, and he continues to work hard for a better life in the future.

Only I know best, that kind of wanton thoughts pass through the whole body through the blood.

It is no longer possible to force it down.

He can't tell whether it's liking or love. Every Friday and Saturday, he looks forward to an unexpected encounter. Since Thursday, he has fantasized about what he would say if Yi Chu came over tomorrow, nervous and trembling.

Until one weekend, under a clear sky, Lin Yi was wearing a black overalls, sitting lazily on the ground to rest, when his cell phone rang.

When I saw his name, my palms sweated instantly.

Yi Chu: "Are you alone on Mid-Autumn Festival?"

The sound is like a feather, gliding over the tip of my heart.

Lin Yi was so excited that he almost cried, suppressing his throbbing nerves: "Yi Chu, are you home? I want to see you."

Yi Chu's voice was faint, maybe he felt happy: "Yes, you come."

Lin Yi immediately took off his work clothes, took a quick shower, changed into new clothes and drove over.

Halfway there, Louis Chu sent a WeChat message, "Just open the door and come in when you arrive."

Lin Yi was so excited that he wanted to fly to his side immediately.

He thought it over, Yi Chu has a dignified character, and he will never forget the previous suspicions, and he must cling to him like he did when he was in school. As long as he clings, he will soften his heart, and if his heart is soft, he can be tied together and never separated.

When he got home, Lin Yi still knocked on the door like a gentleman.

Lin Yi fantasized about Yi Chu's various expressions, but he didn't expect it to be a little smile after opening the door.

I laughed so hard that my heart was drunk.

Lin was a little dumbfounded when he saw it, and said stupidly: "Why are you so happy?"

Yi Chu said: "I'm glad to see you."

Lin Yi: "From then on, can I come to you every day?"

Unexpectedly, Yi Chu nodded.

Seeing him like this, Lin Yi didn't know how happy he was, he closed the door casually, patted his head and said, "Oh, I forgot to buy something for you. Come on, are you feeling better?"

It is indeed necessary to fight, every time Yi Chu only needs to visit him, it is like moving house, there are too many things to eat.

Yi Chu didn't care at all and chuckled lightly, "It's been done long ago."

He pointed to the table: "I bought some mooncakes, you can try them."

"I'll buy mooncakes anytime now." Lin Yi took a bite, feeling tired of the sweetness.

Enduring the sweetness, he finished eating and walked to Yi Chu's side, the study room.

He was wearing home clothes, the lamp on the desk was turned on, and he was reading a book very seriously, and he didn't even notice that Lin Yi walked behind him.

Yi Chu pen wrote and looked up at Lin Yi: "Are you hungry? If you are hungry, there is something to eat in the refrigerator."

As soon as Lin saw his bookish appearance, he couldn't help wanting to bully him, and he liked this appearance very much, so he deliberately said, "I'll eat it if you make it for me."

Yi Chu kept smiling: "I don't have time to cook for you today."

In fact, Lin Yi hasn't had a good meal since noon, and when he saw Yi Chu today, the relationship felt back to before, and he was so happy.

Lin Yidao: "Why don't you read a book, and I'll help you make whatever you want to eat."

Yi Chu shook his head: "No, don't you have something else to do? You can go back early after sitting for a while."

Lin Yilai leaned on the chair next to him and said, "I won't leave, you can go to work tomorrow, I'll wait for you at home and you'll be fine."

Yi Chu's pen paused, and then continued to write: "Are you not working?"

Lin Yi crossed his legs and said: "Didn't you recruit a few people that time? There are 2 people left, one is good, and he has already started. The big boss of the family goes abroad every day to travel and play yachts. Why is my life so hard? I have to rest." .”

Yi Chu said: "You like to toss yourself."

Lin Yi lay down beside his desk, "I can't do this without you, what are you doing? Why are you still writing some complicated engineering formulas? It's not bothering you after so many years."

The tip of the pen in Yi Chu's hand scratched across the draft paper without stopping for a moment, and the level of "shua, shua, shua" writing is not as bad as that of high school.

"overcome exam."

Lin Yi: "No way, your company requires you to take the exam so strictly? Do people who have returned from studying abroad have a conscience to take the exam?"

"No, Cobb."

Lin Yi almost didn't hear clearly: "What are you talking about? You want to take a doctoral degree?"

Yi Chu: "Yes."

Lin Yi pulled a chair and sat next to him: "Graduate students are not enough, and I still have to take a doctoral degree? Then am I a high school graduate who wants to face a doctoral student? A fool versus a talented person."

Yi Chumo said: "You always don't study hard."

I thought again in my heart, even if I study hard, so what, if my heart is not here, I will still be separated.

Lin Yi sincerely regretted it, and said with a little sigh: "I really should have persisted and finished reading the book. I have dropped out of school for so long. I don't know if he is willing to take him in."

Picking up the math problem on Yi Chuman's desk, he was almost blind and couldn't understand it at all. The key point was in English, like a heavenly book.