five years later

An Yuan has been an obedient child since he was a child, but he refused to give in half a step when it comes to painting.He wanted to study art, and in fact he did, but he still didn't take this path in the end.

There are a lot of twists and turns in it, and I quarreled with my father and even almost did it.But he was discouraged after all the obstacles disappeared, and he left home thousands of miles without saying a word, and learned a design semi-related to art.

No one knew what he was thinking, even An Yuan himself didn't figure it out, all the struggles before the moment became children's unreasonable troubles.

It was the first time in An Yuan's life that he drank alcohol on the day he received the admission notice.Strange to say, he was drunk, but he still had the energy to go to the room, take a good bath, change his clothes, and even sent a text message to his father telling him not to worry before lying down on the bed and falling asleep.

When he woke up the next day, the sun was bright, he didn't have a headache, he was very awake, holding the notice in a daze.

It was a city far from home.From the north to the south, we crossed the smell of the sea along the way, and came to this place where there are good flowers in spring and good wine in summer.

An Yuan didn't let his father see him off, and sat on the train alone with his luggage, quietly and silently but restlessly in his heart.He didn't breathe a sigh of relief until he got to school, put his luggage away, and was lying on the bed alone at night.

It is not quite right to say freedom, it is the feeling of a traveler who has unloaded the heavy burden that has been carried for decades.Mixed feelings, hypocritical to the point of tears.

Since then, Anyuan has made up his mind to live a good life.He hopes that he can stay in this city, and then meet a beloved one, and grow old slowly with her accompanied by the comfortable wind.

In fact, he thought that person would belong to Liu Youxia.People who have never been in love always have an inexplicable loneliness, both timid and fearless.

After all, two boys falling in love together is not something worth promoting.The summer night was sultry and impetuous, and the lovers still held hands, not caring about the fine sweat on their foreheads.

I don't know who moved his mind first, the two of them got closer as they walked.When your little finger touches mine, it hooks slowly, and once you hook it, you can't let go.

Fortunately, it was dark and there were not many people on the road.An Yuan tilted his head to look at Liu Youxia under the dim street lamp, his heart was full of honey, and he didn't feel tired at all.

Liu Youxia was also a bold person, taking advantage of no one around, he hugged her and kissed her.

The sound of "Bo" sounded in this quiet night, like a transition from a mime to a sound movie, and it suddenly became lively and fragrant.

An Yuan covered his cheeks, feeling a little annoyed that a girl who hadn't left the court in ancient times was treated lightly by the flower pickers.It's just that this "girl" has spring in her eyes, which makes the flower picker really unable to hold back.

Liu Youxia knew that An Yuan had beautiful eyes, but he didn't know that these eyes had such magical powers that could kill people invisible, so he couldn't help but feel a little proud for a while, thankful that he was the No.1 one who ate crabs.Unable to hold back the thoughts in his heart, he pulled him to a corner hidden in the darkness, and kissed him carefully for a while.

The light outside the window was so hot that it dazzled An Yuan's eyes, and tears rolled in his eyes, only missing an understatement reason.

Seeing him like this, Liu Youxia's original annoyance disappeared with the wind.

He let go of the hand that was pinching the other's wrist, wiped away the tear gently and meticulously, and then kissed him again.

An Yuan's trembling eyelashes scratched his lips, as if scratching his heart.

"Don't treat me like this, Xiaoyuan," his voice was a little choked, as if he had been touched. "You can blame me and don't forgive me, but I beg you to give me a chance, okay?"

An Yuan didn't speak, and didn't wake up from the dream until the other party's tears rolled down his neck.

He felt the man's body temperature, a warmth he hadn't touched in five years.In fact, he could hear Liu Youxia talking, but he didn't know how to answer it.

Does he still blame him?

It should be.The more fearless he was when he was young, the more timid he is now, An Yuan has no strength to bear it again.

He not only blamed Liu Youxia for walking away without saying a word, but also blamed himself for still expecting him for so many years.He also likes Liu Youxia. He never forgets a love that was not defeated by love itself.

"How can I give you a chance?" An Yuan said lightly. "I have nothing, how can I bet with you? If you win, it's yours. If you lose, it's mine. How can there be such a good thing in the world."

Liu Youxia didn't reply to him, but just lay down with his neck crossed.

"Then will you be happy if I don't appear in front of you? You obviously still like me, but you use this method to make us all suffer. Xiaoyuan, what do you want?"

An Yuan was overwhelmed by his question, so he didn't say a word and let his thoughts fly away.

"If I explain to you, will you believe me?" Seeing that he refused to speak, Liu Youxia asked again.

In fact, An Yuan didn't quite remember what happened on the day Liu Youxia left five years ago. At first, he thought he would remember it clearly, but time, the executioner, broke all his willpower.As the days passed, the memory became weaker and weaker, until it became the current bloody appearance.

"It's because I don't know what you want." An Yuan pushed away Liu Youxia who was covering him, and softened his tone. "You've heard the story of the fish and the bear's paw, right? But I'm neither a fish nor a bear's paw, and if I die, it's just a love affair in your youth."

"Maybe I still love you, but I love you has nothing to do with whether you are by my side. It's not that I can't forgive you, I just hate you for ruining my life.

Remember what I told you before? 'I want to live a quiet, orderly life, soothing, happy, inclusive of all emotions. 'I didn't lie to you, it's just that you can't give me such a life. "

Liu Youxia got up and looked at An Yuan's calm face, and gently reached out to caress it.He hates this kind of posturing, and he doesn't believe that this is what An Yuan wants.

"I don't believe it." He said firmly.

"What don't you believe?" An Yuan turned to look at him.

"I don't believe it." Liu Youxia's confident look was quite different from back then.In the past, it could be said that it was a fox pretending to be a tiger, but now it is impossible to ignore it.

"I don't believe you can let me go. Watch me kiss other people, even get married and have children. Anyuan, can you just watch me fall in love with others?"

The problem came back to Anyuan.

can he

Liu Youxia thought he couldn't, and An Yuan himself wasn't sure.

In the past five years, it's not that he hasn't thought that Liu Youxia would fall in love with someone else, but the lethality he heard with his own ears is still stronger than his imagination.

An Yuan suddenly curled up in pain, and a thin layer of sweat appeared on his forehead instantly.

"What's the matter? Xiaoyuan, where is your pain?!" Liu Youxia was stunned, and hurriedly leaned over to check, holding Anyuan's hand to prevent him from accidentally hurting herself.

"Medicine, the medicine is in the drawer." An Yuan tried his best to point to the drawer next to him.

His stomach trouble started to take shape as early as in college, and it got worse after working.It's just that this time the stomach pain came suddenly and was stronger than before, which caught An Yuan by surprise and made him temporarily forget how to deal with his relationship with Liu Youxia.

After taking the medicine, the pain was only slightly relieved.An Yuan lay flat on the bed, gasping for breath with his mouth open.

Liu Youxia put a soft pillow at the head of the bed, helped An Yuan to lean on him, and rubbed the acupoints for him carefully.

"Have you been to the hospital?" There was distress and helplessness in his voice, but he didn't dare to express it too clearly, so he had to lower his head not to look into An Yuan's eyes.

"It's okay, just take some medicine." An Yuan didn't notice his strangeness, and closed his eyes to rest himself, feeling a little palpitation of the rest of his life.

"You're in such pain and you still say it's okay, don't you really have to wait until you're in the hospital to be considered okay!"

An Yuan glanced at him and ignored him.

"It's okay if you don't want to go to the hospital, but I won't move out for the time being. This kind of disease needs to be taken care of, and I don't trust you to live alone. Of course, you don't have to find other reasons to prevaricate me. If you really If you can take good care of yourself, you won’t be like this now.”

Liu Youxia paused and sighed in a low voice.

"I'm not willing to let you leave my life. It's fine if you don't want to listen to the explanation of what happened five years ago. Let me pursue you again, okay?"

An Yuan's heart beat twice faster, but his face was still calm.

"Then what if I don't let go all my life?"

"Forever?" Liu Youxia repeated these three words.

"It would be a good thing if we could be entangled for a lifetime. Don't you think so?" He stroked An Yuan's cheek, soothing his frown from the pain.

An Yuan looked into Liu Youxia's eyes.There were some emotions in it that he couldn't understand, sadness, helplessness, and a little affection.A messy mess was placed in those eyes that were as clear as springs, like drops of thick ink on rice paper.The ink smudged into a whirlpool, pulling An Yuan into it.

He couldn't understand, but his heart softened.

Maybe he didn't leave because he was waiting for this day.Even if the road ahead is a cliff, An Yuan is determined to jump off, and he is willing to fall to pieces.

"I haven't finished my meal yet."

Liu Youxia froze for a moment, then smiled with her lips pursed in a blink of an eye.He looks very good-looking, like a delicate rose, captivating.

"Lie down first, I'll heat up the food."

An Yuan looked at his back and showed a rare gentle smile.There is no sarcasm in this smile, nor does it have the high profile of watching others play with a cold eye.

He just smiled softly, the same as many years ago.

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If you don't leave a message or bookmark, I'm too lazy to update it every day hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh