i don't want to have children

When Yu He asked about Xu An, Chu Lingdong said directly: "He's awake."

Yu He waited for Chu Lingdong to finish speaking.

……

That day, the moment Xu An opened his eyes, Chu Lingdong felt as if he had been hit by a suffocating club, with dull pain and dizziness.Xu An woke up, what about Yu He?

He immediately rushed to Xieyouyuan, but what he saw was Yu He, who was still asleep.

When Chu Lingdong saw Xu An again, he only said one thing to him: "What do you want? Think it over before telling me."

Turned around and left.

Xu An stayed in the hospital for half a month.After his body basically recovered, Chu Lingdong went to see Xu An.

Xu An was not in the ward, Chu Lingdong found him under the plane tree in the inpatient department.

Chu Lingdong didn't want to entangle too much about Xu An's mentality and his relationship with Yu He.

He just needs to work things out satisfactorily.In this regard, Chu Lingdong has always acted in a steadfast manner, without dragging his feet.

Xu An sat on the long iron chair by the side of the road, crossed his legs, and looked at Chu Lingdong, but didn't look at him very much.

Now, his attitude towards Chu Lingdong has subtly changed.In the past, when he saw Chu Lingdong, he had a flattering face, but now he just twitched his lips.

For a moment, Chu Lingdong thought of his mother, Chen Lanzhi.The two are still alike.

Chu Lingdong walked slowly in front of Xu An, and asked, "Have you figured it out yet?"

Xu An said nothing.

"If you haven't made up your mind yet, I can give you suggestions. I won't give you a lot, I will only give you a little. It's what you need most." Chu Lingdong said.

Xu An raised his eyes and looked at Chu Lingdong.

This was the first time he faced Chu Lingdong's eyes like this.Although he played tricks, played tricks, and seduced Chu Lingdong in front of him, he was shameless and had no means, but he didn't dare to look him in the eyes.

Chu Lingdong's eyes were either cold and indifferent, or contemptuous and disgusted.

Now, these eyes still have no emotion at all, as cold as if covered with frost.

Xu An rubbed his hands, snorted, and turned his eyes away, "What can you give me?"

"Dignity." Chu Lingdong looked at him coldly.

…If I were a nudibranch, I'd be the blue one with the little tuft of tail at the back.It looks proud and different.

Chu Lingdong remembered Xu An's message to Yu He quite clearly.

At this time, he had met Chen Lanzhi many times in Jieyutang.I learned that Xu An and Yu He should have had contact when they were young.

During that time, Chen Lanzhi often took Xu An to Jieyutang, and because she was working outside, sometimes she directly stored Xu An in Jieyutang.

Xu An, who was only eight years old at the time, had a relationship with Yu He, who was of the same age, as a matter of course.

Chu Lingdong knew Xu An's complicated and delicate feelings for Yu He.But from these messages, it can be seen that Xu An is yearning for Yu He.

This person has been a different kind since he was born, and the world's eyes and gossip are indispensable.

Not satisfied with the status quo, but unable to change the status quo.I just want to find a shortcut and rescue myself from the quagmire.

And this shortcut made him use all means and no regard for face.

In his heart, he actually longed to be like Yu He.In a normal family, grow up normally, have a bright personality, and a decent job.Be respected and reflect self-worth.

In his life, the most missing thing is probably the dignity of being a human being.

Xu An stared blankly at Chu Lingdong.

He has been pestering Chu Lingdong for so long, approaching him and seducing him by any means.Until he had Chu Lingdong's child, Chu Lingdong never said anything to him so solemnly.

"I will give you a sum of money to send you to study abroad. You can study the performances you like, and other things are fine. After you finish your studies, you can choose to stay abroad or return to China. Your mother, I will give you money every month. He pays alimony. But you have to sign an agreement to give up Chenchen's custody rights. Before he reaches the age, you promise not to meet him."

"Don't let me see my child?" Xu An snorted softly.

Chu Lingdong stared at Xu An, "Before you answer me, you have to understand one thing, whether you agree or not, I will not allow you to meet with Chenchen. It is also impossible for him to be used by you to negotiate with me." conditions of."

Because he didn't need to worry about Xu An's heart, Chu Lingdong looked at the problem intuitively and objectively.

Xu An doesn't love children.Pregnancy is just a way for him to take a shortcut.

Maybe in the future, Xu An will change and suddenly feel nostalgic for Chenchen, but this is no longer what Chu Lingdong is considering.He did not allow Xu An to interfere with Chenchen's growth.

After Chenchen reached her full age, she had her own judgment and values.Even if Xu An meets Chenchen and tells everything.Chu Lingdong will also respect Chenchen's opinions and choices.

After Chu Lingdong finished speaking, he looked at Xu An.

Xu An shook his legs and turned his face away.

Chu Lingdong was not someone who could bargain.He knew it quite well before.

"This is my proposal." Chu Lingdong said, "You hope you can give me an answer now."

"Now?" Xu An repeated subconsciously.

Chu Lingdong just looked at him.

Xu An gritted his back molars.He actually wanted to struggle, but in front of Chu Lingdong, he had nothing to hide.Chu Lingdong knew what he really wanted, and offered the best conditions.

"I have no objection." Xu An said.

Chu Lingdong nodded.Same as his judgment.Xu An's biggest trouble is not physical defects, not love, but no one agrees.

"In a while, I will have someone bring the agreement to you." Chu Lingdong said.

"Yu... Where's the doctor?" Xu An suddenly asked.

"I haven't woken up yet." Chu Lingdong said.

Xu An's throat rolled.Holding the iron chair with his hands, he shook his legs nervously.

In Xu An's mind, the only difference is probably Yu He.

This is different, whether it is longing, jealousy, or other subtle feelings, Chu Lingdong also hopes to stop here.

"No matter what the reason is, I also hope you don't bother him anymore." Chu Lingdong said, staring at Xu An, "You are free just like him. You can't be anyone. What you can do is just It can be to change yourself."

Xu An was shocked.Some couldn't believe that Chu Lingdong would say such a thing to him.

No one ever said that to him.He stared blankly at Chu Lingdong.

Chu Lingdong didn't want to say any more, and turned around to leave.

"I have something for Yu He." Xu An said behind Chu Lingdong's back.

"I will pass it on." Chu Lingdong said without looking back.

A few days later, he went through the formalities for Xu An to study abroad.

In another country, Chu Lingdong hoped that he would regain his dignity and realize his self-worth.

……

Chu Lingdong simply explained these processes, telling Yu He that Xu An had gone abroad to study.

As for the relationship between Xu An and Yu He, Chu Lingdong took out a pair of knitted gloves from the drawer and handed it to Yu He.

"Xu An asked me to return it to you."

Yu He took it.Since it was said that it was returned, it must have been Yu He's before.

Yu He looked at the gloves, obviously he couldn't remember, he couldn't remember when he gave someone else gloves.

The gloves are still small in size, floral gray, and knitted.The four fingers are exposed, which is convenient for holding things or doing homework.

"Chen Lanzhi took Xu An to seek medical treatment at Grandpa's place for a long time." Chu Lingdong reminded Yu He.

Yu He was startled, as if he suddenly figured out something.

……

At that time Xu An was only seven or eight years old.Same age as him.But it's not a boy's attire, it's a bit weird.Although she wasn't wearing a skirt, her top was a women's red ski jacket.wearing a hat.Only a pair of dark eyes were exposed.

He was in primary school at the time.For a while, when I came back, I would see such a little child kicking pebbles alone in the yard with his head down.

Because she was wearing a red dress and was introverted and fair, Yu He thought it was a girl.

People come and go in Jie Yutang, all kinds of patients come and go frequently, he also has a quick glance.

At that time, Yu He was carefree, with a bit of righteousness.

After meeting Xu An a few times, I took the initiative to ask him if he came here to see a doctor.

Xu An just nodded, then lowered his head to kick the stone.

"What's wrong?" Yu He asked.

Xu An didn't answer either.

At the age of eight at that time, he had already been in and out of the Jieyu Hall frequently, feeling his pulse for consultation, and was praised for his talent and intelligence.Now without further ado, pick up his hand signal pulse.

Only then did Xu An raise his head, very surprised, "You also see a doctor."

"Of course. I have helped my grandfather give people the pulse since I was a child."

Xu An's envious and shocked eyes are still fresh in Yu He's memory.

"Your grandfather is Doctor Yu?"

"Yeah." Yu He said proudly.

But Xu An's pulse is too strange, although Yu He is also a young old Chinese doctor, he has never encountered such a pulse.

He pondered for a while and said, "Your pulse is very strange."

"Your grandfather said the same thing." Xu An was even more surprised.

"Tell me, what kind of disease do I have?" Maybe because of the same age, maybe because of Yu He's informality, Xu An, who is somewhat autistic, has a sense of intimacy.

"You are not sick." Although he didn't quite understand what was going on, Yu He said with certainty.

"Aren't I sick?" Xu An amplified his voice, extremely surprised.

His mother, Chen Lanzhi, took him to and from various hospitals in the past few years, with a stern face all day long, which made him feel too annoyed, but this child said he was not sick.

"It's not a disease." Eight-year-old Yu He said, "It's just different from ordinary people."

Yu He then thought about it, and said in a more understandable way: "You said that some people are born without hair, do you think he has a disease? And some people are born with more fingers than others, you say he has hair sick?"

No matter how deep the truth was, Yu He couldn't explain it, so he said, "That's it."

But at that time Xu An seemed to understand very well, and nodded desperately, "I understand."

Seeing that Xu An understood, Yu He went back to the house with his schoolbag on his back.