Chasing death and chasing north

In a few days, I was finally able to get out of bed and walk around quickly, and the morning and afternoon mornings recovered immediately.I took a look that day and headed all the way to Jingyan Palace, the westernmost part of Miyagi.

The lighting of this Jingyan Palace has always been poor, just like now, it is clearly noon, but the side hall is still pitch black, like a long night, and there are no candles lit.My father was sitting on the steps, quietly flipping through a Tao Te Ching with the few inches of sunlight leaking in from the window, while the eunuchs and palace maids dozed off on both sides. It was only when they saw me that they flustered and wanted to show their energy.

I backed away from the left and right, and stood in front of my father, in an unbiased position, just blocking the light.

"Father Wan'an. Please forgive the child for being injured and unable to salute."

My father raised his head, looked at me with his dim old eyes, and said after a while, "Oh, it's Erlang."

"I've been busy with government affairs recently, so I've been visiting for a long time. Is your father okay?"

"What did you say?" He turned his head slightly and turned his left ear to me.

I say it again.

He trembled and wanted to get up, I put on the handle, the weight supported on the arm was as light as nothing, compared to when he was in the Duke's mansion, his stature may have shrunk by more than half.

"I'm old, I'm useless, I'm just waiting to die, what's the point?" After my father stood up, he took a step back and distanced himself from me.

"My son feels that the father is still strong and strong, and what makes the son admire him even more is that the father is still a martyr in his old age, and he is still full of ambition."

The father bent his body, tilted his head and asked loudly, "What? Erlang, speak louder, because my father's ears are not good."

I whispered slowly in his ear: "My son said that the emperor can take care of his life in peace, which is the blessing of my son and the people of the world."

He grinned, and I realized he had very few teeth left.After careful calculation, my father is only in his 60s. If he is still in power, he definitely shouldn't be so old-fashioned.

"If you stand here, it means that I have lost all my bets, don't worry, don't worry!" After finishing speaking, my father smiled and stretched out his hand, standing on tiptoe and patting me on the shoulder.

This statement is consistent with our deduction, I nodded. "That's good. Fortunately, this world was brought down by my son himself. He learned a little bit of kung fu back then. Otherwise, father, you would have to work day and night with Deng Dabao while dragging your sick body. If so, the child is really unfilial .”

Father laughed, and didn't know if he heard it clearly.

"By the way, Father could have activated it a few years ago, why did he take action now?" I asked knowingly, and repeated the sentence several times before he responded.

"Oh, you're asking this." Father lowered his head in thought, and suddenly frowned at me: "What are we talking about?"

I was impatient to accompany him to pretend to be deaf and dumb again, so I simply went straight to the point: "What have you heard?"

The father slowly moved back to the bed and half-lyed, and said, "What I can hear must be what you allowed them to say."

"It's supposed to be like this, but I don't know if some of the servants are open-mouthed. The royal father's current batch of maids have also served by his side for a long time. Seeing a few old faces all day long, the royal father must be very depressed, my son. How about finding a new batch for you to replace in a few days?"

The father ignored him, rested his head on the armrest, and even let out an exaggerated snoring sound.

"Then it's settled like this, the father will keep it, and the child will leave."

I turned and left, and when I reached the door, an old voice behind me suddenly said, "What did you do to Da Lang?"

I didn't answer, but asked the guards to "take care" of the Supreme Emperor, and then hurried away.

If it is said that his son locks up another son as a confinement, sleeps in the same bed every night, and makes love all the time, the great Supreme Emperor will be able to rush to bliss in excitement, I would like to say something .

Some time ago, Zheng Bingzhi came to report that his brother was ill. Physician Wang went to see him and said that maybe he was overly frightened that night and there was nothing serious about it.

Doctor Wang is an old man in the palace, and he has a tight-lipped tone. His elder brother's health has always been taken care of by him.My elder brother has long since lost his mind, and his body is gradually withering in invisible places. Imperial physician Wang has been trembling because of this. No panacea anywhere can heal the person who is dying. It is all because of me that he became like this.

I used to do everything just to make him happy, but now I haven't changed my mind for him at all, why is the situation so out of shape?

He is torturing me in this way, and he is probably not aware of this.

"Where am I sorry for you?"——In the first half year, he often asked this sentence.Now he doesn't ask, not because he believes in my feelings, but because he knows that he will not get an acceptable answer.Maybe that wouldn't be a bad thing, if he knew that hurting himself hurts me the most, we'd be ten times worse together than we are now.

I don't know when he will run out of energy, and I don't know how long I can stand in a stalemate with him. If I admit defeat first, then it's not enough to just let go. Once I let go, he will kill himself. Only I die, he Only then can I live in peace.

I have been cruel to the present, how can I be willing to die so easily.I'm not a saint. If I wanted to see him happy and at ease, I just had to leave the Central Plains back then. I couldn't do it back then, and it's even more impossible in my current position.

In the final analysis, I am greedy. I know the best way to do it but I can't restrain it, or I have no intention of restraining it. I am the master of the world, and I have always only been accommodated by others. There is no reason to compromise.Wasn't the reason why I made up my mind to get this position at the beginning so that I could do whatever I wanted?

With this gloomy mood in my arms, I went to Huifeng Garden for the first time after recovering from my injury.The guards have not been strengthened - in most people's perception, when I am away, there is no need to strengthen the guards here. Xue Fan mentioned it many times, but I did not agree. I just allowed them to patrol the third floor every day.

I haven't seen each other for a long time, and obviously meeting each other will only make everyone unhappy. When I walked down the escalator, I still felt a little nervous and joyful.

I hadn't ordered him to come, so he was already eating, and when he saw me he took a mouthful of food and was so surprised that he forgot to chew it.

That rare defenseless look made me feel relieved, and I walked over with a smile and said, "Is it delicious?"

He looked up at me, moved his mouth hesitantly, then lowered his head to pick up some rice.

I knew it was impossible to get an answer when I spoke the words. The attendants were picking up the new cloth. It would be embarrassing to stand there and watch him eat. I turned my toes and walked towards the wall, pretending to be leisurely. .

He had a large collection of antiques in the past, and it is more appropriate to explain it as arty rather than a favorite.The items displayed here are of course all rare items. In addition to the ones brought from the prince's dormitory in the East Palace, I also filled in a few items from the secret collection of the inner palace and later tributes.

"That's all." He said suddenly.

I turned around in surprise.

"This." He pointed to the table with his chopsticks expressionlessly.

What's the meaning?I couldn't react for a moment.What's wrong with this table?

Suddenly thought of my previous question.He won't...he isn't answering me, is he?

"Your Majesty, you can eat—"

Before Zheng Bingzhi could finish speaking, I walked quickly to the table and sat down, took a bite with my chopsticks, and tentatively said to him: "I think this dish is pretty good."

"Too bland."

He was really talking to me!

"Really? It's better if you want to eat something lighter, or tomorrow I'll order the Imperial Dining Room to cook some tasty seafood!"

He glanced at me and said nothing.But these ten meaningless words were enough to make me excited, and I even ate two extra bowls of rice for it, and the non-stop swallowing movement attracted his strange eyes.

Just as I was about to fill another bowl of rice to eat in order to get more of his attention, he propped his hands on the table, stood up slowly and left.

Looking at the messy tabletop, my heart suddenly felt empty, and the rice that I thought was particularly sweet became tasteless again.Throwing the bowl away, I followed him while wiping my mouth.

"Is there anything you particularly want to eat? I'll tell them to make it tomorrow." Since he spoke first, the topic should be accepted.

He flipped through a notebook novel from the previous dynasty, but ignored it.

Are you in the mood to say it again?I was a little sad, and then I thought about it, this is the normal way, isn't it?If the flattery just now happened a few more times, maybe it would be another kind of torture for me.Giving myself a wry smile, I took a deep breath to cheer myself up, sat down behind the case, and prepared to read today's memorial.

"..."

I raised my head in disbelief, he said something just now, the voice was too soft, and I was unprepared, so I only heard what seemed to be "geometry" behind him.

He didn't look at me, he seemed to be talking to himself.This kind of situation is really rare, I am no longer in the mood to review Lao Shizi's memorial, the ink pen is hovering on the yellow silk, but my ears are standing up, waiting for his next sentence.

"Wu Ji presses the wine to invite guests to taste... the last time I drank, how many years ago?"

This time I finally heard clearly.

"You want to drink?"

He pursed his lips and remained silent.

"What kind of wine do you want? I'll tell them to get it!" I was so nervous that my voice was a little funny, and I couldn't care less at this moment.

He turned over a page of the book and said, "No need, the taste will be bad after all if there are extra things mixed in."

Enthusiasm was instantly frozen by such a cold arrow, and I wanted to continue working in disgrace, but when I found ink dripping on the silk, I couldn't help but clicked my tongue and called Zheng Bingzhi to come and deal with it irritably.He stood up and paced back and forth in the spacious hall.

"Are you...healed?"

I was stunned for a long time before I was sure that this was another accusation from outside the sky. I didn't want to be like a dog begging for food. I was lured by him to put my hot face on my cold butt, so I simply didn't even look at him.

I thought it would stop like this, but after a while he opened his mouth again: "Is the injury healed?"

Seeing his reluctance, I became angry and shouted at him: "Do you want to know? If you really want to know, go to bed and lie down! I'll show you!"

Hearing this, he gripped the book in his hand tightly, bit his lower lip with his teeth, and confronted me with flaming eyes without showing any weakness.

He hasn't vented for more than two months, and his appearance immediately made my stomach burn with desire.

"Go to bed!" I almost yelled at him.

He picked up the inkstone on the table and threw it at me. I didn't dodge it. As I expected, the inkstone just flew obliquely across the desk, and then fell powerlessly to the ground. A corner of the inkstone was broken, and the ink splashed on his own clothes. the hem.

I happily raised the corners of my mouth: "The ones that are mixed with extra things are just like that after eating."

His face was almost purple, and his teeth were biting his lips to bleed.Those few drops of bright red especially stimulated my desire, so I went up to him, grabbed him, and carried him on my shoulders.

To me, that weak struggle was less threatening than cats and dogs, but my lower body gradually became hot because of his pure resistance.

"Don't move around!" I slapped his buttocks lightly, his body bounced a few times like a fish out of water, and then became stiff.

The sound of Zheng Bingzhi leading someone to clean up the dishes and chopsticks sounded behind me. I kicked the door shut and dragged him to the bed.

"I'll go by myself."

His voice didn't fluctuate, he was too clear about what he was going to face next, and I was used to doing that kind of thing with a body that didn't cooperate at all.

Drugs were used on him once.According to the imperial doctor, it was used by the former emperor on male pets.The drug was unexpectedly strong. At that time, he was unbelievably docile and hot. He took the initiative to pester me, crying and begging me to hug him and enter him. Look, I only feel so empty that I want to cry.

I knew that having his body was just a bad idea, far from satisfying the desire surging in my chest day and night, but I still didn't think it would be so uncomfortable to deceive myself and others.From now on, I can only try my best to be nice to him, as long as I don't go out of this world, as long as he asks, I will find a way to get him, but he doesn't want anything.

Throwing him into the big bed, I took off my shirt and almost couldn't wait to cover it up.

He pushed against my chest with both hands, touching the wound that was still a little uncomfortable, I let out a muffled muffled sound, and he stopped in surprise, then looked there with clear eyes.

He didn't add any more strength, and even pulled his arm out from the two overlapping bodies, and wrapped it around my back. With a slight touch, it bounced away like being bitten by a snake.I watched the struggle in his eyes, and felt that the last hand pressed it lightly, the touch was extremely light, and the skin was extremely cold.

"The benevolence of a woman, no wonder you lost to me."

I tried my best to hide my surprise, and said sarcastically, facing his still blank expression, I impatiently tore off his clothes and threw them on the ground.

It was a shocking shriveled body again, getting thinner every time I saw it, and it would not be long before it was no different from the skeletons I saw in my dream.

"Have you taken the medicine prescribed by the imperial physician?"

He looked away. "If you take any medicine, you will die."

If he dies, I die too.There is no need to say this sentence, what happened after his death naturally has nothing to do with him, and even if he said it, it would only get a sneer at most.

I took out the porcelain bottle from the dark compartment, and the fragrant aroma entered the nostrils. I turned him over and poured the liquid directly into the backyard. Curl up.

The fragrance was in the nostrils, and my concentration had been thrown away for a long time. I stretched my fingers a little, and then supported the penis and inserted it in little by little. Sigh.

"Relax." He patted him on the side of the waist in warning, his fingers gripping the blanket turned white, his waist twisted lightly in resistance, the inner wall twisted my protruding part tighter, I almost moaned, I was angry He wanted to push in again, but he couldn't even advance an inch.

"never mind."

My tone was very disappointing, and at the same time, I withdrew my lower body from the tunnel little by little. When only the front end was still inside, his body obviously slowly relaxed its vigilance. He screamed out and couldn't help twisting.

I was also in unbearable pain, holding down his restless torso. "Do you want me to break in there?"

Regardless of his care, he still struggled wildly, I also became ruthless, lifted his waist with one hand, opened the buttocks with the other to reveal a narrow gap, raised his waist and slammed it violently, penetrating into the deepest part every time, the pouch slapped the buttocks, Make a "crack" sound.

The blood mixed with my bodily fluids was squeezed out from the intercourse, and the lascivious sound of water echoed in the small room, his resistance gradually weakened and finally disappeared.

I don't know how many rounds of sprinting, and finally ejaculated in his body, let go of the man who had fainted, I lay on top of him to adjust my breath, and felt warm liquid slowly flow out from the heels of the legs where the two of them joined together. Wipe it, but I hope to see how the thing sticks to his body after it solidifies.

Turning his face buried in the pillow, I saw a few locks of sweaty hair sticking to his face, and his lips were bitten bloodstained again. I stretched out my tongue to lick it, because the delicate texture on the lips was itchy for a while, What was dormant inside him stiffened again.I was both terrified and thrilled by this sinful desire, which seemed endless.

I remembered that he put his hand on my wound before, it should be the first time in four years that he took the initiative to touch it, after all, people are not grass... So, was he moved?

What's so touching?Sun Zhao'an, if your life can wash away the humiliation he suffered, it would be good. How can you expose your wife and children when they died tragically in front of you?

Obviously I have thought it through so clearly, but the faint anxiety in my heart is what I am looking forward to?

When I was woken up in the morning, it was a bit late, Zheng Bingzhi accused me of being negligent and late, and I knew he meant well.It was really too much last night. After taking my elder brother to the bath, I wanted to call someone to clean it up, but I couldn't help asking for it again. When I really fell asleep, it was already ugly.

At the moment when the attendant was waiting to change my clothes, I recalled the conversation last night, so I casually said, "Tell the imperial dining room that the dishes can taste better." The wine incident made me feel bad, so let's avoid it for now.

"Yes."

"No need."

A lazy and powerless voice came from behind the tent. I didn't expect him to speak about such a trivial matter, and I was surprised again.

Perhaps it was because there was no sound outside for a long time that he became suspicious. He brushed aside the curtain with his hand, and poked out his haggard face, which happened to meet my eyes.He seemed to be taken aback, and immediately hid himself inside, and after a while he said "no need" again and again, which sounded a bit embarrassing.

I was still frozen to the side, staring at the vaguely recognizable figure in the tent in a daze.After sharing the same bed for so long, it was the first time I heard his voice when he woke up in the morning.

Is the intensity of the meal to such an extent that you have to break the usual silence and take the initiative to talk to me?

On this day, I kept thinking about this matter in my mind, and even accidentally expressed my doubts in front of the ministers, which attracted a group of people to quote and quote, competing to explain the true meaning of "food is the first thing for the people". When it comes to the ban on private salt and the new law on boiling sugar, it can be regarded as a crooked attack with outstanding performance.

Back at Huifeng Garden in the evening, the taste of the meal did not become stronger.He ate first, and I looked away, and recounted the day's events, pretending to be talking to myself, but I was eager for his response.

"The minutiae are worth pestering for a long time."

When he really replied, I didn't know what to say - in front of this person, I couldn't even deal with him in a normal way. Sun Zhaoan, who was resolute and resolute on the battlefield back then, had long since disappeared where.

It wasn't until he took a few mouthfuls of food slowly that I found my tongue: "Food and agriculture are the foundation of the country, how can we underestimate them."

"Establishing the majesty of the emperor and grasping the hearts and minds of the army and the people is the first priority." He raised his chin proudly, as if telling me that he is the orthodox royal who has learned the art of the emperor.

"Nowadays, the imperial court suppresses martial arts and cultivates literature, and everything is done to appease the people's livelihood. If the people under the rule don't have enough food, where does the emperor's prestige come from?"

"Tianzi Weiguang, he naturally speaks and talks in his own way, with etiquette." He looked at me, as if to say that you don't want to touch anything.

"It's true that I deserve the name. I am responsible for the popularity of the people and manage the world. I am the right man. Those red tapes, how much can I do?"

He sneered. "I'm afraid you will never understand why the King of Chu is called Chu Zi?"

I laugh out loud. "According to you, Zheng Guogong will always be Zheng Guogong, shouldn't the surname be Sun in this world?"

He was dumbfounded.

I was happy in my heart, and said calmly: "I am the Son of Heaven. No matter whether people are alive or dead, no one can use their words to overwhelm me. Today, Lao Zhuang's way is very good, so I will pursue officials and build temples for them; tomorrow Confucius will be a sage." That method is useful, and I don’t mind paying homage to it. These praises and criticisms are only for the purpose of educating the people, so why is it the true belief in my heart?”

He stared at me for a long time, shaking his head in disapproval. "Father should let you study more from an early age and find some good teachers to teach you."

"Mr. taught you when you were young, just to teach you a Zheng Guogong who can keep his own place. Later, in the East Palace, there were also groups of acid Confucianists who gathered all day long, talking about monarchs, ministers, fathers and sons, gentle, courteous and thrifty. I don't know that in troubled times, Fangping, inheriting Even if the emperor can't be called a hero, at least he must have the courage not to follow the example of his predecessors, but you," I paused, pointing at him with chopsticks, "are far from qualified."

His face turned pale immediately, and he gnashed his teeth and said, "Are you qualified? I'm afraid there are still people who continue to accuse you of being improper. Killing your brothers and forcing your father to abdicate is not as good as a beast!"

The experience of being scolded bloody, I often had it four years ago, and it didn't just come from him. Those defenders who clamored that their reputation was not righteous and their words were not smooth, and that they would be punished by God, were probably killed by me. , Those who survived were also exiled thousands of miles away.

Most of these people have no other skills, so they only rely on this to win the reputation of being mighty and unyielding. Since they are so dead, why should I cherish them for them.

And the life of the person in front of me was saved by me at a huge risk, so even though he was very contemptuous and wished that I would kill him in a fit of anger, I refused to do what he wanted no matter what, even in face Even in the rare cases of violent rage, one can rejoice that his spirit is acceptable.

"Being scolded by others is irrelevant, why should I pay attention to it? People don't care whether the dragon chair is a human or a beast, as long as they have enough food and clothing, and the tax is light, they will give a thumbs up and say "good emperor" Once the hearts of the people are stable, no matter how much a few people scold or hate you, I can embrace you every night and rest easy.”

He clenched his fists and stared at me, shaking violently. "You... are you so sure that you are a good emperor?"

"It's hard to say right now, but I dare say that the decisions made in these years are all based on the people's livelihood, and there is no selfishness."

He seemed relieved after hearing this, and snorted coldly: "Including locking me here?"

I smile wryly. "What I have done in the past few years is to deal with the many consequences of this greed, don't you know?"

He didn't know what to think of, and lowered his head a little awkwardly.

After eating, he read a book for a while and then went to the inner room. When I finished approving the memorial and took a shower, he was already sleeping peacefully on the bed.

At first, he always liked to lie in the middle of his sleep to show that he didn’t want to sleep with me, but if that was the case, every time I went to bed, I would arouse my desires because I wanted to tease him, but in the end it was him who suffered, and then he slept well on the inside.

I don't have any plans to have sex tonight, and after I got out of the shower, I lay flat on my back next to him in my underwear.She was about to fall asleep in a daze when she heard his voice.

"I do not understand."

I didn't speak up.There are so many things he doesn't understand, even if I want to explain them one by one, I can't explain them one by one, because the most true fact has long been rejected by him from the bottom of my heart.

"Every day after the court, I come to this cage to eat and sleep with me. This kind of life, let alone enjoyment, is much more boring than before in the palace. Why do you insist on taking away the emperor's position?" ?”

He really didn't understand.I closed my eyes in annoyance, no matter how many times I said it, I only got him questioning and ridiculing again and again, then I give up, as long as I am like this now.

"Is it power? You like the way everyone bows down to you? But you said that you didn't use the power in your hands to satisfy your selfishness. If this is true, the power in your hands is just a burden to you, right? You Not to mention the kind of person whose mission is to build a peaceful world, I always feel that you don’t like the life in the high-walled compound, it was like that in the Duke’s Mansion, and the queen was even more diligent to go to war.”

He laughed suddenly, and I couldn't feel the malicious laughter reverberating in the secluded room, and I felt a warmth spread all over my body inexplicably.

"Could it be," the laughter stopped abruptly, he said slowly, "you said 'it's all for me', isn't it just a simple insult?"

The invisible wire mesh around my heart shrank tightly, and I couldn't breathe immediately.

"How come? Even if you like men, you still need as many handsome boys as you want, or are you born too good-looking, so you like ugly people instead? Tsk, your brother and I are not so miserable Bar."

Compared with when he was eating, his mood was almost frighteningly calm, and he still had the desire to tease himself.

"Why on earth did you do so many embarrassing things for everyone? Erlang, I thought I must have offended you unknowingly in the past and incurred such miserable revenge, but why did you block Yuanxi's dagger? That thing Afterwards, after thinking about it, I still don’t understand you at all.”

After speaking, his tone was a little vague, obviously not sober.

I thought about what he said just now over and over for a long time, and finally couldn't help it, leaned my body up to his ear, and said softly: "I have never said a single lie to you."

His eyes were tightly closed, but the slight tremors from the joints of his bodies obviously meant that he had listened.

Should I say more?Tell him again, since when have I had strange thoughts about him, all I have done is to stay by his side dignifiedly, I can't stand his defense and alienation, and put all my eggs in one basket...

If you reveal your heart this time, will there be a positive response?I dare not imagine that he would willingly fall into my arms from now on, I just want to hear him suddenly realize "That's how it is"——

Staring blankly at his eyelashes that couldn't help shaking slightly after all, I sighed softly and lay back to my seat.

Enough talk, I don't want to bother him anymore.Courage has been worn out over the years, and I don't know what I'd do if it still didn't turn out the way I expected.Just stop here, one year, two years, five years, ten years, I just hope that the next crash will come later.