I suspect my roommate is gay

I moved out of Luo Qian's apartment and went home.

I woke up from the cold in the middle of the night, and subconsciously rubbed to the side, and then found that there was a cool bed beside me, the floor lamp was on, and the light in the bedroom was so glaring, I was used to having a warm chest next to me in the dark, but when I When I fell alone, I longed for light very much, but now the light makes me insomnia.

My heart was ashamed, and I went on a blind date again.

What if I meet someone I like who can cure me?My mother probably still doesn't give up, she still doesn't understand.

It's still the same old position near the door.

After sitting down, I waited for a long time, but I still didn't get the "Hey! Xiaofan, your code is wrong, hurry up and get back to the labor and management for debugging".

The girl on the opposite side was chattering and insinuating, I smiled alienatedly, and dealt with it from time to time, my body was bound in the seat, but my mind had already drifted away, just like my soul, wandering around.

In my ear is the hustle and bustle brought by the girl opposite, and my gaze looks out of the window from time to time. Compared with here, the outside may be my safe haven.

Suddenly a figure appeared under the tree at the door, staring fixedly at this side, the lights in the store hit Luo Qian's face, his eyes were full of pain.

He turned around to leave, but I had a hunch that maybe, once he turned around, he would never look back.

I couldn't control my feet and ran outside.

The pedestrian lights were red, and across the road, Luo Qian's footsteps still did not stop.

My mind was blank in an instant, and I rushed forward regardless.

The road in the wind and rain was in chaos, the street lamps and lights were broken all over the ground, and the driver was cursing in the noise, but I only saw the figure on the other side of the road.

Luo Qian yelled, "Don't you know you have to look at the red light?! Do you know that you almost got hit by a car, and do you know that if you die..."

Tears and rain blurred my vision. I was sobbing, and I grabbed Luo Qian's shirt tightly, "I can't sleep...without you...I can't sleep...with the light on...I can't sleep either. But my mother only has me, only I."

I didn't know how to get home in a daze.

Luo Qian watched from behind, I resisted the urge to turn back, walked up the corridor step by step, lingered at the door of the house for a long time, the door creaked, it was my mother.

I grinned weakly, "Mom, I'm back, today's blind date..."

My mother looked at the puddles on the floor where my clothes flowed, and put her hands on my cold forehead in a panic, "You guys, why don't you hold an umbrella."

"Forgot." I bowed my head.

I had a high fever at night, and my mind was still stuck in Luo Qian's last deep eyes. When I thought of Luo Qian's disappearance, it was like a landslide, as if the air had been taken away, and it was difficult to breathe.

In a daze, I received a call from Jiapu——Lin Qing had left.

My mother stopped me, but I insisted on going, so she drove me to Lin Qing's rental house.

And I never thought that seeing Lin Qing goodbye would look like this.

That young man who was still playing with us yesterday, who was quiet and calm, is now lying naked in the bathtub, with his eyes closed forever.

Jia Pu went crazy, lost his mind, and punched and kicked Gu Qing, "If it weren't for you, Lin Qing wouldn't be like this, and she wouldn't be like this..."

When I think of Luo Qian disappearing into my world, I lose water like a fish, waiting for a dry fate, but Lin Qing's death makes me suddenly panic. If Luo Qian is like Lin Qing, didn't he disappear in my world? In this world, but disappear in this world?

I hurriedly raised my head, met Luo Qian's gaze looking down at me, as if I could see through his thoughts, I said viciously: "I won't, Luo Qian, I tell you, if you die, I will find you right away." Someone who looks better than you and has a better personality than you."

Luo Qian smiled and said, "Me too."

My mother was trembling all over, and she hesitated to speak beside her, with a complicated expression on her face.

Lin Qing has been gone for more than a month, and we all carefully maintain a balance.

I had a fever that came and went, good times and bad times, and I didn't go to work until I was seriously ill for a month.

My mother was afraid that a gust of wind would knock me down, so she insisted on driving me to work.

On the familiar street, the sunshine is particularly good. When I crossed the traffic lights, I stayed in the window of the car next door. There were two young men with interlocking fingers. The one sitting on the co-pilot winked at me playfully. I would Heart smile.

I haven't come to work for more than a month, and there are a few unfamiliar new faces in the company. After a few alienated greetings, they are soon overwhelmed by a burst of sighs. The newcomer Xiao Xie took the 99 roses with a red face There was a jewelry box hidden in the petals, which was a ring. With the encouragement of his friends, the boyfriend knelt down to propose marriage, and the whole office booed.

I am like an outsider, dancing with the crowd with my palms, but my soul is like a bird without feet, wandering around.

If, if possible, I also want to be so generous, holding a bouquet of roses, running to Luo Qian's place openly, kneeling down to propose marriage, if Lin Qing and the others, they will definitely boo me for this idea and let me Don't put dog food in their mouths if...

But ah, ifs are ifs, there are no ifs in the world, only results.

During lunch, I received the fourth message from my mother. I was afraid that I would suddenly disappear. I didn’t reply to the message in 3 minutes, so I called immediately. I replied to the message helplessly, while listening to the colleague next door complaining about her husband’s spicy little The lobster was not spicy at all, and the scrambled eggs with bitter gourd were burnt.

In fact, it seems to be complaining, but it is actually showing off, right?

Suddenly, I felt that the food in my mouth was like chewing wax.

After finally surviving until the afternoon, they rushed out like a fugitive. The flower shop at the street corner was full of young boys and girls in their primes. They were filled with love songs. The world of Valentine’s Day was full of them. There was nowhere to escape. In the coffee shop, the familiar lyrics are still lingering in my ears:

Difficult to solve all kinds of worries, knowing each other and loving each other

The sea of ​​love becomes vast, infatuation meets the cold wind

flying across the sky

hope to meet again someday

Treasure on the road at night

Frost and snow in the cold night

I hope the flowers are also bright red, do not cherish the road behind

……

The singing voice drifted out from the wind, but it hit the center of the heart like a bullet.

I think of the white hair on my mother's head, and the wrinkles that can't be concealed at the corners of the eyes, and the lingering in the dark night, and the parting in the rain.

Perhaps in the beginning, we shouldn't have stayed because of curiosity, we wouldn't have met Luo Qian on the top floor, and we wouldn't have struggled and hurt later.

However, this may have been foreshadowed long ago, it is different from most people, just like I like Cantonese opera, I like Luo Qian.

However, that was only because it was Luo Qian, and it had nothing to do with gender.

I went against the flow of people, was bumped into by people from time to time, and walked staggeringly.

Just like homosexuality, going against the mainstream of heterosexuality, there will always be people who jump out to accuse this "abnormal" existence, and there will always be people who don't understand that they should return to the right path and the mainstream.

I floated home like a ghost, and the door opened from the inside as soon as the keyhole was inserted.

Since Lin Qing left, my mother has been like a frightened bird.

"I just sent you eleven messages and five phone calls. You didn't reply. I called your company. Your colleague said that you left work early. I thought, I thought..." She stroked her trembling hands. On my face, I saw the emaciated and lifeless me reflected in the traces of her tears.

"Go, go find him." My eyes widened in disbelief, my mother wiped the corners of my eyes, patted me on the shoulder and said, "Mom won't stop me anymore."

As if being shocked by an electric shock, I turned around and ran towards that place.

I don't remember how many red lights I ran on the road, and what the taxi driver stuck out his head to curse.

He even parked the car at the intersection and ran to the apartment before it was locked.

The elevator seems to be very slow, and the wait is as long as a century.

I couldn't wait to turn my head and walk down the corridor. In some places, the corridor lights were not working. I even forgot to be afraid of the dark, so I walked blindly to the eleventh floor.

When I walked out of the corridor, I was already in a mess.

As if with a premonition, the elevator door opened, a familiar footstep slowly approached, and the black shadow suddenly stood still ten steps away from me...

The author has something to say: I've been waiting for a long time, everyone, it's over, let's spread flowers.