i refuse to be your boyfriend

Lu Zhuge had a nightmare all night. He dreamed that he was being chased by mandrills, honey badgers and dinosaurs, and he had nowhere to escape.

When the day was light, Lu Zhuge got up and went for a morning run, and felt better after taking a shower.

Tang Ling didn't come back all night, and when Lu Zhuge was making breakfast, he came to beg for food with Wen Yan in his arms.

"Zhuge, anything is fine, I'm starving to death!" Tang Ling's eyes turned blue, and he looked like he was dying.

"Okay, but don't think it's unpalatable." Lu Zhuge prepared a bowl for Tang Ling and Wen Wenyan. Tang Ling ate a mouthful, "Die!" and continued to eat.

Lu Zhuge: "...you shut up."

After Tang Ling finished eating, Lu Zhuge sat in front of him with his arms folded, "Shall we talk?"

Tang Ling looked for a toothpick to dig out his teeth, with a confused look on his face, "What are you talking about?"

Lu Zhuge said: "You haven't explained what happened last night."

Tang Ling continued to play dumb, "ennn..."

Lu Zhuge said: "Don't you say? Let me tell you, He Yan turned into a honey badger in front of me last night, and you, if I read correctly, should be a stegosaurus. I don't know what you guys are like. What is it, but this kind of unthinkable and unreasonable thing should be strictly kept secret according to the routine, but you deliberately exposed it to me, for what purpose?"

Tang Ling was stunned for a few seconds, and he looked at Wen Wenyan dully, "Damn it! Why are you so smart? And why isn't your focus on why I became a dinosaur?"

Lu Zhuge was speechless, this man was still worried about not scaring him last night.

Tang Ling coughed and sat upright, "In this case, please allow me to introduce myself again... Oh, there is nothing to say, I can also become a stegosaurus even if I am a human, this doll, his animal form is a honey badger, we usually They all call him Brother Pingtou...no thiamine."

"...Why did you let me know this?" Lu Zhuge didn't even know whether this person was really big or deliberately pretending to be stupid, what kind of attitude!

Tang Ling finally had a more serious expression this time, and he said: "The honey badger is a fierce and aggressive animal. Brother Pingtou is usually very naughty and disobedient at all, but he behaves like a fool in front of you, you know Is that why?"

Hearing that Lu Zhuge was suddenly a little nervous, he glanced at Wen Wenyan and found that the other party was also looking at him, "Why?"

Tang Ling said: "Smell. Remember what I said when we first met, you have a weird smell on your body." He pointed to Wen Yan, "Brother Pingtou likes this smell very much, and I don't know why it makes him change. Be very calm."

After finishing speaking, he added, "Of course I like it too."

Reed Bamboo Song: "..."

He smelled himself, "What smell? I don't know."

Tang Ling shook her head, "I don't know, but I think——you are probably the only person in the world who can cure this baby, and you are very suitable to be his father!"

what the hell!

Before Lu Zhuge could speak, Tang Ling continued to howl, "You don't even know, I only stayed with him for a few days, and several of my clothes and backpacks were scrapped, all of which were bitten to pieces by him. For a long time, I have to pick out honey every day, which caused me to be stung, otherwise I would be more handsome!"

Reed Bamboo Song: "..."

He and Wen Wenyan looked at each other, "But... you have to ask Heyan what he wants, what he likes is the smell of me, not me..."

Wen Wenyan's little black-eyed Peas glared, and he ran over with short legs and hugged Lu Zhuge, "Like... like..."

Lu Zhuge hugged him onto her lap, and heard him finish stumbling: "...Happy...Happy...Zhu...Ge..."

Tang Ling struck while the iron was hot, "That's right, he, look how much he likes you, I like you too, we all like you, how happy we are together. And with him here, you don't have to worry about meeting bad guys, Brother Pingtou , the Guinness World Records 'Most Fearless' Animal Record Holder, has either been in a fight or on the road to a fight in his life! Crap!"

Suddenly, he changed the subject, lowered his tone, and pretended to be deep, "It's okay if you don't agree, because you already know our secret. According to the WCO regulations, this kind of person will either die or... join us!"

As he said that, Tang Ling took out a red notebook and rushed towards him. Lu Zhuge and Wen Wenyan were overwhelmed by him on the sofa, and the three of them immediately hugged each other, "Zhuge, let's go get the red notebook together!"

Lu Zhuge's face was distorted, these two people are so fucking heavy!

Probably because Tang Ling was too annoying, Lu Zhuge nodded in a dazed way, and Tang Ling hugged him even tighter in an instant.

Wen Wenyan was caught in the middle and had difficulty breathing, Brother Pingtou was not easy to mess with, he turned into a honey badger and took a bite at Tang Ling's chest.

Tang Ling: "Aww——"

Lu Zhuge laughed heartily, he stroked the rough hair of Pingtouge and thought, smell?No wonder the child was so intimate the first time he saw him.

However, it seems to be good.

Later he asked Tang Ling, and Tang Ling said that he didn't have to do anything, and his usual work would not be affected, "WCO, how many people can't get in." Tang Ling put his arms around him and sighed, "From now on, you will be my little brother. Already!"

Lu Zhuge pushed him away, "Get lost."

He said, "Did you have someone transport that mandrill away last night?"

Tang Ling nodded, "Send them back to the headquarters for research, and send them back after they recover their nature."

Only then did Lu Zhuge realize that this kind of thing was not the first time, and similar situations happened all over the world.

Different animals, similar symptoms, same lightning scars.

But these have nothing to do with Lu Zhuge for the time being, he has to deal with the current situation well.

The messy clothes were thrown on the ground, and Lu Zhuge asked, "What is this?"

Tang Ling said: "Brother Pingtou's luggage, you are his father now, so it belongs to you."

Lu Zhuge picked up a pair of underwear, "...Is this yours?"

Tang Ling: "...you can also take me in by the way."

Lu Zhuge ruthlessly refused, "No way! You're not looking for your daddy Wen anymore?"

"Oh, I found it. Last night, someone from the headquarters told me that Daddy Wen was looking at beautiful women in Russia."

In order to celebrate Wen Wenyan's finding his father, Tang Ling cooks himself and made a pot of braised chicken.

The delicious and tender chicken thigh meat is marinated and then stewed with ingredients such as green peppers and shiitake mushrooms, and then the juice is collected to complete.

Delicious food.

Looking at Tang Ling who was at ease in the kitchen, Lu Zhuge couldn't help feeling that this was probably Tang Ling's only advantage.

While waiting for dinner, he clicked on Moments boringly, only to find that Jiang Mengyu still hadn't replied to him, and this girl didn't post on Moments today.

According to Lu Zhuge's cognition, Jiang Mengyu is a typical Moments madman, and she posts at least two Moments a day.

A little worried, Lu Zhuge called her, "Hello?" It took a long time to get through, "Brother Zhu?"

Jiang Mengyu's voice was muffled and nasal, and Lu Zhuge asked, "Have you caught a cold?"

"Um……"

"Did you not bring enough clothes? Russia is very cold."

Unexpectedly, there was a burst of crying over there, the level of crying was comparable to Tang Ling's, "Brother Zhu, I didn't go to Russia!"

Lu Zhuge was taken aback, "Why?"

"I was rejected!"

Jiang Mengyu continued to cry, "The visa officer asked me why I wanted to go to Russia. When I was excited, I said that there were bears in Russia and I wanted to see bears. Then he rejected me. He said that Russian bears are dangerous. I, a little girl, ran to Seeing bears in Russia is worse than going back to the zoo in the city to see bears, err…”

Thinking of his zoo tickets being used up by himself, Lu Zhuge suddenly felt a little guilty, "...Are you okay? Why don't we go to the zoo to see bears?"

Jiang Mengyu yelled, "No, I've been to the zoo several times. Every time my classmates came, I asked me to take them there. The guy who sold the tickets told me to add him on WeChat!"

Reed Bamboo Song: "..."

After hanging up the phone, Lu Zhuge was still a little worried about Jiang Mengyu, a confused girl, so he went to visit her at noon the next day.

Jiang Mengyu's cold was not serious, it was just that he was hit hard by the refusal of his visa, and he was listless.

Jiang Mengyu said angrily: "Don't let me know who went to Russia, or I will be anxious with him!"

Lu Zhuge was still comforting her at the time, but as soon as she got home, she heard Tang Ling saying to Wen Wenyan: "We want to conquer Russia!"

Reed Bamboo Song: "..."

When the two saw Luzhuge coming in, Tang Ling said, "Zhuge, we are going to conquer Russia, do you have a passport?"

Lu Zhuge really couldn't keep up with his rhythm, "What are you going to do?"

Tang Ling said: "Ke is looking for Daddy Wen, and the headquarters told me that he can't be contacted again. He hasn't returned to Ke after his vacation, and his salary will be deducted! We can go to him so that we can go on a trip together, anyway. You still have vacations."

"I also need to go?"

Tang Ling was puzzled, "Who will take care of the children if you don't go?"

Lu Zhuge: "...I can take the kids if I don't go."

Tang Ling said: "But Brother Pingtou is going, Daddy Wen raised us up, and we are all worried about him."

Wen Wenyan nodded aside, "Bamboo...song... together..."

Lu Zhuge thought about how he would face Jiang Mengyu now.

The author has something to say: [Small Theater]

Tang Ling: "Let's go get the red books together!"

Lu Zhuge: "What red book?"

Tang Ling: "You can hehehe red book."

Reed Bamboo Song: "???"