unspeakable love

"Congratulations then! I'm really happy for you."

Xu Xiaochuan's words were insincere, and when he said these words, his heart ached badly.

"Xiaochuan, are you really happy for me?" Lin Kai suddenly turned his head to look at Xu Xiaochuan, his eyes were a little sad, and his expression was very serious.

"When... of course!"

Being stared at by Lin Kai like this, Xu Xiaochuan felt a little guilty.

"Well, that's good. If you think it's good, I'm very happy. I hope we can all be happy."

Xu Xiaochuan's heart clenched tightly, he felt that he could not continue to chat with Lin Kai, and he really wanted to end this heart-wrenching conversation.

"Of course, we will all be happy. I'm a little sleepy. I want to go back to sleep." After speaking, Xu Xiaochuan got up from the sofa in a panic, and then hurried upstairs.

Xu Xiaochuan feels that he is really terminally ill, why has he become so strange recently?Why do you care so much about Lin Kai and Lu Lingfeng's relationship?Why do I feel sad seeing Lin Kai happy?

Xu Xiaochuan was in pain and confused. He lay on the bed and couldn't sleep, feeling very depressed.

After getting off work the next night, Xu Xiaochuan suddenly didn't want to go back to that empty room. He was afraid of being alone. He felt that Lin Kai was definitely not at home. He didn't want to sit on the sofa alone and watch boring TV programs.Feeling depressed, Xu Xiaochuan suddenly wanted to go to the bar for a drink.

After getting off the bus, he actually walked into that gay bar.

Xu Xiaochuan suddenly wanted to sit here. Although he was not interested in men, he really liked the cocktails made here, which were indeed delicious.

In the Blue Night Bar, the lights are ambiguous and dim, and the music is still blaring and hilarious. On the dance floor, the handsome men are dancing wildly with their waists twisted. Everyone's face is filled with happy smiles, and the air is filled with A strong smell of smoke.

Xu Xiaochuan sat down in front of the bar, looked at the handsome bartender and said, "Give me a Margarita, thank you."

The bartender looked at Xu Xiaochuan and smiled slightly: "Okay, please wait a moment." After speaking, he began to fiddle with the bottles and cans in his hand.

At this moment, Xu Xiaochuan suddenly felt someone approaching him behind him, he turned his head in surprise and saw a familiar face.

"It's really you! I thought I was wrong!" the man said while looking at Xu Xiaochuan with a smile, and sat down beside him.

Xu Xiaochuan didn't forget the man who talked to him. When he came to this bar for the first time, he met the man who didn't know the name but told him a poignant love story.

"It's you, we met again." Xu Xiaochuan looked at the man and smiled a bright smile.

"Why are you here again? Didn't you say that you don't like men? Don't you come here because of curiosity?" The man looked at Xu Xiaochuan with a smile and said.

"The first time I came here was indeed out of curiosity, but this time it was because the wine here is delicious, so I came again." Xu Xiaochuan looked at the man and said with a smile. At this time, the bartender mixed a glass Margaret, as blue as the ocean, was placed in front of Xu Xiaochuan.

Xu Xiaochuan remembered that when he met a man for the first time, he bought himself a glass of wine, and today he should treat the man to a drink as well.

Thinking of this, Xu Xiaochuan looked at the bartender and said, "Give this gentleman a glass of whiskey."

Xu Xiaochuan's words made the man's expression stagnate: "Are you buying me a drink?"

"Yeah, didn't you buy me a drink last time too!"

The corner of the man's mouth raised up in a big arc, showing a bright smile: "Thank you. By the way, my name is Qiangyu, what's your name?"

The man's name made Xu Xiaochuan feel very strange, it was the first time he heard someone with the surname Qiang.

"Your name is Qiang?"

Xu Xiaochuan looked at the man in disbelief and said.

"Yeah, my surname is rare, and many people are surprised when they hear my surname!"

"It's quite surprising. My name is Xu Xiaochuan, nice to meet you." Xu Xiaochuan looked at the man and smiled, then picked up the wine glass in front of him, raised his head and took a sip of the wine with thin lips.

"Your name is Xu Xiaochuan. I remember it. I am very glad that we can meet again. But I think you are not in a good mood today. Have you encountered any unhappy things?"

"Yeah, my friend has a boyfriend. This is exactly what I want. I should be happy, but why do I feel sad?" Xu Xiaochuan looked at the man in confusion, his brows were furrowed , What I can't tell in my heart is not the taste.

The man stared at Xu Xiaochuan thoughtfully for a while, then said with a smile: "I think you are in love with your friend, he has already entered your heart unknowingly."

The man's words made Xu Xiaochuan feel terrified. He himself felt so before, and now even the man said the same. Xu Xiaochuan felt that he was finished, as if the end of the world was coming, which made him feel panicked.

"Am I really..."

Xu Xiaochuan looked at the man blankly in horror, his heart fell into an ice cave.

"I think you are in love with your friend. Really, otherwise you wouldn't be so sad. People only know how to cherish when they lose it. In the past, your friend has been chasing you by your side all the time. You don't feel anything, but he suddenly leaves you and is with someone else, and you suddenly realize that you really care about him. You have fallen in love with your friend before you know it!"

The man drew a very positive conclusion for Xu Xiaochuan, which made Xu Xiaochuan even more desperate and frightened.

Falling in love with Lin Kai means that I have really become gay, I can no longer get married and have children, I can't let my parents have grandchildren, and I have to bear all kinds of pressure from my parents and the outside world, and I am looked down upon by others. When I think of these things, Xu Xiaochuan feels scared panic.

"No! No! I can't fall in love with him! I can't!" Xu Xiaochuan's hands trembled because of panic. He tremblingly brought the wine glass to his lips, then raised his head and swallowed the last sip of wine in the glass drink up.

"Love can't be forced, but once it comes, you can't escape it if you want."

The man's words made Xu Xiaochuan's heart sink to the bottom. He thought that being with Lin Kai was just feeling too lonely, and his attachment to Lin Kai was just a friendship. He once vowed that he would not fall in love with a man. But even I didn't think that maybe when I said this, I fell in love with that man unknowingly.

"But I can't fall in love with him! I can't like men! My parents want me to give them a grandson! I have to carry on the family line of our Xu family! And I can't be judged, I don't want to be Being cast aside and being looked down upon by others, I can't live in such a humble and humiliating way, I can't do it!"

Xu Xiaochuan admitted that he was not brave enough to love, even if he really fell in love with Lin Kai, he would not be able to face this relationship. There were too many things he could not bear, Xu Xiaochuan felt very scared.

"You are indeed not brave enough. You are a cowardly man. I know very well that gay love is indeed hard. This road is not easy to go on. You will experience a lot of hardships and bear a lot of pressure, but I feel that if two people If you really love each other, why should you care about other people’s eyes? Even if the whole world rejects you, so what? As long as that person truly loves you, you will be happy together, no matter how big the world is, if there is no one who can share your heart with you People who are in the same boat through thick and thin, what is the meaning of living in this world? To be with the one you love, even if the world that belongs to you is only as big as a palm, you are happy."

The man's eyes were shining with the tears of elites. Xu Xiaochuan knew that the man was expressing his feelings. He and his lover are now separated by yin and yang. If they want to be together, there is no chance. He just doesn't want to see these living people who love each other but We can't be together, we just don't want such a pity to happen.But Xu Xiaochuan really doesn't have the courage to love Lin Kai, he is not brave enough.

"I can't! I won't love a man! I really can't! I can't bear it!"

Xu Xiaochuan shook his head in despair, his heart hurt very much.

The man looked at Xu Xiaochuan who was in pain and couldn't help sighing: "Hey! Love is really tormenting, and I don't know how to help you, but if you really can't love that man, you'd better stay away from him One point, so that you will not suffer any more, and you will gradually forget him, if you can never see him again for the rest of your life, or you can make a girlfriend, maybe you will forget him faster."

"You're right! I should stay away from him!"

Originally, Xu Xiaochuan planned to move out, but now that Lin Kai already has a boyfriend, he would feel very strange and awkward living in Lin Kai's house again.

The man gave Xu Xiaochuan a helpless and sympathetic look and got up from the chair: "Okay, I have something to do and I should go. By the way, this is my business card. It is also a kind of fate that we met. If you If you need my help with anything, you can come to me." As he spoke, the man handed Xu Xiaochuan a business card.

Xu Xiaochuan quickly and politely took it over and looked at it: "I don't have a business card, sorry."

"It's okay, if you want to treat me as a friend and want to come out for a drink with me, you can find me anytime, I'm glad to meet you."

"Me too."

"Then I'll go first, bye." After speaking, the man looked at Xu Xiaochuan and smiled slightly, then turned and walked away.

After the man left, Xu Xiaochuan drank a few more glasses of wine. He raised his arm and looked at the watch on his wrist, and found that it was already 09:30 before he knew it. Xu Xiaochuan felt that it was time to go back.

Standing up from the chair, Xu Xiaochuan walked out of the Blue Night Bar, then hailed a taxi and returned home.

Getting off the taxi, Xu Xiaochuan walked towards the door of the villa.Just when he was about to take out the key to open the door, he suddenly found that the door was ajar, which showed that Lin Kai had already returned.

When Xu Xiaochuan realized this, he was a little nervous and at a loss. He didn't know how to face Lin Kai.

Xu Xiaochuan pushed open the door and walked into the villa. The moment he opened the door and walked in, he was stunned by the scene in front of him.

Xu Xiaochuan clearly saw Lin Kai and Lu Lingfeng sitting on the Italian leather sofa in the living room. They were staring at each other affectionately at this moment, and their handsome faces were slowly approaching each other.

Hearing footsteps at the door, the two turned their heads to look at the door in surprise.

Xu Xiaochuan didn't expect to encounter this scene. He felt that he came back at the wrong time, and stood awkwardly at the door. Xu Xiaochuan didn't know what to say and what to do. His face was flushed and he looked at Lin at a loss. Kai and Lu Lingfeng.

The good thing was disturbed by Xu Xiaochuan, Lu Lingfeng showed displeasure on his face, he got up from the sofa resentfully, raised his hand to straighten his wrinkled shirt.

Lin Kai blushed in embarrassment, as if he was at a loss. Lu Lingfeng sent him back just now, and when he walked to the door, Lu Lingfeng couldn't wait to kiss him. The two entangled all the way from the door to the sofa, even the door. Didn't have time to close it.

Lin Kai hurriedly stood up and straightened his messy hair and clothes, then looked at Xu Xiaochuan with a blushing face and said, "Xiaochuan, you are back!"

"Well... I'll go back to my room to rest first." Xu Xiaochuan walked upstairs in panic as he spoke, his heart beating fast.

This heartbreaking and embarrassing scene has been lingering in Xu Xiaochuan's mind. He went back to the room and lay on the bed thinking about what happened just now.

At this time, Xu Xiaochuan had a strong urge to urinate, and he had to go to the bathroom to solve it, but the bathroom in the room was broken and he had to go to the bathroom at the end of the corridor.Xu Xiaochuan jumped out of bed and walked to the door. When he opened the door, he vaguely heard Lu Lingfeng's complaint from downstairs: "Lin Kai, you should let him move out, it's too inconvenient for him to live here , Besides, he should have his own life, and shouldn't live with you all the time, doesn't he even have girlfriends?"

Lu Lingfeng, who was ruined by Xu Xiaochuan, was very unhappy, he looked at Lin Kai with black lines and said.

"Xiaochuan is my friend. He has no financial means now. It is too expensive for him to rent a house outside. I have so many rooms here, let him live! If you feel inconvenient, we will go there later. Your home."

Lin Kai didn't intend to drive Xu Xiaochuan away, which made Lu Lingfeng a little dissatisfied, but seeing Lin Kai's stubborn appearance, Lu Lingfeng couldn't say anything more, he didn't want to quarrel with Lin Kai because of Xu Xiaochuan's matter and hurt him emotion.

The conversation between the two was overheard by Xu Xiaochuan. Although Lin Kai didn't want to drive him away, Xu Xiaochuan had already made plans to leave. Staying here by himself would be superfluous and very annoying. Even if this incident didn't happen today, Xu Xiaochuan would I made up my mind to move out.