Anyang of Our Boyhood

After telling Mother An and An Mi in the hospital that day that she didn't like girls, a long time later, her mother said: "I don't like girls if I don't like them. My son is so good, he definitely deserves the best. If someone treats you and you in the future People you like give pointers, you have to be mentally prepared, this is a difficult road, if your sexual orientation can change, I really don’t want you to go this road.” My mother cried as she spoke, her voice choked Said: "But Mom also understands, if your sister and I don't support you, who else will support you? I just hope you are well."

Perhaps because of the previous incident, my mother and sister felt that as long as I was doing well, I dare not ask too much for anything else!

Several times I saw my mother and sister secretly watching movies or books about "gay movies" and "understanding gays".I was even thinking: am I really doing this right?Isn't this torturing them?Is it torturing me at the same time?

On the day I was discharged from the hospital, my mother and sister said to me: "No matter who I like in the future, we will support you, but don't take your relationship as a joke, don't play casually, and when you are not sure that you really like someone completely, don't give up. To tease the other person's heart, don't wait for the other person to fall into it, you tell the other person that I don't love you, and I will treat you as a good friend. This is very hurtful, do you know it?" "Well, I won't .”

After talking everything out, I let go of the big stone in my heart. I know that my sister and mother need time to adapt, or there is still a thought in my mother's heart: I was only disappointed in girls because I was hurt by girls before up.Or maybe I will choose to be with girls in the end.

As a parent, you always can't let go of your child, and hope that your child will not suffer any harm, but when the child makes a choice, if the parent does not support his child, who will support him?

We all need time to adjust to the process.

Seven days later, I was discharged from the hospital. I refused the nurse’s request to remove the gauze. My mother and sister were very puzzled. I said that I had made an appointment with someone. When I can see with my eyes, the first person I see will definitely be he.

What did my mother and sister think after hearing this? I don’t know, but the day I was discharged from the hospital happened to be the weekend. Logically speaking, Xiaosong must have time to come to the hospital. I waited for a long time, but Xiaosong didn’t come...

Wait! Why do I want Xiaosong to come so much? Even if I agree to Xiaosong, I won’t feel so disappointed! This feeling is like the feeling of being disappointed when Ling Chen said in his previous life that he couldn’t spend my birthday with me because of something.

I think I like Xiaosong, I like him chattering beside me, I like him being sad because of me, he is more sad than me, I like the way he looks at me, I know I am a very possessive person, But now I'm not sure if Xiaosong likes boys, let alone if he will betray me like Ling Chen...

Heh! I haven't decided what Xiaosong thinks about me, I'm just thinking about these messy things here, I'm quite narcissistic now, why didn't I realize it before!

I thought: If Xiao Song didn’t have feelings for me, I wouldn’t break him. After all, this road is not easy to walk. If he likes me and is willing to be with me for the rest of his life, then I will never let him go.After making up my mind, I took a rest and settled with Komatsu when I got to school tomorrow. (Light a candle for Ban Xiaosong T_T)

The next day, I still refused to let my mother and sister remove the gauze. My mother and sister couldn't resist me, so they had to agree with me. After my sister and I came to school, my classmates asked me why I didn't remove the gauze, but I didn't answer them.When Xiaosong came in, I listened to Xiaosong's footsteps and calculated the distance he walked towards me. When Xiaosong passed by my seat, I grabbed Xiaosong and said, "Why didn't you come to the hospital yesterday? I waited for a long time. , you didn’t even come.” There was a hint of grievance in his tone, because Xiaosong didn’t come yesterday, and the former chairman called me, and I wasn’t in the mood to answer the phone.

I "looked" at Xiaosong, hoping he could give me an explanation, just when I heard Xiaosong say: "I didn't mean it yesterday, I was..." Before Xiaosong finished speaking, the class bell rang, and I heard Xiaosong The sound of relief.

Just don't want to explain to me, or just give me a perfunctory reason.

After school was over, I dragged Xiaosong to the playground, and Xiaosong said anxiously: "Anyang, Director An is still waiting for you, and it's school time, let's go home." I took a deep breath, pressed I stopped the tyranny spreading from the bottom of my heart, and asked: "You haven't answered my question, why didn't you come to the hospital yesterday. It's not that you will be the first person I see when I can see. For this reason, I I refused the nurse to help me remove the gauze, just waiting for you, I, Anyang, am a person who keeps my promise."

Since I haven't removed the gauze, I can't see Xiaosong's appearance, but I heard Xiaosong say to me: "I'm sorry, I overslept yesterday, and when I go to the hospital, you will not be in the hospital anymore." I snorted coldly He said, "I waited for you all day yesterday."

After saying this, Xiaosong and I were silent. I removed the gauze myself and saw Xiaosong bowing his head.In fact, when Xiaosong explained to me, my anger has subsided a little, at least he is still willing to explain to me, isn't he?I took a deep breath again and said to Xiaosong: "Look up, I want to see you." Xiaosong raised his head and saw me remove the gauze, very surprised.

I looked at Xiaosong: he had black shiny hair, a pair of black bright eyes, a small and exquisite nose, and a small cherry mouth with ruddy lips, very cute.When he smiles, his white teeth are very attractive.Not to mention that Xiaosong itself is like a little sun, very warm and will not burn people.

Seeing Xiaosong's appearance, I was ready to go home. Just as I was about to leave, I saw Teacher Tao and sister, Wu Tong and Yin Ke not far away. "Come out, I've seen you all." A few people came out awkwardly, and Xiaosong exaggerated, saying, "You've been peeking at us all the time!" They looked around in embarrassment, but they didn't answer Xiaosong's words.

I took my sister and prepared to go home. I saw Xiaosong wanted to say something, but I interrupted him, "Xiaosong, I listened to your explanation, and I followed our agreement. It's late and you all Hurry up and go home." After I finished speaking, I pulled my sister away. Along the way, my sister knew that I was angry and was afraid that the friends I finally made would be divided up like this, which was not good, so she said to me: "Xiao Song, he I explained it to you, it’s fine, you followed the agreement between you, and besides, he didn’t mean it, my sister doesn’t want the friends you finally made to be divided like this.” “Well, I know gone."

My sister also knew how long I had been waiting that day. My sister even said that while I was waiting, she had a feeling that I would disappear at any time. She also said that when I was waiting for Ban Xiaosong, that kind of expectation disappeared little by little. , Seeing her very distressed.

When I came to the school, I walked into the classroom. When Joule and the others learned that I could see, they rushed to introduce themselves to me. I wrote them all down. Xiao Song was lying on the table in frustration. When I passed by him, He wanted to hold me back, but I avoided it. Seeing Xiaosong's dejected look made my heart ache, but I still made up my mind.

I don't want to experience that feeling of anticipation turning into disappointment, and finally despair. In my last life, I have experienced so many times, and I finally mustered up the courage to believe, but the result is still the same. Although I know Xiaosong didn't mean it, but Still sad.