my wolf

Xu Luowen suffered from insomnia, the violent storm in his mind could not rest for a moment, he tossed and turned until the middle of the night before falling asleep, but the dream did not stop, all kinds of people and things were intertwined, which made him unbearable. Liang woke up with a start, and then couldn't fall asleep again.

I sat up on the bed, turned on the bedside lamp, rubbed my aching temples, picked up a glass of water from the bedside and poured it down in one go, picked up my phone to check the time, it was just after six o'clock.

There was a pattering sound outside the window, as if it was raining.

Baa-baa was woken up by him, and poked a small head out of the cradle, calling out in a low voice.

Get out of bed, hug Baa Bae in your arms, and open the curtains, the window glass is mottled with water, reflecting his pale face.Pushing open a window, stretching out his hand, the cold wind and rain hit his hand, the chill was as sharp as a blade, and he was somewhat awake.

Withdrew his hand, closed the window, bent down and put the bleating on the ground, turned and went to the bathroom.

Half an hour later, I came out naked, found a black shirt and black pants from the closet, and went to the kitchen to make milk powder for Baa Baa. I also heated up a glass of milk and two slices of whole wheat bread for myself, and then poured it on Ah Huang. dog food.

After eating quietly, cleaned up, squatted down and patted Ah Huang's head: "Baa Baa and I are going out, you stay and look after the house."

Ah Huang yelled twice, Xu Luowen smiled and said, "Good boy."

Put on your shoes at the entrance, hold your baa, take your umbrella and car keys and go out.

I drove to a nearby flower shop. The shop was just opened, and the flowers in the room seemed to be still awake. She looked even more listless than him.

As in previous years, I bought a large bouquet of white foreign peonies.

In the earliest days, he always bought a bunch of ordinary white chrysanthemums. Until the first year of high school, he saw a bunch of white foreign peonies in front of his parents’ grave, and every year since then, a bunch of white foreign peonies will always come first. He took one step and quietly placed it in front of his parents' grave.He didn't know who put it there, and he also asked the gatekeeper of the cemetery, but the gatekeeper also said he didn't know, as if the bunch of flowers came out of nowhere.Gradually, he also replaced the white chrysanthemum with a white foreign peony. He guessed that this was probably the flower his parents liked.

It was not yet nine o'clock when the car stopped at the gate of the cemetery.

The rain has stopped, but the sky is still very cloudy, dark clouds cover the sky, and the mist in the distance makes this side of the world look extraordinarily gloomy.

Holding baa-baa in one hand and flowers in the other, Xu Luowen walked into the cemetery on the concrete road full of water.

He was the only one in the huge cemetery, and the surrounding area was silent and eerily quiet, which made him, who had always disliked rainy days, hope that the rain would continue and the wind would continue to blow, so as to make some noise and create the illusion of excitement.

Climb up the steps, go up to the highest point, turn left, go deep along the narrow path, and stop in front of the parents' tombstone in a short while.

As expected, a bouquet of white foreign peonies had already been lying in front of the tomb, but it had withered and withered a long time ago, probably because of the wind and rain.

This bouquet was placed here last night.

In the bitter cold winter and the misty rainy night, sneaking into the cemetery and placing a bouquet of flowers in front of the deceased's grave, ordinary people can't do such outrageous things.

This mysterious man must have had a close relationship with his parents.

But this person has been deliberately avoiding him, unwilling to show himself in front of him.

Why is this?

Xu Luowen struggled with this question every year, but never had an answer.

Bending down and putting the flowers in his hand beside the bunch of withered flowers, Xu Luowen said in a low voice, "Dad, Mom, I'm sorry, it's been so long since I came to see you."

He stared at the young photos on the tombstone, but no memory related to them emerged in his mind.

Time buried those distant memories together, happy, painful, plain, leaving no trace.

Parents' names are engraved on the tombstone.

Show concubine Shang Yining, show Xu Zhaoqian.

Xu Luowen engraved these two familiar and unfamiliar names in his heart, for fear that he would forget.

"This is my son," Xu Luowen patted Baa-baa's head, "The pet name is Baa-baa, the older name is Xu Jing, and Shuang Kejing. He is now a wolf cub, and it will take eight months before he can become a human. You must be very surprised, right? In the past two years, I have experienced many unimaginable things..."

He recounted the experience of the past two years and told his parents.

The separation from Pei Shuyan, the encounter with Bai Lang, the arrival of baa-baa, I omitted those tragic parts, and only talked about trivial daily life, and I talked a lot.

"...I have decided to accept the arrangement of fate. I am full of joy and anticipation. When spring comes, I will be with Bai Lang. He will keep me in his heart for the rest of his life. I will not be replaced or tampered with. ...I don't know if I can do it, but I will work hard, and it shouldn't be a particularly difficult thing to love only one person in my life..."

"...I watched a movie not long ago. There is a line in it that says that a person will experience three deaths in his life. The first time is when the heart stops beating. Forgotten. Although I have lost my memory about you, there are people who remember you besides me. This person who comes to see you every year with a bouquet of foreign peonies, he should know a lot about you, right? Does he also Know me? I really want to know him and hear him talk about you..."

"...I've been too lazy this year, next year I have to work hard and make more money. I want to buy a car for Bai Lang, and I want to build a house. It's just across from Tan Jiaying's villa, and I'm a neighbor to him. It's really beautiful there. The mountains and rivers are beautiful, the key is that there is no one, Baa Baa and Bai Lang can become wolves without restraint, and go to the mountains to freely release the nature of wild beasts..."

He said whatever came to his mind, talking nonsense without a clue, and didn't stop until he had nothing to say.

got windy.

Looking up, dark clouds are rolling in, and a downpour should be on the way.

"Dad, Mom, I'm leaving, and I'll see you next year." He waved his bleating paw, "Son, say goodbye to grandpa and grandma."

Baa baa "Wow woof" called twice.

It recently began to imitate Ah Huang's call.

Xu Luowen stared at the two photos on the tombstone for a while, then turned and left silently.

When I went down to the bottom, I met the gatekeeper of the cemetery, a skinny old man who had lived alone in this gloomy and lonely cemetery for more than 30 years.

The old man finally met a living person and wanted to talk to him and move his stiff tongue.

The old man said that he heard wolves howling last night and called the Public Security Bureau this morning to ask them to catch the wolves, but the people in the Public Security Bureau insisted that he had misheard and refused to send anyone.

The old man said that he heard it really, it was definitely a wolf howling. He also said that he had seen a wolf with his own eyes, and pointed to the bleating in his arms, saying that you little white dog looks quite like a wolf.

Xu Luowen didn't dare to stay any longer, so he walked away quickly after a few words.

As soon as we got in the car, it was raining heavily.

Fortunately he ran fast.

Through the car window, looking at the cemetery in the heavy rain, he felt that his chest was full of melancholy, and the sadness was long overdue, which stimulated his tear glands moderately.

Xu Luowen lowered his head and rubbed his baa, his voice was a little hoarse: "It would be great if your wolf dad was here."

But Bai Lang has to go to work, so he can't come with him.

Baa-baa stuck out her tongue and licked him, itching him so much that he wanted to laugh again.

Tears did not fall in the end.

It was raining heavily all the way, and it didn't stop when we got home.

He slept for more than three hours last night, and now he was sleepy, light-headed and uncomfortable. After feeding and drinking milk, he didn't want to eat lunch, so he took off his clothes and went to bed.

This sleep was extremely deep, until I was awakened by hunger.

The rain has stopped.

The room was very dark, and I checked the time on my phone, it was past five o'clock.

My head hurts a little, and my nose is not ventilated. It should be a cold.

He got up and got out of bed, and walked drowsily to the living room.

I went to look for cold medicine in the medicine cabinet, but found that the medicine box was empty.

Forget it, let's talk about filling our stomach first.

Open the fridge, it's empty.

Hold.

He scratched his hair irritably, went back to the bedroom to put on his clothes, went out to buy medicine and food, thought he would be back soon, so he left Baa Baa and Ah Huang at home.

First I went to the pharmacy to buy cold medicine, but there was no water, so I took out two pills and swallowed them raw.

Then I went to the supermarket to buy vegetables, meat, fruit, yogurt... I planned to fill up the refrigerator.

He met Shao Qimin in the vegetable section, and the two went shopping together. When he finally checked out, he paid Shao Qimin's things together.

Coming out of the supermarket, it's raining again.

Xu Luowen didn't bring an umbrella, neither did Shao Qimin, the two stood chatting at the entrance of the supermarket, waiting for the rain to stop.

After waiting for about 15 minutes, the rain stopped, and the two hurried away.

Pharmacies and supermarkets are close to home, so Xu Luowen didn't drive when he came out.

Shao Qimin's left hand was still in plaster, and Xu Luowen carried her things in his hand, four large shopping bags, two in each hand, which hurt his wrist.

All the way to help Shao Qimin bring things home.

Before Bai Lang got off work, Xu Luowen chatted with Bai Chengli before leaving. Shao Qimin asked him to have dinner. He was thinking about the two little guys at home, so he declined.

When approaching the gate of the community, it started to rain again, and it was quite heavy. This is the unlucky weather.

He was already sluggish because of the cold, and he couldn't run fast with two heavy bags. He was drowned in an instant, and he shivered and sneezed several times.

When the security guy saw him, he quickly grabbed an umbrella and ran over to pick him up, and sent him into the building.

When he arrived at the door of the house, he took out the key to open the door tremblingly, and walked in. Just as he stepped into the door, he was suddenly startled.

"Oh!"

Two large plastic bags fell to the ground.

A few apples rolled out and rolled into a pool of blood a step away.

Ah Huang lay in a pool of blood, his eyes wide open, motionless.