doctor is cold

After Yin Linru said that, she walked directly to the ticket window. She looked at the long line, her steps were heavy, but she walked extremely calmly and firmly step by step.

Looking at her straight back and firm back, Zheng Xi felt something lightly touch her heart, she didn't have time to think, she hurried up and stopped in front of Yin Linru.

"Isn't it what you wanted to come? If you are satisfied, why do you regret it instead?"

"You wait here, I'll buy a ticket." Zheng Xi said forcefully, not giving any chance to refuse.

Yin Linru frowned, said nothing, and put his hands in his pockets.

Knowing that she agreed, Zheng Xi hurried to the long queue to buy a ticket.

"Tch——" Yin Linru looked at Zheng Xi's back and snorted, but immediately couldn't help laughing softly, "Idiot."

......

"Ask what you want to ask."

When Zheng Xi couldn't help turning his gaze to himself for the third time, Yin Linru finally couldn't help but speak.

"but......"

"Just today, no matter what you ask, I will answer you." Yin Linru said again, curling up the corners of his mouth, "Seize the opportunity."

"Are you separated from your parents at this amusement park?"

"It's an amusement park, but not this one." Yin Linru said, "And..."

"Ok?"

"Don't take my feelings into consideration, separate or something, needless to say it's so euphemistic, just throw it away."

Zheng Xi carefully turned her head to look at the people around her, wondering if she could really be so calm as she said, and she was very troubled in her heart, if she was really so calm, why she couldn't bear other people's pain so far? Touch, if you care, why can you say these words so generously.

"My problem isn't just about that."

"That......"

"Go sit there."

Yin Linru suddenly pointed to the Ferris wheel.

"I haven't been to an amusement park since I was four years old. I heard that you can see a good view from there."

Zheng Xi couldn't refuse Yin Linru's words.

......

"Hey."

Before going up, Zheng Xi rushed over and stuffed a cone into Yin Linru's hand.Yin Linru stared at the sudden extra thing in his hand, and was taken aback, followed by the manager's urging.

"Why did you give me this?"

"Because I want to eat."

Zheng Xi's answer made Yin Linru feel confused.

"It's a bit embarrassing to eat it by myself." Zheng Xi stuck out her tongue as she spoke, "Hurry up and eat, or it will melt."

Yin Linru looked at Zheng Xi, then at the cone in his hand, shook his head, but still took a bite.

"How is it? Is it delicious?"

"Ah."

The Ferris wheel rose higher and higher, and gradually reached the highest point. Yin Linru looked out of the window, and saw the bustling night scene, dotted with lights dotted the city, and she was in this small space, as if isolated from the world. Inexplicably, her heart settled down.

......

"Find a place to sit."

After the two got off the Ferris wheel, they lost interest in staying in the amusement park. When they reached the door, Yin Linru said suddenly.

"what?"

Yin Linru smiled, walked straight forward without saying anything, and finally led Zheng Xi into a bar.

This is a clean bar. There are quite a lot of people, but it is not noisy. There is quiet music playing, which makes people relax a little bit.Yin Linru randomly found a corner and sat down.

"bar?"

"Not like?"

"..." Zheng Xi didn't say any more, ordered a glass of gin, and saw Yin Linru ordering a glass of whiskey, raised his hands, and seemed to come out often, which made him even more puzzled.

"When I first joined the company, I followed the seniors once."

When the waiter brought the wine up, Yin Linru said suddenly.

As if he could see through his mind clearly, Zheng Xi was taken aback and widened his eyes.

"It's written all over your face, it's hard not to know." Yin Linru said.

"Why did you come here suddenly?" My thoughts were completely seen through, but I didn't know what the other party was thinking at all. This situation made Zheng Xi a little upset. Fortunately, I stopped making more guesses and asked directly. road.

"Aren't you very curious about me?" Yin Linru had her usual half-smile on her face, which made Zheng Xi feel annoyed.

"Do you know me well?!"

Yin Linru shook his head, stretched out a finger, drew circles in front of her, and said, "It's all your thoughts written on your face, I'm afraid others won't see it."

Zheng Xi covered her face, lowered her head, and thought to herself: Is it so obvious?

Yin Linru took a sip of the wine, swirled the glass, and waited for Zheng Xi to speak.

"You said before that your problem is not only that, so what is it...?"

"Are you sure you want to listen?"

"Of course! Otherwise, why ask."

"Do you know where I went after I left them?" Yin Linru drank the wine in one gulp before speaking slowly.

"... Orphanage?"

"Bingo." Yin Linru supported her chin with one hand while turning the wine glass with the other. Her gaze was focused on the wine glass, but if you look carefully, you can find that the line of sight directly penetrated the wine glass. But it didn't land anywhere.

"The time in the orphanage was like a nightmare for me. You know that loneliness? That loneliness with no one to talk to. It's like living in two worlds. Sometimes , I even hope that I can be a little stupid, so that when they are playing happily, I can also blend in. But the reality is, watching them play, I am envious, but at the same time feel childish, and I can't let go of my body to join. Gradually, I was isolated."

"what--"

Yin Linru looked up at Zheng Xi, and smiled slightly.

"But later, I was very lucky. If I was not smart enough, I'm afraid I would never be able to escape from that orphanage."

"What do you mean?"

"The dean at that time was a pervert with pedophilia."

"Ah?!" Zheng Xi exclaimed.

"He asked me to see him several times, and at night, with my intuition that had been outstanding since then, I used various reasons to avoid him."

"Did you know...?"

"I said, intuition." Yin Linru said, picked up a piece of ice in the glass, and threw it into her mouth. Sober up under the effect.

"I don't know what he wants to do, but I sense the danger and my gut tells me not to go."

"Then how do you know—" Zheng Xi paused, thinking of a possibility, her breath stagnated, "You saw it, didn't you? You, you saw it?!"

"Yes."

"you......"

"The curiosity was so strong that I couldn't control it. One night, I secretly ran to the place where the dean asked to meet." Yin Linru stopped turning the wine glass, and squeezed it tightly. Wine glass, "There, I saw everything. I saw that man who was almost 50 years old naked and pressed on top of a girl. There was also a boy who was also naked standing beside him. They were adopted children not long ago. !"

Zheng Xi was speechless, she covered her mouth tightly and dared not breathe loudly.

"In an instant, in an instant, I understood, I understood everything. From that moment on, I made up my mind that I must leave there! The next day, I pretended that I didn't know anything and continued to live. Life is exactly the same as before.”

Zheng Xi was silent, she didn't know what to say, she felt sorry for Yin Linru's situation at that time, and even more distressed was the choice she made.At a time when most children don't understand anything, when they are still young and acting impulsively, Yin Linru who can make such a rational choice, how much loneliness has she endured, making such a choice, her heart How uncomfortable should it be?

"I'm too weak, I can only take care of myself," seems to be explaining, but also seems to be comforting himself, "Even now, every time I think about it, I think the choice at that time was the best, although, What cannot be escaped is the sin against those children."

"Yes, you are right."

These words seemed to inject a powerful force into her heart, Yin Linru couldn't help but let go, she looked up at Zheng Xi, raised her head, and poured almost all the ice cubes in the glass into in the mouth.

"Whether it's the two people who abandoned me or the director of the orphanage, I feel that this world is so dark and hateful. When I look at everyone around me, it seems that I will draw a knife at any time and stab it In my body, everyone is like a demon with fangs. However, the most terrifying thing is that I deeply understand the reason for such symptoms, and I also deeply understand what is right Yes, but I can't control it, my body doesn't seem to belong to me, and I can't help but shrink back once someone gets close. I hate people, but I hate this feeling even more. This feeling of being out of control."

"Then why don't you want to heal yourself?"

"Habit." Yin Linru let go of his hand, and put his cold palm on his face, "Habit is a terrible thing, isn't it? I'm used to this feeling, used to avoiding, and also used to being silent, and I'm used to this After everything, it doesn't matter whether it can be cured or not. Life is like this anyway, and it will be fine."

"Then why did you tell me this?" Why didn't you keep silent like before?

"I don't know." A trace of confusion flashed in Yin Linru's eyes, "Maybe... it's been suppressed for too long, or maybe..."

"what?"

"Because is you?"

"what?"

Zheng Xi was startled, but suddenly saw the corner of Yin Linru's mouth curl up, and immediately suppressed the throbbing in his heart: "Yin Linru!"

"Sorry, because it's written all over your face that you want me to say that." Yin Linru drew two more circles in front of Zheng Xi.

"You are really—"

Zheng Xi was short of breath, a bunch of words were stuck in his throat and he couldn't speak, he got even more angry, stood up, turned around and left, not wanting to pay attention to the person behind him.

Yin Linru laughed, looked down at Zheng Xi who had only drunk half of his drink, stretched out his hand and turned the side with the slight stain on his lips to himself, then turned to the other side, and got up to pay the bill.

The author has something to say: I'm sorry, I originally said that it was updated a few days ago

I won't talk nonsense anymore

Anyway, there will be more time

Hope to comment more

mwah