Golden Boy

He Yiming has an intuition that now that Su Pei is let go, he will never be able to make up for the trauma with Su Pei in his life.

He can't let go of Su Pei.

"Su Pei," his voice became hoarse like a patient with a high fever, "have you really thought about staying with me?"

Su Pei looked at He Yiming—his hair was messed up, his face was distorted, and his eyes were bloodshot. After the "struggle" just now, the wounds on his hands were exposed, and they were bleeding again, dripping on his shirt. And on the trousers, mottled.

He had seen the sad and downcast He Yiming before, and at that time he couldn't help but give him a hug.

But he had never seen such a distressed He Yiming, and because of the palpitation just now, he could only keep a short distance away.

"Really. I misunderstood that you went to Shanghai because you wanted to go further... Anyway, I was a little impulsive at that time." Su Pei said in a low voice.He doesn't want to provoke He Yiming now.He didn't expect that He Yiming would attack him directly.He broke away from He Yiming's hand and moved a little further away.

He Yiming was hit violently by thunder again.Only this time, like a thunderbolt dispelling all the fog, his mind was suddenly fully awake.

The situation that he didn't dare to recall carefully has actually been stored in his mind all the time, and now that scene is flashing in his heart.In the heavy rain, Su Pei walked to his car with a nervous smile... and gave him the gift box...

Then what did he say?He said--

"For so many years, I haven't let you know, because I don't want you to know."

"You don't have to think how painful I am, and you don't have to use your rich imagination to outline a long bitter love."

"As long as I want, I can get anything. I didn't come to get it, but I didn't want to."

"The you at that time were the most beautiful. No one can be with you at that time, and you can't do it now. Do you think I've seen you when you were the most energetic, and you will still miss it when you see you now?"

That's what he said back then.

Now he knows, the real 30th birthday gift that Su Pei wants to give him is the sentence "If you want to give it a try, we can be together."

During this year, he didn't wake up. Seeing Su Pei and Li Yunsheng's relationship, he didn't wake up.It wasn't until this moment that he finally saw everything clearly, and it all made sense—because Su Pei cared too much about what he said, that's why he felt gratified for the straightforward and enthusiastic Li Yunsheng, and did his best to praise Li Yunsheng Fortunately, Li Yunsheng saw youth and success shining at the same time.

He woke up, but it was too late.Just now, he seriously injured Su Pei again.

He Yiming looked at Su Pei.Su Pei's face was pale, but the corners of his eyes were red because of excitement. His eyes were full of exhaustion and sadness, and his posture was tense and alert, as if he was afraid of doing it again, and he seemed a little cold, and his shoulders were stiff.

There was only one voice in He Yiming's heart, asking over and over again, why did you hurt him?

Su Pei seemed to have exhausted his strength, he rubbed his eyes, "It's getting late..." He wanted to leave.

He Yiming got up immediately and brought a blanket, he wanted to cover Su Pei with a blanket.Su Pei flinched immediately.He Yiming's heart was stabbed again - how did he and Su Pei change from intimacy to this?Did he just go crazy?

"Put it on. You look a little cold." He Yiming didn't approach Su Pei any more, but just handed him the blanket.

Su Pei didn't want to stay anymore, but now He Yiming calmed down a lot, and he was too excited just now, his legs are still a little weak now, he wants to regain some strength.

He wrapped the blanket silently and leaned on the sofa.

Su Pei thought, he finally told He Yiming everything.

He knew now that if he was with other women, He Yiming would be angry.And when he is with other men, He Yiming will go crazy.

He could only be sure that He Yiming did have serious psychological problems.But what are these problems and entanglements all about, his mind is too messy now, and he can't sort it out clearly.

He just wanted to go back and get some rest.

The room was quiet for a while.He Yiming's cell phone rang twice, but he only glanced at it and ignored it.

He Yiming finally said, "I'm sorry."

Su Pei shook his head, "This kind of thing..." Just saying I'm sorry won't solve it.

He Yiming continued, "There are too many misunderstandings between us, and I caused these misunderstandings. Now I know, it is impossible for you to be with Li Yunsheng."

Su Pei said wearily, "Of course not."

He Yiming gave it away with clenched fingers, and now he is also covering the wound on his hand with a towel, and he seems to have regained some energy, the frantic look has disappeared.

Su Pei whispered, "If you are worried that I will be with other men, don't worry, I will not choose the more difficult and difficult path. Life is hard enough, I have old and young, I can't Make it harder for yourself."

His words were very clear. He was telling He Yiming, don't be paranoid, don't worry about gains and losses because of this, he won't choose this path again, he is still the same as before.

But that's all, he's just the same as before, he won't think about being with a man anymore.

If it was an hour ago, a day ago, He Yiming might have been satisfied with Su Pei's decisive answer, but now that He Yiming just knows that Su Pei might have been with him, then this answer sounds like nothing. Sad and hopeless.

If there really is a parallel universe, Su Pei and He Yiming in another world may be embracing and dancing together on the dance floor at this moment, or they may be enjoying the play before going to bed and chatting good night on the warm bed.

He Yiming could only keep his mind steady and said, "...But you have thought about this for a person before. Is there a slight possibility that you will be shaken for this person again?"

Su Pei raised his eyes to look at He Yiming, He Yiming's eyes were filled with dim fire, broken light, and finally turned into bitter tears, which slowly flowed down the nose.

Su Pei thought, why does he still feel unbearable for He Yiming at this time?

He just felt that he had to say something to He Yiming.

"I have always admired you, especially your masculinity. I used to think when I was in college, you have this kind of temperament, it is too unique, too rare. I said you were a man's man, and even now, I don't It will change your mind, this is your characteristic, and has nothing to do with sexual orientation. But I have thought a lot in the past few months, in order to maintain such a masculinity, you seem to hide too much of your true self."

"I don't want you to suffer, but I don't know whether your long ascetic crush was too brave or too cautious? Was it too dedicated or too self-protective? So I don't know either, What do you really want, the real me, or an imaginary me?"

Su Pei shook his head, his previous courage had been wiped out.

And today He Yiming's forced contact has crossed the line, he was not mentally prepared at all.

He Yiming wiped his face with his uninjured hand, and said, "Su Pei, don't believe what I said before, those are not my truth."

Su Pei felt better now, he put down the blanket, stood up and wanted to leave.

He Yiming followed him and stood up.

Su Pei said, "I want to go back today, I'm a little tired."

He Yiming felt a pain in his heart, Su Pei didn't say "Let's talk next time" or "See you in two days", he only saw that Su Pei couldn't wait to leave.But he can't stop Su Pei from leaving. He has done enough wrong things and said enough wrong words tonight, and he can't use brute force to force Su Pei to stay.

"Okay, you go back and have a good rest." He said with sourness.

Su Pei turned around and took two steps, only to hear He Yiming's voice from behind.

"I love you." He Yiming said.His voice was not loud, even a bit crying, but it was clearly heard.

Su Pei paused.

"From the first day I met you, I have always loved you." He Yiming's voice was gloomy and firm.

Su Pei paused for two seconds before turning around and facing He Yiming.He wanted to say to He Yiming, you are too cunning.You can't say what you say.

"you……"

Su Pei didn't say a word, because the pain in his ribs made him unable to speak.He reached out to hold onto the table next to him.

He Yiming looked at him.

Su Pei opened his mouth, but his eyes were dark, and a layer of cold sweat broke out on the back of his neck. His chest hurt too much, and he couldn't hold it anymore. He arched his body and bent down.

"Su Pei!" He Yiming immediately went to his side to support him.

Su Pei reluctantly said, "It's just a stomachache...call me a car..."

How could He Yiming believe his words and let him go alone.He didn't care so much now, he just hugged Su Pei to the sofa and put him down, saying, "don't say anything now, you take the medicine first, and then I will send you to the hospital. Compared with your body, other things None of it matters."

Su Pei is no longer reluctant, he is also afraid of death.I only hate this heart for not living up to expectations.