think too much

15

The young master of Ningbi Palace has wanted the wind to get the wind and the rain to get the rain since childhood.In a sense, Lu Xingchuan felt that he could understand why Xu Ze fell in love with him.

Although Ningbi Palace is not considered a famous sect, thanks to Xu Zheng's years of operation, its foundation is solid and its sphere of influence is not small.Xu Ze lived a life when he was a child, and it was a day when all wishes came true.Lu Xingchuan thought that he had never really tried to curry favor with the young master of Ningbi Palace, and perhaps it was because of this that the other party aroused some childish dissatisfaction.If it were someone else, they wouldn't mistake this dissatisfaction for such deep and serious feelings.Lu Xingchuan felt that it was Xu Ze who would soon come out of this childish stage.

Lu Xingchuan even felt that maybe when Xu Ze really got out of this childish emotion, he would be more or less angry with him.Thinking of this, he felt even more headache about the current matter.

"Okay, it's not good to see life and death for a little thing." Lu Xingchuan bent down, took out a handkerchief and wiped Xu Ze's face, and then pulled him up a little harder. "You go back first. Let's talk about it later."

"Still... I can still..." Xu Ze took out his handkerchief, and held it in his palm unwillingly to wipe his face.He didn't dare to hold Lu Xingchuan's hand, he just looked at Lu Xingchuan with snot and tears on his face, "Can I come again...to find you?"

"If you cry, I will agree to whatever you want, so why do you treat me well?" Lu Xingchuan let go of his hands that were supporting him, and said seriously, "Master always wants me to let go of the Lu family's affairs. Why don’t I want to let go of myself? If I can really let go, I can follow you back to Ningbi Palace, write my calligraphy, read my books, and don’t need to work hard to practice martial arts, what’s wrong with it?”

"But you don't want to." Seeing Lu Xingchuan's dark eyes, Xu Ze said, "Why don't you want to?" His eyes clearly showed unwillingness, and he trembled with distress.As long as Lu Xingchuan is willing to accept it, he will try his best to smooth out this unwillingness for Lu Xingchuan.If Lu Xingchuan didn't accept it, he had no choice but to do it secretly.

"Yes, I don't want to. So go back, Xu Ze. You are Master's son. If Ningbi Palace is involved in order to help me in the future, how can I be worthy of Master?"

What Lu Xingchuan said was inside and outside, he only cared about his mentor and Ningbi Palace, and he didn't have any friendship with Xu Ze, but when Xu Ze listened, he had some other thoughts.

"Is that as long as I don't involve Ningbi Palace and my father... Xingchuan, don't worry, I will try my best to help you! Don't worry!" He really didn't dare to listen to Lu Xingchuan anymore—he couldn't say anything. After trying it, if Lu Xingchuan refuses again, there is really nothing he can do.

If the one who retreats to a dead end and waits still refuses, he will really go crazy.

He didn't dare to stay any longer, so he boldly hugged Lu Changsheng lightly, then left holding the man's handkerchief.

Lu Xingchuan stood there and frowned slightly.Since he knew what Xu Ze was thinking, there was not a day when he didn't think that he was sorry for his master.It's true that the Lu family helped Xu Zheng when he was down and down, but when the Lu family was at its peak, Xu Zheng was not the only one who had been kind to him?But when the Lu family was wiped out, the people they had friends with in the past seemed to have disappeared one by one.

It was Xu Zheng who dug out the survived Lu Xingchuan from the wet and dirty rotten haystack, kept him by his side, and treated him like his own son.Lu Xingchuan kept this kindness in his heart.But before the repayment was mentioned, he first made his son think something he shouldn't have.

The first time Xu Ze thought that Lu Xingchuan was secretly kissing him in his sleep, Lu Xingchuan had already noticed it.That was when he didn't realize it, he was lying on the bed peacefully, but his stomach was rolling and convulsing, feeling nauseous.

He disgusted Xu Ze.

He hated himself even more.

Xu Ze's actions almost made him feel that there should be Lu Xingchuan among the piles of charred corpses in the fire at Lu's house that day.He probably shouldn't... be alive today.

It is better to wither with Huayan and return to the rotten soil than to secretly settle and bear the deep kindness day and night.

16

Knowing that Lu Xingchuan had left the Wulin League, Zhuang Qiuyue clenched her fists and was about to hit her elder brother.

"What did you say to him? I let him be alone with you in the hope that you could explain everything clearly to others and then apologize. You are so good, you just lost your popularity overnight?" Zhuang Qiuyue was angry. Incredibly.She didn't particularly care whether the two of them could go on or not, but Ruo Xingchuan was really being kept in the dark. It would be too pitiful to leave alone after knowing the truth after being a substitute for the junior junior brother for so long.

It has nothing to do with the depth of the relationship, Li defaulted to do something stupid, and she is not worth it for Lu Xingchuan.

"I should ask you, what did you say to my Xing Chuan?" Li Moran's voice was hoarse and terrifying.He had searched all over the Martial Arts League to confirm that Lu Xingchuan had indeed left.This enlightenment is in front of him, but Li Moran can't feel the sadness - he can't feel anything.He was full of thoughts, only the fact that "Xingchuan doesn't want me anymore" remained.This fact is too stark and full, crowding out all emotions.

Without getting back his Xingchuan, he couldn't feel any emotion.

Zhuang Qiuyue couldn't bear to see his eyes were red and his face was haggard, but his mental state was strangely excited.

"Oh, I know what I can say, why can't you guess?" She looked at Li Muran seriously, "Brother, I only ask you, now you are sad, how much is it because of Xingchuan?" , how much is it because, 'a person who looks like a little junior'?" Zhuang Qiuyue doesn't know that this is a bad word, but if Li Muran can't figure it out, he will bring him back. Once tied back, it is rare to be consummated.

"Ha, hahaha... Even if you think the same way, he must... think the same way...Qiuyue, I used to never understand myself. Chen Cheng and I have known each other since we were young, and we get along day and night. Killing the enemy, why have I ever been afraid of anything, why I just...haven't even thought about expressing my heart to Chen Cheng?"

"Now, do you understand?"

"I don't say it, because I don't want to. I don't want to, because my heart is smarter than those who help the weak vanity and satisfy the illusion of heroic fantasy." He smiled wryly—laughing that he didn't recognize this earlier. "Xing Chuan is unparalleled in the world. He is not like anyone. No one deserves to be like him."

Xingchuan... is unparalleled in the world.And this person's tenderness and affection, Zeng Quan gave him alone.He's really...he's really...

"If that's the case, why don't you go to him quickly and tell him all these words, and see if you can... make him change his mind?"

"I can't... definitely can't, he is such a proud person... even if I can no longer make him believe me, make him... like me, I want to, I can...keep him by my side. "

Standing under the sun, Zhuang Qiuyue felt a little cold.She looked at Li Muran, and felt that this person was a little strange - pale face, sweat beads on the forehead, red eyes, trembling lips, together forming a somewhat crazy expression.

Maybe when she finds Lu Xingchuan, she will be fine, she thought.

17

It was raining lightly when Li Muran found Lu Xingchuan.Lu Xingchuan walked in front of him holding an umbrella, followed by a girl.Lu Xingchuan smiled a bit stiffly and a bit softly, most of the umbrella was propped up to the top of the girl's head.From time to time he turned slightly to the side to talk to the girl, and he didn't know what he said, which often made the girl laugh.

When the distance was very close, Lu Xingchuan raised his head and saw Li Muran.He seemed a little surprised, his expression was blank for a moment, and then the corners of his mouth raised symbolically, "It's Li Shaoxia. What a coincidence."

"Xing Chuan, didn't you...have you already said that? Between us, don't be so harsh." Li Muran didn't know if he had successfully controlled his facial muscles, so he smiled gracefully.He knew that his voice was shaking, and his whole body was shaking.But he dared not stop.He must go on. "Xingchuan, you have played outside for long enough this time, you should go back with me. Or if... If you have a place you want to go, let me accompany you, okay?"

The rain fell on Li Muran's face and body little by little.Li Muran's eyes were already red, but at this moment Lu Xingchuan couldn't tell whether this person was crying or not.He first gave the little girl beside him a comforting look, and then handed the umbrella to her, "I still have something to do, I can't send the girl home."

"Lu Shaoxia," the girl blushed a little, she refused for a while before taking the umbrella, and thanked Lu Xingchuan repeatedly. "When Lu Shaoxia is free in the future, he still wants to come to my shop to eat fried tofu!" After she finished speaking, she trotted away with her umbrella in her hands and her flushed face in her hands.

Li Moran stared at the girl until he confirmed that she was gone, then looked at Lu Xingchuan again. "Xingchuan, who is that...?" Years of upbringing, and fear of offending Lu Xingchuan, Li Muran pressed down some stinging words.

"The daughter of Chengnan Tofu Shop. She was surrounded by bullies, and I just happened to meet her."

In the past few days, Lu Xingchuan has indeed noticed the strength of the Wulin League.But it was indeed a coincidence that Li Muran saw this scene.This situation couldn't be better for him.

"That's right." Li Muran was slightly relieved.He walked forward slowly, reaching out to grab Lu Xingchuan into his arms, but Lu Xingchuan raised his arms and pushed him away.

"Muran," Lu Xingchuan sighed, and finally picked up the address that satisfied the other party, "It's my fault to say goodbye without saying goodbye. But what I said in the letter I left was not an angry word."

Hearing what he said, I found that the despair that Lu Xingchuan felt when he left has returned.Li Muran's eyes were lost for a moment, and only those two lines of ink were left in his mind——

"I do not want."

"I don't want to change."

He tightly grasped Lu Xingchuan's wrist, so much that Lu Xingchuan was already in pain.He didn't earn money, and just looked at Li Muran expressionlessly.

"Xing Chuan, I beg you... I beg you, I beg you to believe me again. I said Xinyue, you are true, and it has nothing to do with Chen Cheng, and has nothing to do with anyone! Xing Chuan, Xing Chuan, believe me again once."

"I've already believed it." Lu Xingchuan smiled.He originally had a pretty face, but was suppressed by this smile, "It rained all night, only your side was warm. When I woke up, you said that you would trade your sincerity for your sincerity. I believed it. Li Muran, it's over, forget it."

Lu Xingchuan's face was already paler than ordinary people's, but now it was covered with wisps of rainwater, more like new snow that was about to melt, and it was about to disappear at any moment.He didn't look at Li Muran any more, just lowered his head, looked at his hand being held by Li Muran, and said in a low voice, "Let go, Mu Ran. I'm in pain."

Li Muran let go as if being pricked by a needle, and then took Lu Xingchuan's hand cautiously—the part of his wrist that was tightly held by him was now bruised and purple, as ferocious as a badly painted smiling face, which had stabbed Lu Xingchuan's hand. He also laughed at him.

"You already... don't want to believe me anymore?" He seemed to have lost his mind, pressed the injured wrist to the corner of his lips, and kissed carefully, "It hurts, Xingchuan...It hurts so much." ..."

"I know it's my fault, I know I hurt you, but I can't let you go..." He gently licked that wrist, and rubbed his teeth slowly, like tenderness and sickness .

"It hurts too much, Xingchuan, it hurts too much."

"Only by your side can I not be hurt."

Since Lu Xingchuan left, the feelings that had been numb and dead were finally alive at this moment, whether it was love, missing or guilt, they all poured out, flushing the heart and shedding pain.

"You can't leave me. I won't allow it."

He bit Lu Xingchuan's wrist.Warm blood flowed into his mouth.Li Muran's face flushed sickly.He swallowed the blood, then ignored Lu Xingchuan's refusal, and kissed him hard.

"Xingchuan, I love you, I love you so much." When he let go of Lu Xingchuan, the other party was ashamed, pushed him away, and vomited out sideways.

Li Muran didn't care, and hugged Lu Xingchuan from behind, stroking his thin back tenderly. "Xingchuan, you go back with me. I will listen to you for everything else, as long as you stay by my side."

On the same day, the elite brigade escorted Li Muran and Lu Xingchuan back to the Wulin League.

On the carriage, Li Muran hugged Lu Xingchuan unwilling to let go for a moment.And Lu Xingchuan's eyes were empty, with a three-pointed sneer on the corner of his lips,

"It turns out that this is Li Muran and Li Shaoxia, who are well-known and upright disciples of Shen Tianwang."

Lu Xingchuan's eyes were empty, and Li Muran couldn't even find disgust in them.He still felt the pain, and it made him shiver uncontrollably.

He thought it was good, better than Lu Xingchuan not being by his side, better than Lu Xingchuan loathing him.

But he was in pain, seeing Lu Xingchuan even sneering perfunctorily, not even giving him disgust, he was in pain.

"Xing Chuan, Xing Chuan, Xing Chuan...it's my fault, I'll spend my whole life to compensate you..." He didn't make excuses - there was no excuse, he just hugged Lu Xingchuan tightly.

Li Muran originally thought that with Lu Xingchuan by his side, he would not be sad anymore.Now he knows he was wrong.

But no matter how sad, how sad, how painful, he wanted Lu Xingchuan to be by his side.