think too much

The sky was in a trance, the mountains were vast and vast, and a stream of rain and muddy water fell on Li Muran's body.He often thinks himself ridiculous now.The word ridiculous seems a bit free and easy, but it is actually a bit self-pitying.The down-and-out people in the rivers and lakes, with half a bowl of bad wine in their hands, always make elegiac songs with wild laughter, free and easy, and self-pitying.

When he first put his hand on the hilt of his sword, Li Muran never thought that he would have such a ridiculous day.

Even when Shen Tian forgot his body and died, and Lu Xingchuan told him the whole truth without any concealment, Li Muran still felt that it was a very normal thing to fall in love with Lu Xingchuan.The more this young man puts on a gesture of tenderness to achieve his goal, the more deeply he shows his indifference to all human affairs, and the more indifferent he is, the more reconciled and addicted he is.

When he didn't know the truth, Li Muran thought that he wanted to dye his Xingchuan with the color of the world.After knowing the facts, Li Muran is willing to think that it is good enough to have such a touch of snow in the world.

Lu Xingchuan said that he had no sincerity towards him, but Li Muran knew it was a lie.While he was shamelessly trying to keep Lu Xingchuan back, he thought, caresses, hugs, and sweet words must be fake.But it was true that the empty eyes made the moonlight look tacky.

Smiles, sorrows, can't let it go, it must be fake.But the cold hands were holding a sword casually, the cold light subsided, that was true.

Lu Xingchuan's kindness to him was fake, but Lu Xingchuan's kindness to him was true.

That's why everything is ridiculous, Li Muran thought.If he indulges in tenderness, affection, devotion, getting along with each other, and any provocative smile, now he can remind himself that these are all fake, and he will never come back.If so, he would not be so ridiculous.

But he was addicted to Lu Xingchuan himself, everything about Lu Xingchuan.

So he knew how much sympathy he bestowed on himself, how much freedom he had to force himself to do was useless.He is finished.

After the members of the eight sects retreated, the former fellow sects quickly found a way out.It can be said that Li Muran pushed the Wulin League to a dead end with one hand, and he was a fellow student in the past, and it was considered affectionate not to scold him face to face, so naturally no one came to look for him again.And the hatred that Lu Xingchuan bears, as the motivation for his actions, is too legitimate, so that even if his methods are blameworthy, everyone in the Wulin League can't say openly what they want to do for the dead Shen Tianwang .

Only Chen Cheng, dressed as a disciple of the Kongtong School, came to him once.

Chen Cheng didn't persuade him anything - no one advised him anything.Chen Cheng didn't ask him what his future plans were, but just told him that Zhuang Qiuyue was recruiting Wulin League disciples who had not yet joined other sects.As "information", this sentence itself carries some kind of expectation, and Li Muran can naturally understand this kind of expectation.

"Please tell Qiuyue, I'm sorry." At the moment of rejecting Chen Cheng—rejecting Zhuang Qiuyue, Li Muran thought of what he was going to do.

He thought he was not as good as Zhuang Qiuyue.His junior sister really doesn't ask about good and evil, only likes and dislikes, facing all evaluations, her calmness is enviable.As for him, although he thought he only pretended to be Lu Xingchuan in his heart, now it seems that there is still something left?

"Senior brother," Chen Cheng saw his calm and indifferent face, knowing that there was nothing to persuade him, "You take care of yourself."

Today, when his thoughts are clouded, Li Muran has some extravagant hopes.He extravagantly hoped that if the barrier between him and Lu Xingchuan was really just Chen Cheng, it would be great.In this way, he can treat Lu Xingchuan well with all his heart and soul, and try his best to redeem him with legitimate guilt, pity, and hope.

It's a pity that he is now sober enough to know that the gap between him and Lu Xingchuan has always been that Lu Xingchuan did not regard him as a possible object of love.

But that's okay, it's good to be one step closer.

Without hesitation, he cut off his own meridians and gave up all his martial arts, but at the same time he thought, kindness, hatred, chivalry in the sun, drinking good wine, and indulging in pride, all these can be fake.But on a cold and dirty rainy day, the person is far away, with a very faint smile, and very close, the hand holding the umbrella must be real.

He used to think he had that person, and paid the price for being too sweet, and it didn't matter.

The pain ran through his limbs and disturbed his spirit.Li Muran trembled all over, his face was ferocious, his face was pale, and his blood was black.

All right.

In the pain that almost took away his sanity, Li Muran closed his eyes fiercely, meditated, narrated, and roared.

"I met you."

"I met you."

"Xingchuan, I met you."

All his heart, pain, and joy are used to respond to this encounter, which is enough.

Before abolishing his martial arts and finding Lu Xingchuan again, Li Muran still had some extravagant hopes.He felt that these extravagances were justified.He extravagantly hoped that Lu Xingchuan would feel a little unbearable and reluctant.He doesn't care whether it's love or sympathy now, but it's a pity that he can't get love, and he can't cheat sympathy.

Li Muran kept thinking, if there was such a person who was lucky enough to be by Lu Xingchuan's side, what would that person be like?That person should have no enmity with Lu Xingchuan, not let his Xingchuan be free, and not make his Xingchuan lonely.That person should be measured enough, but eager enough not to bore his behavior or make his behavior boring.

He didn't know if the people who were by Lu Xingchuan's side were qualified enough - he actually knew that in his eyes, no one was qualified.

What if it was him?

He has done his best to cut off the entanglement of grievances, and even took advantage of Lu Xingchuan's soft heart to get a promise.Li Muran actually doesn't think he is qualified to accompany Lu Xingchuan, but that's okay, now he can work harder.

Lu Xingchuan has already agreed, so he doesn't have to give up.

"I'll find you—you've given me permission, and I'll find you."

Li Muran practiced martial arts and swords from scratch.In Jianghu, many people recognized his face, and correspondingly, he received quite a few ridicules.Li Muran hardly remembers whether he ever cared about other people's eyes, and now he can't care anymore.

Martial arts may be unpredictable, but the rivers and lakes are shallow.When he started to practice martial arts again, people praised him again and asked him for it.People who listen to stories are always forgetful.

He heard many rumors about Lu Xingchuan.People who listened to the story, passed down from generation to generation, have never seen such a sword, which cuts the enemy regardless of good or evil.Lu Xingchuan is different from any peerless swordsman in the past.He is not sharp, not withdrawn, does not appear strong, and does not show ambition.

He just stood there with his hands behind his back, neither in the secular world nor in the secular world, he also acted chivalrously, and also looked on coldly.

He just stands there, snowing for the people who listen to the story and the people in the story.

When Li Muran found Lu Xingchuan, he was alone, staying in a ruined temple, and worshiped the mottled and faded Buddha statue.

Li Muran suddenly felt his chest full, both sour and sweet.There may be great sorrow and joy in the world, there may be right and wrong, or obsessions that have nothing to do with right or wrong.But he met Lu Xingchuan.

"Xingchuan, I met you."

Lu Xingchuan turned his head and smiled at him, his eyes were almost pure black, although the corners of his mouth were curled up, there was only a hint of a smile in his eyes, quiet and quiet.

"haven't seen you for a long time."

Li Muran only felt that his thoughts were completely stagnant.He reached out his hand, reached the corner of Lu Xingchuan's clothes, and held it in his hand blankly.He wanted to express his heart, wanted to care about Lu Xingchuan's encounters over the years, wanted to try to seek a chance, wanted to take another step closer, and hold this person in his arms.

And after all, he just pinched the corner of the clothes.

"Next, Li Muran."

"Well, I remember."

A vague human voice came from far and near, eagerly calling Lu Xingchuan's name.Li Muran knew that there was someone by Lu Xingchuan's side, so it didn't matter.

The fine snowflakes were blown by the wind and floated into the temple, and when they fell in his eyes, they were cold firmly and restrained, and they were still cold when they turned into water and left.

Lu Xingchuan didn't give him anything, didn't plunder him anything, just met.

At this moment, Lu Xingchuan was very close at hand.Li Muran knows that there is no chance for everything, he is not unwilling, he is willing.

Willing to chase encounters again and again.

"I am happy with you."

"I know."

"Can you say...can you believe it?" Li Muran let go of the corner of his clothes, wrapped the man's cold hands in his arms, and pressed them against his chest.A faint chill penetrated into his chest and spread throughout his body.Li Muran felt safe and at ease.

"I've always believed it."

The author has something to say:

It's over.