Eighteen prohibitions

I was born into a big family, a veritable famous family.

As for the age, I can tell you that my grandfather had seven brothers, my father had six brothers, and I had five brothers.

Of course not including female relatives.The wealth of a family can rival a country, and there are countless servants.

When I was born, my father was leading soldiers outside to fight.

God has given me a strange ability, I can hear all the subtle sounds, and I can distinguish the difference between the sound of a needle and a bamboo stick falling to the ground at the same time.

Accompanied by the rumble of cannons outside the door, I fell to the ground.

The mother smiled happily with her tired body.The midwife yelled excitedly, and the lady was born.

Everyone gathered around one after another, chattering and pointing.

The midwife said that Miss Fifth was born in troubled times, and she will become rich and powerful in the future.The three aunts and six aunts also said, yes, yes, the lady must be very rich.

The grandfather ran over overjoyed: Well, yes, the doll looks pretty.

So he ordered his servants to send a telegram to his father, which said: Five thousand pieces of gold came into being, and another treasure was added to the family, hope to return soon.

Mother: The child is young, so there should be more money to take care of it.

Grandfather: No.

The mother protested: girls are also grandchildren, you should not favor the boys from the third family.

Grandfather shook his head: Men are superior to women, since ancient times.I am not mean to you.

The mother cried: Lao Wu has been running around all year round, working desperately, not for this family.

Grandfather: I know, otherwise I wouldn't have come to visit you two today.

The atmosphere was tense and tense.

Suddenly there was the voice of the midwife crying and howling: "It's not good, it's not good!"

Everyone: What's wrong?

The midwife paled: Fifth Miss is not well.

Everyone: Fifth Miss is very quiet in your arms, what's wrong?

Midwife: Miss Fifth is not Miss Fifth.

Everyone was surprised: Miss Fifth is not Miss Fifth, is it Miss Six?

The midwife had a strange expression: Fifth Miss, she is a young master.

Everyone: How come?

Midwife: It’s genuine. His thing is too small. I didn’t feel it when I touched it just now. I mistook him for a young lady.

The anecdote in the world made everyone faint.

Father returned home from afar, bringing news of victory.

My father frothed and told everyone about everything about the army, making gestures while talking.

Grandpa was puzzled and kept shaking his head.

My mother stood and listened while hugging me, she never took the initiative to interject a word.

My father said that the Japanese are really perverted, and all Chinese women are tortured by them.Then describe in detail how it didn't look like it.

Grandpa couldn't stand it anymore, and said: You talk about nonsense, what have you been doing in the army?

Father: Military training, eating, meetings, singing, and sleeping.

The grandfather asked: Who did you sleep with?

Father blurted out: Woman.

The grandfather said angrily, "You can win battles even with a sallow complexion and a big belly!" ,

Father explained: There is no way, there are many women in the mountains.

The mother interjected blankly: The baby has been born, let's give him a name.

Father scratched his head: What's the name? Our family has the surname "Gan" for generations, and he was born in a cool summer, so let's call him Ganchu.

grandfather:……

Father: Gan Sheng?

Mother:……

Father: That's Gan Liang.

So my name was settled.

When I was one year old, I crawled on the ground, and there were many strange things in front of me, and I couldn't name it.

My father asked me to reach out and grab one, so I reached out and grabbed one.

Grandpa kissed me with a smile, this baby is blessed, and will be the champion of literature in the future.

I was grabbing a brush.

When I was two years old, my mother made me a lot of colorful clothes for me to wear, and I began to have a sense of beauty.

When I was three years old, I could walk hundreds of meters without the help of an adult.

My mother told my father, but my father didn't believe me, so he asked me to take two steps to see.

As a result, I walked into a cornfield, dug a hole and buried myself, with only two nostrils exposed on the ground for breathing.My parents couldn't find me and mobilized almost everyone.

Later, maybe I thought it was impolite to do so, so I wanted to get out quickly, so as not to worry my family.But getting in is easy and getting out is hard. It took me a lot of effort to get out of the pit.

This game is not fun at all, and I vowed never to play it again.

At the age of five, bad news came from the south. The uncle, the second uncle, the third uncle and the fourth uncle all died in battle and died for the country.

The grandfather was so distraught that he washed his face with tears all day long.

One night, as cold as water, my grandfather walked into the ancestral hall with a hemp rope in his hand, and didn't come out for a long time.Fortunately, the old housekeeper sent out the news that the grandfather had hanged himself, and quickly reported it to his father.

Grandpa's life should not die. After hanging for so long, his body was stiff, his eyes were wide open, but he kept holding his breath.

Qi is in people, and no one dies in Qi.

The grandfather looked up to the sky and sighed: the world is unfair, how can God treat my Gan family like this?

Having grown into a little man, I took the initiative to hug my grandfather, and wiped away my tears for him. I said in his ear: Grandpa, don’t cry, there is still a grandson in the Gan family!

Grandfather smiled through tears: Good grandson, have ambition, the prosperity of the Gan family depends on you in the future!

The sixth uncle was simple and kind, only five years older than me. After my grandmother gave birth to him, she died of dystocia.

Uncle Liu was very kind to me, and he often played with me in my memory.

But once he took me to urinate in a field full of sorghum. After urinating, a partner called him to throw mud, but he left me and left without looking back.

There was no one around, and I was so nervous that I peed my pants.

When I was seven years old, my memory became clearer.

The ability to distinguish things is also stronger.

Of course, sometimes there are some small errors.

Grandpa pointed to a water tank and said: This is a water tank, not a water light.

Me: This is a water light, not a water tank.

Grandfather: Wrong, this is a water tank, not a water light.

Me: Yes, this is a water light, not a water tank.

Grandpa slapped me on the butt: remember, this is a water light, not a water tank.

Me: Yes, this is a water light, not a water tank.

grandfather:……

At the age of eight, I began to formally read and practice calligraphy.

Grandfather spent a lot of money to hire a teacher from outside the pass.

This man was old and frail, and he was crippled. He walked unsteadily, as if he was stepping on cotton, which was very amusing.

My grandfather taught me that people should not be judged by their appearance. My husband knows astronomy at the top and geography at the bottom.

I believe it.

My husband taught me to recite the "Three Character Classic", saying: At the beginning of human beings, nature is good, nature is similar, and sex is far away.

I parroted the tongue and read it: At the beginning of human beings, nature is good, and the nature is similar, but the sex is far away.

My husband taught me to read "Hundred Surnames", reading: Zhao Qian Sun Li, Zhou Wu Zheng Wang, Feng Chen Chu Wei, He Lu Shi Zhang.

I am a toddler in Handan, and read along: Zhao Qian, Sun Li, Zhou Wu, Zheng Wang, Feng Chen, Chu Wei, He Lu Shi Zhang.

My husband's reading is dry, not as good as mine.

Since then, I no longer take him seriously, nor do I take reading seriously.