I just want you to be well

I sent so many messages, but after 10 minutes, there was only one reply in the message box.

Oh, there are still fish taking the bait.

I clicked on the message and found that the fish was not what I imagined.

This guy met me at the CDC?Did he check it out too?What was his result?Is it negative or positive?

It turned out that his reply killed all illusions of self-comfort.And the ensuing chat was also unexpectedly innocent.

I don't know if he is pretending to be innocent or acting stupid, and he is trying so hard to flatter me for a cannon.

In my memory, I have long been sentenced to death for love in the circle.How could there be such a simple person who is not for sex but only for love?

The people I chatted with in the past were either coquettish or obedient, or they were deliberately begging for guns.Although, most of the time, I still take the initiative to make an appointment.

Since experiencing my first love, I seem to have transformed from love, not becoming a better person who loves others like in the chicken soup text, but becoming more selfish and more willing to believe that sex is greater than love People, just like many people in the circle nowadays.When everyone chats in the bar, they all happily show off the quantity, not the quality.

Love, once over-involved, is not as happy as a fish swimming in the deep sea; or it is better to sink into the mud and gradually lose its last breath.

While you love him, can you make sure that he loves you as much?In case of breaking up one day, the wound left in your heart will be the same as when you fell in love at the beginning. How much you love, it will be as deep as it is; as deep as it is, it will be as painful as it is.

I have suppressed this feeling for a long time, and even obliterated this idea: from chatting, being friends, cultivating love, and finally sex.This most traditional idea, which is also considered to be the only way to obtain true love, should have been forgotten and cast aside by the changes of the times and modern people.

I negatively denied the person in front of the screen, thinking that he was playing tricks on me and wasting my patience.

Is he just a lonely boy who wants to find someone to chat with him to fill the emptiness and loneliness in his heart?

I felt like he was trying to mentally prey on me.

"You want to get to know me, don't you? Let's meet and make an appointment." I tried to make him retreat.

This hour of silence seemed to declare my victory.Just when I was happy, he replied me.

"Okay, do you have to make an appointment? I'll make an appointment with you."

Well, he won.But my chance also came.

"See you tomorrow night on the Bund at nine."

He agreed, and the word "yes" in his reply was accompanied by many expressions.

I got up and took an aspirin, looked in the direction of the kitchen, went back to bed and lay down without any desire to find something to eat.

*

After several days of rain, it finally stopped.After finally finishing my day's work, I had a casual meal near the company, and continued to sow seeds by swiping the people near the software.

I stared at the screen and swiped the phone, with Anlie in my mouth, tasteless.Why is it so difficult to wait until nine o'clock?

The Bund is still as lively as ever, with endless crowds, and it is impossible to be quiet for a while.Perhaps this is the embodiment of Shanghai's endless vitality.

I looked in the direction of the crossroads and saw a tall and thin boy approaching.

I feel like it's him.He has short black hair, neat bangs, and round-frame glasses that are popular among students now. His skin is not too white, and his slim trousers make him look extraordinarily slender.

He seemed to see me and nodded shyly at me.

"Is that uncle?" He smiled when he asked me, I think it's cute, and the real person is much prettier and younger than the picture.

I nodded, "Are you still a student? I didn't see your age marked on the information."

He looked at me and smiled, "Is this important? I'm a junior now."

When he smiled, he was really cute. His two front teeth were exposed like rabbits, and the smile with big eyes was not necessarily small.

For a moment, I felt that I wanted to pat his head lightly, maybe it was because he was younger than me.He clutched his shoulder bag tightly, feeling a little nervous, looking at me cautiously, sometimes avoiding.

He is very similar to my first love, and I seem to have returned to the scene when I met my first love for the first time.At that time, we were shy and young. Although we looked at each other in blank dismay, we wanted to strike up a conversation and learn more about him.It's a pity that in the green memories back then, he wasn't as cute as I imagined, at least I don't have the urge to touch the boy's head in front of me now.

I patted him on the shoulder, trying to divert the attention from the thoughts in my mind, "Don't you really want to see me? Why do you get scared and nervous when you see me?"

He lowered his head, "Is there?"

He smiled shyly, "Maybe", and gestured downwards involuntarily with his fingers, "This is the first time I have an appointment with the person I like, and I am still a little nervous."

"Have you never met anyone else before?"

"Yes, but I don't like it very much. Either the real person doesn't match the picture, or it's just chatting that the three views don't match."

"Do you know that our three views will be suitable?"

"I don't know", he wanted to look at me, his eyeballs pretended to look in different places, "but at least you look better in real life and pictures... no, real people look better".

"So you like mature men? Uncle control?"

"I like people who are more mature than myself, but I definitely didn't mean you to be older!" He shook his head excitedly.

"Sometimes I don't know what to call people of your age, usually I call them uncle?" He called uncle with a cute tone, "some people don't seem to like it, they want me to call them elder brother or their names, But I always feel that it is more kind to call you uncle..."

He muttered to himself as if joking.For some reason, he does look young and cute.

"No, you can call it whatever you want..."

We have been walking along the Bund, sometimes talking and laughing, sometimes enjoying the tranquility blown by the river breeze.

"Uncle, how many times have you talked?" His eyes began to stare at me curiously.

"I only talked about one term, first love."

"How long have you been talking with your first love?"

"Four years."

"Ah?", he seemed to be very sorry for this, "Then... why didn't you persist?" His tone was full of doubts, and he seemed to be worried that I would not answer him.

"The first love cheated. You can also understand that the two are not compatible." I sighed.

He stopped, stood by the river, lowered his head.

"Cheating..." he murmured.

I looked towards the river, didn't speak, I didn't know what to answer.

"It must be hard to be cuckolded," he sighed uncomfortably, "Although I don't know what it feels like, the person who gets cuckolded must be very angry and sad. I'm sorry, I haven't been in a relationship yet, so I don't It's time to comment on these..."

I looked at him in surprise and doubt, "Haven't been in a relationship? It's absolutely impossible. Don't lie in front of me."

"I really didn't," he choked up for a while, "I've always wanted to talk, but I haven't met the right person."

The wind blows through his bangs, and I look at him.

"Kids, don't make such international jokes. How can you be sure that the person you fall in love with is the right person every time? You have to try it before you know it. It's like buying shoes. How do you know if you don't try them? Suitable?"

"But I believe in fate."

"What fate?"

"Destined."

His answer made me feel naive and naive, but I had to be inexplicably moved by the words "destined".

"I know that when two people are together, character is very important, suitability is very important, tolerance and tolerance are all very important. But sometimes, when you meet the right person, your heartbeat will tell you that he is the one, you don't There are too many rules and regulations, and you just wish you could be with him."

I didn't speak.I have dated people younger than me before, both students and workers, and once I met a college entrance examination.But none of the previous times was as comfortable as this time.

I don't know why, maybe I like him when I first saw him, handsome and cute; maybe I like his innocence; maybe I like his childish idea of ​​wanting to meet true love; expose.

I don't know, I really don't know.

At the beginning, I just wanted to treat him like everyone else, just cheating him into bed for revenge.But when I looked at him, I couldn't help but feel that I was a hooligan and shameless because of this thought.

I can't bear it.

Am I sick and stupid?

"Uncle...", he turned to me. "Why do you ask other people to have sex as soon as you sayhi? Do you really only like sex?"

I looked at him and his eyes were on me.I didn't answer right away.

"Is it because after the first love, you no longer believe in love?"

I hesitated for a long time in my mind and popped out a sentence, "Love is just a fantasy game at your age, it is not suitable for me. I see someone I like, I just want to date, that's all."

"Including me?"

"Yes", I answered him indifferently, with some hesitation in my eyes.

He grabbed one of my arms, "But my gut tells me you're not that kind of person."

I let go of him and looked at my watch, it was almost eleven o'clock.

"It doesn't matter if you believe it or not. Go back, it's getting late."

"But don't you want to date me?"

"I don't date virgins, besides... are you really willing to fuck me?"

There was some doubt and worry in his eyes, "Go back quickly."

"I...", he seemed to want to speak.

"We have met and met, and it can be regarded as fulfilling your wish to see me, so you don't need to contact me again."

I turned my head and interrupted him, and continued on my way.

After the rain, the river in Shanghai is very windy.I was dressed lightly, but I didn't think it was too cold.

I opened the software and deleted the chat history with him.