I just want you to be well

Wei Jun raised his head slightly and twisted his neck uncomfortably. Yin Le was in the room unbuttoning his white shirt one by one.

"I think it's a bit narrow..." Wei Jun said arrogantly.

"No way, it fits well..." Yin Le said with a smile.

After speaking, Yin Le picked up the black bow tie from the dressing table, leaned forward slightly, and put his fingers around the collar of Wei Jun's shirt to button it up.Wei Jun could almost smell Yin Le's exhaled air, and his Mimi eyes seemed to want to kiss him.

Yin Le avoided shyly, "What do you want?"

"I want to kiss you".

"Not now", Yin Le held back his smile and pretended to be closed.

"I want it now," Wei Jun said coquettishly with a smirk.

"No, no, no," Yin Le laughed out of being tickled by Wei Jun's nimble fingertips, "Ah...Wei Jun, you bad guy..."

He tried harder, and the bow tie just tied was distorted along with Yin Le's trembling body, "I'm the bad guy...but you love me..."

Yin Le didn't know whether to laugh or cry, and immediately hugged his neck tightly, leaning his face against his, poking his back with his fingers, "I'm going to fight back if I'm messing with you."

Wei Jun could feel the temperature of Yin Le's face, it was the heat of close touching after the itching exercise.

"Come if you can," he teased in a low voice.

"You're going to die this year!" Yin Le vowed, patting his face with both hands, trying to calm him down.

Wei Jun finally stood up obediently, and Yin Le straightened his bow, smoothing their crumpled white shirts again.

Wei Jun picked up the black suit and tuxedo from the hanger, put it on Yin Le, and hugged him from behind.

"Baby, you are so beautiful".

Yin Le's toothy smile was brimming with happiness, and he asked softly, "Are you sure you don't regret it?"

"What do you regret?" Wei Jun smirked.

"Why do you ask knowingly?" Yin Le turned to him.

"Then why do you ask knowingly?" Wei Jun patted his head.

"Because I'm afraid..." Yin Le put away his smile, "I'm afraid that one day you will stop loving me and leave me."

"That must be something I will do after I die." He pinched Yin Le's nose, "During the days when I am here, you are not allowed to think about it anymore."

Yin Le nodded sweetly.

"It's almost time!" Yin Le's girlfriend shouted outside the door, "You guys are coming out soon!"

Wei Jun and Yin Le looked at each other and smiled.

The two walked heroically on the light blue carpet, and the pure white seats on the beach were filled with friends and relatives from all walks of life.They watched Wei Jun and Yin Le walk slowly into the small auditorium set up by Haiyang Lan with smiles on their faces.Both parents were waiting on the stage with smiles on their faces, especially Yin Le's mother, who couldn't help crying.

The witness looked at the two new couples on the stage with a smile on their faces. They were facing each other, looking a little nervous and shy.

"To be honest, this is the first time for me to be the witness of two men, and I was so excited that I didn't sleep well last night." The witness himself laughed. At this moment, the two grooms met, fell in love, and stayed together at the end of fate. For love, the most important thing is that two loving hearts are willing to promise each other to hold hands and grow old together companionship, regardless of gender or age.”

The witness looked at Wei Jun, "Mr. Wei, from now on, will you love Mr. Yin loyally and unswervingly for the rest of your life, no matter whether you are rich or poor, sick or difficult?"

With tears in his eyes, Wei Jun said with a smile, "I am willing", and looked at Yin Le affectionately.

The witness looked at Yin Le, "Mr. Yin, from now on, no matter how rich or poor, sick or difficult, are you willing to love Mr. Wei loyally for the rest of your life?"

Tears flickered in Yin Le's smile, "I am willing", staring at Wei Jun affectionately.

The witness was all smiles, "Now I announce that Mr. Wei and Mr. Yin have become husband and wife since then. I wish you a happy marriage forever! Now, the grooms can exchange rings!"

Wei Jun and Yin Le seemed to have waited a whole century for this moment.The two approached each other, Yin Le stretched out his right hand, Wei Jun put the platinum ring engraved with his name on Yin Le's ring finger, Yin Le also put the platinum ring engraved with his name on Wei Jun's left ring finger.

"I love you, Yin Le."

"I love you, Wei Jun."

They met each other with tears in their eyes, and kissed together under the watchful eyes of their relatives and friends.

Yin Le woke up in tears.

His body seemed to be sucked dry, and he moved weakly from the waiting hall to the intensive care room.

Wei Jun's mother was already weeping in the arms of her husband.Wei Jun's father frowned and stared at the ward sadly, as if waiting for some news.

They usually wore masks of optimistic smiles, but they finally broke down completely the moment Director Wang came out of the ward.He and the nurse looked very dignified.When Dr. Wang was about to speak, Yin Le happened to be standing outside the door. Through the window, he saw the terminally ill and skinny Wei Jun lying motionless on the hospital bed.

"He's running out of time. He's still suffering from a high fever. It might be difficult for him to even speak. Take the time to spend more time with him and see him for the last time."

With tears in her eyes, Wei Jun's mother covered her face with her hands and said in grief, "Is there no other way?"

Director Wang shook his head sadly, "Mr. Wei is considered a very strong patient. It is a miracle for a few people that he can survive until now. Presumably, he has persisted for you. It's a pity that he should What comes will come.”

Wei Jun's father, who has always been strong, finally couldn't help shedding tears silently. Wei Jun's mother was too emotional, as if she was going to faint, she was supported by Director Wang and sent to a seat in the rest hall beside her.

The nurse asked a little out of time, "There are only two disinfection protective suits, which of the three of you wants to visit the patient first?"

Wei Jun's father looked at Yin Le, as if hinting at him to let him go first.

Yin Le hesitated because he didn't want to say goodbye to Wei Jun so soon, he even selfishly hoped that he would be the last person to see Wei Jun.But when he looked at Wei's mother who was heartbroken, and Wei Jun's father must first appease her emotions, Yin Le seemed to have no choice.

He nodded towards Wei Jun's father, took a deep breath, "I'll go first."

Yin Le followed the nurses to a disinfection room, and gradually covered his body with more and more things, such as thick transparent plastic disinfection suits, disinfection hoods, disinfection masks, disinfection gloves and disinfection shoe covers, as if he was going to fight germs like.But in fact, this is just the last protection for Wei Jun who has no immunity.

He walked into the intensive care unit, where the environment was very different from what he had been used to.The room is all simple and white, except for Wei Jun's blue-striped hospital gown and the life-sign instrument with green lines flashing.

Yin Le is more nervous than any previous visits. He doesn't know how to face Wei Jun who is dying, or how to face the man he loves so much that he is about to be taken away by death.How much he wished that the hourglass of time could stop the moment he sat down, let him accompany him well, and let him watch himself grow old slowly, until he was taken away by death and walked with him.

Yin Le looked at Wei Jun on the hospital bed, his slightly opened eyes were dull only after his enthusiasm for survival had been burnt out.Swollen red spots like malaria spots crawled all over his body wantonly, even his vicissitudes of face were not spared.He hurriedly absorbed the remaining nutrients in the oxygen mask.He wanted to speak, not only did he need the strength of his whole body, but even so, the volume was as low as the "buzzing" of a mosquito.Yin Le needs to be close to his face in order to hear every word of his lips.

Wei Jun knows well that when he lost his systemic immunity a week ago and was diagnosed with Pneumocystis pneumonia and other complications, he was not far from death.He has to fight all kinds of strange diseases in the hospital bed every day, and these diseases are just a piece of cake for ordinary people with normal immunity.He would have persistent high fever and diarrhea, would cough up blood, and would collapse limply like a living dead.

He would often look out the window, look at the long-lost blue sky in Beijing, and look at the leaves outside the window.His haggard and pale face has been tormenting Yin Le.What makes Yin Le even more chilling is that he once sighed to him in a low voice, "I am like the person who 'watched the last dead leaf fall from the tree, and his life has come to an end'".

"Don't talk nonsense", Yin Le just listened silently to his heart, holding back tears from his eyes.

"Do you remember? I was like a ****, ready to explode at any moment, and I felt like, my time...is almost up."

"Don't say any more", he didn't know what else he could respond to comfort the lover in front of him, the lover who was about to die.He could only hold his hand tightly through the sterile film, hoping that his remaining warmth would encourage him to continue to live optimistically.

At this moment, Wei Jun moved his lips vigorously, as if he wanted to say something.But no matter how Yin Le put his ears close to his lips, he still couldn't hear what Wei Jun wanted to say.

He stared at Wei Jun's painful expression that he wanted to say but couldn't. He could no longer suppress the emotions that were about to explode, and his eyes that were already red from crying were once again submerged in the ocean of tears.In this sea of ​​sadness and solitude, Yin Le only saw Wei Jun on the hospital bed.

He could clearly see that Wei Jun's face was filled with the desire to live and his reluctance to this world.But at the same time, he also saw the torment of suffering from all kinds of diseases, and every tense blood vessel and nerve seemed to shout in unison, and it was bound to get rid of the pain of the body and restore the freedom of the soul.

Yin Le struggles in every possible way, even at the moment of Wei Jun's life and death, he is still competing, and he still has a grudge about his four-year relationship with his first love.

He knew that it was impossible for the two of them to spend more than those four years together.He knows that what Wei Jun desires most now is to let go of the last breath he has kept for Yin Le, and let him end his life happily.But he couldn't bear it all the time. He just wanted to be selfish again, so he would be selfish for the last time. Even though Wei Jun would continue to suffer for more than ten hours because of this, he still thought that as long as Wei Jun could live an extra hour, it would be an hour.

Wei Jun was paralyzed on the bed and struggling painfully. His distorted expression showed the desire to be free, but he turned his head desperately, as if he didn't want to ruin Yin Le's selfish long-cherished wish.

At this moment, Yin Le was already sobbing.Weakly and cautiously, he took Wei Jun's bony hand again, gently stroked his forehead with a hood, and then stroked his face.

This should be the last time, the temperature of each other electrifies each other in the two unbalanced bodies.

"I love you...I love you...I love you..."

"I would...I would...I would..."

Yin Le called tenderly in a low voice, looking at Wei Jun who had already been unconscious, hoping to get the same response from him.Wei Jun seemed to understand the three-character mantra, forced a smile, and wanted to tell Yin Le that he loved him too.

It's a pity that his eyes, which were slightly opened, seemed to be about to collapse under a heavy load.

*

Three years and four days.

The eternal blue rose placed on the table in Yin Le's apartment still cannot escape the punishment of time. The blooming stamens have long since withered and shrunk. Withered petals at the bottom of a glass jar.

Wei Jun closed his eyes forever.Until the last moment, Yin Le still didn't hear the three words in his dream.

Wei Jun's parents stood solemnly in the observation hall.Even if every nerve on the face is tense, the expression of mourning cannot hide

Reluctant to give up on him, they still cremated his body according to Wei Jun's wish during his lifetime.

Yin Le kept himself out of the whole process, quietly standing outside the observation room, waiting for the cremation results.He witnessed with his own eyes how doctors and nurses removed Wei Jun's oxygen mask, infusion tube and vital signs instrument at the moment of his death.Every time they took a step, Yin Le felt like being stabbed in the heart.At that time, he silently swore that he would never watch others handle Wei Jun's body with his own eyes.

Whenever he recollects the remaining warmth of his body, he will think about how Wei Jun hugged him gently, how his hands stroked his hair and face, and how his lips pressed against him.At that moment, he felt that each other belonged to each other, possessed by each other.But he was gone, as if all this was about to be taken away.He could no longer feel the warmth he once had from the cold body, and soon, he would never see the body that once belonged to him again.Everything turns to ashes, ashes to ashes, to ashes.

Wei Jun's father walked out of the hall slowly with a mahogany box, holding Wei Jun's mother by the arm, his eyes were red and swollen, and his tired expression seemed to be unable to hold on.Yin Le, who had been waiting for a long time, stared at the heavy urn with tears in his eyes, and wanted to touch the residual temperature under the wreckage of Wei Jun with his own hands again, but just as he was about to stretch out his hand, he withdrew it hesitantly.

Everyone did not hold a funeral for Wei Jun, and no so-called relatives and friends saw him off.Maybe Wei Jun's parents were too sad, or maybe they didn't want others to know that their son died of such a disease, and now they have to send a white-haired person to a black-haired person.

Yin Le just followed in the footsteps of Wei Jun's parents and came to the ashes wall of Green Forest Garden, watching them put the ashes full of his son into a square hole in the wall.

"When the time comes to engrave him, it will be complete," Wei Jun's father murmured in a low voice, but Wei's mother and Yin Le didn't respond.

Wei Jun's parents invited Yin Le to stay at home for the night, and asked him to return to the apartment the next day to pack his things and return to Shanghai.

At night, Yin Le always thinks about the first time he and Wei Jun traveled to Beijing, as well as the cities they visited.He clearly remembered that the two of them stood in front of Hou Hai and said to each other that they would grow old together, grow white beards together, and look at the same sunset while leaning against each other.

He tossed and turned countless times on the bed in the guest room, but still couldn't fall asleep.He got up and wanted to sneak into the room where Wei Jun had slept before.But before he opened the door, he heard the sound of crying from inside the door.

It's Wei Jun's mother.

He stood alone outside the door, listening to Wei's mother's ups and downs sobbing.He raised his head, trying to collect his tears back, but a few drops escaped willfully.

I lost my lover, and Wei Jun's parents lost their son forever.Although he has only been with Wei Jun for three years, he feels that the pain he has endured is no less than that of Wei Jun's parents, even though they are a blood-related family.

The next day, after leaving Wei Jun's house, he still exiled himself in his apartment in Beijing, living a life of "sleep after eating instant noodles" every day in a slovenly manner.Looking at the garbage piled up day by day, the messy and disorderly items have already blocked the small apartment.

Yin Le curled up on the bed like an old man, the wrinkled sheets were like a whirlpool of black holes, sucking him tightly.

He hugged his pillow tightly and cried bitterly, how he wished that this was the pillow that Wei Jun had slept on, so that he could always fall asleep with the familiar smell every night, even though he never forgot it.When he couldn't sleep, he would open the photo album and blog diary on his mobile phone. Every time he saw the happy smiles of the two of them facing the camera, his broken heart could be healed a little, and he couldn't help but raise the corners of his mouth to be happy .

He understood that even if the two were in love, one day, Wei Jun would leave him first.He thought that as long as he cried hard, he would be able to integrate into the world with a smile on his face the next day.It's a pity that he thinks too simply of a love whose outcome can be predicted.

The current pain of losing a loved one cannot be temporarily healed.The only thing he can do now is to wait for time, relentlessly dilute the pain again and again, and let himself slowly break free from the quagmire of injury.

Although the reason is simple, the familiar memory has already been engraved in every brain circuit. When it hit again, the pain in his heart still caught him off guard.This kind of heartbreak and powerlessness is destined to accompany him throughout his life.