I just want you to be well

Taking graduation photos should be a happy thing, but fate always plays tricks on people who are tasting the sweetness of life.

When I watched my parents and roommates having an awkward chat, I found that Wei Jun was walking towards the bathroom alone, and not far behind him, a boy in a graduation gown followed him.Out of curiosity, I finally made up an excuse for my parents and roommates to go to the toilet, and I wanted to find out what happened with my DSLR on my back.

As a result, I still saw a picture that I didn't want to see.

The man's hand was about to get close to Wei Jun, although Wei Jun wanted to break free.

Looking at the stranger beside him, I suddenly had many questions about the person I loved deeply.

I know he loved his ex deeply, and after the breakup, he became a hooker.He didn't get rid of this bad habit until he was with me.Um?is that so?Is it because you love me?Is it because I got sick that I changed this problem?What?I suddenly doubted the logic I made up.

Did he quit the habit because he loved me, or did he have to because he was sick?Even if we love each other now, is he still chatting with others in private?I have no idea.

At this moment, I just want to restrain my emotions and put away all the problems.I don't want the image in front of me to ruin my day.

When the boy left, he knocked me hard.I was very angry, and I was already full of dirty words in my heart, but I couldn't say it.

"Xiao Le, it wasn't what you imagined just now..."

"It's okay, you should be busy first, we will go to eat later, you have to go to work in the afternoon..."

The worried look on his face made me think that maybe the scene before me was just a very accidental misunderstanding.

"Will you listen to my explanation first?"

"Let's go eat first, we'll talk about it later."

Along the way, Wei Jun and I had our own concerns and were very quiet.My mother seemed to sense that something was wrong between us, and she gave me desperate winks along the way.I don't care about her either.

When I arrived at the school restaurant, I realized that it was overcrowded, full of graduates and their relatives and friends.Fortunately, I booked a single room upstairs in advance last night, at least not having to squeeze in with the noisy crowd.

Especially now, I desperately need a quiet place.

My parents politely handed over the menu to Wei Jun, but Wei Jun was obviously not in the mood to order, "You're welcome, uncle and aunt, I'll just eat whatever I want."

My mother asked me back, "Xiao Le, what do you want to eat?"

I replied indifferently, "Whatever."

"How can you be casual? After all, today is your good day. Of course, eat well."

"It's okay," I forced a smile, "Let's place an order quickly, Wei Jun has to go to work in the afternoon."

My mother seemed to understand what I meant, "Okay, then we can eat whatever we want, Mr. Wei, don't worry about it."

Wei Jun echoed, "It's okay, I just eat whatever I want." He deliberately glanced at me, as if signaling me to go out for an interview.

Despite all the reluctance, I made up some excuses for myself and Wei Jun to go out.We came to the yard behind the restaurant, obviously there is less noise in the restaurant.

Wei Jun grabbed my hand, "Xiao Le, it's not what you saw just now. I don't know who that boy is either...he wants to follow me into the toilet."

I sarcastically said, "A boy willingly followed you to the toilet? If he didn't know you were gay, would he have done such an intimate thing with you in the toilet?"

He finally admitted, "Okay. I do have an impression of this boy. Because he came to our company for an interview in March, and I happened to be the interviewer."

I try to calmly listen to his explanation.

"But, most importantly, I don't remember him very well. Besides, the reason why he really came to me..."

He seemed reluctant to speak out.

"He said I'd dated him before and he knew me. But I don't remember him."

"Wei Jun, you were really messed up before. How many men have you fucked?" I was a little annoyed.I know that these are the black history of Wei Jun, but I still can't calm down and insist on adding salt to his past wounds.

"I didn't sleep with him! I didn't even go to see him that day. That's why he still hates me to this day."

He was angry and looked a little embarrassed.

"Then...then why did he tease you like this just now?"

"He just wanted to harass me in the toilet, that's it," he began to calm down, "I don't remember him at all, if he didn't remind me in the toilet, I would have regarded him as one of the interviewees. That's all That's all."

I tentatively asked ignorantly, "Okay. I believe you, but... did you feel when you were teased by him just now?"

He rolled his eyes like me, "What do you think? Even if there is, it's not enough to see how you feel, right?"

I smiled and breathed a sigh of relief.

"The misunderstanding is resolved, can we go back and eat in peace?"

I nodded with a smile, and pulled him back while thinking, "No, I still want to see the photos you took for me."

*

Before returning to the company at noon, Wei Jun bought me a bunch of graduation flowers outside the school gate.Since my parents were by my side, he could only pretend to sound like my own brother, "How can there be no flowers in the graduation photo? Take it."

Looking at his exaggerated and funny expression, I couldn't help laughing out loud, "Okay, thank you boss."

When he looked at me with a smile, I could feel his reluctance.He pulled me out of the close distance of my parents and asked in a low voice, "Come back tonight?"

I looked at my parents, "I'll go home today. I'll go back tomorrow."

"Then I'll spend that lonely night alone thinking about you again," he said coquettishly.

I smiled with pity for him, "Just one night. Wait for me to come back."

He nodded and said goodbye to me.I held flowers in my hand and watched him gallop away, feeling as if something was missing in my heart.

*

After dinner, I sat alone in the back seat of my father's car, watching the night outside the window, listening to "Drunken Tango" played in the car, and suddenly remembered that when I was a child, my parents often took me out to eat, and then went back home together. home scene.

Yeah, I haven't been home for a year too.

After returning home, I put the flowers Wei Jun sent me in a vase in the living room.The family is still the same, as if it was before I went to college.Mahogany desks and chairs still occupy the center of the home. Since parents used IPADs and laptops, LCD TVs seem to be eliminated and no one cares about them.There are a few more landscape paintings in the house, which are my mother's favorite.

Without taking a few more glances at the living room, I dragged my exhausted body back to my room.The originally messy desk was cleaned neatly, and the balcony outside the room was still full of parents' laundry.I lay relaxed on my big bed, rolled left and right, and then picked up the big bear doll beside the pillow, "I miss you so much, Baby Boogie."

My WeChat suddenly lit up, and it turned out that a female classmate sent me a photo with Wei Jun in the morning.I looked at the photo carefully, and our expressions were very funny.

When he wrapped his arms around me, he felt like a brother, like a lover, like a relative.

I zoomed in on the photo with my fingertips, looked closely at Wei Jun and me, and couldn't help gesturing with my index finger on Wei Jun's face, as if stroking him.

I miss him.

Just when I forwarded the photo to Wei Jun, my mother came in with a bowl of red dates, goji berries and snow fungus.

"Son, drink the sugar water."

"As soon as I smell the aroma, I know it's my favorite sugar water!"

"Of course, you've loved it since you were a kid. I'll definitely remember it."

I smiled sweetly, "Thank you, Mom!"

But my mother's expression seemed to change from joy to worry, even though she was smiling.

"Xiao Le..."

I slowly tasted the red dates and snow fungus in the spoon, "what's the matter?"

"There is something, I want you to tell me frankly", she looked a little worried, which made me a little uneasy.

"What's the matter?"

She got up and closed the door, then pulled out a chair from under the desk and sat across from me.

"Mr. Wei this morning, did you meet at work?"

I nodded, "That's right, didn't you just introduce it this morning?"

She still doesn't seem to believe it, "Oh... I met you at your internship place?"

While drinking sugar water, I didn't dare to meet my mother's eyes, "Yeah."

"You two seem to be on good terms. It's not like you just met friends."

"Yeah, Wei Jun is a very nice guy, so naturally we have a good relationship with him."

"Then does he have a girlfriend? He doesn't look too young."

"Mom", I was a little speechless, "I'm only in his early thirties, why is he not young?"

"Yes, we used to be your age and got married a long time ago." My mother didn't seem very happy either.

"It's you, not us."

"What about you? Do you have a girlfriend?"

I replied indifferently, "No."

At this point, my bowl is almost bottoming out.

My mother has always wanted to say something, but has been suppressed.

"Mom, what happened?" I was quite worried.

"Son", she frowned, and asked earnestly, "Tell me honestly, do you like that man?"

My mother and I saw fear in each other's eyes.I know how much she wants my answer to be no.

"Mom", my eyes avoided, I was a little flustered, and the rhythm of my breathing was also chaotic, "I..."

My mother sighed deeply, full of sorrow and helplessness.She lowered her head, and then looked at my complex complexion.

"Your cousin...sent me a photo during the Spring Festival. It's a photo of you and that man in bed."

"What?", I asked in surprise.

"Your cousin said that she saw it in your Moments, and then asked me, who is this man?" My mother said in a low voice, "I checked your WeChat Moments, and found that I didn't find this guy at all. A photo. Your cousin laughed at me, and I was blocked by you."

I rolled my eyes, "Mom, that's visible in groups."

My mother's voice started to get a little upset, "I don't care what that is. Anyway, when I saw this photo, I realized that this is why you don't go home for the Spring Festival? You don't even go home for the Spring Festival, But accompanying a man to Beijing, isn’t that suspicious?”

"Mom, our relationship is not what you think." I felt sorry for Wei Jun and lied again.

"Then what are you?", she asked seriously.

"It's...a good friend," I replied with wide eyes and guilt.

But the heart has long been tormented, like being in a courtroom.

My mother sneered, "Really? But when I went into the toilet upstairs in the restaurant, I saw the two of you downstairs seeming to be arguing. I also saw that man holding your hand."

At this moment, guilty conscience and uneasiness have already been fully displayed on my face.

"And in the morning, you wiped his sweat..." My mother, like a detective, recalled the scenes of getting along with Wei Jun this morning for me, "And you talked and laughed along the way, but you can go later There was a sudden silence on the way to the restaurant..."

"mom…"

"And there's more," she interrupted me intentionally, "how could a man give flowers to a man? Do you think I'm blind?"

"Mom...that's just a graduation gift he gave me, for the sake of taking pictures..."

I couldn't help but rolled my eyes.Were Wei Jun and I so obvious in the morning?

"No, no, no... Even if you want to buy it, your dad and I will buy it for you." She sighed deeply.

"Mom", I took a deep breath, paused for a long time, and finally said, "Wei Jun and I...", but I still couldn't muster up the courage to say it, and I stuttered.

I looked at my mother's disappointed eyes, with sporadic tears.I know that at this moment her heart should be broken.However, I was very surprised by her calmness.

"Son, tell mom. My dad and I didn't abuse you when we were kids, did we?"

I shook my head.

"Did we do anything to make you hate girls?"

I continue to shake my head.

"That means something went wrong when I was pregnant with you?"

I said excitedly, "Mom! That's not the case! Don't be so suspicious."

She suddenly got angry with me, "Then why do you like men?"

"Just like you like daddy, you like boys! It's innate!"

She sighed helplessly, "I always thought that homosexuality was only for foreigners, why even you..."

She continued excitedly, "I remember you were quiet and quiet when you were young. You liked dolls, painting, piano, and reading... Unlike other boys who like to go out to play ball and play games...", she choked up, " I was thinking at the time, maybe you just like things that girls like more often...but I didn't expect..."

"Mom", I tried to calm down her emotions, "Homosexuality is actually a very normal thing. It is not a disease, and many countries have legalized same-sex marriage. Even Taiwan will pass this bill in two years."

My mother's eyes were red, as if holding back tears.

"Mom. Whether I like boys or girls, I still love you and Dad. What's the difference? You don't need to feel bad because I'm gay..."

It turned out that when I enlightened my mother, tears had already fallen from the corners of my eyes.

"Son," my mother stammered, "It's not that I can't accept homosexuality, but I'm afraid that if you're gay, your path will be much harder than others. Can't you like girls back?"

"Mom", at this time I was a little dumbfounded, still pretending to be serious, "Homosexuality is not a choice, at least not for me, I like boys naturally, I noticed it when I was in elementary school. You don't know, When I was called a sissy and bullied at school, the feeling of helplessness was terrible... I couldn't tell you or my friends... It wasn't until I went to college that I realized that even My personality is more like a girl. I like boys, and the classmates around me don’t discriminate or hostile to me. Only then did I realize that there is nothing wrong with being yourself, and you can fall in love and live happily by being yourself. "

My mother interrupted me suddenly, "But you may not meet someone who can understand you in the future... What if they target you, bully you, or maliciously slander you, what will you do then?"

I pretended to be strong and tough, "Mom, I'm not a punching bag. If I encounter excessive people and things, I will never sit still! I am also human, and I also have a temper. A person's way also cures his body!"

My mother was so fooled by me that she couldn't laugh or cry, "Don't do this. Don't I know you yet?"

She lamented, "No matter what, you are my son. When you are wronged, remember that you are a child with a mother."

I was suddenly moved and confused, I hugged my mother, "Mom...", just like myself when I was a baby, acting like a baby in my mother's arms.

"Hey," my mother said with a serious face, "I accept you because I don't agree with homosexuality. I accept you because I love you..."

Tears of happiness filled my face, "I know..."

"That... is he nice to you?" My mother hugged me like a baby.

"You mean Wei Jun?"

"Um…"

"Very well...he is a responsible man..."

"how did you guys meet?"

"We..."

That night, my mother and I chatted for a long time like sisters shopping.Of course, I didn't dare to tell her about Wei Jun's illness.I don't want her to suffer two surprises at the same time.This is too much.

But for me, my mother's acceptance of me was an unforgettable surprise in my life.