you are my sweetie

The first day San Yan met Lu Manzi was in the hospital.

Lu Manzi was hospitalized because of spinal surgery, and she committed suicide because of depression.She and Lu Manzi are actually sick friends.

The two were in the hospital together, dealing with terrible and severe depression.

She saw with her own eyes how Lu Manzi's condition became more and more serious and crazy, just like her in the past.

Lost lover, lost soul.

Others say, what's so important about love?How could it be more important than your life, don't exaggerate.

But what is the importance of being alive?

Eating, sleeping, numbed life—she couldn't find meaning.

So in order to get rid of it, she entered Buddhism and wandered around for several years, but she was still alone.

She didn't learn to let go, she only learned to pretend.

Let others think that she is fine.Hide all the bitterness, swallow all the pain, live with a smile and live.

She played it so well that no one noticed.

After a long time, she sometimes felt that she was living a very good life.

The lost lover, submerged in the years, disappeared in the memory, leaving behind an empty body, tasteless, but living peacefully.

Meaning is meaningful when you don't think about it.

One day, she woke up from her sleep, and suddenly found that the face of the person she once loved so much that she was dying had long been blurred, and there were very few voices and smiles that she could recall.

The terrible time, washed everything away.

Pretty good, she thought.

Little Xingxing, the person whose eyes look very much like that person.

The moment he saw Wen Xing, Sanyan suddenly remembered everything.

When she kissed that person for the first time, those trembling pupils, curly and wet eyelashes were so clearly engraved in her mind... everything came to mind.

Memories, pain, and a huge, bottomless void.

The night of out-of-control sex with Little Xing Xing was nothing short of a disaster.

After the body was satisfied, the emptiness of the soul was like a wildfire, starting a prairie fire, burning her heart and soul day and night.

Every time she sees Wen Xing and those similar eyes, she thinks of the dead woman, so the hole in her soul expands and grows day and night.Nothing can fill it and satisfy it, so it screams hunger, day after day, year after year...

No one listens, nothing fills.

Eventually starve to death.

When Lu Manzi returned to China for the first time, she saw Wen Xing at the airport, and after fleeing in a panic, she went to Zhiling Ancient Temple alone, and finally met the old host.

At that time, the host did not give her the Dharma, but only let out a long sigh: "You have gone through many vicissitudes, and you have suffered a lot, but you never look back, hold on."

Coming out of the host room, she bumped into Nan Ruzhi again.

Nan Ruzhi took a deep look at her, and invited her to offer incense for the last time.

Three tired to go.

After praying to Buddha and lighting incense, Nan Ruzhi said softly, "I came this time to see my children off. I never thought I could see you off at the end."

Sanyan looked at her calmly.

Nan Ruzhi pursed her lips and smiled: "I just had an abortion a few days ago."

Sanyan let out a no-response sound.

Nan Ru knew to herself, "Don't tell Lu Manzi, I've always told outsiders that I'm already menopausal, I'm already old, I never thought I'd get pregnant and kill."

The two were silent for a while, Nan Ruzhi asked softly: "Do you really have to leave?"

Sanyan said: "Yes."

Nan Ruzhi raised his head and looked at the Avalokitesvara sitting in front of him with a sad expression.

"It's actually not good to see through the world." She said, "If you see too clearly, it means nothing."

When we first met, Nan Ruzhi said that she and Sanyan are the same kind of people—people who see through the world and look down on human life.

But the difference is that Nan Ruzhi is a person who sees too clearly, so he doesn't care about anything; while the Three Disgusting is a person who sees it through, and feels that everything is boring and meaningless.

For her to live, only the unresolved pain left by the past is clear, and the rest are all vague and tasteless.

I can't feel it now, and I can't look forward to the future.

Nothing to live for.

She entered the Buddhist gate in order to let go, but in the end, the Bodhisattva could not give her bliss, but the hell could give her liberation.

When death is no longer a scary thing, the act of dying is as easy as breathing.

When she lay down in the bathtub filled with hot water and pressed the tube she made to her throat, she was thinking about Lu Manzi calmly.

Knowing that she was dead, Lu Manzi would definitely collapse.

And Tian Yisheng, after seeing her death and Lu Manzi's collapse, will never dare to leave Lu Manzi easily in the future.

This ending is perfect and complete.

She nodded with a smile, and immediately pierced the blood vessel without hesitation.

The author has something to say: It's over~ I'm following the sweet article "(Quick Transmute) Old Witch, Why Are You Again", please accept~