All men are like my ex

"Why don't you burn it?" Bai Yichen had already burnt most of the paintings, leaving only a few paintings by his side to be burned, he didn't wait for Shi Yinan to answer his question, he slightly hooked the corner of his lower lip and said , "Anyway, the painting...is not you."

Bai Yichen looked at the paintings in his hand, and smiled self-deprecatingly: "I actually took these paintings as birthday presents...for you."

"It's mine, this painting is mine." Shi Yinan held his hand, "I also like all the paintings you gave me."

Bai Yichen asked him: "Even if the person who drew is not you, do you not mind?"

"I don't mind." Shi Yinan said, "I know the person you want to draw is me."

Bai Yichen was slightly stunned, lowered his eyes and said slowly: "When... did you find out?"

Shi Yinan didn't dare to hide it from him this time, and told the whole truth from beginning to end: "I know it's been a while, I followed you, I know you went to see a doctor in the psychological consultation room in Xia Tian, ​​and I know...you don't You know me too well."

"Not sure?" Bai Yichen felt that the word Shi Yinan used was really gentle, but the fact was that he didn't recognize Shi Yinan at all.

"Do you still remember that one day when you came out of the counseling room, you met a person in a gray baseball uniform?" Shi Yinan told him, "That person...is me."

"Yes, I remember, you still talked to me." Bai Yichen trembled, and the smile on his lips became even more bitter, "I was still thinking at that time, this person is like you when you were young, no Think... that person is you."

When Shi Yinan heard Bai Yichen's soft voice, he was also a little choked up, he held Bai Yichen's hand even tighter, and said to him: "It's okay, if you like me like that, I can dress like that every day I can stay with you for as long as you want..."

"I like you like that..." Bai Yichen murmured these words softly, as if waking up someone in a dream, he smiled, "So I don't love you anymore? What I love is just memories In the middle, you were still very young at that time."

As Bai Yichen said, the painting in his hand slowly fell down, rolled to the ground and unfolded. The painting was indeed Shi Yinan—the young Shi Yinan in a white shirt.

"Shi Yinan." For the first time since the reunion, Bai Yichen called Shi Yinan by his first and last name.

And when Shi Yinan heard his voice, his whole body trembled violently, never wishing that he was a person who could not hear the voice like now, so that he could not hear Bai Yichen's last sentence.

Bai Yichen said, "Let's break up."

Shi Yinan froze in place, maintaining a half-kneeling posture, he and Bai Yichen still wore their engagement rings on the hands they were clasping, but what they were talking about now was their separation.

And Shi Yinan knew that Bai Yichen was serious this time.

"Why..." Shi Yinan asked him tremblingly, "Can't we be together?"

"We want to be together, how do we want to be together?" Bai Yichen leaned back very tiredly, and asked him softly, "You will not feel happy anymore if you continue to be together with me, I will only hurt you, don't stop with me."

"I'm not unhappy, you hurt me just because you're sick, you didn't mean it, I know...you didn't mean it..."

"I did it on purpose." Bai Yichen told him, continuing to speak slowly, "I thought I could only draw you, but I could also draw other people; I thought I couldn't recognize you anymore , but I... can still tell who you are."

Shi Yinan said: "You can recognize me... Isn't that great?"

"Not good." Bai Yichen turned his head, looked at Shi Yinan quietly, and raised his hand to gently caress his face, "When Shi Yiming kissed me, I knew it wasn't you, his kiss was too sweet." Jerky, unskilled, without a trace of you, but I didn't avoid it."

Shi Yinan was stunned for a moment, staring blankly into Bai Yichen's eyes, and heard him say in a gentle voice: "Because he is like you who kissed me for the first time."

"I thought I still love you, but it turns out, I don't love you anymore."

Shi Yinan was stunned for a few seconds, then slowly laughed, but he also cried, crying and laughing, tears pouring down like springs, tears streaming down his face, he could barely speak, he rested his head on Bai Yichen's On the lap, he said in a hoarse voice: "But I love you...I love you, I still love you...It's okay, I really don't care about those, it's all my punishment, because I did something wrong for you , you can punish me, whatever you do...we can still be together..."

Bai Yichen's expression also looked very sad, his brows were furrowed, his cool fingers ran through Shi Yinan's hair: "I don't..."

"Didn't you say... that we will only break up once?" Shi Yinan didn't want to hear him say that, so he raised his head suddenly, took out what Bai Yichen had said, and tried to make a final struggle, " We've broken up once, and there won't be a second time."

"Yes, we broke up once, and I proposed to break up." Bai Yichen nodded and said, "But the previous time was not considered a breakup at all. I didn't agree. I have been waiting for you to come back. I am very happy that you are back."

"But for breaking up, it's better for both parties to agree?"

Bai Yichen asked him: "Shi Yinan, are you willing to break up with me?"

Shi Yinan couldn't say any more words to stay or beg, he stared at Bai Yichen in a daze, looked at the sad and gentle expression on the young man's face, and suddenly stopped all tears.

They are clearly in love.

This is something he once firmly believed in, just like Bai Yichen once firmly believed that they were in love.

But he broke up in the end, so now Bai Yichen also broke up. All this is just the reincarnation of fate, and it is the punishment he is destined to accept for the mistakes he made.

And Bai Yichen was so gentle that he even gave him a chance to say goodbye.

When he left at the beginning, he didn't make a sound, letting all the sadness and despair, like a collapsed building, drown Bai Yichen overnight with tears and pain.

Now, he has finally tasted that pain, it is bitter and astringent, probably the worst thing in the world to drink.

"I……"

Shi Yinan trembled his lips, listening to his uncontrollable body mechanically say that sentence: "I am willing..."

After saying this, Shi Yinan felt a sense of emptiness that even his soul was torn away from his body. The charcoal fire in the fireplace was still burning, making occasional beeping sounds, igniting a warm feeling on this cool rainy night , and the chandelier above his head poured down warm yellow light, covering his whole body in it, everything around him was so warm, but Shi Yinan couldn't feel any warmth, as if even the blood in his body was cooling down , almost freezing him to death this night.

Bai Yichen looked at his distressed and hopeless appearance, gently held his face, kissed his forehead, and murmured: "Don't be sad, I really loved you."

"Actually, I have always wanted to tell you that whether it was the day you handed me a bottle of water during military training or the day you lent me an umbrella when we met on the bus, I was very happy. I hope to live happily with you forever... You are the person I love the most in my life. But before I could say it, you left. "

"I get so drunk every night that I want to fall asleep and dream that you will come back and continue to be with me."

"Many people are persuading me not to love you anymore. I also know that I should love someone again, but I feel that if the person I love is not you, then all this will be meaningless."

"I don't have time to tell you these things, but I still want to tell you once." Bai Yichen pressed his forehead against Shi Yinan's and said slowly, "There is no one in this world who will love you more than me. Like I said, I've only ever loved you, and I'll never love anyone else, but I won't love you either."

"I love you too... I will love you forever, even though..." Shi Yinan paused, then continued to speak with difficulty, his voice became extremely hoarse because of grief, every sentence he said was very painful, but very firm, "Even if we break up and never be together...I still love you."

Bai Yichen didn't speak any more, closed his eyes, hugged Shi Yinan and kissed him one last time.

They kissed for a long time, but it was just lips to lips. This kiss was not sweet at all, and all they could taste were each other's bitter tears.

"Goodbye." Bai Yichen said.

Shi Yinan was crying, he pulled his lips and laughed, even though the smile was ugly, he still smiled, just like the three words Bai Yichen said were "I love you", and he did as always, Respond to Bai Yichen as before: "I love you too."

Bai Yichen left a painting in the end, but he didn't keep it for himself, but gave it to Shi Yinan.

After Shi Yinan moved to Nancheng, he lived in Bai Yichen's villa, and this villa was full of his shadow, but what he really brought with him were some commonly used daily necessities, and Just a few sets of clothes.

There are two suitcases of luggage when you come here, and two suitcases when you leave.

Bai Yichen sent him to the gate of the villa. The rain outside hadn't stopped, so Bai Yichen went into the house and found him an umbrella. It was the blue and white lattice umbrella.

Shi Yinan opened the umbrella and looked at the brand new ribs, then smiled blankly and said, "This is really not the umbrella I gave you."

"It's the umbrella I gave you now." Bai Yichen stepped forward and folded the windbreaker for him, "It's cold at night, find a place to rest early."

Shi Yinan picked up his luggage and said goodbye to him: "Okay, good night."

Bai Yichen also waved to him: "Good night."