his substitute

People always say that wine can wash away grievances. If you can sit down calmly and change glasses, even if there are still knots in your heart that cannot be untied, you can look forward to the future.

There is no wine in the bookstore, only coffee that is bitterer than wine, and tea that is sweeter than wine.

After a shift change, Chi Yu was standing at the bar, fiddling with a bunch of precious tools for the barista. Before he could change out of his work clothes, the half-bright light came down, hiding his face in the shadows, but illuminating his arms. extremely clear.

Under the light, those arms were too white, and the veins on the inside emerged neatly with every small movement of his.

Xun Musheng leaned on the sofa not far from the bar, his eyes lingered on Chi Yu's arms, fascinated by greed.

So much so that Chi Yu raised his head and called twice before he woke up like a dream.

Chi Yu wore an apron with the bookstore logo on it, her eyes were as deep as stars, "Do you like more sugar or less?"

Xun Musheng quickly sat up straight, a little embarrassed and a little ridiculous: "It's fine, I can drink both sweet and bitter."

As long as you do it.

Chi Yu's gaze rested on his face for a moment, then she lowered her eyelids, "Okay."

At night, the bookstore is much busier than during the day, and there are only a few vacant seats left in the beverage consumption area, and the coffee made by Chi Yu is only for employee benefits, not included in the turnover.The barista smiled: "That is your friend? Use a bigger cup for him. The normal cup is too small."

"No need." Chi Yu was pulling the flowers, and his hands shook when he heard this, and a panda was drawn as a pig.

The barista laughed, "You also miss the time?"

Chi Yu sighed.This cup was made for Xun Musheng, using the cups of the guests, and the other cup was made for himself, using his own water cup.The panda has become a pig. His first thought was to keep this cup for himself, and focus on the other cup to draw a good panda. He was about to take another cup when he realized that it was absolutely impossible.

"The photographer brother who comes here often is also your friend." The barista gossiped a lot, and couldn't stop talking, "Why don't you see him pull a flower for him?"

Chi Yu wanted to pour out Xun Musheng's cup and make a new one, but couldn't stand the barista's broken mouth, and hurriedly put two cups of coffee on the tray, leaving the noisy barista behind.

Seeing Chi Yu approaching, Xun Musheng got up to pick him up, but Chi Yu raised his chin and signaled him to change places.

The location is very remote, connected to the staff rest room, and there are almost no customers to sit there.

"Sorry, there are too many people at night." Chi Yu said and put the coffee with a pig drawing in front of Xun Musheng, "Try it, if it tastes bitter, I'll go get some sugar and milk."

Xun Musheng looked at the pig's head with the bun on it, and couldn't laugh or cry for a while, but his heart became softer.

He was also happy when Chi Yu drew a pig to scold him.

If you are too happy, it is easy to make progress.

The style of the coffee cups in the bookstore is not uniform, and they follow the simple and handmade route. The water cups distributed to employees are also included in this batch of coffee cups, but they are not usually placed with the cups used by customers, and everyone recognizes their own cups.

But Xun Musheng was new here, so he couldn't tell that one of the two cups belonged to the owner and the other was shared.

He looked again at the pig's head in the cup, then at the panda in Chi Yu's cup, and said, "I want pandas too."

Chi Yu was embarrassed, and there was a problem with explaining or not explaining, so she got up suddenly in a hurry, "I added less sugar just now, it may be more bitter, I'll go get some sugar."

When the sugar came back, the two cups had been swapped.

Xun Musheng drank the panda and looked up at him gravely, as if a little nervous: "I changed the cup on my own initiative, you..."

"It's okay!" Chi Yu's ear tips turned red, but fortunately, the lighting here was dim, so there was no change in her complexion, "The two cups have the same amount of sugar, but the animals on them are different."

Xun Musheng pursed his lips, a smile flickered at the end of his eyes.

After that day, Xun Musheng often came to the bookstore to ask for a cup of coffee or scented tea, watching Chi Yu busy in front of the bookshelf.When Chi Yu got off work, he would find a restaurant for dinner. If it was still early, he would go for a walk, and finally say goodbye at the gate of Yuanfei Community.

After autumn, the weather became cold very quickly. Xun Musheng removed the plaster cast with his right hand, but he was still very weak. He kept shaking when holding the coffee spoon, and once directly poked the cake on the table.

Chi Yu saw it, and shared with him his recovery experience. After thinking for a while, he said, "I ate lightly a while ago, why don't we have barbecue today to celebrate."

Xun Musheng couldn't get what he wanted.

The oil on the iron plate sizzled, and Chi Yu took care of Xun Musheng as a sick person, so he didn't let him do it. He did the roasting and cutting, and Xun Musheng only used his own cabbage.

He carefully handed the first wrapped meat roll to Chi Yu.He didn't dare to put it directly near Chi Yu's mouth, but just put it on the dinner plate in Chi Yu's hand.

"Try it."

Chi Yu was startled, feeling amused.

He was obviously the one who found this shop, and the meat was grilled and cut by him. Xun Musheng just wrapped the meat with a vegetable leaf and put ingredients in the vegetable leaf. He acted like a master and told him to "try taste".

Xun Musheng also knew that his behavior was ridiculous, and he should do the whole thing if he wanted to be courteous, but his right hand was not strong enough, and it was very difficult to hold the tongs used for barbecue.

And Chi Yu didn't seem to have any intention of letting him do it.

Chi Yu picked up the rolled meat, tasted it and said, "It's delicious."

I don't even know who it is.

Day by day, Xun Musheng began to treat Chi Yu even more after he recovered from his injury, picking Chi Yu up from get off work almost every day.Chi Yu didn't deliberately refuse, and accepted his kindness naturally.

After a year, the relationship between the two seems to be back to last year.

No one mentions those unhappy things, as if as long as they don't speak out, they can still live in peace.

And it is better to have someone who cares by your side than to be alone.

Chi Yu never went to Ke Jin's studio again, and Ke Jin never contacted him again.

He felt guilty, but thought that "rejection" was the best response.

His emotions were in a mess, and he was probably destined to be confused with Xun Musheng.It is enough for the two to toss each other, and it is not right to drag an irrelevant person in.

In late autumn, KIME, who hadn't seen him for a long time, suddenly appeared in the bookstore.Chi Yu was a little surprised, but also a little embarrassed.

"I'll wait for you to get off work." KIME said.

On this day, Xun Musheng had an important meeting to hold, so he asked Chi Yu for leave early in the morning.Chi Yu followed KIME to a familiar tea shop, and when the pudding milk tea in a square glass bottle was served, he remembered that this was the place where Ke Jin took pictures of himself last year.

"He's gone to Japan." Compared to the last time we met, KIME looked haggard, and her makeup didn't seem as refined as before.

"He's very sad, he's been depressed for a while, and he just picked himself up recently." KIME's brows were filled with anger, "He likes you so much and treats you so well, why don't you even give him a chance?"

Chi Yu was silent for a moment, "Sorry."

"You also said 'sorry' to him, right?" KIME smiled wryly, "Why? What's wrong with him? Even if you don't like him, you don't hate him, do you? Can't you try it?"

Looking at the pudding milk tea, Chi Yu recalled that last year was also this season. In order to take a satisfactory photo, Ke Jin asked the boss to serve no less than ten milk teas, and tossed a group of people into the night.

In the last photo, he looked towards the door, his sleepy affection suddenly lit up with joy.

According to Ke Jin's arrangement, the person he had been waiting for for a long time should be standing at the door.

And it was Xun Musheng who opened the door wrapped in night wind.

He sighed secretly, his mind still thought of Xun Musheng under such circumstances.

"I told Ke Jin that I don't have him in my heart." Chi Yu said calmly but seriously: "Since I don't, I can't rely on his 'like' to deceive his feelings. I'm sorry for hurting him, But I don't think it's good for him to procrastinate..."

"Why? If you have someone in your heart, can't you cultivate it?" KIME interrupted, "Why are you willing to give Xun Musheng a chance and not give him a chance? How is he not as good as Xun Musheng to you?"

Chi Yu's eyes flashed, she was dumb for a moment, and it took a long time before she could say: "It's different."

KIME shook his head and raised his voice, "Same! They all like you!"

Chi Yu opened his mouth slightly, the light in his eyes flickered, and suddenly changed the topic after a while: "Since you love him to the bone, why didn't you tell him, why did you push him to others?"

As if under a spell, KIME's eyes widened, staring straight at Chi Yu, motionless, unable to utter a single syllable.

Chi Yu stood up, paid the bill, pushed open the door of the tea shop seemingly calmly, but fled in despair.

At night, Xun Musheng called. The low voice was full of tiredness, but he could hear a bit of happiness.

Chi Yu smiled, and after chatting for a few words, they said good night to each other, and agreed to see you at the bookstore tomorrow.

Xun Musheng also ordered a meal with him, and wanted to drink coffee with two little people painted on it.

These days Xun Musheng always seemed to be very happy, but compared to last year, he seemed more cautious in this joy.

Chi Yu turned over on the bed, remembering the conversation with KIME not long ago, and felt depressed again.

In the case of Ke Jin, he was sure that he did nothing wrong.If you let Ke Jin stick to it, or "cultivate a person in your heart" as KIME said, it will only produce bad results in the end, which is not good for anyone.

But he couldn't apply the same determination to Xun Musheng.

It seemed that no matter what, once he had contact with Xun Musheng, he couldn't think clearly.

He couldn't refuse, and even subconsciously yearned for Xun Musheng's company.

But it is difficult to enjoy this company frankly and with peace of mind.

The longer we spend together and the closer we act, the heavier the uneasiness that weighs on our hearts.

Apparently, Xun Musheng was also restrained by some kind of concern—Chi Yu could feel it, and even occasionally felt that the two of them were a slow suicide when they were together, and only one person would be left in the end.

But before that, he wanted to pretend he didn't know anything.

He buried his face in the pillow and let out a deep breath.

The best solution is to allow time to heal any conflicts and struggles.How long will it take?One year, ten years, or a lifetime?no one knows.

Chi Yu thought, he probably got into a dead end.

At the end of the year, the bookstore left a barista, Chi Yu was transferred there, and his salary doubled.Although his income has decreased a lot since he stopped working as a model, he has savings, and his daily expenses are not much, so his life is not too tight.

Xun Musheng still came to pick him up from get off work every day. He had thought about taking him to his home, and was worried that he would refuse. After all, it had been less than a year since the incident happened, and the scars were not so easy to disappear without a trace.

Ignore the warning to myself - don't be impatient, take your time, Chi Yu needs time to come out, just be patient with her.

What he did wrong, he made up for one by one.

He is willing to spend his whole life chasing the ones he missed.

To him, Wen Yun had become a faded memory, and Chi Yu was someone he was determined never to let go of.

After the car accident, he thought about it thoroughly, and even substituted himself in Chi Yu, trying to understand Chi Yu's feelings for Wen Yun.There is no doubt that Chi Yu's obsession with Wen Yun is deeper than his obsession with Wen Yun.

He can gradually let go of Wen Yun, but Chi Yu is not sure.

This realization made him unavoidably jealous, and felt helpless towards himself who was jealous of Wen Yun.

He couldn't think of a reasonable way to let Chi Yu leave Wen Yun and walk towards him. The only thing he could do was ridiculously stalking.

When he tried to approach for the first time, Chi Yu didn't push him away, and he seemed to suddenly have infinite courage, taking a small step closer every day.

One day, Chi Yu will be able to let go of his defenses.

It's snowing in Zhongcheng, and Xun Musheng is going on a business trip and will be away for a week.Chi Yu took a break with others and sent him to the airport.

With plenty of time, he wrapped his arms around Chi Yu's waist, wanting to beg for a kiss, but couldn't open it.

They have done the most intimate things, and they have often been together in the past few months, but they haven't done such a thing as kissing for a long time.

Xun Musheng wanted to kiss Chi Yu countless times, but he couldn't help it. This time, he couldn't help but approached Chi Yu's lips uncontrollably.

Chi Yu dodged back, he immediately came to his senses and understood that he should let go of Chi Yu, but he was extremely reluctant.

So the two maintained this weird posture of kissing but not kissing, and no one noticed the eyes of the passengers around them.

Two seconds later, Chi Yu closed her eyes.

gesture of acquiescence.

Xun Musheng was taken aback, and immediately kissed her, extremely gentle and careful.

Chi Yu's heart was almost boiling, but a voice asked coldly——

Do you always want to be like this?She acquiesced in his approach, acquiesced in his kiss, what else would she acquiesce to in the future?Can you give each other a clear answer like you did when you faced Ke Jin?

A week later, Xun Musheng returned to Zhongcheng and called Chi Yu, but no one answered. He went to the bookstore to wait, but was told by the foreman——We don't know why Wen Yun didn't come. The day before yesterday was fine, but yesterday he suddenly didn't come I don't know what happened.

Xun Musheng stood up in shock, a terrifying feeling of coldness to the bone and blood hit his heart like a tsunami.