when you look at me

Yuan Yiping and Chen Shuo took the train from Weihai to Jinan, and there was a high-speed train from Jinan to Yongzhou.

The scenery along the way gradually changed. They went from the endless plains to the undulating mountains. Although it was almost early winter, after the high-speed train entered Hubei, the vegetation outside the car window was green and green.

After more than ten hours, the high-speed train entered Yongzhou Station.

Wang Yuan was already waiting for them outside the station. It was already past six o'clock in the evening, it was getting dark early, and there were a few faint stars in the night sky.Wang Yuan contacted a taxi and took the three of them directly from the train station to Shuangpai County.

Yuan Yiping checked in advance on the high-speed rail that Shuangpai County, Yongzhou City has rolling mountains and several rivers in the territory, which belong to the Xiangjiang River system.The taxi finally stopped at an intersection, the driver said something in a dialect that Yuan Yiping could not understand, Wang Yuan nodded and paid.

This place should be very remote, the sound of the river can be heard not far away, but the street lights are dim, and the surroundings are dark, and only one or two lights in the distance can be faintly seen.

Yuan Yiping smelled the fresh smell of vegetation, and when he looked up, he suddenly saw the sky full of stars.

He had never seen so many stars.

"Let's go," Wang Yuan, who was silent all the way, said, "You stay at my house tonight, and hold his funeral ceremony tomorrow."

After entering the village, there were no street lights, or maybe the street lights had already been turned off at this time. Yuan Yiping and Chen Shuo used their mobile phones to illuminate them, and followed Wang Yuan into the village.

It was extremely quiet all around, except for the occasional chirping of birds from the fields on both sides of the road.Yuan Yiping asked Wang Yuan softly: "How are you and Song Ran?" Until now he still feels that Wang Yuan is too deep in the city, and Song Ran loves him wholeheartedly, so he doesn't know if there will be a good result.

Wang Yuan's tone was quite gentle: "We are getting married on New Year's Day this year. If you are in Shenzhen at that time, you are welcome to attend the wedding."

"New Year's Day?" Yuan Yiping replied, "Okay."

The date has been set, and it seems that they are really going to get married.Yuan Yiping knew that Wang Yuan was a straight man, so even though he had an insight into Tang Qingyu's feelings, he didn't reveal it. Wang Yuan must also understand that if he revealed it, he and Tang Qingyu wouldn't even be friends.So what is the kiss that Wang Yuan landed on Tang Qingyu's posthumous photo?In the past, Yuan Yiping would probably think that Wang Yuan was hypocritical or sentimental, but now he is no longer so stubborn. Emotions are too complicated and subtle. Tang Qingyu has liked Wang Yuan for so many years, even if Wang Yuan has no lover for him The feelings between them, but there are also somewhat different feelings.Wang Yuan could not respond to Tang Qingyu, nor could he give back to Tang Qingyu. Their fate in this life ended here and ended too early, so thousands of words could not be uttered, and Wang Yuan could only give a subtle kiss when saying goodbye.

It is doomed in the dark that people owe each other.

Yuan Yiping knew that Chen Shuo always felt that he was ashamed of Yuan Yizhi. When he fell in love with Yuan Yizhi, he already had strange feelings for Yuan Yiping. After Yuan Yizhi passed away, he couldn't help but kiss Yuan Yiping, and now he violated A promise to Yuan Yizhi.Yuan Yiping once hated Chen Shuo because of Chen Shuo's love, but now he realizes with relief that not all emotions in this world can be sorted out and sequenced, let alone controlled rationally.How complicated and powerless people are, it is not easy to keep the truth of the heart.

Yesterday in Weihai, Chen Shuo didn't say anything, but gently pushed Yuan Yiping away.

Early the next morning, the funeral ceremony began.

Two little boys who looked about seven or eight years old were dressed in sackcloth and filial piety, one was holding Tang Qingyu's urn, and the other was holding Tang Qingyu's portrait.Another dozen or so people stood in two teams, dressed in white linen, the young ones were five or sixty years old, and the old ones were walking with crutches.They were relatives of Tang Qingyu's family, all sobbing loudly or hoarsely.At the front of the line, a middle-aged man dressed in black sang in a long voice. Yuan Yiping couldn't understand the local dialect, but he could hear the melody was very sad.

Wang Yuan and Yuan Yiping and Chen Shuo walked together and followed at the end of the team. He was not Tang Qingyu's relative, so he didn't wear white hemp.

A group of people cried and sang, walked through the dense forest, and after about half an hour, they arrived at the mountain where the cemetery was located.This mountain is not high, but the cold air in the morning is cold and wet. The south side of the hillside is full of large and small graves.

The leading man's tone changed and became utterly miserable.

At this time, there was some wind, and the morning sun emerged from behind the low clouds, and the warm sunlight fell on Yuan Yiping.Under the sun, the black soil was rising one after another, and mourning was everywhere.Tang Qingyu's ashes were buried in the ground.

After the ceremony, Wang Yuan took Yuan Yiping and Chen Shuo for a walk around the village.He was wearing a neat black overcoat, standing by the emerald green river, somewhat out of place.Yuan Yiping thought, if Tang Qingyu was standing here, it would not violate peace.

There was no expression on Wang Yuan's face, nor did he cry. He just pointed to the river bank: "Tang Qingyu and I always played here when we were young. Now this season, the water volume is small, and the water is good for fishing in summer." After he finished speaking, Staring at the river under his feet, he didn't know what he was thinking.

The weather was exceptionally fine, a strong wind just now dispersed the clouds, the sun was abundant, the sky was blue, and there was a fragrance of plants in the air.

Chen Shuo suddenly said, "He is probably quite satisfied to be able to come back here. He told me a long time ago that he wanted to go home."

Wang Yuan looked at Chen Shuo, then turned around to look at the mountain where Tang Qingyu was buried not far away, and said softly, "I am standing by this river, and I always feel that he is still there, and time seems to go back."

After leaving Shuangpai County, Wang Yuan returned to Shenzhen. Yuan Yiping and Chen Shuo were not in a hurry to leave and stayed in Yongzhou.Returning from the quiet mountains to the crowded city, Yuan Yiping suddenly realized that Tang Qingyu was gone, his relatives buried him, Tang Qingyu was gone no matter in the physical or social sense.

He will never see such beautiful mountains, rivers, sky and scenery, let alone his beloved Wang Yuan.

Yuan Yiping felt panicked, there is no turning back after death, death is death.It's good to be alive.

One day in the future, both he and Chen Shuo will die. It is unknown who will die first, or how. Maybe it will be a sudden farewell, or maybe it will be a slow departure.Yuan Yizhi passed away, Tang Qingyu passed away—love cannot reverse death, and companionship cannot reverse death.Tangshan Earthquake, Wenchuan Earthquake, Motor Vehicle Accident, Cancer—There is no miracle in front of death.

And Chen Shuo, who is by his side at this moment, will become his concern and fetter. He suffers for him, is happy for him, and is more afraid of death and parting for him.If you love someone, you are bound to suffer.

But he still wants to love him, and still wants to be with him, even if it means waiting for death to come together, and being slaughtered by fate together.For him, he is willing to bear the shackles of fear.Because when he looked at him, the bottomless mystery of fate suddenly became thinner.He is afraid, he is cowardly, but he wants to love.

"Chen Shuo," Yuan Yiping grabbed Chen Shuo's hand and asked solemnly and firmly, "Would you like to be with me?"

Chen Shuo: "I have made many mistakes."

Yuan Yiping: "I also made many mistakes."

Chen Shuo: "We are together, and you have to face many, many problems."

Yuan Yiping: "With you, I can even face death."

Chen Shuo looked at Yuan Yiping, and after a long time, he held Yuan Yiping's hand back.

"Then we'll be together."

From now on, there is only death and separation, not birth and separation.

The author has something to say

1. The text is over. 2. "There is only death, there is no birth" is translated into Qian Zhongshu's sentence. 3. There will be extra drops from tomorrow. 4. Thank you for your company.