underground river

Three months later.

It was very quiet in the ward, but this quietness was man-made, so it was oppressive and stuffy.

The young man knelt beside the hospital bed silently. The person on the bed had turned into a real corpse without knowing it.

The doctor recorded the time of death, temporarily jumped out from behind the calm and self-sufficient glasses, stepped forward and patted the young man on the shoulder with concern, and then dispersed the rest of the people in the ward.

"Let the family members bid farewell to the deceased, let's go out first," the doctor said.

The word "farewell" made the boy kneeling on the ground tremble.

He looked at the corpse on the hospital bed.

Blank, blank, blank, lingering blank, all blank, all blank...

Chen Sen didn't dare to look at his mother's face, his eyes stayed on the woman's drooping hands.

Half an hour ago, this hand was still holding him firmly.

Chen Sen raised his hand and touched it. The hand was like a fake hand sold in a toy store. It was limp, and it didn't respond to how he fiddled with it.

There was a sudden knock on the door behind him.

Chen Sen turned his head, the door was opened too hard and hit the wall, then bounced back and hit the person who came.

"Chen Sen..." Si Nan took two steps forward as if he didn't feel anything, and stopped again.

Li Ziwen ran over one step later, held on to the door frame and just took a few breaths, when he looked up at the room, the sound of panting suddenly stopped.

Si Nan didn't move, and Li Ziwen didn't dare to move either.

Chen Sen suddenly smiled, but the smile seemed too tragic at the moment, and Li Ziwen didn't dare to show it.

Si Nan stepped forward quickly, bent his knees, knelt down, and raised his arms to hug him tightly.Chen Sen rested his chin on his shoulder, and his whole body began to tremble. His hands were desperately on his back. If his fingertips had blades, they would have sunk deeply into Sinan's flesh.However, he just grabbed at it indiscriminately, bewildered and asking Sinan to hold him tighter and tighter.

Li Ziwen couldn't bear to watch any more, and quietly left the room.

The sound of closing the door was soft, but Chen Sen froze as if frightened, and then pushed Sinan away abruptly.

Si Nan was still in an embraced position with his hands, he was a little confused by his push: "Chen Sen?"

Chen Sen dodged his eyes, stood up in a hurry, clasped his hands together anxiously, and squeezed vigorously, his smile was pale: "I, I'll make a call." After speaking, he quickly left the ward.

Si Nan stood up slowly, feeling a bad premonition in his heart.

The funeral was held in Dongshi, Chen's hometown, and Guan Yan's parents did their best to manage it. Chen Sen knelt in front of the mourning hall for two days, and couldn't bear it the next night, and passed out.

Si Nan watched him alone in the room. Later, Chen Sen woke up and asked for water in a daze.Si Nan got up and poured a glass of water into the room, helped him to sit up and drank.

The light was not turned on in the room, and the light was a bit dim. Chen Sen turned over and got up from the bed, sat by the bed, and listened to the movement outside: "What time is it?"

Si Nan turned on the bedside lamp, and the wall clock in the room showed that it was nine o'clock at night.

The window facing the desk was not closed tightly, and a few voices came in faintly.

There is a custom of funeral banquet in Dongshi, which usually lasts for three days, and today is only the second day.At this moment, the people were almost dispersed, Chen Sen listened for a while, and heard that Guan Yan's parents were talking with some neighbors downstairs, occasionally mixed with a few sighs.

Chen Sen seemed to be fascinated by what he heard, and sat motionless on the edge of the bed, digging at the sheets with his fingers, his eyes were cold, and he didn't know what he was thinking.

The door creaked softly, and a bowl of hot porridge was handed to him.

Si Nan ran in a hurry, his chest was still heaving.

Chen Sen was suffocated by the heat, blinked his eyes as if they were burning, and looked up at Sinan.

"Eat something." Sinan said.

Chen Sen nodded, took the bowl and spoon, and ate it carefully.

"anything else?"

Chen Sen nodded.

He ate three bowls in a row, and was stopped by Si Nan when he wanted a fourth bowl.

"Enough is enough. It will be uncomfortable to eat again. If you are really hungry, take a break and eat again. You can't eat too much at one time."

Chen Sen was holding the empty bowl, and the spoon made of white porcelain tapped the wall of the bowl lightly, making a crisp sound.

Si Nan faintly felt that he had something to say, his heart beat faster unconsciously, and the flesh and blood all over his body tensed up, and a chill swept over his body, as if he sensed that the enemy's sword was approaching him.

Finally, after a long silence, Chen Sen put the bowl aside, didn't look at him, and said in a low voice: "Let's forget it."

……

"What...forget it..."

Chen Sen's Adam's apple rolled, his right hand clasped on the edge of the bed, and he moved nervously.

"It's just the two of us, forget it."

"Why?" Sinan asked in a daze.

Chen Sen looked up at him, his chest was dented as if someone had punched him, and he arched his back slightly.

"I don't want to talk about it anymore." Chen Sen's tone was flat, "I messed up everything, and I even killed my mother..."

His eyes were full of despair, but his expression was almost indifferent.

Sinan suddenly became anxious: "I know you are sad now, we are, we did something wrong, no, I did not do well enough, I didn't hide it well, so Auntie noticed and made her angry," Sinan Speechless, "Chen Sen, I was wrong, I apologize, I redeem, but you can't, you can't give up our relationship so easily, you can't give up on me so easily..."

"Why can't I?" Chen Sen asked lightly.

All of Sinan's expressions and movements froze at this moment.

Chen Sen raised his hand and pulled down his slightly stiff arm, touched his palm as usual, and then let go.

"Sinan, you're right, there's no need to apologize, I was wrong, and it's me who should make amends. I don't have the courage to love you anymore, and neither do you. Stop loving me."

You also……

don't love me...

"No-possible!" Sinan almost yelled these three words through gritted teeth.

His eyes were red, his limbs and bones were filled with the pain of "breaking up", and he was so painful that he almost wanted to cry.There seemed to be a big hole in the thin chest, all the warmth and all the emotions were rapidly draining away, but he persisted, struggling desperately, trying to repair it with his blood.

pity--

"That's all I've said, let's get together and get away."

As soon as the four golden characters haojuhaosan came out, his blood turned into dog blood. The sword had no eyes, and the people were ruthless. They rushed forward and stabbed him right through.

Sinan's heart was rotten, and his whole body seemed to be leaking, whistling, without center of gravity, without weight, as if he would faint in the next moment.

Realizing that he would feel sad even if he just stayed by his side, Sinan had to accept the reality in front of him.

The reality is that everything is irreversible after all, and there is no way to recover.

As soon as Si Nan left, Chen Sen's cold iron armor shattered. He wanted to get up and go to the window to have a look, but there seemed to be a root growing under his buttocks, and he couldn't pull it out. He was holding on to the edge of the bed .

Guan Yan ran up the stairs bawling and groaning, in such a hurry that he couldn't stop and hit the door panel with a "bang", rubbing his teeth in pain: "Hey, why did Sinan leave? I asked him Ignore me, did you two quarrel?"

Guan Yan rubbed his arms and waited for a while, but did not hear a reply, "Why do you..." Before he finished speaking, he saw the face of the person in front of him, well, it was even paler than the one just downstairs, and the rest of the words came to him. They all automatically swallowed back into the stomach.

Chen Sen seemed to be extremely tired, his eyes flickered past the white porcelain bowl by the bed, turned over and lay back on the bed.

Guan Yan stood there for a while, sighing and didn't know what else to say, so he put the bowl on, turned off the bedside lamp and backed out.

"You are choosing a crooked way that deviates from the public and Gangchang. Mom doesn't want to see the day when you are abandoned by society and ridiculed by everyone! Do you understand?"

"Son, believe it or not, everything in this world is destined? The matter between you and that child will not work out. One day, you will get back on track, Mom promises."

"Tell Mom, do you regret it?"

Regret it? Regret it? Regret it——

Chen Sen sat up from the bed suddenly, his head covered in cold sweat, his eyes widened and he stared straight ahead, his hand holding the bed sheet was still trembling slightly.

Sitting there in a daze for a long time, he rolled over and got out of bed as if he had just woken up from a dream, and went to the living room to pour a glass of water.

The curtains in the living room were not drawn, and the moonlight shone in coldly and brightly, covering the floor with frosty white.

Holding the water glass, Chen Sen clenched his fingers tightly, his knuckles turning white.

He hadn't had such a realistic dream for a long time. In the dream, his mother was lying on the hospital bed, her face was pale and bloodless, even her lips were blue, she looked like a dying person.

And he held his mother's hand with a smile on his face.

Mother asked, do you regret it?

He replied, I never regret it.

The mother cried out and died, and the hand he had been holding tightly was suddenly completely cold, like ice, and woke him up.

This is the scene in a dream.

In fact, when his mother was dying, he did hold his mother's hand tightly and asked her what was her last wish?However, the mother just closed her eyes tightly, unwilling to look at him, and unwilling to speak, all because he really said the phrase "I don't regret it" just like in a dream.

If the ending is doomed, is there any point in struggling during the process?

This question, when his mother was about to die, he finally made a choice.

He can understand himself who is unwilling to compromise with death, but at the same time he cannot forgive such himself.

Total freedom requires detachment and indifference.

He couldn't let go of the blood and family relationship, even if he would be stumbled by the chaos, but he finally chose to bear it.

I make my choices, and at the same time bear my fair share of guilt and guilt.

It's just a pity for that person.

He originally thought that they were going to grow old forever.

Life didn't give Chen Sen extra time to mourn the spring and autumn, and he hurried back to school after the funeral.

Mr. Zhang from the Youth League Committee has already called him several times, telling him to rush back to take the final exam.

Because the attendance rate is not enough, he does not have the usual grades.The final exam was approaching, and Chen Sen spent every day in the library. Gradually, he felt a little bit like the ancients "I don't know the taste of meat in March".

There was still some money left for his mother's medical treatment. Chen Sen didn't go back to Fucheng during the holidays. Instead, he rented a room near the school, resumed his old job and started a cram school.

As Chen Sen's biggest debtor, Li Ziwen didn't care about his debts at all, so he simply invested in him, recruited the rest of the dormitory, and doubled the size of the cram school.

One month after the start of the new semester, Chen Sen went back to Fucheng once to see off Guan Yan.

Guan Yan played around until he was 20 years old. After his birthday, he seemed to have been sharpened by a file. After realizing it, he developed a heart to strive for strength, and resolutely chose to join the army and went to the army.

On the day of seeing off Guan Yan, Xu Xu and Lin Shu both came. Li Fan was pinned down in the laboratory by his instructor and couldn't make it through.

In more than a year, everyone has changed. Even if the heart has not changed, the youthful and immature face has faded away, and the eyebrows and corners of the eyes have begun to show more mature.

No one mentioned Simon.

But the moment Chen Sen saw them, he already thought of Si Nan.

He always felt that no matter how everyone, including himself, changed, Sinan seemed to have remained the same.To be more precise, it has not changed much in his memory. When he thinks of him, when he misses him, the first image that flashes in his mind is always that year on the bus, the boy covered his hat The scene of silent tears.

The older you get, the easier it is for people to forget the feelings of happiness, and every loss and pain is unforgettable.So I felt that life was exhausting and life was hard, and then I couldn't wait to turn around and admit the phrase "Sure enough, there is no easy word in the world of adults", as if as long as I admit this sentence, life will be easier.

"I'm only a fucking sophomore! I'm as busy as a dung beetle all day long, and the more things I do, the more annoying I get!"

"Don't mention it. I do research and write reports every day. Others don't even bother to take a look at the things I worked so hard on. My former classmates are probably blocking me." Xu Xu smiled wryly.

"I'm the hard worker, okay!" Lin Shu rolled his sleeves, and cursed indistinctly, "I'll fuck it! The counselor in our class is a fucking old pervert! Messed with girls in our class, I said he was sexually harassed and he threatened me to cancel my scholarship! What a fucking bastard!"

Guan Yan was so drunk that when he heard Lin Shu swearing at someone with a bottle of wine, he was about to get up to fight, but Lin Shu dragged him down dumbfounded, and beat him angrily.

"What are you doing for fun!"

Guan Yan muttered aggrievedly: "Isn't that someone bullying you? Why, I'm not allowed to take revenge!"

"What revenge are you taking? What revenge are you taking?" Lin Shu asked him with a smile, Guan Yan kept shrinking back until there was nowhere to shrink back, and sat down on the ground, stunned.

"Hahahahaha, I'll fuck it!" "Yanzi, can you be more cowardly?"

Lin Shu helped him up, patted his ashes again, and said earnestly, "You will be a soldier of the people from now on, calm down, and don't be indifferent."

Guan Yan honestly said "Oh".Thinking about it, I was still a little unwilling after all, so I leaned over tremblingly and asked, "Then can I continue to chase you after I return from serving as a soldier?"

Li Fan and Xu Xu endured a lot of hard work with a smile on their face. Guan Yan's face was flushed and his eyes were tightly closed, like a death row prisoner awaiting judgment.

However, Miss Lin said lightly, "Okay", and immediately changed the death sentence to death sentence with reprieve.

The games and calculations in Fengyue Field can only be regarded as fun.

Lin Shu was made to blush, and he reluctantly picked up the water glass to save face.As for Guan Yan, he finally tasted the sweetness of a dream come true, and was already so drunk that he didn't know where he was.

so good.

Chen Sen drank the wine in the glass, and the corners of his eyes were slightly moist.A huge tearing pain finally came to him belatedly, sweeping through his desolate and impoverished heart like a wreck, and finally forced him to bid farewell to his youth in a hurry.

33 Tianque, Lihentian is the highest.

The lights that were dim back then were turned off after all.

The author has something to say: There is a saying: 33 heavens, Lihentian is the highest. 440 disease, lovesickness is the most bitter.

Hmm... it's time to get lovesick.

Maybe it will be finished within [-] chapters... come and read to me

Promote the new article, interested friends, come and send it in advance!Collect and collect!

Lily's new article - "Nian Zhi"

The stingy Qiao Zhi is always followed by two little tails, one named Guo Qingshan and the other named Zhuang Qiushui.The former broke the bones and connected the tendons, and she could barely hold her nose and suffer.The latter met by chance, but was picked up by her relying on a face and Guo Qingshan's nagging.

Qiao Zhi has been living for more than 20 years. She thinks she is someone who hates cats and dogs, but she doesn't want to see a fire in the backyard one day. Xiaowei suddenly doesn't want to be a little tail. .

Qiao Zhi said coldly: "Zhuang Qiushui, are you crazy?"

The fair-faced girl just frowned and said, "I'm not crazy, Ah Zhi. After a hundred years, I want to fall in love with you."

Qiao childishly wanted to laugh, but suddenly coughed up five thunderbolts three miles long, pointed at Zhuang Qiushui tremblingly and said, "I think you want me to drive west immediately..."

———Small theater to post:

Qiao Zhi: Qiu Shui, take out today's trash.

Zhuang Qiushui: I don't.

Qiao Zhi: Huh?what is it today?Transgender?

Zhuang Qiushui: Who told you not to touch me last night!

Qiao Zhi:? ?Why don't I touch it?

Zhuang Qiushui: Chest!

Qiao Zhi: Damn it!It's not like you don't have that thing!

Zhuang Qiushui: Then let's make a deal.

Qiao Zhi: What?

Zhuang Qiushui: Let you touch mine, and let me touch yours.

Qiao Zhi: ... I'll touch your uncle's old bald head!

Zhuang Qiushui: ...do you like touching bald heads? ?How about I go shave my head?

Qiao Zhi: ……………………… Roll on!

CP: A stingy man x a sick and scheming woman

Eight, 90s entrepreneurial growth history, there are golden fingers.In addition, the full text is purely yy and cannot withstand any scrutiny, please let each other go

In the process of saving the manuscript, Kuoneng will open in September, welcome brothers to accept in advance, y'all!