underground river

On the eve of the college entrance examination, Chang Jian stood in the living room and talked eloquently like reading a school report. In the middle of the performance, he found that none of the two people sitting on the sofa were listening to him seriously, and suddenly felt helpless: "What I just said You didn't hear a word, did you?"

Si Zhen's expression was even more helpless than his: "Principal Chang, can we show a bit of the demeanor of the principal, you keep saying that..." She glanced at the person next to her, "Who is to blame for his nervousness in the exam tomorrow?"

After beating a snake for seven inches, Chang Jian was finally willing to sit down, and rubbed his hands on his trousers uneasily. He looked up and saw Si Nan sitting opposite him, with a deadpan expression on his face. "Are you not nervous at all?"

Si Nan shook his head, the really tense days were over for him.

It’s a bit funny to say, I have worked hard for a year, and even after studying for so many years, it seems that it is all for the exams in the next two days. The battle line is too long, especially in the third year of senior high school. In this numb state, to be honest, he couldn't quite understand the atmosphere of the college entrance examination.

But even so, Ye Siman still suffered from insomnia.

He lay on the bed tossing and turning, unable to fall asleep, and many images flashed through his mind like a silent movie, including the bed he was lying on at this time, which made him feel extremely sensitive—Sinan remembered that evening very clearly, remembered How he licked the lips of the man under him, how he got entangled with Chen Sen...

Touching the palm of his hand, it seems that there still remains the feeling of someone's back being scraped hard...

Can't think any more.

Si Nan turned over in embarrassment, his body arched.

The mobile phone placed on the bedside table suddenly vibrated twice, and he felt something in his heart. He quickly turned around and picked it up to see that it was a text message from Chen Sen:

—I guess you're still asleep.

Si Nan wanted to call back directly, but he caught sight of the electronic clock by the bed—it was already eleven o'clock.If this call comes through, it will take at least an hour, and it will be too late.

In the past, he and Chen Sen had been on the phone for at most half an hour. One was that they didn't like to make phone calls, and the other was that they would meet up immediately if they wanted to. It was better to talk face to face than to just listen.However, it was the torturous two-month long-distance relationship during the summer vacation of the second year of high school that caused both of them to develop a habit of being reluctant to hang up the phone first, and each time the question of who hung up the phone first could drag on for half an hour.

Si Nan sent him a text message back:

— I just fell asleep and you woke me up.

Chen Sen lay on the bed with his mobile phone and looked at it with a smile. It's not the right time for him to show his hospitality.

Before he could reply, Sinan sent another message:

-Why are you not sleeping yet?

—Worried that our sweetheart would not be able to sleep, and wanted to coax him to sleep.

In the hot summer, the air conditioner in the house was clearly turned on at over ten degrees, but Si Nan was sweating from the heat.

Teacher Chen's skills are profound, and someone curled up and bowed even harder.

- I'm asleep, good night.

Si Nan pressed send, jumped off the bed like a thief and ran into the bathroom.

A night without dreams.

The two-day exam was as fuzzy as a breeze. On the day when the college entrance examination results came out, Sinan was still calm. He performed normally, and with a little bit of shit luck, he just stepped on the score line and got a batch of undergraduates.

The two busy people at home were away, and Sinan reckoned that Chang Jian might know the score before him, so he didn't call him again, but sat there and was happy for a while, and then called Chen Sen A phone call passed.

"Hey, Brother Nan." Chen Sen's voice seemed to be quite happy, and Sinan felt relieved instantly, and asked straight to the point: "How are you? Is this year's champion stable?"

This is what the classmates in the class used to tease Chen Sen in the last few months before the college entrance examination, and they all felt that this year's provincial champion of liberal arts must be a sure thing.

Sure enough, Chen Sen smiled: "It must be steady."

"Really?!" Sinan stood up from his chair at once. Although it was the expected result, he was still a little surprised when he heard it.

"Really." Chen Sen kept his voice down, "I won't tell you now, Mr. Qiu urged me to go to the office to meet my father-in-law, and I'll go find you when it's over."

At first, Si Nan thought that he had misheard, but after hanging up the phone, he realized who the "father-in-law" was referring to, so he missed the opportunity in a daze, and was taken advantage of by Chen Sen in vain.

Sooner or later, everyone's results came out.

Xu Xu did well in the exam, so he might be able to enter Fu University and choose a major.Guan Yan was even more miserable, he was still far from the second batch of undergraduates, as his father said, he could go to a junior college.

Wearing the hat of the Provincial Champion, Chen Sen had a lot of fun on the Internet with another science champion in a neighboring city for a while, and became a "child of other people" who was picked out by parents from time to time in his long life. , and especially Chen Sen's most topical topic. After all, most of the top academics are not good looking. Even if they all wear glasses, the beasts in clothes are much more brilliant than the ordinary people.

In this way, after some joys and sorrows, it's time to fill in the application form.

Xu Xu applied for Fu University and Maritime University in neighboring provinces strictly according to his previous plan, while Guan Yan reluctantly applied for the local junior college after being sent to a mixed doubles match by life and his father.As for Chen Sen, although he hesitated because of Sinan, he finally chose D University.

To him, taking the D major is more like a belief planted by his mother early in his long study career - learn from your father.

As for what to study specifically, he once asked his mother when he was young, and his mother's answer was everything.

When the word "everything" was said, the stubbornness and firmness in his mother's eyes once made him feel a little scared, afraid that he could not do it, and afraid that he could do it.

Not without resistance.

It's just that the result of countless trials made Chen Sen finally realize the fact that his mother didn't care about it at all.She seems to believe that her son will surely embark on the same life trajectory as his father. She believes that he will succeed and become what she expects. As for the occasional deviation from the track during the process, those are irrelevant .

"You'll be all right." That's all Mother always said.

People want to find their true self throughout their life, but the ties of blood and family and the suppression of social reality often force you to breathe, and slowly you will experience a kind of tired loneliness.

Chen Sen even feels that sometimes what a mother represents is more like a kind of "public", and the most dangerous thing about fighting against the public alone is that if you are not determined, you will not be afraid of the war you waged. If you have full confidence and persistence, then you are very likely to be persuaded by the "public" and start to doubt yourself, am I actually wrong?

Coincidentally, he is also an extremely soft-hearted person, which doomed him to waver and suffer.

Chen Sen recalled the scene when Si Nan sat beside him in the bus and covered his face with a hat and wept silently. He never knew that a person's tears could be so powerful, and he almost felt a certain kind of pain and helplessness.He pitied this stranger whom he had met several times, just as he pitied himself occasionally in the dead of night.

It was Sinan who aroused the deepest emotion in his heart, a fragile emotion that could be called grievance.This emotion has been suppressed in his heart with self-esteem for decades, pretending to be calm and easy, but once it breaks ground, it is unstoppable.

Because of grievances, so unwilling, so unwilling, so not angry.

When Chen Sen reported to D University, he secretly made a "rebellious" decision.He thought that when he graduated from university, he would confess everything to his mother, that he didn't want to become a second father, that he was actually gay, and that he liked Sinan.

"Is it convenient for me to come in?" Chang Jian stuck out half of his head from behind the door.

"En." Sinan replied, probably because he knew what he was about to face, and his expression was a little uneasy.

After entering the room, Chang Jian's eyes fell on the computer screen unexpectedly, and he raised his chin: "Decided?"

"Well, it's decided."

Chang Jian nodded, looked at the boy in front of him who was taller than himself, but looked like a child, and smiled: "Can you tell me why you insist on choosing these schools?"

"I like the north and want to study in the north."

This was an excuse that Si Nan had thought up all day long. Although it was clumsy, it still made sense.Originally, he thought that where to study and where to live was his own business, but it was not until the end of the matter that he realized that it was actually not easy to make the decision he had already thought about.After all, in ancient times, Chang Jian could not repay him for his kindness.Sinan always felt that his current behavior was a bit unethical.

"Well, the north...there is more than one city in the north, right? With your grades, there is obviously a more suitable choice for you."

Chang Jian looked at Si Nan's face, and didn't say much about this topic until he clicked.

"Your wish, your mother and I will not stop you. After all, this is your own life. The college entrance examination is the first life direction you choose for yourself. In the future, this direction may change several times, and you will still make changes. Countless decisions, and I hope that every one of your decisions is true, because truth may bring regret, but it will never make you regret."

"Of course, anytime you need our help, we're right behind you."

Sinan felt the strength brought by Chang Jian's hands holding his shoulders, and suddenly a heavy emotion filled his heart, like gratitude and shock.He has always been strange, strange about Chang Jian's sincerity towards him and his expectations for him.

why?

"What did you say?" Chang Jian didn't hear clearly.

Si Nan raised his head in a daze: "Why are you being so kind to me? Why did my mother suddenly come to pick me up with conscience?"

At first, Si Nan thought to himself, since he was alone and penniless, he was not afraid that others would have plans for him.However, this malicious speculation has become swayed by the change of time. In the past two years, it seems that he has used the heart of a villain to measure the belly of a gentleman, but why?Why did Chang Jian accept him so easily, why did his mother suddenly realize his conscience?

"Xiao Nan..." The hesitation on Chang Jian's face surprised Si Nan for no reason, and he almost immediately regretted asking this question. "Forget it, I'm just..."

"No, don't think too much, I love your mother very much, and likewise, I love you as a father."

The earnestness in the man's words finally dispelled the last trace of doubt in Sinan's heart. Sinan thought to himself, it won't be worse anyway, so why not try to believe it, and believe that it is finally his turn to live well this time.

The three-month summer vacation drove everyone crazy, and the little melancholy in Guan Yan's heart quickly dissipated. Of course, the main reason for this was that Lin Shu was admitted to Fu University as successfully as Xu Xu. Study locally.

"What's the future!" Chen Sen said in pain, hating iron for steel.It was as if he wasn't the one who jumped up and down when he saw Sinan's admission letter.

Guan Yan was enjoying himself and didn't bother to talk to him.

And Xu Xu considered himself a half-informed person, and he found Chen Sen's behavior of "laughing at fifty steps" at the same time as being amused, but at the same time he felt a little bit emotional.

There has always been little true love in the world, so why not be a bosom friend.