underground river

Guan Yan didn't give up, insisted on digging out this "girlfriend" who was hiding behind her back. Chen Sen practiced the silent meditation all the way.

After Guan Yan made such a fuss, Chen Sen couldn't do anything all afternoon, and felt annoyed when his mind went blank.In the end, everyone could see that he was in a bad mood, so he asked Guan Yan, and he replied uniformly: "It's okay, puberty, I want a girlfriend."

——And the "girlfriend" is in a distant foreign country at this time.

Chen Sen automatically added the second half of the sentence in his heart, and became more and more upset, so he simply hid aside to smoke.

There was an open-air barbecue area in the backyard of the club. Lin Shu took some grilled meat skewers and walked to Chen Sen, handed them to him, and asked gossipingly, "Are you in a relationship?"

If he categorically denied it, everyone would think it was just a joke, but today for some reason, he suddenly stopped talking, neither denying nor admitting, so in Lin Shu's eyes, this reaction was equivalent to admitting.

"Don't worry, I'm optimistic about you." Lin Shu winked at him.

Chen Sen was a little startled looking at her, and her reaction was as if she already knew who this "girlfriend" was referring to.

Chen Sen is not yet ready to come out, and he hasn't even figured out how to tell Guan Yan, but in fact he has experience of coming out to people around him.The first person to know about his sexual orientation, apart from himself, was the deceased old man.

At that time, he went back to live at his grandfather's house during the winter and summer vacations, and the old man saw that he was hiding something in his heart. After just a drink, the old man couldn't find him. When asked, everything was said.

When he woke up the next day, recalling what happened the night before, his face turned pale with fright. When he knelt down in front of his grandfather at a loss, the old man just sighed for a long time, and then said to him: "Xiao Mori, you can't do this. It can’t be like this, let’s change it.”

His heart went cold when he heard it.

His father left early. Li Nianqin was busy earning money when he was a child, and he wanted to send him to the best school in the city. Unlike Guan Yan, he only transferred to Fucheng in the second and half semester of junior high school. He spends time with the old man.

The old man asked him to change, but he couldn't.Chen Sen thought, then bury it in the bottom of his heart and let it rot. After a long time, maybe he can pretend that he has changed.That's what he thought, he never thought that he would meet Si Nan, over and over again, like a collection of all the coincidences in the world.

Thinking of Si Nan, Chen Sen felt a little uncomfortable.

This kind of discomfort gradually becomes pervasive, and it will happen when the wind comes.

Li Nianqin saw that he had nothing to do all day long, so he found him a job as a tutor.

Mr. Chen's students are all neighbors in the community, some are in elementary school, junior high school, and some are of his same generation.Chen Sen was famous for his good grades. For a while, Teacher Chen became very popular and his wallet was getting fuller. At the same time, because of this numb busyness, it seemed that his longing had subsided a little.

In this way, the two-month summer vacation that was originally thought to be very long flew away at lightning speed.Guan Yan and Xu Xu went to a neighboring province to play. Chen Sen didn't make it because he was going to be a tutor. Time moved forward. Sinan came back from a study tour in England, and the seventh middle school started. They finally moved into the legendary The middle high third floor.

The third floor of the No. [-] Middle School is unique, built in the most remote corner, separated from the first and second grade students by a very large back garden, not only away from all basketball and football fields, but also far away from the cafeteria and snack bar.

"However, in the third year of high school, we will leave school 10 minutes early for lunch, and the kids in the first and second year of high school will eat what we have left." Guan Yan said.

Their new classroom was on the third floor near the toilet. As soon as they moved in, Mr. Qiu rearranged the seats for everyone according to their ranking.Si Nan, Chen Sen, and Guan Yan were in the last row as usual. At the same time, several art students in the class also moved to the back.

Everyone had a faint feeling in their hearts, and that feeling became more real and heavy after Xu Xu hung up the small whiteboard with 365 days written on it again.

The days when we go our separate ways seem to be far away, and it seems that they are coming in a blink of an eye.

When everyone first moved in, there were still traces of the last senior year in the classroom, and there were dense messages written in chalk on the blackboard of the podium, including some funny confessions.And the blackboard at the back of the classroom is pasted with many message notes. These message notes are cherished and made promises, and they stand silently behind the time, becoming the last trace of youth. Ask about.

Have those dreams come true?Or does it end up just being trash can filler?

no one knows.

The number on the small whiteboard changes day by day, and the person who is most enthusiastic about taking care of it is Guan Yan, which is beyond everyone's expectations.

The four people from 413 leave at the latest every day. Before leaving, Guan Yan will write down the new numbers and hang them up again.Guan Yan said that this will make him feel that he is truly alive.

These words really didn't seem like what Guan Erye would say, but Si Nan seemed to understand a little bit later, what was Guan Yan thinking in his mind when he said this.

People who have been making jokes and have no ideas or goals for the future will actually be more stressed and flustered than those who study hard and want to be admitted to a certain university in the environment of the third year of high school.

You have already figured out the direction to go, but I am still staying in the same place, staying in the past time when I was reluctant to move forward...

But no matter how unwilling, unwilling, and afraid, the days of the third year of high school will pass like water, unstoppable.

This year's New Year is still as lacking in new ideas as in previous years.The New Year's Eve dinner is always the same. Sinan wrote a new couplet for the Spring Festival, but the old one was torn off and shredded. The Spring Festival Gala was still not popular with young people, but Sinan still watched all the programs with his grandma.

Children seem to be the happiest people in Chinese New Year, but even so, this year's New Year, compared with previous years, makes people feel much more precious and reluctant.

When the firecrackers sounded, Si Nan called Chen Sen. Behind him came the countdown of the host of the Spring Festival Gala. He heard Chen Sen's breathing in winter, smiling softly, as if he was right next to him.

"Happy New Year."

"Fun."

I love you.

I love you too.

The winter vacation of the third year of senior high school was shorter than Guan Yan's occasional enthusiasm for learning. It was time to start school just after the fifth day of junior high school.

After a semester of baptism, everyone has more or less changed, but on the first day of school, as soon as Sinan entered the dormitory, he saw Guan Yan lying on the table copying his homework, and he suddenly felt, as if Everything hasn't changed much.

It was as if when Guan Yan raised his head, the sentence that popped out of his mouth was still "copy my English homework for me! Please drink soda at noon".

When Sinan was in a daze, Guan Yan really looked up and looked at him anxiously: "Sinan, hurry up, copy the Chinese homework for me, the fucking old man Li is not human when he assigns homework!"

Si Nan laughed, and smashed the backpack on his shoulder.

As soon as Si Nan and the others entered the classroom, they heard Li Fan, the little broadcaster, standing on the podium and mysteriously saying that someone was coming on the sixth floor.

The sixth floor of the third floor had been empty before, and there were rumors that the sixth floor was reserved for repeat students, and they would move here from the experimental campus in the second half of the third year of high school every year. I didn't expect this rumor to be true.

It's true, everyone will forget it after hearing it.

But soon, the three words "repeater" came into everyone's sight again, as if branded with a hot iron, it was hard to ignore anymore.

When the results of the second medical examination came out, Sinan managed to climb to the top of the [-] rankings and was suddenly rushed to the top of the [-]s. The more intuitive feeling is that Chen Sen, the first in the liberal arts grade that has not changed for thousands of years, fell out of the rankings for the first time. Out of the top three, ranked fourth.

"what's the situation??"

"The school is going to give us a strong medicine!"

"Don't bring such shocking things..."

"What the hell are you going to take? The university will be left to repeat students!"

……

Everyone was filled with righteous indignation and complaints. It's been three months, and there are only two months left before the college entrance examination. As soon as the repeat students joined, everyone's ranking dropped a lot, although they knew in their hearts that the comparison was nothing but normal Yes, but it's still hard to understand.

And when everyone saw Chen Sen's results, this difficulty turned into real anxiety.

The morale of the army was slackened, and the class teachers urgently held a class meeting, and they were singing the red face and the bad face.

But now he really doesn't have the mood to mourn the spring and autumn, because he is now facing another big trouble - Chang Jian wants to send him to study abroad.

Si Nan didn't dare to tell Chen Sen about this matter, the two-month relationship in a foreign country during his sophomore year had tormented both of them solidly, let alone a foreign country, in his heart it was impossible to go to a different place.

But Chang Jian was entirely out of consideration for him. Faced with this kindness, Sinan couldn't refuse directly, but could only delay it. After a while, he passed the IELTS test. Of course, he didn't pass the test. .

Chen Sen overheard Si Nan calling Chang Jian to know about it, but if Si Nan didn't tell him, he didn't know.

What can I do if I know?Chen Sen couldn't think of one, two, three.

The third examination is scheduled for mid-May, and when the results came out, Chen Sen returned to the first place in the grade. When Mr. Qiu got the report card, he patted him on the shoulder with rare joy, and said, "You finally realized it later." I realized that this is the third year of high school."

In a word, he slapped the whole class in the face.

This is the case with learning one. Some people are talented, and there is no upper limit to the value of his hard work.And some people, even if they are diligent and hardworking in their studies, they will stop at the door and fail to learn the truth.

In the last half of the month, all subjects stopped lectures and exams, and entered the final stage of self-review.

The numbers on the small whiteboard next to the blackboard became less and less every day, and finally entered single digits.

The weather was so hot that some students moved their desks and stools outside the classroom to study. For a while, crowds kept following suit, and the narrow corridor was filled with all kinds of desks. Inside the classroom, everyone sat in groups Together, some may not be studying, but the teachers don't want to care about it anymore.

When it was time for evening self-study, Chen Sen sat outside the corridor and told everyone the history, surrounded by a group of people, everyone seemed to have never loved studying so much in their life, and they were all desperate.

In this way, the time for thousands of troops to squeeze the single-plank bridge finally came.

When moving the last box of books away from the classroom, Guan Yan took down the small whiteboard, erased the trembling 1, rewritten a 0, and then he cried.

Guan Yan hid in the classroom by himself and howled a few times. He thought everyone had left, but in fact the other three people from 413 were there, but they all hid outside the door, and did not make a sound in an extremely tacit understanding.

Guan Yan's cry was not sad at all, but a little bit wronged, a little uneasy, as if asking——

Obviously no one wants to grow up, why all of a sudden we grow up?

Is it hard being an adult?Can tears still flow casually?

If I don't like being an adult, can I still be a child?

Who to ask?

do not know.

Old people often say "you will know later". At the beginning, no one took this sentence seriously, until finally everyone who listened to it became an old man.

You are upset, feel that you are wronged and pitiful, there is no reason for the pain, but you listen carefully, when you are young, under the locust tree, the one who is clamoring to grow up quickly is not you ?

The author has something to say:

Being an adult is hard work.So when can I go back to the countryside to raise pigs?