Sustained high temperature

Feng Qi stood by the window, leaning against the wall and watching the night outside.

Lin Chuyan sat on the edge of a small table in front of the bookcase, memorized English for a long time, and when he looked up, he saw his somewhat lonely appearance.Originally, he had been distracted tonight and couldn't recite the English text, but now he was even more depressed.

Feng Qi's appearance is very similar to the person in the movie, except that there is no burning cigarette between his fingers, and there is no misty smoke.Speaking of quitting smoking, he really never smoked again, and the lighter was also lying in the drawer of Lin Chuyan's room.

Lin Chuyan put down the book and walked to him.Feng Qi moved and made room for him to come out: "No endorsement?"

"I can't carry it on."

Feng Qi rubbed his hair, and asked softly: "Unhappy?"

Lin Chuyan didn't answer, just asked him: "Brother, what is loneliness like?" He didn't want to pry into Feng Qi's mind, he really didn't understand loneliness.He is a passionate young man, with very few lonely moments, but occasionally he sighs and has nothing to rely on, and he has the stubbornness of gritting his teeth, even if the situation is difficult, he will not really feel how terrible loneliness is.

However, the people around him, including Feng Qi, showed their fear of loneliness one after another.Lin Chuyan thought of what Tang Yi said about being in the same place, and couldn't help but want to do that for Feng Qi.

Feng Qi lowered his head to look at Lin Chuyan, and saw that the young man's clear eyes were full of compassion and sorrow, and he thought about the answer carefully.

Loneliness is perhaps the most powerless emotion in the world.Everyone has the desire to talk, the desire to be heard.Everyone, there will be moments of great joy, and I can't help but want to tell this moment to someone, to see his eyes light up, two people laughing happily together, instead of one person stomping excitedly and rubbing Rubbing his hands together, he tried to calm himself down.

Feng Qi seldom wants to share happiness.The loneliness he identified is the unspeakable divorce between people.Even we ourselves often have situations where our words and deeds completely deviate from our hearts, and what we say is often completely different from what we think in our hearts.Expressing emotions is a very difficult thing.It is difficult to express yourself accurately, let alone two people who need to express each other and then understand each other.

One person wants to understand another person, relying on the mysterious power of inconsistency.Sometimes a look can make you understand.Sometimes it is useless to dance with hands and feet, and it is useless to exhaust body language and verbal skills. In vain, I become a monster in the eyes of others, and no one understands what anyone is talking about.

Feng Qi never dared to expect someone to understand the spark that exploded in his heart. How can such a strange feeling like electricity be conveyed to others?He has lived alone for 27 years, and he has never felt the heat of two hearts getting close to each other for a moment.

He put his hand on the cold windowpane, and said: "Loneliness is when I play the piano, the people next to me say it sounds good, but they don't know what kind of torture I'm suffering from."

"Then do you know how to resist loneliness?" Lin Chuyan looked at him.

Feng Qi smiled and asked, "Can I give you a hug?"

Lin Chuyan nodded, but was a little puzzled, it's not that Feng Qi never hugged him.In the next second, he understood.Feng Qi's hand passed under his arm, fingers intertwined and wrapped his arms around his waist, her chest pressed tightly against his back, and then she put her chin on his shoulder.

"Last time, you said: 'I'm so close to you, it's easy to recognize.'" Feng Qi said in a low voice, "I knew at that time that loneliness is irresistible. Because as long as I feel companionship even for a moment Knowing each other, I don’t want to be side by side with loneliness again in this life.”

"Irresistible?" Lin Chuyan was a little annoyed.

Feng Qi hugged him even tighter, her voice was weak and sick: "I'm sorry, I can't resist." It's like he couldn't resist the desire in his heart at this moment, and he didn't want to let go of this person in his arms.

"Isn't this a paradox?" Lin Chuyan said, "Since you don't want to stand side by side with loneliness, you will always fight against loneliness. Since you are fighting, why do you say it is irresistible?"

"Because you hate loneliness, you chase not being alone. And once people start chasing the crowd, chasing the company of others, they become another person. That's the complication of loneliness, people remain alone and they become miserable. It is because of the fear of loneliness that it becomes the defeat of loneliness."

Lin Chuyan turned her head abruptly and met Feng Qi's eyes.He said, "Brother."

"En." Feng Qi responded.

Lin Chuyan pulled him to the side of the piano, sat on the piano bench by himself, and started playing carelessly.He said while playing, "I know there is a way to tell Lonely Maliuer to go away."

Feng Qi didn't speak, just looked at him quietly.

Lin Chuyan's eyes were clear, but a thin layer of red floated up from the back of his neck, and painted the roots of his ears with a charming color.

He stopped flicking his fingers, plucked his heartstrings instead, and moved his gaze to Feng Qi's eyes inch by inch: "That method is called: 'Know everything without saying everything.' With that method, you can get a person's Heart, as long as two hearts are closely connected and intimate, loneliness will be seamless."

He then pressed a key heavily: "Listen! If I don't understand music theory or the piano at all, and what I play, can you understand what it is?"

Feng Qi shook her head.

"That's right," Lin Chuyan smiled softly, "I couldn't understand the record you played last time." He walked over and picked up a star on the record shelf—there were more and more piles of stars there. More and more stars—said: "Tell me what you have, don't play the piano, don't use that voice, speak with your mouth. You can't understand my piano sound, but you have ears. I can now Tell you what I just said on the piano: 'I miss you so much.'”

Feng Qi blinked her eyes, it seemed that the paper star in Lin Chuyan's hand was emitting a dim yellow light.He thought: No one does not envy the innate idealism, and no one does not envy the idealists who will never be changed by reality.You have the desert and the Gobi, and you know suffering and suffering, but you are not as good as he is sitting on the Golden Crow and the Milky Way.

Feng Qi lowered her head and kissed her own fingers, as if to give herself some strength.He took the star, put it in the pocket of his pajamas, and pinched Lin Chuyan's ear with his fingers: "I promised you that I would not hide it. Chuyan, you are with me now, I am really not alone."

Lin Chuyan's heart beat faster, and she lowered her head: "I don't know why, I guess you know. Some things, some emotions, happened out of nowhere. Don't laugh at me."

Feng Qi looked at the top of his hair, his expression was completely incomprehensible.The light in the living room shone on one side of him, and a little light on the tip of his nose was facing Lin Chuyan, while his back was dark, with two halves of yin and yang, just like his heart.

"I can't figure it out." Feng Qi smiled, and tapped his chin lightly on the knuckles of his index finger, "I'm so stupid, how can I laugh at you, we Xiao Chuyan are so smart."

Just as Lin Chuyan was about to raise his head, Feng Qi pushed him to the bedroom, his voice sounded like he was coaxing a baby who was not yet one year old: "Sleep, I'll take you to see flowers tomorrow."

After tossing and turning for a long time, Lin Chuyan kept his eyes open as it was almost three o'clock.Feng Qi's attitude towards him was obviously avoiding.He tiredly opened the door to go to the toilet, but saw a glimmer of light cast from the study.It's so late, what is Feng Qi doing?

Lin Chuyan lowered his voice and walked over step by step.

The door was ajar, and Lin Chuyan saw everything in the house through the gap:

There were white papers scattered all over the place, complete or incomplete paintings, and a few pieces of paper were thrown out and fell to the ground in a whirl.

The room was illuminated by the white paper all over the floor, as if it were daytime.

On the ground close to the door, there was a complete painting, the bright colors shocked Lin Chuyan's heart.

It was an unbelievably beautiful picture.A hut with a strange shape in the forest is the center of the whole picture. The structure of the house is exquisite, and it is described by the painter as warm and comfortable.The sun shines through the lush trees to form countless light curtains, which are reflected on the dotted white flowers.The apple trees in front of the gate exude a ripe fragrance, and a stream flows slowly.

It seems to be the residence of the gods. People only need to look at it, and their hearts will be filled with great emotion.

What surprised Lin Chuyan was that all the scrolls around here were houses without exception.Every house is unique, so beautiful that it makes people think that they have come to another world.

Among the countless white paper scrolls was Feng Qi, whom Lin Chuyan was completely unfamiliar with. Holding a paintbrush, he drew everything on the paper.

Lin Chuyan silently looked at Feng Qi, this Feng Qi he had never seen before.

His side face is as quiet as the dawn is approaching, the gray sky seems to hide something, but that mysterious substance cannot be covered up by manpower, it will break through the darkness in an instant, and come indomitable.

Feng Qi's sculptural outline is not aggressive at this moment, it is as gentle as if he is indulging in a dreamland of extreme joy.His hands moved quickly, like white light, revealing some secret thoughts in his heart.

Sitting there, Feng Qi's side face was so serious that it moved people's face, and his eyes were full of peaceful joy - a silent joy, as if he didn't even notice it.

He frantically confides everything on the painting, and then throws the finished product around without hesitation, and continues to confide a hope that can never be uttered on the next blank sheet of paper.

In the painting that was just completed, the house is built on top of the star river, and countless stars are shining brightly.The thin piece of paper whirled and flipped in the air lightly, and the gentle waves of the Milky Way swayed slowly.

Lin Chuyan looked again reluctantly, then walked away quietly.Feng Qi like this is too charming, yet too difficult to understand.He seemed to be pouring out something, and he seemed to be resisting what was poured out.Lin Chuyan knew that Feng Qi loved life, but he lost his passion for life.This is simply unreasonable, this is absolutely infuriating!

Just like the person in the TV series, who said "I love you" and then let go of his lover's hand, entangled so strangely that the person in front of the TV cursed: "It's so unreasonable!"

Lin Chuyan was preoccupied, walked in a panic and was afraid that Feng Qi would hear the noise, so she fell down and fell heavily on the floor with a "bang".

Feng Qi heard the movement and came out quickly, frowned and pulled him up, asking nervously, "Where did you fall?"

Lin Chuyan shook his head and just looked at him blankly.Very wronged.

Feng Qi checked his body carefully, and he was relieved when he didn't find any injuries: "Come out to use the bathroom?"

Lin Chuyan said "En".

"Then go," Feng Qi said, "Go back to sleep, it's getting late."

Lin Chuyan nodded, still looking at him.

Feng Qi sighed, and continued: "Go, I'll wait for you here, if you have anything to say when you come out, just say it."

Lin Chuyan turned around and went into the bathroom.When he came out, Feng Qi directly pulled him into her bedroom and made him sit on the bed.

"In a bad mood tonight?" Feng Qi moved a stool and sat opposite him.

Lin Chuyan was sleepy, and lowered his head for a long time before saying: "Brother, I've been wanting to ask why you don't work anymore. It's not about taking a break in the middle, it seems that you... have no plans for that."

Before Feng Qi could speak, Lin Chuyan said again: "Actually, I really want to cheer you up. Don't lie to me, I can see it. You will also have moments of special joy and special desire to do something, but you Why not keep that moment forever?"

It seems that the joy of life is like a flash in the pan, burning once and then extinguished, and despair always occupies the main position.

Feng Qi embraced him, let his head rest on her shoulder, and said in a low voice, "Chu Yan, if I like a bird, it's because I appreciate its effort to soar high. Totally joy and admiration for it, but that doesn't mean I want to be a bird. Sometimes just because I smile at someone else's life doesn't mean I can live that life. I only have one Destination, and only there can I find peace.”

For Feng Qi, Lin Chuyan is a young man who has touched him countless times, and he loves all the sincere and brave power in this child very much.The influence that one person can exert on another person can be extremely huge, but the traces of everything that this person has brought about in the past are difficult to erase.

Just like Li Lin, Tang Yi hated her and thought she hurt Xu Qin.But when facing the poor Li Lin, Tang Yi's tenderness and kindness made her feel sympathetic to that girl, and she comforted and encouraged her warmly and sincerely.At that time, Li Lin was greatly impacted. She had never been treated like that before.However, she would not disarm and guard just because of Tang Yi's love at that moment.The pain of the past has been branded too deeply for too long, and she knows that many things are irreversible.

Feng Qi was like this.The past is real and must not be erased.

After a long time, Feng Qi replied to Lin Chuyan: "Because at such a moment, I was knocked down by the past and memories, was submerged, and fell into a deep place. After that moment, I can't find it anymore. .”

Lin Chuyan raised his head from his shoulder: "How many times have I told you, don't surrender to the past."

Feng Qi looked at him, but smiled.He smiled contentedly, as if facing his most precious treasure in the world.Feng Qi held Lin Chuyan's chin, and gently kissed the corner of his eyes: "That's why I like you so much. Because Lin Chuyan will not surrender, Lin Chuyan can do anything, I think this is the thing that makes me the most happy. In fact, I haven't told you that I can't stay with you for a long time. I won't be here until July. These days, because I think of you, I am very happy. "

He looked into Lin Chuyan's eyes: "I don't really want to say thank you, but I am really very happy. This is the truth, I have to say it."

Lin Chuyan was stunned, not knowing what to say for a while.What do you mean, you won't be here in July?

Feng Qi smiled, stuffed him under the quilt, and lay down beside him: "Sleep, Chu Yan. I'll sleep with you."

Lin Chuyan was in a daze, resting his head on the soft pillow, he smelled the clean scent of Feng Qi.Feng Qi approached him and rubbed his forehead with her forehead: "Good night."

Lin Chuyan clutched his heart violently, feeling the extreme pain and strange fluctuations of love there.

He struggled to make a sound: "Brother, I shouldn't have forced you to stop thinking about the original thing. I was wrong. I'm sorry, you must be very sad."

Feng Qi's eyes were deep, he raised his other hand and patted Lin Chuyan's back through the quilt, his voice was very soft: "Chuyan, in fact, sometimes you are too deliberate."

"what?"

"The past is real. You overemphasized your indifference to the past, and you said over and over again that you would never surrender to the past." He paused, carefully choosing his words, "The more you do this, the more nervous you will be. Tight, you are actually afraid that it will break, aren’t you?”

Lin Chuyan quickly raised her head: "I didn't!"

Feng Qi didn't speak, just stared at him through the deep night, he was very calm, no emotion could be seen in his eyes.

Lin Chuyan gritted his teeth and looked at him for several seconds.

Feng Qi's expression didn't change, Lin Chuyan gradually lost ground, he lowered his eyes little by little.

He didn't know, but he was terrified of mentioning the past.He doesn't want to, can't go back,

When Lin Chuyan's upper eyelid was about to drop to his eyelid, Feng Qi covered his eyes with his hand.

In the quiet living room, Lin Chuyan heard Feng Qi's voice: "Don't be afraid. You are different from me, you have confidence. I gave you a lighter, and you have the courage to fight against the past."

Feng Qi felt Lin Chuyan's eyelashes fluttering against his palm.He smiled lightly, and continued: "Open your eyes, see clearly before burning, don't rush and just start the fire. If you close your eyes and start the fire, it's easy to burn yourself."

At this time, Feng Qi let go of his hand gently, and met Lin Chuyan's eyes: "Fighting against the past is not about forgetting or avoiding it, but about remembering it and letting it burn at this moment."

"At this moment?" Lin Chuyan repeated in a low voice.

"It's not about letting the past disappear, but about letting the past come to the present moment where you are encountering it." Feng Qi smiled, "Let it look at you, you look at it, and you burn it .”

"Why is this so?" Lin Chuyan looked at him ignorantly.

Feng Qi lowered his eyes: "Because of that, you have truly defeated it. What you are afraid of is the past coming to the present, not the present, but the past repeating itself. Then tell it in front of the present that you are not afraid It comes back."

Lin Chuyan buried her head deeply in his arm: "Because no matter what moment I am, it is me. No matter what time it is, as long as this me does not change, there will be no difference between the past and the present, right?"

"Yes."

Lin Chuyan held back tears, trying not to make her voice tremble: "Feng Qi, why don't you do this yourself?"

Feng Qi wrapped his left hand around the back of his head, and gently stroked his black hair: "I don't know." He held Lin Chuyan's hand with the other hand, and brought his hand to his chest: "Here The voices are so many and chaotic, I don’t know which one to listen to. The feeling just now is very strange. I looked at you and said such words. I only feel in my heart that it is something that belongs to you and must be given to you. you."

"If you don't know which voice to listen to, can you..." Lin Chuyan exerted some strength in his hands, trying to get closer to his heart, "Listen to me?"

His eyes looked up at Feng Qi, with a little moisture at the end of his eyes.

Feng Qi turned over and hugged him, her voice became very light again: "Okay, I'll listen to you."

No, it's not like that.

Lin Chuyan grabbed the fabric of the pajamas in front of his heart, and hurriedly organized his words: "My candies...my stars, I will give you all. You must listen to me. Try it, okay? I'll hang them for you to heaven."

The corners of Feng Qi's mouth curled up: "Honey, you will definitely be good at chasing girls in the future."

Lin Chuyan's heart was throbbing with pain, as if someone stabbed him.He said weakly: "Wait a little longer, wait a little longer."

But Feng Qi patted him on the back again and again, as if trying to coax him to fall asleep quickly.

Lin Chuyan frowned and closed his eyes: "Don't think too far. When the sun is not so poisonous tomorrow, we will go to see the flowers."

Lin Chuyan saw Feng Qi running towards him in the flower field that day.

He thought eagerly in his heart: Can you run again?I will never let you fall again.Don't even think about July.I'm going to hold you tightly, I told you not to let go, you don't let go!

The author has something to say: The author who talked a lot started beeping again: This article is really poorly written, extremely poorly.Until now, I have always felt sorry for Chu Yan and Feng Qi, for bringing them into my pen, but writing such a crappy story.Towards the end, the daily update is very tense.On the one hand, because there are few comments, there is no pressure.On the other hand, because there are few comments, I know my own strength.I don't mean to complain, I just feel sorry for the readers.But looking at the number of hits per chapter, I am surprised myself.It is written like this, and people still read it. I really feel very fortunate and grateful.There are probably five or six chapters to come, and I will try my best to finish the story, but really, this is already a failure.Thanks again for reading the text.bow.